A/N: Sorry I didn't upload last week! Exam period and all of that... Anyways, done with that and now I have ten weeks of freedom before the next semester starts :)

Lots of things happening in this chapter, I wrapped up CM's plot for season 6, and am now heading towards the end of SPN. Next chapter should involve pieces from "The Man Who Would Be King", "Let It Bleed" and "The Man Who Knew Too Much" possibly also "Meet The New Boss".

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Criminal Minds.

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be.
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.
Don't know what you're expecting of me.
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes."
Linkin Park, Numb

Sitting at the waiting longue of the hospital, I looked at my team members. We all felt so hopeless in situations like these, unable to do anything other than sit and wait for news as the doctors operated on our friend.

I remembered a conversation I had with her, just a couple of days ago, and couldn't help but feel like there was more I could have done – more I should have done to save her.

"Emily!" I called, running after her as we walked out of a meeting regarding a string of killings in DC, all connecting to a company named CWS. "Emily, stop!"

"What do you want?" she asked, looking around us to make sure none of our other team members was close enough to listen.

"I want you to stop avoiding me," I said. "We all heard what they said. Ian Doyle is the one killing those families, and I'd bet everything he's doing this to pass you a message."

"I know that's why he's doing this," she replied. "I knew from the moment I saw the tattoo."

"What are you going to do about it?" I asked.

"Whatever needs to be done," she said.

"Emily, if you do something stupid –"

"There's nothing else to do," she hissed.

"There must be!" I called. "I didn't work so hard to keep you alive just so you could die now!"

"Well, then," she sighed, "maybe you shouldn't have worked so hard. Leave me alone," she added, ignoring the shock and hurt on my features. "And don't you dare tell the team about this. As far as everybody's concerned, this conversation never happened."

"Why does that seems to be a recurring principle with you?" I questioned.

"Because that's how I can keep you all alive," she said, walking away.

I stood there, staring at her direction even after she was gone from my sight, as all I could think of is that the look she had on her face is the same look I often see in the mirror. The look of someone who doesn't expect to survive at the end of this.

She disappeared the next day, going after Doyle herself. But she had also gotten herself into an ambush, resulting in Doyle catching her and nearly killing her.

"I'd do it, you know," I told Balthazar after Hotch left the room where he and I were interrogating him. He was using his alias of Clyde Easter, but I couldn't hide the fact that I knew him.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Put a bullet between Doyle's eyes to save Emily," I replied.

"No, you won't," he said. "I made a promise to your brothers not to let you go down a road you can't get back from, and as annoying as they may be sometimes, they had a point and this falls under the category."

"He's a monster," I said. "I hunt monsters."

"And two years ago, you knew where was the line between monsters to kill and monsters to put behind bars," he retorted.

"You just said that the only way to stop him was to kill him," I reminded him.

"And since when am I a reliable source?" he questioned. "That isn't who you are, Diana. Or, at least, not who you need to be."

I very nearly did it. When we arrived to the warehouse where he planned to kill her – the warehouse where she supposedly killed his son – he heard gunshots and escaped. It took all of my willpower not to run after him, but I knew that Emily needed us more at the moment.

Seven heads darted up when JJ entered the room to give us news about Emily's condition. We all looked hopeful, praying for good news, but as all she did was slowly shake her head, the truth came upon us.

"No," Garcia whispered, disbelieving.

"She never made it out of the OR," JJ said, tears shining in her eyes.

Spencer made a move to stand up and I immediately followed, grabbing his hand in mine.

"I didn't get a chance to say goodbye," he said, and then I was holding him as we comforted each other, using the simplicity of a touch to remind us what we have as we went to a meeting.

For four days, we didn't let go.

The funeral was simple. There wasn't too much of a crowd, as Emily didn't have many people in her life. The priest spoke, and though I was certain what he said was beautiful, I couldn't for everything I have remember what it was.

We moved forwards one by one to lay flowers on the coffin, and Spence let go of my hand for the first time since we received news that Emily was dead. That night, I broke.

I dialed the number without thinking, no certainty as to whether or not it was even working, but I knew I at least had to try. It felt like ages before he picked up.

"Hello?" a voice said.

"Dean?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Diana?"

"I'm sorry it's late," I quickly said. "I just… my friend died."

"I'm sorry for your loss," he said. "And, not that I mind that you called, but… why did you call?"

"I spent the past four days being strong for my friends," I explained. "And I… I guess I just needed to know there was someone there for me, too."

"You didn't have to call me to know that," he said softly. "Me and Sammy – we're always here for you."

"Thank you," I said, tears burning at the back of my eyes.

"Do you want to come here?"

"No," I replied. "It's not time yet."

"It's been fourteen years, Dee," he sighed. "When will it be time?"

"Apparently, at the season finale," I muttered.

"And how will we know we reached the season finale?" he asked, a hint of anger to his voice.

"Something ground-shaking will most likely happen," I reasoned.

"Dee," he sighed again. "Our life is a string of one ground-shaking event after the other."

"Well, mine isn't," I retorted, seeing from the corner of my eye my apartment door open and Spencer walking in. "Thank you for being here for me," I told my brother.

"Any time." There was a short pause before he added, "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," I said. "Be careful."

"Ain't I always?" he questioned with a laugh before hanging up.

I looked up at Spencer, and he sat down next to me, pulling me into his arms with a hug. For the first time since Prentiss died, I cried.

The next couple of weeks blurred into one another.

Living from case to case, one AA meeting after another as I was trying with everything I had not to fall to pieces. As time passed, I was getting more and more reckless, charging head first into situations I should have probably stopped and thought about.

Two weeks after Prentiss' death, Hotch took me aside to talk to me about the risks I was taking. I calmed him down by saying I would be more careful from now on, and then resumed doing the same thing, avoiding him as I did.

I didn't talk to Dean since that phone call in the middle of the night after Emily's funeral, and from the little I spoke to Bobby I understood he didn't tell Sam about it.

I felt like a tear was created in the relationship I had with the older hunter since the Apocalypse, as was the case with everybody I knew during that time. Now, I was only talking to him when he needed help on cases, usually ones that concerned the boys.

"Eve?" I asked him one day over the phone. "Mother of the year. Got us all thrown out of Paradise and one of her kids killed the other. Wouldn't surprise me to find out she created the monsters."

"It wouldn't?" he asked.

"There are three main villains in the story of Paradise," I explained. "The first is the snake, commonly referred to as Satan in disguise."

"Well, Satan's currently in the cage," Bobby noted.

"And thank God for that," I retorted. "The second is Lilith – she's supposedly Adam's first wife, and we know that Sam killed her. That leaves us with Eve, who corrupted Adam into eating the Forbidden Fruit."

"I must admit," Bobby said, "I never looked at this story that way."

"Major in Religions," I said with a smile. "Anything else you need?"

Castiel dropped by every now and then. Sometimes, he spent the night but mostly he just came to give me messages about the war in Heaven, and about my brothers.

No matter where I looked, things weren't the same anymore, and all it did was cause me to act without thinking – by the way things were going, I didn't expect to survive at the end of this all.

One day, about a month after Emily died, I came one step too close to fulfilling this expectation.

The team was after a serial bomber, and after we managed to track down our Unsub, we were left with three houses he could have been hiding in. We split up, and Morgan was teamed with me.

Foolishly, I insisted we don't call for backup when we saw light in one of the rooms, and head inside instead. We tried to calm the bomber down, but all he did was smile manically at us. I saw the button in his hand a moment too late.

I jumped, pushing Derek out of the door just as the bomb exploded and we both flew outside.

Everything burned. My entire back felt as if it was on fire and I couldn't move my legs. I raised my head just enough to calm down with the fact that they were still there and that Morgan was okay before the dizziness overcame me.

"Chessi!" he called, moving closer to me and checking my injuries. He had a cut at his hairline – probably from the fall – but other than that he seemed unharmed. "Come one, Chessi, talk to me."

I opened my mouth to speak, only to be chocking on the blood that came out of it. My hand flattered at my side and he reached out, grabbing it in reassurance.

"It's okay," he said. "I need to call an ambulance…" He searched for his phone and his face twisted in horror as he realized it must have fell when we were inside the house, now exploded to pieces. "No… No! Chessi!"

It's okay, I tried to tell him as I looked into his eyes. It's okay.

His eyes widened in shock and he looked around, checking if there was anybody nearby.

"Hello?" he called out. "Is there anybody here? Help! Please, help us!"

It's no use, I told him. There's nobody here. But it's okay. A small, choked out laugh escaped my lips. Guess I won't be seeing the season finale, after all. Or ever talk to my brothers again. And Raphael… the only hope now was that Cas would still have enough fight in him to kill the bastard.

"Diana," the familiar voice said, as if summoned from my thoughts.

Derek turned to face him. "You've got to help us, man," he said. "Can I use your phone? I… she needs to get to a hospital."

"There will be no need of that," Castiel said, walking towards us.

Cas, I sent out, not even caring if Derek heard. You came.

"Of course," Castiel said, leaning next to me. "I will always come for you."

"Out of context this could sound weird," I laughed, before cringing at the slight pain I still felt. "Why didn't it work?"

"There's grace in you," Castiel muttered. "I can't heal it. The gun wouldn't work," he added, causing me to raise my head and see Morgan holding Castiel at gunpoint as the angel looked positively indifferent.

"Who are you?" my teammate questioned.

"Inaccurate," Cas noted.

"What?" Derek asked, confused.

"Your question was inaccurate," Castiel explained.

"Cas, don't," I pleaded, though I knew deep down it was time for Derek to know. After all, other than himself and Seaver, everybody knew.

Lightning flashed in the sky as the outlines of Castiel's black wings showed on the grass behind him.

"What are you?" Morgan asked, understanding his mistake.

Castiel smiled softly. "I'm an angel of the lord."

"An angel?" Morgan asked for the tenth time as we sat together in the car, driving back to the BAU. Castiel was sitting in the backseat, looking mildly bored.

"Yes," I replied, again. "An angel."

"With big, fluffy white wings and a halo?"

"The wings are black, but the halo is there," I said, looking at Cas through the review mirror. "Grown a bit since I last saw you. I understand the war is going well?"

"As well as it could," Cas confirmed.

"A war?" Derek asked.

"It's not all peachy and rainbows," I muttered.

"What else is there?" he pushed.

"I'll tell you when the rest of the team is there."

"Why?" he asked. "Why not now?"

"Because," I replied, "other than yourself and Ashley, everybody already know the basics. No," I corrected. "They know a twisted event of the basics, and I need to sort that out before explaining everything else because, trust me, there's a lot to explain."

The rest of the way to the BAU went silently.

"Let's start with the basics," I said, looking between my teammates before pausing for a moment on Strauss, who gave me a curt nod. "Everything you were afraid of as children – werewolves, vampires, the monster under the bed – it all exists. There are Shapeshifters, there are Demons, there are Angels, there is Heaven and Hell." I paused for a moment, letting the words I said hang in the air before moving on. "There was the Apocalypse."

"The Apocalypse?" Seaver asked skeptically. "I think we would have noticed, wouldn't we?"

"You did," I told her. "Species going extinct in Key West, everyone in a fifteen-man fishing crew going blind in Alaska, a teacher in New York killing sixty-six students – those were just the preparations."

"We interrogated that last case," Morgan noted. "Did you know all along we weren't going to solve it?"

"I helped when I can," I defended.

"When?"

"Last year," Castiel cut in. "Your family decided to take an unplanned vacation away from Chicago just before the big storm hit."

Derek's eyes widened. "That was you?" he asked.

"Gabriel helped," I shrugged.

"Gabe?" Hotch asked. "How didn't I know about it?"

"It's complicated," I said. "I was trying to keep you safe. If that meant hiding information, so be it."

"You lied to us," Rossi said. "What else did you hide from us?"

"The Child of Creation," Castiel said, ignoring my annoyed look. "I don't believe she had told any of you about it, though I wouldn't put it past Penelope to know."

All heads turned to Garcia. "I've kept in contact with Chuck," she shrugged. "He's a prophet retailing the tales of the Winchester brothers."

"Retailed," Derek corrected. "They're dead."

"So was I," I muttered. "Winchesters don't stay dead long."

"But you're not a Winchester," Rossi said. "You're a Chess."

"I was," I told him. "Sometimes I still am. But after discovering I have supernatural powers because I'm the one who can choose the winning side of the Apocalypse that my brothers started, things leak in."

"You chose the Angel's side, right?" Seaver asked.

"I didn't," I admitted. "But I didn't choose Lucifer's side, either."

"Why not?" Derek asked, confused.

"Because of Jennifer," Castiel said, reaching out and grabbing my hand. "In the end, it all came down to her family."

"The Angels and Demon's plan was to have Sam as Lucifer's vessel, and Dean as Michael's, and to have them fight each other," I explained. "I disagreed to it. They threatened my family – Daniel, Jenna and you guys – and I still refused."

"They killed them?" Garcia asked, her hand covering her mouth in shock.

"The other Angels were only looking for an excuse to kill Jennifer," Castiel said. "Even if she would have agreed, they would have killed her."

"Why?" Strauss asked. "Why would they kill a baby?"

"Because she was a Nephilim," Cas said.

"A what?" Hotch asked.

"The daughter of a human and an angel," I explained. "I… I cheated on Daniel with Cas. More than once. And, just before the Apocalypse started, I found out I was pregnant and somehow I just knew it wasn't Daniel's. I left Cas and stayed with Daniel in hopes I wouldn't attract too much attention, but as soon as Zachariah saw me, he knew."

"Zachariah?" Spence asked. "I met him, didn't I? When Daniel and I came to pick you up from Chuck's house."

"You did," I confirmed. "Long story short, we managed to stop the Apocalypse, but at a cost. Daniel, Jenna, Ellen, Jo… At a certain point, I was sure Sam was dead, as well."

"That was why you left," Morgan realized.

"I've been keeping an eye on Dean," I said. "And then, I failed and things were happening here, so I returned."

Silence filled the room for a couple of minutes, so thick you could cut through it with a knife, before Seaver spoke, her voice wavering.

"You said, earlier, about Heaven and Hell…"

"There are two ways to get sent to Hell," Castiel said softly. "You either do an act so horrid it tears your soul, or you sell your soul to a demon."

"So the criminals we hunt..." Morgan started.

"Hell," I said emotionlessly. "All of them."

"I never asked," Hotch said quietly. "Hayley?"

"Heaven," Castiel said. "I had seen her there with the others."

"Prentiss?" Reid asked in a small voice.

"Heaven," I said confidently.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Because I had gone through a lot to make sure of that," I said. "Ten years ago, she sold her soul to save Declan's life. I spent most of my time since I returned making sure she got it back."

"At what cost?" Rossi questioned suspiciously.

"The most valued coin when you're dealing with the Child of Creation," Castiel told him. "A favor."

The explanations went on for hours after that. Castiel went away for a while, and then returned, and all I did was sit and talk to my teammates before I received a phone call from Bobby, excusing me to go aside.

"You need to be careful," he said. "The boys just killed Eve but right before she died, she told them something important."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Crowley's not dead."

I took a moment to collect myself, making sure I wouldn't betray the fact that I already knew this information.

"How?" I questioned.

"We're not sure yet," Bobby admitted. "But according to Eve, he's still taking her 'children' and using their souls."

"Is Eve really a reliable source?" I asked.

"Right now?" he questioned. "More reliable than Cas, at least."

"That's a very serious accusation," I warned him. "Are you sure that –"

"He was the one to kill Crowley, but Crowley's alive," Bobby said. "Do you have any other explanation?"

"Be careful," I said instead of replying. "Stay in touch."

"Keep an eye out," he ordered me. "Trust nobody."

"Goodbye."

I hung up the call, walking back to my team.

"Where's Cas?" I asked Spencer and Ashley.

"The boys took him aside to give him 'The Talk'," Seaver said.

"You're joking me, right?" I asked. "We've been together for years now. He's already gotten me pregnant and took responsibility – which I declined."

"You know how they are," Seaver shrugged.

"Who was on the phone?" Reid asked.

"Bobby," I said. "Things are getting complicated."

"How complicated?" he questioned worriedly.

I sighed. "Season finale complicated."