Wait, no one said whats lost cannot be found
You are here to make it safe and sound,
Oh we can make it out alive,
Fate hath its way when all that's learned is sin,
nothing really matters in the end,
As long as you are with me friend,
Oh, dig my shallow grave,
'Cause its not me you'll save.
'Cause I'm a lost cause,
I'm a lost cause,
A lost, lost cause
Lost Cause - Imagine Dragons
I didn't get to see Carlos for a couple days after I saw his memory. He didn't show up to any of his classes, so the only time I saw him was when he was darting too and from the cafeteria. The others of course where extremely worried. They were trying to figure out if he was stressed, or maybe just upset about getting a "C" on that project he did with Evie. They couldn't figure it out. But neither could I. For Carlos to just suddenly become upset and start avoiding people was so out of character for him. Plus that memory of his left my mind racing with questions. It's not like I could ask him about the memory though.
I was confused and I will admit, slightly worried about Carlos never showing up, but that's only because he left me alone to finish building a clock in robotics. But then the craziest thing happened. On Thursday in robotics, he just showed up. Then he proceeded to act like nothing happened. He acted as if he hadn't been gone for days. He even made a joke on how I butchered the clock he had been building (it was true though, that clock was in a sad state). When I tried to ask him why he had been gone he told me he was just thinking and needed a few days. Then he changed the subject. Apparently he had done the same to the others, because now I was hearing an earful from a very angry Evie who had somehow managed to drag me in her room to do the final touches on my costume.
"Can you believe him? He just locks himself away, without any warning or explanation, and then acts like- like nothing happened!" Evie angrily said through two needles she had in her mouth. She had me in some sort of dress, though I wasn't sure what my costume was supposed to be.
"Maybe he was depressed. He told me he needed time to think."
"Depressed about what? Carlos is the cheeriest person in the world." Mal said. She was sprawled out on her bed, lazily scrolling through her phone. At least she didn't seem stressed out over Carlos.
Evie whined. "I don't know what to do." She said. I shrugged. I honestly didn't know what to do either. Up till that point I had never had to deal with caring about someone else's emotions. Except for my mothers of course, and that was just me trying to keep her from getting angry.
Mal sighed and rolled over to look at Evie. "Maybe there's nothing we can do right now. He's still coming to the dance right?" Mal asked. Evie nodded. "Well then let's just focus on making sure he has a good time. If he is upset then we should just focus on making him happy. He'll tell us what's wrong eventually."
With that Evie nodded and got back to working on the costume. Just the slight mention of the dance made me nervous. I guess in two days when the dance happens Carlos's emotions and memory aren't really going to matter. This costume won't matter. None of it will. In two days... My mothers plans will finally go through.
/
I don't ever remember a time when I was nervous to the point of vomiting. I know, not a pretty picture, but it's what happening. It was already Saturday, and the dance was in an hour. Everything rode on what happened that night. If I screwed up anything... I shook my head. I was pacing back and forth across my room, trying to settle my upset stomach. I couldn't keep thinking like that. I was going to make myself sick again. I couldn't be like this when it was actually time to kill him. I had to be stable. Just like before. Just like all of the other times.
I stopped my pacing and took in a deep breath. I'll be fine, I thought to myself. This won't be any different then before. I turned and looked at the costume that was hanging on my door. Evie had brought it up that morning. I was impressed, to say the least. She had come up with a pretty decent costume. The bottom half of the dress was fluffy and stopped a little above my knees. The top was a tight corset with lace running across the stomach. There where short red lace gloves that didn't cover my fingers. The whole dress was black and to top it off, there was a headband with little red cat ears on them. Yes, I was a cat, but hey, at least my costume would be hard to see in the darkness of the maze.
I was able to distract myself from my nervousness by getting ready. After putting on the costume I put on black eyeliner, black eye shadow, bright red lipstick, and my black boots. When I was finished I walked to my full length mirror and gave myself one last look. I was ready. I started to focus on steadying my breathing as the nervous feeling began to twist in my stomach again. Everything was set. I had decided to leave my ax in my room, and would retrieve it later when it was time. Everything had been thought out, yet I couldn't shake that feeling of nervousness, that feeling of dread. It was an awful feeling, and the fact that I was feeling it was making me frustrated.
Suddenly I heard a knock on the door. I jumped slightly a at the sound, and almost slapped myself for doing so. I needed to calm down. Relax. I sighed and opened the door, to find a very excited looking Carlos. He was jumping up and down on the balls of his feet in what looked to be - a Dalmatian costume? It was kind of hard to tell. He wearing an all black pair of pants and shirt, but over that was a black and white spotted vest. He had on black boots and a pair of black and white floppy ears on his head. I couldn't help myself but let out a small laugh.
"Carlos- are you a Dalmatian?" I asked.
"Psh, so what? Your a cat." He said, a grin appearing on his face. "Look Evie even dressed up Dude!" He said excitedly, just as Dude ran up, with tiny bat wings on him. I let out a small laugh again, and turned back to Carlos who I found was still looking at me. He quickly averted his gaze when I looked at him, and I swear I could see his cheeks turn slightly red.
"So um, anyway, Jay and Evie asked me to come get you so we can all walk to the maze together. Mal's already at the maze." He said. I took in a big breath. This was it. It was time.
"Alright let me grab my key and we'll go." I said. When we left my dorm we began to walk down the hall towards Evie's room in silence. I was too busy thinking my plan over to notice the silence or care, but Carlos must have noticed, because he was the first one to break it.
"You look great by the way. Your costume I mean." He said. I snapped my head around to look at him and my mind went blank. What just happened? Did he just compliment me? I wasn't even sure how to respond to that. I could feel heat beginning to rise to my face and I quickly looked away.
"Um- thanks. Evie made it." I managed to say. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him smirking, as if he knew he had made me flustered. I started to walk faster. The last thing I needed was Carlos getting on my nerves while I was already anxious. I didn't bother talking again until we reached Evei's room, and then, the dance.
/
Even standing outside the maze, I had to admit that it looked pretty cool. They had made the maze out of tall black curtains. There where a bunch of signs saying "enter if you dare", and there was fog slowly rolling out of the entrance that seemed to be dimly lit by a black light. There was a faint laughter coming from inside the maze. All around the entrance I could see wide eyed Auradon students trying to convince themselves and their friends to go inside. Every once in a while a group would get brave and go in, but it wouldn't be long before we heard their screams. Mal really outdid herself.
"Damn, this looks sick. We have to go in." Jay said excitedly. He had dressed up as... Well I honestly don't know what he was supposed to be. All he wore was a black leather jacket, ripped black jeans and a t shirt, while Evie had dressed up as a cute witch. She and Carlos looked almost as excited as Jay did.
"Alright let's do this thing." I said. Of course I was going in too. I had to scope out the maze and find out where Ben was. As we started to walk towards the entrance I could see a few of the other kids staring at us as if we where crazy. I couldn't help but smile as I heard a few of their whispers.
"Does this even faze them?"
"Why do they look excited to enter the maze?"
"What is Jay dressed up as?"
"Their freaks. Of course this doesn't affect them."
I turned my head at the last comment, to immediately lock eyes with Alissa. Of course it was her. I hadn't seen her since I had punched her in the Cafeteria. She was dressed up as an angel, with the Halo and all. Upon closer look though, I could see the faint outline of a fading bruise covered in heavy makeup around her eye. I gave her a sly grin as I passed, before finally turning and entering the maze.
It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the maze, but even when they did, it was still hard to see. The only light that was offered was an occasional black light. From those lights though you could see people in nasty costumes, some covered in fake blood, others made too look like demons or ghosts. It was pretty exciting. As soon as we entered though I could feel Carlos tense up next to me. I looked up at him. "You scared?" I teased.
"No, I just don't like the dark." He said without looking at me. I could see on his face that there was a story behind that, but I didn't try to pry him for answers. Instead we both moved forward into the maze. There where a few twists a turns, but not too many. Under every black light there was a fake bloody mess, and occasionally someone would jump out of the dark and try to scare us. Of course none of us screamed, or even jumped, but that didn't mean Carlos wasn't still on edge. I wanted to ask him questions, but I knew I had to stay focused. I still hadn't found Ben, and I was pretty sure that we were close to the end. Maybe I had passed him already. It was hard to see who the people where sometimes. Just as I was staring to feel the slightest bit of panic, a figure In a dark cloak walked out from the curtain and blocked our path. They began to speak in a dramatically deep voice. "You have survived to the end of the maze. You may now enter the dance hall."
I could tell by the looks on the others faces that they where trying really hard not to laugh. Evie spoke up first. "Ben? Is that you?"
The figure hesitated for a second, before slowly lifting off his hood. "Was I that bad?" Ben asked.
"No no you were... Great." Evie said somewhat reassuringly. Ben didn't look convinced.
"I know I'm not good, but I was the only one that would take this job."
"Nah," Jay said. "Just work on your deep voice. You'll get it."
Ben nodded before pulling his hood back on. "Well I'll see you guys later. There's more people coming." He said motioning behind us and quickly running behind his curtain. As we walked past I tried to Sneak a peak behind a small crack in the curtain. From what I could see it was a small dark room, but not much else. That would have to do. That's where it would happen.
/
There where a lot more people in the dance hall than I expected. I had thought majority of them where outside. The room was at least more lit than the maze was though. There was some loud techno music playing from the speakers, and a large group of people that where dancing in the center of the hall. Jay and Evie immediately broke off and ran straight towards the dance floor. I stood my ground. There was no way I was dancing.
"You wanna go dance?" Carlos asked from beside me.
"No. I don't know how to dance." I replied.
"It's easy you just move to the beat." He said.
"No...I think I'm gonna get something to drink." I replied uneasily.
"Well let me come with you." I looked up at him. Why was he being clingy? I opened my mouth to tell him that I would be fine on my own, when Jay ran out from the crowd of people and straight to Carlos.
"Dude what are you doing? You freaken love dancing! Come on!" Jay said before grabbing his arm and dragging him to the floor.
"Hey- wait!" Carlos yelled while being pulled away.
Thank God, I thought.
My stomach began to twist again as I turned towards the door to leave. There where a couple "guards" at the door, making sure nobody went in the dance hall that way, and would instead be forced to go through the maze. I was fine with that, I wouldn't be coming back in. As I stepped back outside, I took a large breath of the night air, trying to calm my nerves. It was particularly dark night because it was a new moon, so it was easy to blend into the shadows. Convenient. I quickly and easily made it back to my dorm, since everyone was either at the dance or in the front of the maze. Getting back to the dance would be pretty easy too. When I made it to my door I fumbled around until I had the key in the door. I stopped as I looked over and noticed the name plate that was next to my door.
"Crimson Hearts"
They had given me a name plate. I was officially apart of this dorm. I shook my head. It wasn't going to be that way for much longer. I entered the room and went straight to my closet where the ax was hidden. My heart was racing and my breath quickening. This was it. I reached my had up to the shelves, feeling around until- my heart dropped. I began to frantically reach around some more, my stomach twisting in fear. The ax was gone. I climbed the shelves, trying desperately to see if it was up there and I was somehow missing it. I wasn't. I jumped back down, squeezing my eyes shut and clenching my fists.
Ok, don't panic. Somebody took the ax, but that doesn't mean anything, it will be easy to get back. But who? Who could have possibly gotten into my room and taken the one and only thing I had hidden? Alissa?
Suddenly I heard slow foot steps behind me. Somebody was in my room. Had I closed the door? I slowly opened my eyes and turned. My breath caught in my throught. Standing in the doorway of my closet was someone I hadn't expected.
"Carlos...?" I asked hesitantly.
He didn't say anything. Instead he just stood staring, as if he was debating what he wanted to do with me. For a brief moment I wondered if I was going to have to fight my way out of the situation.
"Do you really want to do this?" He asked finally. "Do you really want to kill Ben?"
I could feel my breath begin to falter again. "How... I don't know what your talking about." I said.
Carlos smiled a sad smile. "Yes you do." He reached up to his neck and pulled at a small necklace that had been hidden under his shirt. It was the white gem.
My eyes went wide. Everything made sense. I had made a major mistake in leaving that necklace with him, and now had to deal with the consequences. "You know how the necklace works." I stated.
He nodded, but before I was able to say anything else, he started to talk again. "I-I've known what it is for a while. When I first studied it in the science lab I quickly realized it was magic. After that it wasn't that hard to look it up on the Internet. I found an old legend about two necklaces that got lost in Wonderland, I figured that these had to be it. After that I debated giving it back to you but I got curious... I wanted to know why you had them... And about you I guess. I didn't figure out how they worked until I received a memory from you. It happened while I was sleeping one night. Then..." He kept talking. I quit listening. I was too busy trying to decide if I should panic or not. More than that, he had seen my memory, and I knew which one it was. It was my seventh birthday memory. I had dreamt it, and so had he.
"Carlos." I said, interrupting his rambling. "What exactly do you want?"
He stared at me wide eyed. "I wanted to know why... And hopefully talk you out of it."
"That's none of your business and it's my decision." I snapped
"Isn't it my business though? It's not like you haven't been reading my mind for the past two weeks either. Plus- I don't believe you really want to do it." He said.
"What? You barely know me! You don't understand why I have to do this. Tell me where my ax is!"
"Look I might not understand why you think you have to do this but I do understand what it's like to come from a villains world. You saw my memory- I dreamt it too."
"Your memory... Is that why you where gone for most of the week?" I asked.
Carlos hesitated. "I don't handle the past very well."
I opened my mouth to respond, but I wasn't sure what to say. In truth I felt kind of sorry for him. I knew what he meant about not handling the past well. I still couldn't understand what he wanted from me though. Why did I want to kill the king? I don't know, it was what I was supposed to do wasn't it? I was supposed to do what my mom wanted right? I'm a hopeless cause. There was no "talking me down".
"Your mom... She asked you to do it?" Carlos said hesitantly. Suddenly my face turned bright red and I began to blush furiously.
"Stop reading my thoughts!" I screamed, before finally taking a step forward. I was tired of being trapped in that closet, but Carlos refused to move from his spot in the doorway.
"I'm not letting you go through with this." He stated boldly. My temper began to rise.
"It's none of your business." I said back.
"It's all of my business! If you go through with this it will have major consequences on Auradon, not to mention how morally wrong it is. Your talking about ending someone's life here."
"I know what I'm doing." I stated plainly.
"Do you?" He asked. Didn't I? I didn't bother responding him.
"Come on I know you'd be lying if you told me that you haven't enjoyed yourself in Auradon for the past two weeks. I was like you too when I first got here! We had a plan and everything...but then we realized how much better it was here. This freedom that we have here, this happiness, we never had that back on the island, and from what I understand Wasteland is no better. You don't have to be a villain. Let me help you." He said holding out his hand for me. I looked at it confused.
Help me with what? What's done is done, I can't change who I am.
"Yes you can." He said.
I shook my head. My eyes where starting to cloud over. "There's no helping me. Go away Carlos. Don't get yourself involved with this."
I'm not leaving, I heard him think.
"Let me stay." He said aloud. "We can talk about this. We don't have to go back to that party or anything... Let's just..." He was desperate to make me stay. He knew a terrible secret about what I was trying to do, and he was trying so hard to prevent it. If I went through with this right now it would destroy everything. There would be no more living peacefully in Auradon, no more freedom. He would probably have to go back to his painful life of living with Cruella. But even though he was in the middle of trying to stop me from killing his King, he was still worried about me, and that's what I couldn't understand. Why did he care? Was it because I was a villain like he was? All I wanted was to get the job over with. To be done with Auradon, be done with my mother, and yet this odd guy dressed in a Dalmatian costume stood in my way. I didn't get it.
Carlos was still staring at me, his expression nervous. Maybe I could wait a little longer to finish the job. I wanted to understand him. I wanted to know what he meant about having a choice between villain and not. I wanted to know why even now, he wanted to help me instead of turn me in.
"Ok," I said. "I'll stay here with you."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sorry about the late chapter! Comments are Appreciated!