Made it to 4,000 words! Yay! Thank you everyone for your continued support on this story! 65 reviews and only on chapter six! That's never happened before! Thank you all so very, very much! It helps me stay up until *checks clock* 2:30 in the morning on the weekends. I'm about to pass out though /is very tired. Anywho, the issues between my dad and I have settled but there's still tension so updates may be slower than usual even if I do have my own laptop. I hate it.

We are delving deeper and deeper in Lovino's and Antonio's relationship so I hope you are all satisfied with it.

Happy reading~

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

Warnings: Language, Violence

Chapter Six

April 5th—

I was certain that someone would see me in my humility. I was waiting—I was prepared. For three hours I sat underneath the tree, shivering my ass off. Luckily for me, it started raining! I haven't been able to write in this stupid journal for the entire week I stayed home from school because I had a cold sent from Hell itself. But did that excuse me from my chores and iced baths?

Fuck no, it didn't.

I still had to complete my chores on time and soak in freezing water. My time in the tub has been increased to 1 hour and 30 minutes. Don't ask why. It makes things so much simpler—and less painful. The bruises from my last beating are starting to disappear but my ribs hurt like all to be damned. Mom set up a doctor's appointment for me during the week to have x-rays done. I have two fractured ribs. It's not severe, much to Mother's and my own relief.

Father didn't beat me up as bad as he usually does while I was sick but he didn't go easy on me either. He still had to remind me who was in charge. Like I need a reminder. He rules this family with a fucking iron fist.

I was finally able to show Mr. Edelstein my song as sick as I was. He didn't say anything at first and I thought it was because he hated it. I was waiting for him to tell me to try again or that it was awful. But he didn't. I had actually rendered the uptight bastard speechless. He told me he was proud of how far I had come along and wanted me to keep playing. I told him I would.

I wonder how Antonio is doing.

I haven't seen him the entire week or even outside his house to sit in the sun. Could he have gotten sicker? What if his mom… no, stay positive. Try to, at least. Antonio wouldn't give in so easily. In just the two times we've talked to one another, I can tell he's a fighter. He wouldn't have survived this long if he wasn't.

But I do have one question: where the hell is Antonio's dad during all this? Does he not know what his wife is doing to their son? It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't. Most fathers don't know their wives are poisoning their children. A small percentage, in fact, help with the crime.

His dad wouldn't be helping, would he? Does he even know about it? There's also the possibility that he knows and chooses not to do anything about it. I can't say at the moment. The whole is bat-shit insane.

"Fratello, come on," Feliciano urged, breaking Lovino's concentration. "Mom's giving you a ride to school and we have to leave before Father wakes up for work."

Lovino hid the journal in its initial place, making sure the board was set back properly. He grabbed his backpack then and followed Feliciano to the vehicle. Felisa drove down the street as quickly as she could before Damiano discovered their absence.

Arriving at the school, the boys hopped out of the car, waving at their mother goodbye and thanking her for the ride to school.

"Have a good day. Make the best of it, all right? Love you, Feliciano. And I love you, too, Lovino," Felisa drove off.

Lovino stood there, dumbfounded. He hadn't heard his mom say those words since he was a small child. It had sewn back a little piece of his torn heart. Albeit a small piece held by a thin, fragile thread but a piece none the less. Feliciano tugged on his brother's shirt to catch his brother's attention.

"You okay, fratello?"

Lovino paused, "Yes. I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You were spacing out again. That's why I asked," Feliciano's honey eyes still shone with concern.

"Don't worry over nothing. People space out all the time," Lovino said. "Come on. Let's get going."

The brothers strolled through the crowded halls until Feliciano stopped and pointed at a certain blonde-haired and blue eyed student.

"There's Ludwig! I'll see you later, fratello!" the younger began to stray away.

"Stay out of trouble, Feli," Lovino warned.

Feliciano let out a mirthful laugh, "I could say the same to you!"

Lovino watched his brother catch up with Ludwig Bielschmidt, a transfer student from Germany, biting on the inside of his cheek with irritation. If anyone asked him, the Italian teen would say that he disliked his brother's German friend. That's on a good day. Something about the blue-eyed 13 year old just rubbed him the wrong way. But the light in Feliciano's eyes made him see differently on some days. There were few times when Lovino had seen true joy in his brother's eyes and the consistent times were when he was talking to Ludwig.

Lovino would leave them alone… for now.

Spotting Elizabeta, Bella and the new girl whose name was Lili, Lovino hurried to catch up to them. Despite them being all girls, Lovino was closest to them out of everyone he had met at this school. It was odd, really. He never imagined having just girls for friends but it was something he was content with. He had practically grown up with Elizabeta and Bella and Lili was beginning to come out of her protective little shell—something he himself had yet to do.

"Hey Lovino. Where have you been? We've been worried sick about you," Bella said, brushing back her hair with a hand.

"I was the one who was sick. I had a cold," Lovino sighed.

"That's awful. Are you feeling any better?" Elizabeta wondered.

"You're damn right I am. I'm glad to be out of that house," the Italian nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "I had to sit out in that rainstorm last weekend. That's why I got sick."

"Who made you sit out there?" Lili's shy voice barely carried over the mindless chatter of the other students in the hall.

Lovino didn't look at the petite girl, "My father did."

"Why would he do that?" her teal eyes were confused.

"I'll explain later, Lili," Elizabeta smiled. "Good to have you back, Lovino. We missed you. Oh! I brought you some food today! I was able to sneak some past my parents! And another thing: did you hear that there's a new student joining us? He's from Spain. He's a sickly little guy—looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks! His name escapes me though…"

"Antonio," Lovino said, his cheeks tinted pink at the thought of the frail teen.

"Yeah, that's right! Wait, have you already met him?" Elizabeta's eyebrows rose.

Lovino nodded, "He's my next door neighbor."

"How cool! So he'll already have a friend and won't be so lonely!" Bella grinned. "I hope he's nice."

"Yeah… he's… nice, I guess. He can talk your ear off so you guys will get along just fine," Lovino pinched the bridge of his nose.

At that moment, someone bumped into Lovino, effectively making the latter drop his books and things onto the floor. Lovino's eyes turned into a fiery emerald.

"Watch where you're going, you fucking idiot!"

"You talking to me, Vargas?" Corradeo, the renowned school tormenter and co-captain of the football team, approached Lovino.

The shorter of the two stood his ground with no hints of fear. A crowd began to gather, watching the scene unfold with eager eyes and ears. They were all cheering for Corradeo— that much Lovino knew. He wasn't exactly well-liked among his peers. They are the ones who teased him because he wasn't tall or strong. They teased him because of how poorly he was dressed or how skinny he was. They beat him up often after times his father had gotten his chance because he had resorted to stealing food from them in order to survive those terrible days of starvation.

Yup. They hated him.

But that was okay because Lovino didn't need them. He had his circle of friends he knew he could trust. Those girls would be by his side until the end. They promised. Lovino was tired of running from his fears. It was time to face them. If he could look his father in the eye, he could stare down anyone.

"I suggest you fix your attitude, Vargas, because you're about to be in a world of trouble," Corradeo looked down his nose at Lovino, sneering.

"Bite me," Lovino spat.

The taller Italian's eyebrow twitched in annoyance and he grabbed the front of Lovino's shirt, "You've got some brass balls to me talking to me like that, Vargas."

"At least I have some," Lovino retorted with a smirk.

There was a spark of fire in Corradeo's eyes, showing that the eldest Vargas son had indeed struck a nerve. The crowd surrounding them had become unbelievably quiet considering its size.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size, Corradeo?" Feliciano emerged from the mass with Ludwig close behind him. "My brother didn't do anything to you."

"You want some, too, faggot? Why don't you run back to your little boyfriend over there?" Corradeo already had his fist drawn back in a punch meant for Lovino.

Feliciano's eyes narrowed, displaying a temper most didn't know the 12 year old harbored. The blonde German behind him placed his hand on his shoulder to calm his friend.

"Easy, Feli," Ludwig said.

"Stay out of this, Feliciano!" Lovino ordered, glaring at his younger brother. "Get to class!"

"No," Feliciano retorted, his eyes as hard as amber itself.

"I'll deal with you later, then," Corradeo turned his attention back to Lovino.

"You lay one hand on him and I'll fucking beat the shit out of you," Lovino snarled.

"Sticking up for your little brother, now are we? Why when he hasn't even defended you against your father?" the taller smiled darkly.

The Vargas brothers were silent, drowning out the cheers of the other students to get the fight on already. They wanted to see Corradeo beat Lovino to a pulp and they were getting bored.

"You know what, punk, you've crossed the line! Let him go right now or your next period is coming out of your mouth!" Elizabeta pried Lovino from the teen's strong grip.

"Elizabeta, calm down," Bella tried to call her friend back.

"You do realize I don't have a problem hitting girls either, right?" Corradeo smirked.

"Elizabeta, get back. This is my problem and I'm going to fix it," Lovino warned.

"Not while he's the one who started it," the Hungarian girl never took her eyes off their assailant. "He has no reason to do this, Lovino."

"I suggest you guys go on and get out of here. I just saw the principal on my way over here and he doesn't look happy," a familiar voice stood out from the crowd and Lovino didn't need to turn around to picture their face in his mind.

Antonio slid in front of Lovino and Elizabeta, holding his hands up in a placating gesture and maintaining a genuine smile. At 15 years old, Antonio was at the same height as Corradeo and there was the darkness of intimidation in the latter's eyes.

There's no way Antonio is strong enough to hold his own against this guy! It's a mismatch! Lovino thought with unrealized worry.

"You might want to get a move on before you lose your spot as co-captain of the football team," Antonio kept his smile.

"What can you do, new kid? You're nothing," Corradeo was still very intimidated.

"Me? Oh, I can't do anything but I believe your father can. He's the head principal of this school, yes? Wouldn't want to have any trouble with daddy, now do we?" Antonio's smile took a sarcastic and demeaning shift, something Lovino had never thought was possible for the chipper Spaniard.

The crowd dispersed like a colony of agitated ants, some standing by their lockers as if nothing was wrong and others hauling themselves to class or down the hall. Feliciano and Ludwig lingered, however. Corradeo was one of the last to go, glaring Antonio down with his coffee eyes. The moment he was out of earshot, Antonio turned to the three girls and his next door neighbor, a goofy grin planted firmly on his face.

"Hey Lovino. How are you doing today?" the Spaniard asked.

"You idiot! You could've gotten the shit beat out of you back there! He's twice as big as you are!" Lovino reprimanded, obviously just a little flustered that his friends would stick their necks out for him like that.

"A sharp mind beats big muscle, Lovino~," Antonio tapped at his head and laughed. "The principal isn't even coming. I just told him that to get him away from you."

The six students listening stood in shock as Antonio laughed lightly.

"You're still an idiot…" Lovino grumbled.

"Yeah, I know," the Spaniard then brought his attention to the three girls, his grin staying. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't even introduce myself. How rude of me. I'm Antonio Carriedo."

The three girls introduced themselves in return, immediately considering Antonio part of their group now. They soon began a conversation with him since class didn't start for another ten minutes or so. Lovino, on the other hand, spun on his heel and confronted his younger brother and the latter didn't break eye contact.

"Feliciano, how many times have I told you not to get involved with my problems?" Lovino sighed.

"And how many times have I told you to stay out of trouble?" Feliciano said with a huff.

"My business is my own. I don't want you getting hurt," Lovino crossed his arms.

"Do you enjoy getting the hell beaten out of you, Lovino?" Feliciano's voice rose in volume. "You know what would've happened to you the moment you walked through the front door if you had gotten in a fight with that guy!"

"You're right—I'm well aware of the consequences. You're acting as if I'm starting it, Feli!" Lovino's temper was flaring, combatting with Feliciano's.

"You could've just picked up your stuff and went on about your day but you just had to call the guy out, didn't you!" Feliciano's cheeks were turning a light shade of red.

"He did that shit on purpose, Feliciano! You know that!"

"For once, calm down and think about what you're saying before acting! It'll save you a hell of a lot more trouble than what you're used to!" Feliciano grabbed Ludwig's hand and stormed down the hall, fuming.

Lovino sighed and returned to the group who watched him with careful eyes. Paying no mind to them, Lovino held out his hand to Antonio with a bashful expression.

"I assume you'll need help in finding your classes, right?"

"Oh that's right! I almost forgot!" Antonio dug in his pocket and handed the flimsy piece of paper which was the Spaniard's schedule.

Lovino scanned it, surprised to find that most of these classes were for someone of the lower secondary school which was only for students of the ages 11 through 14. But Antonio was 15. Why in the world was he a grade behind his peers?

"Why the hell are you in our class when you're a year older than us?" Lovino couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Oh, I don't know. My mom made those decisions. I had nothing to do with them," Antonio shrugged.

Satisfied with that, Lovino began to drift away from the group, "We'd better get going so you can make it on time. And pay attention to where we're going! I can't keep leading you every day of the week!"

"You got it, Lovi!" Antonio gave the thumbs-up.

"It's Lovino, you asshole!" the Italian growled.

Bella and Elizabeta laughed and wiggled their eyebrows suggestively at Lovino, hinting at the apparent chemistry between the two. More than a little agitated, Lovino grabbed Antonio by his hand and dragged the latter to where they were supposed to be going. A strong electric current shot up Lovino's arm and the Italian wanted to pull away but… he liked it. He enjoyed that feeling.

"See you two at lunch!" Elizabeta waved before they also made their way to class.

"Umm, Lovino…" Antonio was blushing madly at the fact that the Italian was still holding his hand.

Upon noticing, Lovino (reluctantly) tore his hand away and the tingling where the two had made contact remained, greatly confusing the blushing duo.

"Just… try and keep up. It's easy to get lost around here," Lovino focused his attention back to the task at hand and moved forward down the hall.

Antonio did as told, committing his surroundings to memory so he wouldn't have to keep asking Lovino for help navigating the school. Lovino glanced at his hand now and then. It was the one that bore the burn from the stove. The tingling… it was still there. Why wouldn't it go away? On second thought, what did it mean?

He had never experienced that before… it was so new and intriguing.

"We're here. This is your class," Lovino pointed to the door.

Antonio nodded, memorizing the room number, "Thanks, Lovino! I'll see you after class! I hope we have one together!"

Lovino reddened considerably, "I'll come by after this class to come and get you. So don't even think about running off!"

"I won't, Lovi~ I'll be right here like you asked me to," Antonio said.

"Good. Well I'll see you later…" Lovino was about to take off when Antonio suddenly placed a hand on his shoulder. "What do you want?"

"Um, well, I know this is kind of sudden but…" Antonio fished out another slip of paper from his pocket and held it out to the Italian. "Here's my number; so call me? Maybe?"

Lovino's heart fluttered in his chest as he stared at the row of numbers. He stuffed it in his own pocket, his cheeks darkening.

"I'll see if I can. I'm a pretty busy guy," Lovino mumbled.

"Good," Antonio smiled. "Oh! Is it okay if I stop by your house for help on my homework? I've never really been good at math…"

Lovino nearly stopped breathing, "Um, I—uh, I'll have to see. I'm not sure if we have plans tonight."

"Sounds good," Antonio nodded. "I'll see you later!"

The Spaniard then disappeared into his classroom. Lovino shuffled down the hall, the piece of paper nearly burning a hole in his pocket from his sheer excitement. No! No! He wasn't excited! He wasn't excited at all!

Oh, who was he kidding?

He was fucking elated.

"I assume all your chores are done for the day?" Damiano questioned, standing at the door with Felisa and his younger brother.

"Yes sir. I completed them before I went to school this morning," Lovino nodded, staring at the floor.

"All right then. Do your homework. I expect better grades this year. Let's see if you can match Feliciano's. I doubt it but it'll be amusing to see you try," the man smirked before stepping out the front door with his wife and son in tow.

Lovino sighed in relief of his anxiety. Should he call Antonio or should he just work up enough nerve and go knock on their front door? He honestly didn't know…

He decided to sit out on the front porch and think about it there. Fresh air always managed to clear his mind when nothing else did. After making sure his parents were far enough down the street, he plopped himself down on the steps, and Lovino closed his eyes, losing himself in his thoughts.

Another piano melody came to fruition at that point and he hummed along to it, not knowing how he had already created an entire piece on a whim. He should go put this to paper before he forgot—

"Lovi!"

Opening his eyes, Lovino caught sight of Antonio waving at him from his house. Oh yeah. Lovino had almost forgotten about what Antonio had asked of him at school today. Lovino motioned for Antonio to join him on the steps and the Spanish teen was over in a flash with a folder and pencil in hand.

"I just saw your family leave. Did you not want to go with them?"

"No. I decided to sit this one out," Lovino spoke in monotone, hinting that the subject of his family was not up for discussion.

"Oh okay."

"So what do you need help with?" Lovino glanced at the folder.

"That's right! Okay, so I looked at the problems before coming over here to see if I could figure it out and I was able to with a few. This one is giving me the most trouble though," Antonio pointed to it with the tip of his pencil.

Lovino scanned the problem, coming up with the answer in a few short moments. He held his hand out for the pencil, "Here; I'll show you how to do it."

The Italian scribbled down the equation, explaining as thoroughly as he could to try and get Antonio to understand. The Spaniard nodded every few seconds to show that he was listening and absorbing all of the information like a sponge.

"So that's the answer," Lovino circled it and placed the pencil back in Antonio's hand. "Now I want you to try the next one on your own. It's exactly like number five but with different numbers."

Antonio set to work on the problem, following Lovino's instructions to the letter to try and solve this without asking for the Italian's help. Once finished, he showed the paper to his friend after circling the answer to make it easier to spot.

"Like this?"

"That's exactly right," Lovino merely glanced at the problem to know.

"All right!" Antonio cheered. "You're such a great teacher, Lovi! You're way smart, too!"

Lovino paid no mind to the nickname or compliment, "Anything else you need help with?"

"Oh yeah! I need help with number 17. I took notes on it when the teacher was giving the lecture and I tried to follow the examples but it's still not coming out right…"

"Okay, let's see…" Lovino read the problem, immediately knowing what to do. "All right, this is how it's done. Pay attention."

Antonio watched once more as Lovino showed him what to do and how he arrived at that answer. He was then given another chance to try a problem like it on his own.

The tutoring session went on like that for a while and both lost track of the time. Only when the sound of a vehicle pulling into Lovino's driveway did the Italian teen look up from his work. And upon seeing the familiar car, Lovino's heart dropped to the deep recesses of his stomach.

"Oh no…" Lovino murmured to himself in dread.

"What is it?" Antonio finally looked up and was met with the sight of Lovino's approaching family.

"What the hell is going on here?" Damiano demanded.

"Sorry, sir. My name is Antonio Carriedo," the Spaniard stood to shake his father's hand and, to Lovino's surprise, the welcoming gesture was returned.

"Oh you're the boy from next door, aren't you? The one who just moved in?" Felisa smiled.

"Yes ma'am," Antonio nodded with a smile and shook her hand as well.

"It's so nice to see you again. I'm Felisa and this is my husband, Damiano. I'm sure you've already met Lovino and Feliciano at school," the woman grinned.

"It's very nice to meet you both. Sorry to drop in uninvited. Lovino was just helping me out with my homework. He's very smart," Antonio grinned.

Lovino wanted to crawl into the deepest hole possible and never come out because the look his father was giving him screamed murder.

"He is, indeed, a smart boy," Felisa was beginning to catch on to the tense atmosphere building up.

"I suppose I'll go now. I'll see you tomorrow at school, Lovino! Thanks for the help!" Antonio disappeared into his home.

"Get up right now!" Damiano grabbed his eldest son by the arm and pushed him inside the house. "You're in deep shit."

"Antonio, have you seen Lovino? He's usually at school by now and I'm beginning to worry," Bella kept scanning the area for her friend.

"I'm sure everything's fine," Antonio smiled to disarm the girl. "He probably woke up late this morning."

"No, he never wakes up late. His father makes sure of that," Bella grumbled the last part. She then turned to the taller teen. "Please help me find him. Please!"

"All right," Antonio nodded.

"Call me and meet back here if you find him," she then merged into the group of students.

Antonio looked around, not even knowing where to begin. He randomly chose the hall to the left, dodging students and objects flying through the air. He scrutinized the back of everyone's head and face, looking for that trademark curl and beautiful forest green eyes.

The search continued like this for more than 15 minutes and now Antonio was starting to have the same feeling Bella did. Where could Lovino possibly be?

The Spaniard was about to call it quits when he noticed someone limping down the hall with dark hair and a funny little curl…

"Lovino?" Antonio headed towards that person, wanting to be certain it was him. "Lovino!"

Said person halted in the hallway, slowly turning to see who was calling him before hiding his face quickly and hobbling towards their locker.

"Lovino, wait for me!" Antonio fought through the crowd to reach the open locker the Italian was at. It was very clear that it was the Lovino they were searching for but he was acting strange. He wouldn't show his face.

Why was that?

"Hey, Lovi! Man, you nearly gave us all a heart attack because we couldn't find you! Glad to know you're okay though!" Antonio laughed off his worries but stopped when Lovino didn't reply. "You are okay, aren't you?"

"Yeah," was the reply. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I mean, you won't look at me. What's the matter?" Antonio tried to get a peek at Lovino's face, however, the Italian wasn't having it and ducked away.

"Nothing's the matter. Go to class, Antonio. I have to get going."

"Lovi, look at me. What's wrong?" Antonio asked.

Lovino glanced at the Spaniard out of the corner of a bruised eye before finally turning to face the taller teen completely.

Antonio's eyes widened.

His friend's face was marred with dark bruises and cuts. One surrounded his left eye while another nearly colored his entire right cheek. He had a busted lip and scratch marks littered his face and neck. He could only imagine what was hidden underneath the long sleeved shirt and dark pants.

"Leave me alone, Antonio."

"No, who did this to you?"

"No one. I fell. It's not your business anyway, so drop it," Lovino refused to make eye contact and started to walk away.

"Lovi—" Antonio gently grabbed at Lovino's forearm but the latter hissed in pain and tore it away, indicating that there were definitely more wounds.

"Leave me alone, Antonio. I can't talk to you anymore so just go away."

"Did your dad do this to you?" Antonio asked to where only Lovino could hear.

"No. I fell."

"These aren't the bruises of someone who fell, Lovino! I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, sure, but I know when someone is being abused!" Antonio's voice rose in volume and his sore throat made some of his words come out hoarsely.

"Do you, Antonio? Do you really? Because quite frankly, I don't think you do!" Lovino was almost shouting at this point, drawing the attention of a few people.

"What do you mean?" Antonio gazed at his friend with confusion.

"Look in the fucking mirror, Antonio. Or better yet, ask your mother," Lovino stormed off at that moment, leaving a confused Spaniard in his wake.

April 5th—

I think I'm in love. And to protect the one I love, I must disappear from his life entirely. I can't forget him though. I mean, who forgets their first love? Maybe I'm falling too hard too fast but… I can't help it. He's the one—the one I've been waiting for all my life.

I know he is.

I could never tell him that, though. He'll think me a freak and I don't think I'm ready to face rejection. I'd rather just keep it a secret because I know my feelings won't be returned.