Hey guys! Here is the next bit! Take a moment to revel in the unbound joy of a bratty teenager, LOL! I hope you guys like it, please le me know what you think!
That night, 9:00 PM found Kerrianne sitting at the small window seat, headphones blaring, staring out the window. It was a damp, foggy night with no stars visible. Behind the cloud cover, the moon was full, hanging heavily in the sky. It didn't take a genius to realize that it probably felt miserable and cold outside, but Kerrianne was safely inside, warm and snug and pissed off.
When it came right down to it, Kerrianne was well aware that she was being difficult. Really, she was being a whiny, selfish teenager. Her head knew this, but she just couldn't stop herself from being mad at the Sons and the Army for doing what they were doing, mad at her current situation, mad at her Ma for putting her in it, and mad at her Da for leaving her in it. If she was honest, none of these people were really to blame and she knew that she was being stupid. However, she really didn't feel like being honest; she felt like being fifteen.
Her day had started off great. She had slept in and rolled out of bed and had helped her father make a real, home cooked breakfast. Then, her family had sat down and eaten together. There had been laughing and talking and smiles all around. A bit later, her Da's friends had come for a while. Jax and Opie and Happy and Juice were all really great guys with really weird names. Then again, her own father was apparently called Chibs, though nobody would tell her exactly why, so she couldn't hold it against them.
All of the California guys were really nice to her. There was Jax, who was all blonde and handsome and moody as hell. Kerrianne could understand, since it was his missing baby that had brought them all to Ireland. There was Opie, who was tall and quiet, but had some of the funniest facial expressions Kerrianne had ever seen. Happy was pretty much anything but happy, and Kerrianne found him mildly terrifying, but he was very calm and polite to her and her ma. Juice was the youngest among the men, and he was just about the biggest tech nerd Kerrianne had ever met. He was very sweet, and Kerrianne appreciated that he talked to her like she was a real person, not just her father's daughter, and though she would never, ever admit it out loud, she found him more than a little cute.
They had come and stayed for a couple of hours, just talking and going over some plans in very hushed tones, shooting sideways glances at her to make sure she wasn't gleaning too much information. They had stayed for lunch, which had given Kerrianne the chance to hear more about Charming and what life was like there. Mostly, she just sat and listened and watched. These men were her Da's adopted family. He spent most of his time around them and they always, always had each other's back. They loved him, and he loved them. The more time that passed, the more she watched them, the more obvious it became.
Before long, Kerrianne had found herself faced with just about the last thing she had expected. She realized that she was jealous. These men, these outlaw bikers, knew her father better than she herself did. They could make him laugh at the drop of a hat, with little to no effort. They knew private details about his life. They had inside jokes together. They knew exactly what they could say and do around him, as well as what they couldn't. When it came right down to it, they knew him, and she couldn't say the same.
Kerrianne found that, the more she thought about it, the more insanely jealous she became. This was her father. Hers, not theirs. She should be able to make him laugh. She should be joking around with him and teasing him and bantering back and forth with him. She should know him inside and out, just like these men did. She knew for a fact that life was far from fair, but damn it, this was her father, and she was finding it incredibly hard to take the fact that every single person in the room knew him better than she did.
She tried her absolute best to bury it deep, to not let it show in front of him. She had done a pretty damned good job, if she did say so herself. She smiled when she was supposed to and laughed when she was supposed to and did everything exactly right. She really hadn't lost it until she overheard the blonde, brooding one point out that it was getting late and say that they had to get going. Everybody had nodded, and they had all stood, even her Ma.
It took Kerrianne a moment to realize that these California biker guys expected her Da to leave with them, and then another moment to realize that he actually planned on going. She was still sitting, curled on the couch, staring in stunned disbelief as they all made their way towards the door.
"What the hell?" she screeched, just as his hand reached it. They all turned back to look at her as if she had sprouted three extra heads. "Are you really leaving us? To go with them?"
It took him a moment to respond, mostly because he looked just as stunned as she felt. "Sweetheart, I am not leaving you. It's just…I mean…the guys need…I just have to go."
"Kerrianne, your Da has things he has to do. A wee baby is missing, and he has to go help find the lad," her Ma spoke up, not sounding nearly as taken aback as her Da had. In fact, if Kerrianne had to guess, there was a twinge of pissed off in her voice.
"And what about us?" Kerrianne shot back. "We're just supposed to stay here, surrounded by guards for the rest of our lives while he goes and rides off with his friends?"
"Kerrianne Elizabeth!" her Ma started, at the same time her Da softly breathed, "Kerri…"
"No, you know what? That's fine. Go. Never mind the fact that it has been ten years since we have all been together and been a real family. I can see where it would be more important to ride off into the sunset with your boyfriends, who you literally spend all day, every day with. That makes perfect sense," she shouted, before turning on heal and stomping back towards her stand in bedroom.
She knew from the second that the words left her mouth that she was crossing some line, overstepping her boundaries, but she really didn't care. She was angry and hurt and hadn't wanted to watch her Da walk away. There were angry tears streaking down her face and she was fuming as she tried and failed to wipe them away. She knew that it would only be a matter of minutes before her Ma arrived to scream at her, and Kerrianne wanted to calm herself down and look at least somewhat reasonable, but she knew it was a lost cause.
The dressing down that she had received from her Ma was one for the ages. She had marched right into Kerrianne's room and wasted no time explaining to her, in no uncertain words, that she was a spoiled, mean, selfish little girl who thought of nobody but herself and how dare she be so hateful towards her father, who loved her like nothing else in the world and how could she even think about making him feel guilty about doing what he had to do and she could not believe that she had birthed and raised such a child. By the time her Ma slammed the door, indicating that she was done, Kerrianne was still angry, still fuming, but she also felt about three inches tall and incredibly guilty about some of the things she had said and done. Not that she would tell her Ma that. No, she did have her pride, after all. She would play the part of angry, sullen teenager until she felt ready to change her mind.
She had paced back and forth across the room for a while, before going to wash her face. After that, she and her iPod and her headphones and her angry, rebellious body had taken up residency on the window seat, where she had been for the past couple of hours. She and her Ma were perfectly content to ignore one another, though Kerrianne knew that their thoughts were in the same place. Both of them loved him and both of them wanted him here, but it was only Kerrianne who felt the need to throw a massive hissy fit over it.
Kerrianne knew that her father loved her. He had told her time and again in the past day or so. Kerrianne also knew very well the trials and hardship that he had been though. She knew damned well that he didn't want to leave them; that he had never wanted to leave them. She had just, once again, found herself completely overcome by such a wide array of emotions and they sort of exploded out of her all at once. She was embarrassed and knew that she would have to apologize to him. Providing he ever came back, of course.
Just as she was beginning to contemplate how that would go, she was waylaid by the smell of something fantastic. She turned her eyes from the window just in time to see a plate of warm banana bread appear in front of her. Kerrianne took out her frustrations and rage by being moody and awful. Her Ma, on the other hand, took out her frustrations by baking banana bread.
The question in her eyes must have been obvious, because her Ma shrugged and reached out to gently yank the earbuds from Kerrianne's ears. "I thought that you might like a snack to fill you up while you brood and figure out how you are going to apologize to your father for that little stunt tonight."
Kerrianne rolled her eyes, but took the plate from her Ma and immediately sampled the wares. There were no two ways about it; it was absolutely delicious. In her own stir of emotions, she hadn't realized just how hungry she was. "Thanks Ma."
"You're welcome, my girl," Ma said, scooting Kerrianne's feet over and taking a seat across from her. "I know you are upset, Kerri, and I understand it. I really do. But you were incredibly harsh tonight, Darlin. And he didn't deserve it."
Kerrianne though on that for a moment, and briefly considered reverting back to her snotty teenage stance, but she realized she didn't have a leg to stand on. She just sighed heavily and said, "I know. I was just…so, so mad. I didn't think he would leave us. I really didn't."
"He tried to tell you, Darlin. He isn't leaving, not for long anyway. He went because he had to. We will see him soon. Tomorrow actually. Father Kellan wants us to go to Maureen's in the morning to avoid some priests," Ma explained.
Kerrianne didn't know what to think about that. Yes, she would be glad to get out of here for a bit, but she hadn't thought she would have to face him so soon. Her Ma might have understood where she was coming from, but would he? She really didn't know, but maybe her Ma would. "What do I do, Ma? What can I say to him?"
Her Ma took her hand and held it, giving her a shrewd look. "I can't tell you that, Kerri. But here is what I can tell you," Ma started. "You love your father very much. I can see it on your face. And you know that he loves you too. I can also tell you that life doesn't always go how you think it will go. Life surprises you and throws wrenches in your plans and before your know it, it just might be too late to say and do all of the things you meant to say and do. I know that better than most, my girl. So if you are asking me for my advice, all I can tell you is to say whatever you need to say while you can. Tell him you love him, Baby."
With that little bit of wisdom imparted, her Ma leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, before standing up and walking away, leaving Kerrianne with a warm plate of banana bread and a mind full of thoughts.