Chapter 7 – In The End I Feel Alive

A/N: Content warning for more reference to past emotional abuse. It's the big section in italics so skip over that if you want to avoid. Be safe, people.

Hours passed in a blur. Spirits flowed like water, classic after classic resonated through her heart, and joy pulsed through her with every pulse of bass. Yang allowed herself to lose herself utterly in the moment, becoming a receptacle for the world around her.

When at last the DJ, a ginger man in a white suit and bowler hat, announced the night was over, and bade everyone a good night, the group stumbled out in various states of inebriation, except for Scarlet and Nora, who had already left for the latter's apartment after certain shenanigans on the dancefloor.

Sun and Neptune were only mildly tipsy by the end of the night, and so they made for the former's house. The remaining four ended up clumsily meandering in the general direction of Belladonna Delights.

By this point, Blake was the most sober, having decided to go easy, though Yang couldn't for the life of her remember why.

Nor could she remember why Ren was clinging to the Faunus' arm. But whatever.

When they finally reached the parlour Blake offered Yang a place on the couch.

"Waiiiit a sec. Isn't the princess on the couch?"

Weiss mock-glared at the epithet.

"You'll see what I mean."

Yang remembered vaguely hoping the walls of the building were fairly thick, since both she and Weiss were having trouble avoiding said walls. Blake would've helped but they were having enough trouble shepherding Ren, who was somehow more inebriated than all of them.

Shuffling uneasily into the apartment, Yang saw the L-shaped couch and without further prompting fell flat onto one length of it.

For once, she was asleep almost the second she landed.

=x=

Kaleidoscopic images whirl around her, the only lights in an otherwise endless void.

"Screw you. Oh, wait, you wussed out when I tried."

In her dreams she always hears her words, though the voice they are spoken with is a distorted corruption of her own.

"I'm really trying to be patient here. Why can't you acknowledge the sacrifices I'm making for you?"

"Why can't you understand? Are my needs not important to you?"

"Am I not good enough for you? Is that it? I should've known."

"You never loved me, did you?"

"Then why can't you give me this?"

She is drowning. The lights are filling her lungs. She gasps and there is a tongue in her mouth that is not her own but it isn't hers either.

It moves with need but when it leaves her lips are caught more softly, almost tenderly. When it tries to regain access she clamps her lips shut and it recedes without reproach.

The lips come to hers no more. Instead, a cold hand rests on her cheek. Not a cold that burns, like frostbite that slowly wears away. Cold like a pillow that hasn't been laid on. Cold like a crisp winter's morning that jolts you awake.

Cold that relieves the burning, the terrible burning.

Not a cold that hurts.

She smiles.

Until the cold is snatched away and the eyes that stare at her are not ice on a summer's day, but pink and brown and pitiless.

The hand is on her throat and it is not cold. It burns and her skin is blistering and she cannot scream because that would require her to breathe and she cannot.

She cannot breathe.

She caNNOT BREATHE.

THE LIGHTS ARE IN HER LUNGS THE HAND IS ON HER THROAT SHE CAN NOT BREATHE SHE CAN NOT BREATHE

=x=

Bolting upright, Yang yelled wordlessly before wincing at the jolt of pain that flared through her skull, reverberating throughout the interior like an echo in a cavern. Nightmare and a hangover. Great. Today is going well.

One hand cradling her head like that would actually help at all it didn't do much of anything really, she examined the unfamiliar room she found herself in. She was lying on one end of an L-shaped couch. On the other side of the room Weiss and Blake were nursing cups of coffee. Or rather, they had been until Yang awoke. Now they were gazing at her with concern and in Blake's case a hint of fear.

Dropping her gaze, she merely mumbled, "Yeah, I'm not a morning person."

Eyebrows almost lost in their fringe, Blake answered. "No shit. Do I want to know?"

The brawler shook her head, then groaned at the pain the movement triggered. "I knew I'd regret that fifth shot. It's always the damn fifth."

Weiss looked puzzled. "Five seems an oddly specific number of shots to regret. And you had more drinks than just those five-"

"Princess, you're a great kisser and all, but please. Lecture me when my head doesn't feel like the punching bag of the world's angriest gorilla."

The fencer clamped her jaw shut and blushed slightly. "Right. Sorry."

Yang waved a hand dismissively.

"So do you need anything?" Blake asked.

"Soup."

The Faunus sounded puzzled. "Did you say-"

"Soup. You got any?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Need food. Can't hold anything else down."

"Soup it is. Nothing chunky, I'm guessing?"

Yang nodded, then slowly eased herself back down onto the couch.

After a few minutes, Blake brought over a steaming bowl and a spoon. Yang thanked them and promptly dived into the thin liquid, wincing when she took the initial sip. One day I'll remember that freshly heated soup kinda burns a bit.

Weiss and Blake seemed content to return to their coffee. Yang felt a twinge of guilt for presumably interrupting their conversation, amplified by her coarse attitude and her inability to show gratitude for Blake's hospitality.

When she had summarily demolished her breakfast she forced herself to her feet and made for the sink. Blake met them there and tried to take the empty bowl from her but she clung to it. The Faunus gave up after a moment, too tired for the shenanigans.

Yang washed up the bowl and spoon, then noticed a pair of plates on the table as well as a freshly-used frying pan, so she cleaned those too.

"Thanks for letting me crash here," she rasped. "And sorry for being grumpy. I don't really do mornings."

Blake shrugged. "Don't worry about it. You didn't have to do that," they added, gesturing at the cleaned crockery.

"Least I could do. I'll get out of your hair." With that she made for the door.

Before she got there she stumbled, and with unnatural speed Blake was there and their hands caught her wrists and steadied her before anything hilariously unfortunate could happen.

"Yeah, you've got some shit to sleep off, there. Stay if you want. That couch isn't going anywhere any time soon." They released her wrists and stepped back. "Or go. Don't mind either way."

Caught for a moment with indecision, Yang eventually opted to collapse back into the soft surface she slept on earlier.

=x=

When she had regained some semblance of cognitive ability she sat back up. Mentally she attempted to recall the events of the night before, realising quickly that there was a distinct absence that she couldn't account for.

"Where's tall, dark and silent? Wasn't he with us?"

Blake grinned and gestured at their bedroom door. "Still sleeping it off. He'll be out of commission today. Ren rarely gets actually drunk but when he does he needs a lot of time to recover."

Yang frowned. "But why was he in your room?"

The Faunus shrugged. "We share sometimes. I've known him for long enough and he's actually pretty cuddly once he's comfortable with you. Don't tell him I said that, though."

"Huh. Nice."

They resumed their quiet attendance to their coffee while Yang focused on forcing herself to wake up properly. However the more lucid she became, the less comfortable she felt. After the nightmare she was still quite rattled, and this place wasn't known to her, wasn't safe. She needed familiarity, and right now there was none here.

Therefore, she pulled herself to her feet, mumbled her way through an apology, some thanks and an excuse before bolting.

There was a rather awkward moment when she got to the main parlour door and found it locked, forcing her to wait for Blake to come down, wordlessly unlock it, then step back to let her go.

This time, she didn't look back.

=x=

By the time she made it home she had worked off a bit of the panic. A few hours and another displaced punching bag later and she was nearly back to normal. At that point she texted Weiss, asking her to once again convey her gratitude and apologies to the feline Faunus.

Within moments, her Scroll pinged with the reply.

I showed Blake your message and they said you can stop worrying. I know that might not necessarily help, but I hope you can. I also hope you're feeling better. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

Yang smiled at the last sentence.

Oh, also Blake and I are going for a walk around town to see some more of the markets they've opened for the Vytal Festival on Monday. You are more than welcome to join us. Let me know if you want to come :)

Wow, I wonder how much she cringed when she typed out an actual emoji?

Still, the thought of seeing them both again buoyed her spirits, especially since it helped dispel her fears that she had ruined her standing with them by being so short with them earlier.

Really do need to work on that morning face.

=x=

On Monday morning Yang was up with the early summer dawn, too excited to doze. She slept lightly enough that the rising of the sun woke her normally anyway, and despite her lingering anxiety and general emotional messiness she was genuinely looking forward to spending more time with the monochromatic duo.

Blake's aura of mystery intrigued the hell out of her. They always seemed so calm and controlled, and their past had to be an interesting one if they had been trained by a Jem'Hadar. It didn't hurt that they were also rather cute – although for the most part Yang's attention had been focused on somebody else in Torchlit, she hadn't failed to notice how the feline Faunus had looked when they handed in their coat to the cloakrooms, removing the visual barrier between Yang and their legs, bound up in those purple jeans that didn't really leave all that much to the imagination.

And then there was Weiss…

While she couldn't deny she had been somewhat enamoured with the former heiress from the start, she was still surprised at how quickly things had progressed, both physically and emotionally. She had never spoken at such length about Neo before, and even though for the most part she kept her tears from pouring it had still been a very trying experience.

The chaotic mix of affection, desire and anxiety that filled her mind when she thought about the fencer was almost overwhelming. At least nothing else happened after we talked. Maybe she really is different.

She definitely needed to take things slower in future, though. She might have gotten a little ahead of herself.

I don't think I regret what happened, but I need time before I can deal with anything more.

Setting her thoughts aside for the moment, she went about preparing for the day, showering and conditioning her hair with the stuff she saved for special occasions just in case, throwing together her usual outfit, wrestling with her mane like it was a rampaging bear, and finally applying a hint of make-up. A faint layer of foundation, and some sparkly gold eyeliner.

Finally satisfied with her reflection, she checked her Scroll to remind herself of the meeting time. Since it was basically on her way into downtown Vale anyway, Yang had agreed to meet the monochromatic pair outside the parlour.

When the time came she set out, and for once her joyful expression and cheery whistle were genuine.

=x=

After greeting the duo with hugs and blushing at the two-pronged assault of flattery on her appearance she received for her troubles, the three of them strode leisurely into downtown. As they came closer and closer to the heart of the city the density of garish, colourful decorations garbing the buildings increased until they reached one of the central parks, Spring Meadow, which filled the centre of town. It had been almost completely dominated by the Vytal Festival, with stalls filling the green expanse, separated only by a handful of large stages, from which blared music from performers across all four Kingdoms.

The trio dove into the market eagerly, marvelling at the wares before them. They visited craftspeople from across the world, examining bags, cloaks, jackets, painting and sculptures, necklaces forged from Vacuan gold and set with rubies and emeralds, embroidered leather bracelets sold by an old Mistrali woman, and so much more besides.

Throughout the entire market the scents of the food court pervaded and dominated – spring onion, ginger and anise of Mistral; the intense fragrance of cumin, turmeric, and saffron that marked out Vacuan cuisine; basil and thyme, oregano and marjoram of Vale; and the rich, heavy aromas of honey-soaked meats and juniper berries that hailed from Atlas; all blending into a discordant yet strangely pleasant mesh of smells which unconsciously reminded those present of just how far all had come to celebrate their unity as a global community.

The sheer, mind-numbing uniqueness of everything they found, of all the different wares and foods and sounds and stories from every place in Remnant was breath-taking.

They stopped for lunch at a stall selling one of the many varieties of Vacuan cuisine – a curry vendor – and playfully discussed who had the greatest spice tolerance, prompted by a teasing remark from Yang. Weiss, having sampled dishes from across the world already, thought she could handle the most.

"I strongly suspect I have had more experience with such foods than either of you. Remember I was expected to eat whatever was served to me with poise and grace, lest my reactions be construed as a slight on a potential business partner."

"But did you spend years training under a Vacuan monk who found anything other than his native cuisine to be bland and uninteresting?" Blake retorted teasingly.

"Pfft, have either of you ever done a shot of tabasco sauce mixed with powdered ghost chillies?" Yang snorted.

Twin expressions of horror gazed back at her.

Oh my DUST, the looks on their faces!

After a moment of undignified gaping, Weiss regained her composure. "Why in the world would you…?" She demanded, unable to even articulate how utterly stupid she clearly thought the decision was.

Yang shrugged. "Game of truth or dare. That was probably one of the tamest dares we had, too." She paused, then offhandedly added, "Also the night I found out I liked girls as well as boys."

Blake raised their eyebrows. "That sounds like a story."

The brawler grinned. "Sure was. But it'll have to wait until we get some food 'cause," at that point her stomach let out a perfectly-timed rumble, causing the Faunus to chuckle and the fencer to roll her eyes, "I'm kinda hungry. Plus, we still have a score to settle."

Nobody seemed willing to back down from their boasts, so they marched up to the counter, expressions of determination armouring their faces, and demanded three bowls of the hottest curry the man had. When Yang handed over a wad of Lien in payment the other two reached for their pockets. Oh hell no. "Guys, I got this. Don't worry about it."

When they both protested she reached out and laid a silencing finger on both of their lips. Shit. I did not think this through. Trying to ignore the fluttering in her chest as she took in the softness beneath each finger, she spoke. "I want to treat you both. My way of saying thanks for not completely flipping out on me when I was hungover."

She let fall her hands, and saw Weiss turn away, clearly flustered. This didn't surprise her.

What did surprise her was how Blake's lips were parted ever so slightly after she removed her finger. Huh. Didn't that I could affect them so easily. I'll remember that.

She considered making a flirtatious comment but held back. Slow down. We aren't supposed to be rushing into anything, remember? Besides, don't wanna make things more difficult for them, considering the whole 'living together' thing.

So she said nothing, and after a moment of awkwardness Blake thanked Yang for buying lunch, and the tension passed, and was forgotten, for now.

There were a few stools at the makeshift counter in front of the curry stand which they promptly occupied, falling easily back into chatter and banter. When the food eventually arrived the owner also gave them each a cup of milk, before shrugging and leaving the whole bottle. Blake reached into their wallet but he forestalled their offer, merely stating, "You're gonna need it."

Before they could thank him, the owner began taking another person's order. Yang noticed long flaming locks and bronzed skin, and quickly looked away. Crap, it's that girl I stared at in the gym!

Turning her attention towards her meal, she grabbed her fork and made ready to dive in. Before she could, however, Blake intercepted her. "Wait. If we're gonna do this, we need to decide what the terms of the competition are."

Yang smirked. "Losers each buy a round next time we go out?"

The others nodded. "Agreed," they replied in unison, before blushing and staring at their meals.

Don't make a smart-assed comment. Don't make a smart-assed comment. Don't make a smart-assed comment.

"How do we define who wins?" Weiss inquired.

"First to finish?" Yang suggested.

The owner, apparently overhearing, decided to butt in. "Nobody who isn't from Vacuo has managed to finish a bowl of that stuff yet."

Blake frowned. "Just what is in this?"

The owner smiled. "Trust me, you're better off not asking."

They swallowed and clenched their jaw. "Alright. Whoever eats the most, wins."

The women nodded. "Deal," Yang said, and dived in before anticipation could paralyse her.

In her peripherals Yang observed the other two do the same.

The first few mouthfuls weren't so bad – in fact, the taste was rather enjoyable.

She knew from experience it wouldn't stay that way, however, so she shovelled the substance down with hefty helpings of the rice it came with, hoping to get as much in as possible before the pain could immobilise her.

Within half a minute she had gotten about a quarter of the bowl's contents down, and it felt like she was eating powdered Burn Dust. Every nerve in her mouth and throat screamed in protest, the fiery food searing its way through her system.

She paused to quaff heartily from her milk and quickly side-eyed her competitors. The feline Faunus appeared to be struggling – their face was red and tears were forming in their amber eyes – but Weiss seemed unaffected. She simply worked her way methodically through the meal as though it was the blandest thing she had ever tasted.

Damn, she really wasn't kidding.

Yang pushed herself onwards and forced down several more mouthfuls of the stuff before she had to give. Just under a quarter of the meal remained, but the protests from her pain receptors were too much to bear. Urgh, so much for resilience training. She downed what remained of her drink which soothed her throat slightly, but when she looked for the bottle she found it empty next to Blake's bowl, which was still more than half full.

"I… regret… every decision that led me to this point in my life…" they croaked, pushing their lunch away and resting their head on the wooden table.

"Saaaaaame," the brawler groaned, doubling over as the burn reached her stomach.

Weiss, on the other hand, was just scooping up the last remnants of her sauce. She pushed the empty bowl away, sipped daintily at her drink, then said in her usual even tone, "Thank you for the meal," to the owner, who looked as though his every fundamental belief about reality itself had just been shattered.

Yang glared at the former heiress. "What… the actual fuck?"

Weiss simply smirked. "I don't make idle boasts, you know." Then she saw Blake faceplanted into the table in despair and Yang clutching her stomach and seemed to realise they were actually in quite considerable distress. "You dolts," she chided. "This was a terrible idea."

Blake groaned. "Yeah, I know. Somehow I forgot that my enhanced senses also include taste. It doesn't usually make much difference, except for when it comes to spices. Urghhhh…"

Yang winced in sympathy. "Ouch. Can't imagine this stuff hurting any more than it is right now."

"Well… In all fairness you did eat nearly twice as much of it as me."

"Still…"

"Can we just agree that this sucks for everyone and move on with our lives, please?" Blake retorted, exasperated.

"Yeah, alright."

"Come on," Weiss laid a hand on each of their shoulders and eased them off the stools. "Do I need to take you both home?"

"Nah," Yang declined. "Should be good in a few minutes." Blake nodded in agreement, though they still looked distinctly worn. Crap, I didn't even think of that. I had no idea Faunus were so sensitive to this kind of thing. If I'd known…

The Faunus and the brawler shuffled along for a few minutes, hoping to distract themselves with more retail therapy. Weiss hovered behind anxiously.

Eventually, Yang had to ask. "Seriously, princess. How are you not even a little bit affected by that stuff?"

"I just hide it better. I am, in fact, dying on the inside," she replied, her composed expression and relaxed but confident posture never wavering.

Damn. And I thought I was tough.

As they meandered once more through the stalls, Blake reminded them both that Yang still owed them a story.

"Ohhhh, that," Yang answered while examining a series of charm bracelets. "Heh. Well, it was soon after I started working at Junior's. Back then I was only a bartender, and I'd just started to make some friends. Sage, Sun, the twins, Scar, and Neptune were all there. We'd all just started hitting 18, so to celebrate, the twins stole some of Junior's booze for the night."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "I swear, those two could get away with anything. Junior adores them."

"You're not wrong," laughed Yang. "So, basically, we were bored and having a few. Next thing we know Sun suggests a game of truth or dare, and we all know he's doing it 'cause he wants some action but doesn't have the guts to actually make a move on anyone there. We go a few rounds. I do that spicy shot thing…"

"You idiot," Weiss muttered.

"…Neptune had to inhale a line of black pepper…"

Blake made a sound halfway between hissing and wincing.

"…Scarlet gave Sage a lap dance…"

The monochrome pair blushed in unison.

"Stuff like that. It was a lot of fun. Until somebody decided to dare Melanie to go seven minutes in heaven."

Blake facepalmed. "There's always somebody who makes it weird."

Weiss frowned. "I think it was already weird by the time erotic dances were being given, but alright."

"Anyways, this smartass, who's name *cough* Sun *cough* will go unmentioned was hoping to be the one to get in there. However I, in the interest of fairness, suggested that we do the dare as tradition dictates – with a bottle spin." Yang trailed off for a moment. "Yeah, that did not go as I was expecting."

"Are we to take it you were selected by the bottle?" Weiss inquired.

"Yup," Yang replied, popping the 'p' sound at the end.

Blake chuckled. "How was it?"

The brawler scratched at the back of her head. "It was… pretty awkward at first, to be honest. We got locked in a closet, so no personal space. Melanie knew I thought I was straight, so she didn't push it. Said she wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to. I had my back against the closet wall and she was right in my face. I wasn't brave enough to make the move myself, but I did… suggest that I might not be as straight as I thought I was."

"Mmm," Blake agreed. "Five minutes with another girl's tongue in your mouth can tend to do that."

Dust-damnit! You think you can out-tease me?

Fighting back a flush creeping up her neck, Yang retorted. "It might've been my first kiss with a girl, but I gave as good as I got. When they banged on the door and said we could come out, Melanie told Sun to piss off, said she wasn't done with me yet. Guess I just have that effect on people…"

Unintentionally she had side-eyed the former heiress in her response to Blake. Whoops. Flustered the wrong person. Well. Not that I'm complaining…

Ugh, crushes are a bitch.

Indeed it seemed the feline Faunus was unaffected – their stance was relaxed and came across as vaguely disinterested, their expression was fairly neutral and they seemed focused on a series of ornate necklaces near where Yang was looking for bracelets.

But when they made eye contact the illusion of indifference was shattered.

The brawler's uncle had often been a source of a very particular brand of wisdom, and although he personally didn't teach her how to fight, he often had a few gems of advice that had served her well, both inside the cage and out.

"You probably heard a bunch of boring old people like me feed you the line about how the eyes are the window to the soul, or some crap like that. While normally I'd be inclined to dismiss expressions like that as fanciful nonsense, in this case there's some truth to it. I'm not saying if you stare hard enough as some poor bastard's peepers you're gonna read his thoughts like a novel or anything like that. But sometimes you can tell thing about a person by looking them in the eye. It's just another type of observation. You might see them looking at the spot they intend to hit, or whether they're a creep looking for somethin' you ain't offering. Hell, if you're trying to find some, ah, company, you can usually tell if someone's interested or just politely trying to hide their disgust just by lookin' 'em in the eye. It's not perfect, and it's not foolproof, and it's not always enough on its own. But it can be another weapon if you learn to use it right."

Right now, as Yang focused in on the amber eyes that met hers, she felt like she could see right through Blake.

The slight crinkling of the skin on the outer edges of those golden orbs and the faintest upturn on the corners of their lips combined with the gaze of someone having slightly less-than-appropriate thoughts all combined to create an effect that was almost predatory, like the feline Faunus was preparing to pounce.

Oh, shit.

Their barely-smile widened just enough to let Yang know that they had just read that thought perfectly.

With impeccable timing, Weiss cleared her throat. Saved by the princess. Pretty sure that's not how the story goes, but I'm not complaining. What happened to taking things slowly?

Once again. Crushes are an absolute bitch.

"If you two are quite finished undressing each other with your eyes, I think I'd like to move on. I saw a stall over there I'd like to have a look at."

The brawler blushed and broke eye contact. Blake, meanwhile, was chuckling again. Smug bastard…

Just you wait.

=x=

The afternoon gradually wore away into evening, and as the sun touched the horizon one by one the merchants began to close down for the day. When they realised how late it was the group agreed to start heading back home for the night.

While she couldn't speak for the others, Yang had thoroughly enjoyed her day out. Aside from the occasional bout of sexual tension, the three of them had gotten along wonderfully. Blake wasn't always the most talkative of people, but their interesting history and razor-sharp wit made them plenty of fun to hang out with. And Weiss was always great for banter – though sparks often flew between them it was mostly in good fun, and there was already a level of underlying mutual respect between them.

That tends to happen when you accidentally reveal a lot of vulnerabilities to somebody.

The brawler was still embarrassed and annoyed at herself for sharing so much about Neo, but she couldn't deny it had been a relief to get it out of her system, even partially.

She couldn't let herself rely on it, though. Weiss was vulnerable and currently attempting to build a new life pretty much from scratch, and the brawler didn't want to add to what must be a large list of stressors.

So on the walk back she kept up her usual cheery, bubbly persona. At least this time it was not wholly insincere – she genuinely enjoyed her day and almost regretted that it had to end.

Scratch that – she definitely regretted it.

When they arrived at Belladonna Delights she expressed as much. "It's been a really fun day. Thanks for inviting me, I had a great time with you guys."

Weiss smiled shyly while Blake did so more confidently. "Likewise," the Faunus answered. "It's nice to make a new friend." They seemed to stumble on their next sentence. "You- uh… We should hang out. Like. More. If you want, I mean."

Aw. They're secretly a dork.

Crap, I love dorks.

"Yeah! Definitely!"

They stood in an awkward triangle outside the door for another few moments before the monochrome duo both went for the hug at the same time.

"Please, after you," Weiss offered, stepping back.

"No, it's fine, you go," Blake returned, each trying to out-courtesy the other.

Yeah, they're both huuuuuge dorks.

Rolling her eyes, Yang reached out and pulled them both in. Weiss let out an undignified yelp at the unexpected collision with the brawler and the Faunus. Eventually the three settled into the gesture, each with an arm around the other two. She savoured the feel of them both pressed closely to her before reluctantly letting go. She bade them both farewell and set off home.

On her way back, her Scroll buzzed. Excited, she opened it, hoping for a message from one of the pair she had just left.

Instead, it was from Junior.

June 30th, 10pm. Five rounds. Usual share. You in?

A/N: Dun-dun-duuuuuuuuun!

So this was supposed to be pure shameless fluff. The nightmare at the start just kinda happened.

In any case, hope you enjoyed! Comments are always appreciated!

See you all next time 3