Chapter 7 Of first times…
"I don't know, Brad. I guess he just… oh my god… Carlos?" Randy's voice sounded far away. The boy rushed towards him and leaned down. "Carlos?" he softly asked, but the boy couldn't answer. He just started to sob quietly. Randy looked at his brother, who held the door open and people away, while shooting a worried glance towards the crying boy on the ground. Randy sighed.
"Come on buddy, let's get you inside." He said, while starting to pull the boy up from the floor. But then, he started to panic.
"No… No, I can't face them… I just can't!" he yells out in between sobs. Randy shoots Brad a pleading look and he nods.
"It's okay, Carlos. You can come to our apartment, alright?" Randy softly asked him and Carlos seemed to calm down a little. He nodded slowly and let Randy put his arm around his shoulders and lead him down the hall.
He didn't even notice where they were going, as he couldn't see through his misty eyes.
Randy led him inside their apartment and to their couch.
"Brad, could you get him some water?" He asked, while his brother immediately headed for the kitchen.
Randy sat next to the boy and tried to soothe him by rubbing circles on his back. He mouthed a 'thank you' to his brother after he handed him the glass of water. Brad then sat down in front of him.
They waited for Carlos' crying to subdue and then handed him a tissue and the glass of water.
"Thank you." He sniffled as he wiped his eyes. Randy just sent him a warm smile.
"It's okay." He told the Latino, who tried to smile back, but couldn't manage fully.
"I don't know why you're so nice to me. I mean, after what happened earlier…" He started, when Brad suddenly stood up with his fists clenched.
"What happened earlier?" He asked in warning tone, making Carlos sit back a little with wide eyes. Randy rolled his eyes and got up as well.
"Nothing, Brad. Just calm down. Sheesh..." He mentioned as he pushed Brad to sit down again. "It's fine, Carlos. I mean, if that's how you feel…" Randy said as he also sat down again.
"No, but that's just it… I thought that was how I felt. But now…" tears started to well up once more and Randy frowned. He quickly looked over towards Brad.
"Uh, could you excuse us for a minute?" He asked his brother, who raised his eyebrows first, but then took one look at Carlos, mouthed a knowing 'oh' and nodded, before leaving the room.
Randy closed the door behind him and walked back towards the couch.
"I'm sorry…" Carlos muttered while sniffling again. "I'm just so confused…" He said, before sobbing again.
"It's okay, Carlos. It's going to be fine." Randy said in a soothing tone while scooting closer to the boy and gathering him in his arms. He pulled his head to his chest, where he sobbed, before calming down once again.
"I'm sorry… I can't stop crying…" Carlos said, chuckling a little bit, while wiping his tears with his hands. "And now I got your shirt wet." He said, smiling as he looked at the wet spot on Randy's shirt. He smiled as well. "I'm sorry…"
"You say that a lot, don't you?" Randy asked with an amused smile.
"Sor…" Carlos started to say, before looking away with a blush. "I guess I do say that a lot." He looked back and eyes the proximity between Randy and him. Randy realized it too and quickly scooted further away from him.
"So uh… You want to tell me what happened?" Randy cautiously asked. Carlos' smile faded and he looked down. "You don't have to if you don't..." He started, but Carlos interrupted.
"No, I want to." He mentioned and Randy nodded for him to continue. Carlos looked at his hands again. He looked up and the olive toned boy gave him an encouraging smile. "I uh… After I talked to you I went outside and sat next to James, my best friend. You know, the one with the long hair." Randy nodded in affirmation. "Anyway, we talked a little and then I…" He swallowed a forming lump. "I started having thoughts about him… Stuff that I shouldn't think, that I don't want to think… I just… Oh god, I'm such a mess…" He mutters, before burying his face in his hands.
"Carlos, like you said yourself, it's okay to experiment… I mean, you've never had a relationship before. It's only natural to feel confused some time in your life." Randy told him.
"Were you confused?" Carlos suddenly asked, pulling his head back up.
"I…" Carlos eyed him expectantly. "Well, uh… no, I wasn't." Randy admitted. Carlos groaned and buried his face in a pillow now. "But that doesn't mean it's like that for everyone."
"But what if I'm not?" Carlos suddenly asked as he looked up. Randy frowned.
"Not what?"
"What if I'm not experimenting? What if I'm not confused?" Randy didn't know how to respond, he just eyed the Latino curiously.
"Are you?" He asked carefully.
"I don't know…" Carlos groaned, letting his head hit the back of the couch. He sighed. "I just know that I completely ignored the Jennifers today, who are the hottest girls here. I mean, they walked right up to me and even wanted to ask me out and I didn't even notice… I was too busy staring at sweaty James with his perfect abs and his toned arms…" He started to zone out again, so he quickly stopped himself. "God, what is wrong with me?" He called out in frustration.
"Carlos, there is nothing wrong with you." Randy said with a chuckle. Carlos looked up in confusion.
"What are you talking about? How can there be nothing wrong with me? I'm thinking really dirty thoughts about my own friends, my guy friends… How is that normal?" He asked in exasperation.
"Well, it just means that maybe you like guys." Randy stated, making Carlos look at him with wide eyes. "I mean, when you were staring at James, did you… feel something? Or were you really just noticing how nice his abs looked?" Carlos felt his face heat up.
"I don't… Uh…" he stammered, but then he finally realized it. He remembered what he felt when he saw that droplet of sweat making its way down his body. "Oh my god…" He nearly whispers. "I… I really might be gay…" He said as he turned a look of horror towards Randy, who looked a little upset.
"Well, it's not the end of the world…" He mutters, looking slightly angry. Carlos softened his look.
"I didn't… I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I just… I've always chased girls around and got nowhere with them… I just never figured that this could be the reason…Wow…" he said as he let himself fall back into the back of the couch with is hands holding his face. "It would explain so much…"
Randy looked at him in slight confusion. "So you're not upset about this?" Carlos looked up at him with both eyebrows raised.
"No, of course not. I mean, it's just who you fall in love with, right? Doesn't change who I am. The only difference is that I might like guys now…" He trailed off, seeming to ponder over the thought.
"Might like guys?" Randy asked him.
"Well, I mean, I don't know for sure. I mean, what if it is a phase, you know? I don't want to chase after guys and then figure out I'm not..." He was suddenly interrupted with a pair of lips touching his own. He froze and his eyes widened. He kept his lips parted when Randy pulled back. Neither boy said anything for what felt like minutes.
"What was that?" Carlos then asked him hauntingly, his eyes still wide.
"I just… You said you didn't know for sure, I wanted to help you figure it out." Randy told him.
"So you kissed me?" Carlos asks in exasperation, breathing a little faster.
"I though it might help…" Randy explained when Carlos stood up and started to pace back and forth. "So… did it?" He asked hopefully. Carlos stopped walking and looked at him.
He looked hesitant about something. But then he suddenly seemed to make up his mind and stepped forward. He pulled Randy from the couch, put his hands on his face and promptly planted his lips on the other's. It hardly lasted a second, when Carlos pulled back.
Randy looked at him with surprise. Carlos walked away, his eyes looking nervous. He bit his lip and then looked at Randy again, who looked more and more confused.
"Okay…" He said, frowning. "So, does that mean…"
"Not sure…" Carlos said slowly and walked forward to catch Randy in yet another short kiss. He walked back again, licking his lips and looking at Randy.
Randy shook his head to try and get rid of the daze.
"Wow…" He uttered. "You know, not that I mind, I mean, I don't, I really don't. But seriously, did you feel anything?" He asked with hope and a little hurt sounding through his voice. Carlos stepped forward again, but Randy put his hands on his chest and pushed him away. Carlos looked confused.
"Again, not that I mind. Trust me, it hurts me more than you to stop this. But answer my question first; did you feel anything?" He asked again. Carlos looked at him.
"I…" He started unsurely, when Randy sighed and looked down. Just then he suddenly heard Carlos snicker. He looked up in disbelief and found the boy smirking at him.
"I really don't see anything funny about this…" Randy muttered. Carlos just grinned. Then, it dawned on him. He glared and punched Carlos in the shoulder. The Latino just chuckled and rubbed the now bruised shoulder. "You jerk… Why didn't you just say you felt something the last time?"
"Actually, I think I already felt something the moment you kissed me." He sheepishly admitted.
"So then why all those other kisses?" Randy asked him.
"Why do you think? Because I liked kissing you, duh." Carlos explained and then suddenly blushed when he realized what he said and looked away shyly. Randy started to smile.
"Really now?" He said with a husky voice as he stepped forward. Carlos looked unsure, but nodded slowly, biting his lip again. "Well, then how about we do it the right way this time?"
Carlos frowned, but when Randy slowly leaned in to capture his lips, time froze. The blond began to run his fingers through his hair, while Carlos put his hands down his back. He closed his eyes and kissed back. He then decided to take a step further and darted his tongue across the other boy's lips. Randy in turn quickly gained him entry and the two slowly and sweetly moved their lips together, exploring each other's mouths one step at a time.
Randy was the one to pull back first. He looked at Carlos, who still had his eyes closed.
"So, how was that? Still feeling confused?" He asked in slight amusement. Carlos slowly opened his eyes and smiled with half lidded eyes.
"No, I'm definitely gay…" He softly told the boy, who grinned.
"Good."
"So uh, what now?" Carlos nervously asked and looked up with sudden innocence and inexperience in his eyes. Randy smiled.
"Well, we could hang out together, if you want. You know, like a movie and dinner or something." He looked at Carlos, who looked surprised. "Or not, you know, whatever you want." He said, laughing nervously. Carlos shied away again.
"No, I'd like to go see a movie with you. I mean, you meant it as a date, right?" He said, looking unsure.
"Yeah, I did." Randy told him with a nod.
"Then yeah, I would love to go see a movie with you." Carlos told him quietly. Randy smiled at him and then shook his head. "What?"
"Nothing. I'm just glad I met you. You're nothing like any other guy I've ever met. And I mean that in a good way. A really good way." He says with a smile. Carlos smiles back. They sit in short silence.
"So uh… now that you're not confused anymore, I guess you'll have to tell your friends, right?" Randy asks him and Carlos pales suddenly. "What, what is it?"
"James… Oh man… I ran out on him this afternoon. Before running into the elevator, where you found me… Oh, I'm so stupid… he must be worried sick." He explained before getting up from the couch and heading for the door.
"Wait!" Randy calls out when his hand is on the doorknob. "Maybe you should uh, freshen up a little first." He told him with a smirk. Carlos frowned, but then headed for a mirror next to the door.
He gasped at the sight of himself. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, there were tearstains on his cheeks, his lips were swollen from the kissing, which created another blush and his hair was a mess.
"Okay, so maybe I need to freshen up first." He said, sounding embarrassed. Randy nodded teasingly and then showed him to the bathroom.
Half an hour later Carlos emerged, looking a lot better.
"I uh… I hope you don't mind. I used some of your hair gel." He mentioned sheepishly.
"Oh, that's fine. I don't mind. I mean, I hardly use it anyway and it really makes your hair look good." Randy answered, staring a little longer than necessary at the boy in front of him.
"Well, I should uh, get going." Carlos announced as he headed for the door again. Randy followed. "So uh, thanks for… you know…" He said, shying away again. Randy just nodded at the boy in the hallway.
"It's nothing. And uh, if you need anyone to talk to, you know, I'm right here." He offered, which the other gratefully accepted. Carlos almost walked away, before turning back suddenly.
"Uh, about our date…" He started to say.
"Oh, don't worry about that. Just go and talk to your friends first." Randy said, but Carlos chuckled.
"No, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go tomorrow night." He said, with hope in his eyes.
"Oh, uh, yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, I can go tomorrow. Tomorrow will be fine." Randy stammered, both laughing nervously.
"Okay, great. Well, I'll uh, I'll pick you up at 7 then." Carlos said and Randy just nodded. "Alright, it's a date." Both boys grinned and then lingered in the hallway. "Uh, I should go now."
"Yeah…" Carlos turned around and Randy moved to close the door, when suddenly a hand pushed it open again. He looked up in surprise and was suddenly engulfed in another sweet kiss. It lasted seconds, before Carlos pulled away and giggled, before hurrying off.
Randy just smiled as if in a daze and closed the door. He leaned against it with his back.
"Wow…"
Both boys were in a daze and feeling giddy, like high school girls. It was their first date after all. The first date for Carlos ever with a guy, so it was pretty special. Carlos touched his lips slowly, still feeling that last kiss lingering. He smiled at the kisses the two boys had already shared and couldn't wait for a whole lot more experiences. But first, he had to come out to his family. He didn't think they would react that badly. After all, he knew all of them and knew none of them had a problem with gay people. But he couldn't help but wonder if it might be different if it was someone they knew?
Little did Carlos know, that kiss in the hallway was already seen by one of his family members. One who walked away in shock and tried to ignore his squealing out of happiness girlfriend, who had witnessed it as well.
A/N Ooooh…. And the plot thickens ;) Some Coffee Ice Cream from Carlos' fridges for the person who can guess who witnessed it
Anywho ;) More chapters to come quickly, because I suddenly feel a lot of inspiration coming on for this story. I have finally made my mind up about who Carlos will end up with, but I'll let you guess that one :P
Thanks for the support, your reviews and such really brings a smile to my face. I wish the days were longer so I could keep on writing But I have to work, so no can do…
Loved Carlos' new video :P Such a goofball and it didn't make any sense :P But it was fun to watch, since they were all having fun, it made me smile
Okay, drifting off again. Look out for a new chapter soon in which Carlos will have 'the talk'… Dun dun dun…
Goodnight!
Love, Baxxie