Chapter 07: The fall
Morning came and Victoria had not slept a wink since Elizabeth came to her last night. Her heart feels heavy as lead as she studied herself in the tall gilded mirror sitting across her bed. Her father had given her a new dress to wear for today's events; a brilliant parisian blue that is all the rage in Paris, or so she was told by her father. It was indeed very beautiful and grand, the bodice embroidered with gold thread and cream colored pearls, the scandalously low neckline trimmed with lace, and the wide silky skirt dragged on with an extravagant train. It came with a pair of brocaded silk high-heeled slippers too. Victoria thought it looked ridiculously grand for a day event, but she did not want to seem ungrateful to her doting father, and held her tongue from speaking uncharitably.
It was incredibly hot that day and the tightness of her corset did not help to alleviate her discomfort much to her annoyance, she could barely take in half a breath for heavens sake. Victoria sighed, tucking the gold medallion between her breasts to keep it from view. Elizabeth had given it to her last night as a peace offering.
"I want you to have this." Elizabeth unclasped the long chain hanging from her swanlike neck, revealing a gold coin engraved with the menacing face of a skull. "It is my most precious possession, and I am giving it to you, as a peace offering, if you will."
Victoria stared at the beautiful coin, amazed by its details and its solid weight in the palm of her hand. "Where did you get this, Elizabeth?"
"It does not matter where I got it, it is yours now. Keep it safe, will you?" Victoria nodded slowly, allowing Elizabeth to put it on for her.
"Thank you, Elizabeth."
"Miss, the governor be askin' if ye be ready ta be leavin' miss?" Estrella appeared by the door. Well, there was no stopping it now, she must face James sooner or later.
"Yes, I'm ready." Victoria exited her room, sighing as deeply as her confining stays would allow her. As she descended the grand staircase she heard Will's voice.
"At least once more, as always, Miss Swan." She did not see Elizabeth's expression but knew well enough that it was not a good one. She always did hate how Will never called her by her name.
The carriage ride to Fort Charles was long and bumpy, but apparently not long enough as Victoria soon found herself engaged in the mindless chatter often acquainted with the more gentile crowds of society women. It was stifling and exhausting; the forced smiles and air of politeness that must be executed for the sake of propriety unnerved her even more than usual today. The weather was not particularly forgiving too, the heat urging her to rip off the bloody dress she was wearing, heedlessly of how wonderful it was.
The ceremony began with much grandeur and pomp as Commodore James Norrington went up to receive his commission, twirling the ceremonial sword with as much swagger one could possibly muster without seeming arrogant. He was so handsome, Victoria thought almost grudgingly. The newly tailored uniform he wore, made especially for today's ceremony made him look absolutely delectable, Victoria refrained from rolling her eyes skyward as almost every eligible young woman -some not so eligible and young- swooned over him.
The sweltering heat made her long for her fan, her fingers itched to feel the smooth ebony wood. After the ceremony, the celebration party began, the orchestra playing merrily in the background as people mingled. Polite pleasantries were exchanged and many well wishers congratulated the newly appointed Commodore.
"Miss Swan, may I have a moment?" Victoria looked up at the handsome Commodore, halting her airy conversation with a very animated Miss Lamont.
"Of course Commodore." She replied politely, excusing herself from Miss Lamont.
"Shall we?" James offered her his arm.
Hesitantly, she hooked an arm around his, letting him lead her to a more secluded area, by the alcoves of the pavilion. "Congratulations on your promotion Commodore Norrington. I'm sure your family back in England must be very proud."
James gazed at her with a small smile, he had told her many times about his mother and sisters, his older brother and his father who had once been an admiral in the British Royal Navy. "Yes, my mother had written to me as soon as word got to England of my promotion." They walked leisurely, the sun shining brightly over Victoria's raven black hair. "Although she is quite happy of my achievements, this promotion throws into sharp relief that which I am yet to accomplish, or so my mother says, a marriage to a fine woman."
Victoria visibly stiffened, her back ramrod straight and her chest heaving against the tight confines of her bodice. James could not help but let his gaze wander over to her scandalously low neckline, her creamy bosom almost overspilling from the lace trim. Color seemed to rush from his neck to his cheeks as he quickly averted his eyes, feeling like a complete cad. Well he was no saint for sure, but he'd rather he did not ogle the woman whose heart he so unwittingly broken.
"Yes, well I'm certain she will be very pleased to know of your betrothal to Elizabeth, surely she will think it a smart match, Commodore." She avoided meeting his eyes. After many years of hearing stories about his family, Victoria always thought that it would be her James will someday be writing of to his dear mother, not Elizabeth.
"Yes, smart indeed." An uneasy silence settled over them.
Sighing tiredly, Victoria tried her best to focus on her breathing. She did not know what he could possibly want from her now. "Commodore, is there anything else you require of me? If not, then by your leave I would like to be excused, I am feeling rather ill, the heat does not sit too well with me."
"Victoria, I- I must make you understand my true intentions." James took her hand, and it shocked Victoria momentarily. "You must believe me, I love you!" He pulled her close to him, his other hand caressing the side of her neck, a look of desire flashing in his vibrant green eyes.
Victoria tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat. "What for James? Once you've made me understand, what then?" She asked lowly, barely a whisper. "What difference will it make when there is only one outcome to this story, and sadly enough it does not include me."
"I am bound by duty Victoria, I cannot break my word and act so recklessly. I must marry Elizabeth, it is what is expected of me, and I cannot abandon her or your father now." James spoke stiffly, breaking away from her almost as if he had been burned.
"Your duty?" James flinched at the sharpness of her tone. "You cannot abandon your duty to your word, but... what about me James? Am I that easy to leave behind?"
James whipped his head, turning towards her in the most abrupt fashion. "Easy? Did you think this was easy for me, denying my hearts greatest desire because I want to be a good man?" He took her hand once more, pulling her none too gently towards him, pressing her palm over his heart. "You insult me Victoria by saying that I can cast you aside with such ease."
"You will never choose me, will you James?" She did not want to cry, not anymore. She was angry and hurt, how could he tell her he loved her, then abandon her. "It's always your honor before anything else, even me. Because it's easier for you, to be a good man than to be selfish even just once and take what you want." Victoria shook her head. "You're a coward James!" She spat the words, her amber light eyes burning with a flame that made James want her even more.
"Yes I am a coward!" He growled, pushing her against a wall, away from the party. "I was scared, scared of you, of possessing you because I knew that I'll never be worthy of you!" Victoria could feel her pulse hammering against her ears. "I wanted to be a good man for you Victoria, but you force me to play the scoundrel, spurring me on to take so selfishly all that I deny myself!"
Before she could open her mouth to protest he had already planted his lips against her own, the force of the kiss knocking out what little air she had in her lungs. She couldn't fight him, didn't want to fight him when he pinned her harder against the cold wall, his chest flush against her own. Victoria could not help a gasp when he bit her lower lip, giving him the opportunity to deepen the kiss, gently stroking his tongue against her own.
She felt scandalized and deliciously naughty as she answered his bruising kisses with just as much fervor. It was a maddening, the rush of desire coursing through her veins like liquid fire. Victoria savored the way his lips trailed a path from her jaw line to the hollow of her throat, his head dipping lower and lower before reaching the soft mound that was the tops of her breasts.
James's arms held her upright, bracing her back against the wall for support. They both felt dizzy with desire, how absolutely mortifying it would be if someone were to catch them in such a compromising position, utterly scandalous! Victoria moaned, cursing herself inwardly at how wanton she sounded. James did not seem to mind though, rather it encouraged him to kiss her again and again and again and again.
"Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted, that I lose myself in you?" James spoke after finally regaining some semblance of control, though he did not pull away, his forehead pressed against hers, their lips still touching as he spoke. "That I ravish you like the cad I truly am?" His tone was neutral but somewhat pained.
Victoria could not believe what just transpired between them, the heat of his lips lingered and she could still taste him, the thought made her shudder in delight. "Yes." She whispered against his lips.
James groaned in pleasure as she kissed him again, taking his bottom lip between her perfectly blunt teeth and releasing him with a sound 'pop' it was beyond obscene and dirty, but somehow James reveled in it. He had not expected her to kiss him back when he first did it, but by god she will be the death of him. He wanted her so badly, how he ached to have her, fully, utterly and completely. One taste simply wasn't enough, and James realized how greedy he really was. He only wanted more and more, never satisfied, always starving for her.
The sound of passing laughter penetrated their little bubble and the moment was over. Reluctantly, James pulled away from Victoria. Letting her go was perhaps the most difficult task he has ever undertaken in his entire life. James prided himself in being a good man, but even the best of men are no match for the women they so devotedly worshipped. He risked looking into her eyes, they have gone hard as diamonds now, gone was the heat of her gaze from moments ago. "If you are still planning on proposing to my sister, then perhaps now would be the best time to do so, James."
James wondered briefly if that was to be their first and last kiss. Could he really live his entire life within a single kiss? Would it be enough to see him through a loveless marriage with Elizabeth. But James is a man of his word and he cannot abandon his honor. When the governor asked him if he was interested in marrying Elizabeth he had meant to say no, that he loved Victoria, but he has heard the rumors of their 'courtship' so has the governor. It would not bode well for Elizabeth's reputation -now that she has suddenly shown such fond interest in him, and in such a public fashion too- if he was to suddenly up and marry her younger sister, not to mention the blow it would give to Victoria's honor as well. What a mess society's expectations has made of this entire situation.
"I- Victoria, will I ever be forgiven?" He asked solemnly, his hand gripping her elbow in such a desperate manner.
After seeing the sorrow in his sea green eyes Victoria could not help but melt. She could live her entire life in sadness but she could not bare to let him shoulder the burden of her sorrows, and so she will set him free. Because love endures. And now the question that she has been repeatedly asking herself for the past few days, can she forgive him?, was finally answered. "You are forgiven James. You have broken no promises and therefore you may hold onto your honor with a clear conscience." As Victoria said those words, she felt the sharp prickle of tears stinging the back of her eyes, perhaps she did have tears to shed still. She gave James one last sad smile, before walking away without looking back. As she stood by the battlements trying to breathe through her tight corset, she brushed her fingertips over her lips, she could still feel the warmth of his kisses, and knew it will haunt her for the rest of her days.
Victoria knew that Elizabeth would reject James' offer of matrimony, but even then, she does not know if she can ever take him back if he so asks. She will not be anyone's second choice, not even James. Perhaps it was one of her many flaws, her pride, and James his blind devotion to his duty. It was rather ironic in a way, She thought, how they were like two ships in the night, only there in passing never to meet in their lifetime. The kiss, perhaps was the closest they'll ever come to being together. It was a brief meeting of souls, touching at one point, but the separation was inevitable. They're destinies were never meant to collide. Sun and moon, Victoria thought as she let out another sigh.
As she looked out at the infinite horizon stretching out to sea she felt woozy, hardly able to breathe. It would seem that gravity is pulling at her with a fierce desire to take her under. She could vaguely hear James shouting her name, calling out to her before it all turned to black.