Stan was watching Mary after they left the hospital. Mary and Marshall were still having issues, but it didn't surprise him. Faber was the final straw, but they'd been pulling apart since her engagement. Eleanor had mentioned a fight between the two when he was at the conference. They hadn't really ever returned to normal after that. Stan had hoped her shooting would fix it all, but there was underlying tension even after that.
"What happened?" Stan finally asked.
"I'm not sure that I can fix Marshall and me," Mary whispered.
"You lost his trust somewhere along the way. I have an idea where, but I don't know how or why. You also pushed Marshall away after your engagement. You're not blind and you know how he feels about you. Going to Faber was like rubbing salt into an open wound. The problem is you weren't expecting things to change. How long do you think he was just going to sit around waiting for scraps from the table? He's not a pet, Mary. You do what you want with no regards to Marshall's feelings and expect him to be there to pick up the pieces, just so you can turn around and do it to him again. He has a right to not want anything at all from you. The fact that he's still willing to be your partner means you've got a chance to fix all of this. You're going to have to put effort into it or lose Marshall. You need Marshall more than you care to admit, but your fear of losing him is going to cost you. Take it from a man who's learned the hard way, if you don't do something about it, the best thing that ever happened to you could walk right out of your life," Stan said.
"What if I can't be who he wants me to be?" Mary asked.
"Marshall isn't asking for an overhaul, all he wants is for you to treat him with respect. That shouldn't be hard since he's more than earned it," Stan replied.
"If I didn't know any better I'd think you're encouraging us to get together," Mary said.
"I am. He loves you and you love him. You're just too damn scared to admit it. He won't wait forever. Marshall has goals in life. He wants a wife, and possibly kids. While I know children scare you, I've seen the way you look at your partner when he's holding a baby. You're imagining him holding one of yours. Don't deny it either. I've seen that look before and I've looked at someone that way before. I'm older Mary, but I'm not blind. WITSEC has no official rules that say partners can't be together. It's not encouraged but it's not forbidden. While the two of you are separated, take the time to think about what you want and who you want it with. Then figure out how you can make that happen. I'm done preaching now, you can return to ignoring me," Stan said.
Mary smirked a little at Stan's ending. She never thought she'd hear him encourage a relationship between her and Marshall. The question came back to her. What did she want and what was she willing to do to get it. Staring out the window of the plane, she let her mind drift to relationships she'd seen work and those that had failed. She then focused on her own disappointments with relationships and what she wanted for herself.
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Rachel came by to visit Marshall to find his room empty. She headed to the nurse's station to see where he was when she spotted him walking down the hall.
"Hi, Mom," Marshall said, as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.
"You're looking much better," Rachel said, smiling.
Marshall climbed back into the bed. He knew what his Mom was going to ask at some point today, and knew she wouldn't like his reply.
"The doctor seems to agree with you," Marshall shrugged.
"How do you feel?"
"I'm feeling a lot better. I know that I haven't been pleasant to be around lately and I'm sorry about that," Marshall said, nervously.
Rachel looked at her son, reaching out she squeezed his hand. "What are you trying to avoid? There's obviously something that you want to discuss, but you think I'm not going to like what you have to say. You were never good at lying. So let's get the topic over with."
"I know that when I get released from here, you were hoping that I would stay with you and Dad. I'm not ready to do that yet. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I need to work things out and with everyone around, I'm not sure I can," Marshall said.
"I freely admit I was hoping that you'd stay with us, but I understand. Are you heading back to Albuquerque or are you going to stay in a hotel near here? What about the psychologist that you're seeing?" Rachel was worried he'd stop seeing one.
"Neither at first. I need some time alone to put things together for me. I promise I won't drink like I did at Christmas. I've gotten a recommendation from the psychologist here for someone in several locations," Marshall reassured.
"When you're ready to see us, I want to know so that we can fly out and see you. I also expect my usual phone calls," Rachel said, kissing Marshall's forehead and wishing she could comfort him like she did when he was little.
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Marshall had been back in Albuquerque for two days after spending a week in Virginia. He still hadn't talked to Stan to let him know he'd returned. Finally pulling out his laptop he began to write up his report. He knew that it was past overdue and should be turned in.
Marshall had just hit the send button when he heard his front door opening. Heading into his bedroom he grabbed his Glock and made his way towards the living room. Quietly moving to the front room he heard a noise in the kitchen. Turning towards the sound he entered the kitchen just as Mary turned around with a pitcher full of water. She dropped the pitcher and went for her gun, but realized who she was looking at.
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Mary asked, trying to clam her breathing.
"What are you doing here?"
"Watering your damn plants, so they don't die. I remembered you said something about every two days," Mary replied. "When did you get back?"
"A couple of nights ago," Marshall said. "Since when did you start caring about my plants?"
Mary shrugged in response. She was scared to answer, afraid he was angry that she was in his house.
"I should get going, unless you need something," Mary said.
"I'm good. I sent my report off to Stan. How are my witnesses?" Marshall asked.
"Same as always, well with the exception of Louisa. I think she's going deaf. She didn't answer any of my questions. Just looked through me like I wasn't there. It was kind of creepy," Mary said, reflectively.
"Bring her a cupcake or something sweet next time. She'll open up once she has sugar," Marshall suggested.
"You bribe your witness to talk?" Mary asked, amused.
"Louisa is a loner. She's not comfortable around people, but for some reason if you give her something sweet she will talk," Marshall shrugged.
"How are you feeling?" Mary wanted to talk about them, but wasn't sure where to start.
"Better."
"I started talking to Shelley," Mary blurted out, gasping for something for them to talk about and hoping it would get easier.
"That's good."
"Are you seeing her, too?"
"No, I arranged to speak with someone else. I wasn't comfortable talking with Shelley," Marshall replied.
Mary nodded in understanding.
Marshall could see the insecurity in the way Mary was biting her lip and not looking at him directly when she thought he was looking at her.
"Mary, I know that we need to talk and work things out, at the very least so that we can stay partners. I'm not ready to talk to you yet."
"But, you will talk to me at some point, right Marshall? I know that you have a lot to work out where I'm concerned, and I've been trying to work things out on my end. Shelley mentioned at some point the two of us are going to have to hash over things. I don't want to pressure you. I want to do what you need for a change. I'm trying to fix things, but I know that I can't do it alone."
"When I first started working with Stan, he mentioned every partnership hits a rough patch. Maybe this is ours. I'll talk to you again, but right now I need space from you to sort things out. I appreciate you taking care of my plants while I was gone."
"I'll see you later. Anything you need me to tell Stan?"
"I'm sure he'll call when he gets my report," Marshall said.
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Three weeks later Marshall was back in the office on desk duty. Stan had wanted him to take more time off, but since Marshall kept checking his e-mail and calling his witnesses on his cell phone, he figured it was easier to have Marshall where he could keep an eye on him.
"Mary, Charlie," Stan called from his office.
Marshall watched as the two entered. He was tired of being stuck to a desk even though he knew he was still healing. His phone rang before his curiosity could get the better of him.
"Inspector Mann."
"Marshall, honey" Rachel said.
"Hi, Mom."
"Dad and I wanted to fly out for a week or two to see you. I wanted to make sure it was okay."
"It's fine. I'm working, but on desk duty."
"Bored already," Rachel smiled, knowingly.
"Just prefer to mix things up a little," Marshall said.
"We'll be flying in tomorrow night." Rachel had wanted to leave today, but Seth figured a little advanced warning would be nice.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Do you need me to pick you up at the airport?" Marshall asked.
"No, we're renting a car so we can run errands while you're working. We'll see you tomorrow. Love you, Marshall."
"Love you too, Mom," Marshall replied, as he watched Charlie and Mary come out of Stan's office.
"How's Mom?" Mary asked, hearing the tail end of his conversation.
"Good, arriving tomorrow with Dad."
"What's going on?" Marshall tilted his head towards Stan's door.
"Witness transport. Charlie and I are relocating the Ashley's. Marion's old boyfriend moved to town and they ran into each other. The D.O.J. wants them moved as a precautionary measure," Mary shrugged.
"Are you leaving now?" Marshall asked, feeling his gut tightening in response to Mary going without him.
"In about four hours," Mary said, looking at him with concern. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Marshall said, defensively.
Mary stared at him strangely as he got up and headed into Stan's office.
Marshall knocked on Stan's door before being waved in.
"Is there something that I can help you with Marshall?" Stan asked, wishing with all his might that Marshall would return to his old self.
"Not to question your judgment; but do you really think sending Charlie with Mary is a wise choice?" Marshall asked.
"Mary will be fine, Marshall," Stan replied, secretly pleased that Marshall showed some interest in Mary's well being.
"It wasn't Mary that I was concerned about," Marshall replied, before starting to turn and leave.
Stan silently cursed. He had hoped that they had just taken a step forward.
"What concerns do you have about Charlie going with Mary?"
"You really need to ask?" Marshall replied back harsher than he had intended.
"Humor me, Marshall. Tell me what concerns you have about this arrangement," Stan replied, hoping it might shed some light on Mary and Marshall's problems.
Marshall stepped over and closed the door before starting. He didn't really want to say something to get Mary in trouble, but sending in someone as green with Mary as Charlie was putting both of their lives at risk.
"Mary has a blatant disregard for protocol. Charlie is green, Stan. He's not going to know how to react when Mary throws away the play book if something goes wrong. Mary can also go in and aggravate a situation and Charlie wouldn't even begin to know how to diffuse the situation. He's going to follow Mary's lead and we both know what happens when things go bad, she runs purely on instinct which works fine when you have a veteran out with her. A rookie isn't going to know what to do," Marshall replied, leaving off a few of the other things that Mary may consider doing when the case is over and she needs to blow off steam that has on a couple of occasions nearly gotten her in trouble. Luckily he knew how to smooth things over.
"What do you suggest that I do?" Stan asked, curious to see what else Marshall had to say. He was holding back and Stan wasn't sure why.
"Send her with a veteran or go with her yourself. Charlie needs to learn the skills and reactions before you send him into a dangerous situation with Mary," Marshall replied, shrugging.
"I don't have a veteran available and you're still on medical leave."
"Then I suggest you borrow a go bag or pack yours. It's not fair to send Charlie out there without knowing what to do. I realize that part of the training comes from the job, but that training should come from someone who knows how to patiently train someone."
"Anything else, Marshall?"
"If I finish up my paperwork, would you mind if I headed out a little early? My parents are coming in and I want to make sure everything is up to their expectations."
"You can leave early even if you don't finish your paperwork. I know that it will be done in a timely manner, but Marshall, do us all a favor and stop putting pressure on yourself to be what you think it is that we all want you to be," Stan replied, exasperated at his inspector for thinking his parents would judge him by his house. He'd been there enough to know Marshall always kept it neat and Stan also knew by his parents he meant Seth.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Stan."
"When you left your parents at Christmas and took off to Vegas, you told me you were tired of not being good enough. Do you even realize the reason you just gave me for leaving early reiterates the fact that you're still feeling like you won't measure up to your Dad's standards?"
Marshall had to stop and think about what he said.
"The only thing any of us wants is for you to be happy and for once in your life to stop shooting yourself down. I'm probably stepping over the line with this next statement and it's not meant to be hurtful or taken the wrong way, but Marshall, sometimes I think you take some of the things being said or done out of context. Your home is always neat and I really don't think your parents are coming to judge your house. They want to see you and make sure that you're still doing okay. We're all still worried about you. We miss the Marshall we knew. I'm not saying that we don't need to change the way we treat you or anything, but I hope that some day that silly grin and laughter that used to come from you returns to this office. I don't have a timeframe in mind, but I would like to think that deep down you remember how to be happy."
"Yes, sir," Marshall said, before getting up and heading back to his desk.
Stan watched as Marshall left the room. He had thought Mary and Marshall had made steps forward, but it seemed for every little improvement they made; they ended up two steps behind. Stan also had to take into account what Marshall said about Charlie going with Mary. He had some valid points. There was also something that Marshall wasn't saying and he had a feeling that it was something he didn't want to hear. Stan was going to need to talk to her before she left today. From there, he'd make up his mind about what to do with the transfer.
Marshall returned to his seat to see Mary casting glances his way. He didn't really want to make the comments to Stan about Mary and Charlie going on a transfer, but he couldn't live with himself if one or both of them got hurt. Marshall went back into typing up paperwork for the next two hours before getting it all done. Shutting down his computer he got up and collected his keys.
"Where are you going?" Mary asked.
"Home. Mom and Dad are coming tomorrow."
"Are you okay with that?"
"We'll find out. Good luck with the transfer," Marshall replied, before heading towards the elevator.
Mary watched him go before heading into Stan's office.
Stan looked up. "Shut the door, Mary."
Mary shrugged, shut the door and sat in the chair.
"Now what's wrong with Marshall? Are his parents coming here going to help or make things worse?"
"Mary, we need to talk and not about Marshall. Your partner will be fine, I think, as long as his mother is there."
"So what's the problem?" Mary asked confused.
"There has been some concern brought to my attention about you going alone with Charlie on this assignment."
"Marshall's worried about me?" Mary asked. This could be a turning point.
Stan knew she had been thinking the same thing that he had by the small smirk on her face.
"Unfortunately, no. He's more concerned about Charlie's safety with you out in the field. Some of the points he made are very good ones."
"So what Marshall decides to have a melt down and you're questioning my skills?" Mary asked, heatedly.
"Marshall did not have a melt down, Mary. What he had was enough of all of us and the way we treat him. The fact that he has concerns about you taking Charlie on this assignment is enough to make me wonder what exactly he isn't telling me."
"What exactly did he say?" Mary asked, wondering how much damage control there would need to be.
"The things I already knew. The facts are that you have a blatant disregard for following the rules. Marshall and I at least know how you think. Marshall more than me, but we both know how to respond to your actions. Charlie would get eaten alive out there if you go off the book or decide to start something. My problem is that there was something Marshall wasn't telling me and I have a feeling that I need to know. So what did he leave out?" Stan demanded.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Mary said, knowing she couldn't tell Stan about the few times her need to blow off steam almost got her in trouble. Marshall had always made sure to keep her out of trouble.
Stan saw that Mary was lying to him.
"Well, then Charlie and I will be transferring the witness. I won't send Charlie out with you until I know the truth. He needs a role model that he can look up to and depend on to follow the rules. Take the rest of the day off and think about all of this. When Charlie and I get back, you and I are going to finish this conversation. "
Mary bit her cheek so she didn't say anything. She was torn on how to react to all of this. In one sense she was pissed at Marshall for telling Stan that she couldn't handle a rookie, and on the other hand she was relieved he hadn't told their boss about some of the problems she got them into. Unfortunately, Stan knew them both well enough see that he wasn't getting the whole picture.
"Fine," Mary snapped irritably, getting up to leave Stan's office.
"Do not stop by Marshall's house along the way to start something and that is an order. He did what he thought was in the best interest of this office."
"Then why does it feel like he stabbed me in the back?" Mary asked, not expecting an answer.
"I don't know. How many times have you put your needs before Marshall's or that of another inspector in order to benefit you in some way? How often have you needlessly endangered your partner while on an assignment?" Stan knew it was a cheap shot, but it was necessary to get Mary to realize that there our consequences to her actions.
Mary didn't reply. She headed towards her desk to grab her keys before leaving.
Stan watched Mary get on the elevator and briefly wondered if there was any hope in salvaging her and Marshall's partnership. If this kept up they would be tearing each other apart and nothing would be left. Stan knew that what he did this time was right. The only bit of hope he had was Marshall didn't tell him what Mary had done, but it was obviously going to need to be addressed. He had a feeling things were going to get worse before or if they every got better.
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Mary had stopped at Marshall's deciding to ignore Stan's warning. Marshall had damn well better talk to her. He had the information that could end her career.
Parking in Marshall's driveway, she took a deep breath before getting out of the car and heading towards the door. Not feeling comfortable with just walking in anymore, she rang the doorbell.
Marshall heard the doorbell and hoped it wasn't his parents. He still needed to straighten the house up a little more. Yet every time he started to he could hear Stan's voice in his head telling him that his Dad really just wanted to see him. If he left the place as it was he could test that theory. The problem was he wasn't sure he could deal with the outcome.
"Coming," Marshall yelled, when he heard the doorbell again. Opening the door he was surprised to see Mary standing there. "I thought you were leaving."
"So did I, until Stan benched me. Are you trying to get me fired? Is that what you're talk to him was about?" Mary asked, heatedly.
"No, what I was trying to do is make sure Charlie and you come home alive. He's green and you know it. The crap that you can pull on a job without him knowing how to respond could get him or you killed. The problem is you don't think before you act and unlike those of us who've learn to adapt to you and your ways, Charlie doesn't have that skill and learning on the fly with you as a teacher, will have us attending at least one funeral."
"You really think that little of me?"
"Mary, you can ignore the facts like you usually do or you can step up to the plate and admit that you throw caution into the wind at a moment's notice if you think it will work. The problem is you can't take a rookie out in the field and expect them to know that. You're not even going to give that consideration when you go by the seat of your pants. I told Stan that he needed to send a veteran or himself with you. I never told him to bench you. This more than likely means that he asked you a question and you lied to him. Stan knows us both enough to know when we're covering for one another or one of us is lying. You want to blame someone for getting benched, look in the mirror."
Mary stared at Marshall and for the first time she began to wonder exactly what he thought of her. It had never mattered to her before what someone else thought, but Marshall mattered. This whole mess needed to be resolved She promised to confess every sin if it meant fixing this, but slipped into an old familiar pattern instead.
"Screw you, Marshall. Just because you're incapable of thinking outside of the box, doesn't mean it's a bad thing. How many times has it helped us out? Step up to the plate? When are you going to? You're not good enough for the old man so you decide to take it out on me. It's no wonder your Dad expects you to fail at this job," Mary yelled, defensively.
Marshall felt himself recoil at the words. The self doubt returning, but he refused to back down. He was tired of Mary's one way street.
"How many times have you damn near gotten us killed with one of your scatterbrained ideas? Some of them work, but how many have backfired? When are you going to tell Stan about the times you jeopardized yourself in order to get laid while we are out of town? How about the time you told Raph what we do for a living? I may never be good enough for any of you, but I sure as hell never endangered the job or the witnesses to get an itch scratched. The fact of the matter is Raph was your boy toy. You may have cared about him, but you were never in love with him. You hung Raph out to dry and pretended to love the man when you don't have a clue what love is. You wanted a chance at normal so you latched onto him and assumed that you'd find out what it was like to be in a real relationship. The only thing that will ever give you a shot at normal is if you start dealing with your abandonment issues. Everything is always about you and as long as you get what you want or think you want, you don't give a damn about who you hurt along the way.
Brandi wasn't wrong in that argument about you making everything about you. It's exactly the truth and that is why you were so mad at her. The only problem is that it's not just about you. The Shannon family has an unusual knack for bringing everyone else involved in their lives into the family drama. How much of the Government's money have you wasted on your family? You're still trying to prove to the world that you won't fail or be like your Father. You wear his abandonment as a shield and use it as an excuse for your behavior. I'm tired of your excuses. It's time for you to grow up, Mary. You need to accept the past and learn to move on from it instead of clinging to it."
"Up yours, Marshall," Mary replied, heading towards the door.
"That's right, Mary. Run like you always do. It's the one thing that you're good at," Marshall said, right before she slammed the door behind her.
Marshall heard the car sputter to life and the screech of the tires as she left his house. His words had been uncharacteristically cruel. The words were that of a bitter man and he didn't want to become that. Now he doubted they could even be partners. Picking up his cell he dialed Stan.
"McQueen."
"Stan, this is Marshall. When you return from the transfer, we're going to need to talk about my transferring out of Albuquerque. I can't stay here or there will be nothing left of me."
"What are you talking about?" Stan asked, his concern growing.
"I can't do this anymore. Not here and not near my family. It's time for me to go somewhere that I can breathe. I'm going to look at the openings and we can discuss where would be the best place for me."
"The best place for you is here, Marshall. You and I both know that you're set up to take over for me when I retire."
"I won't last that long."
"Marshall, what about switching partners? You can train Charlie the right way and I'll get Mary a different partner. Think about it before you do anything rash," Stan replied. Mary must have stopped by and made things worse. He should've known she wouldn't listen to him.
"I want to get away from here, Stan. You said I put everyone else's needs before mine. Well, this is what I need to do. I need to get away from all of you."
"We'll talk when I get back, but I won't sign any of the papers until we discuss this thoroughly."
"Fine," Marshall replied, hanging up.