I still don't own Ninjago or Star Wars. I still do own any AUs I may have created.

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.

~Dale Carnegie

~CHAPTER SEVEN: SECRETS KEEP YOU SICK~

The plan seemed simple enough: Carnegie, disguised in a Markiplier tee, would tail Jay and Nya (Kai was so nervous about something happening to his sister that I had to send Carnegie along to calm him down) while I assisted the boys in fighting and "getting" the first Fang Blade. I said "getting" because my job was to make sure they didn't actually get it.

And, to tell the truth, it all went well until I broke the promise I'd made to my sister.

But let's back up a bit, otherwise the stuff that I'll tell you about later probably won't make much sense.

Kai raised his sword high above his head and set it on fire. "Not so fast!" he shouted at the snakes before us. Unfortunately, the rest of us had just struck BA battle poses with our weapons (Cole later told me he'd never seen someone hold a violin so fiercely), so we looked like something out of a bad movie.

Cole turned to Kai, raised an eyebrow, and said, "Really? That's the best you got?" He slowly shook his head.

Suddenly, neither Kai nor Cole looked as powerful as they had ten seconds ago. Zane and I held our poses. "I couldn't think of anything on the fly," Kai blurted lamely.

"Well, how about, 'Time to burn!' or 'Jump on this fire-rock!" Cole suggested acidly.

"Well, next time, you lead."

"Next time I will!"

"Oh yeah? If you can catch up!"

Cole said something after that that was obscured by snake hissing.

"We'll figure the leadership out later, boys," I said, placing my EDV back into its harness. "En garde!"

With that, a fight broke out. I kicked, punched, and dodged my way through several enemies- and right into a corner that I hadn't seen before. Whoa, okay, when did that get there? I turned, only to discover that I was now effectively walled in by a crap ton of snakes.

Smack in the middle of the slightly curved line of Serpentine stood Pythor in all his eight-foot tall, grape soda purple glory. Now imagine that you're five feet two inches, like I was then, and in that very situation. See? It's scary. It was even worse because I knew that Pythor was the type who would hit a girl with glasses.

Pythor ran his eyes up and down, scrutinizing me. In the distance, the sounds of Kai's sword clanging against enemy weapons rang out as I met Pythor's eyes. Funny, my favorite sweater is that exact same shade of pink, I thought. Somehow, the thought braced me up inside.

The two of us held each other's gazes for about thirty-three seconds before he, in that distinctive British accent (yes, he was a condescending jerk, but dang, that voice!), declared, "Darling, have you realized that you're not armed?"

"Actually, I am armed, thank you," I replied, preparing to grab my EDV. Thank goodness it was preset to "Serpentine".

The corners of his lips twitched up in a smile. "With what?" The snakes started to get closer.

"Overconfidence, intelligence, and this," I said, whipping my violin into place in a single movement. "I'm absolutely sorted."

Have you ever watched the video for Lindsey Stirling's song "Moon Trance"? The whole video is zombie-themed, and there's a part where, after being surrounded by several zombies, Lindsey plays part of the titular song. This causes every zombie on screen to back off immediately.

I decided to do the exact same thing (no zombies, but the same few bars)- what did I have to lose? Quickly, I struck the notes, praying that Alexa had known what she was doing when creating this thing.

To my amazement, it worked. The wall of snakes split like two magnets with the same poles facing each other, and all of them either covered their ears and retreated- except for Pythor, who faded from sight. To be on the safe side, I kept playing as I walked backwards toward the ninja. I passed through a dense concentration of snakes and was not touched by one.

That is, until two purple hands reached over my shoulders and yanked my EDV away from me.

I spun just in time to see Pythor, laughing maliciously and fading back to invisibility, my weapon still dangling from his hand. Instinct kicked in, and I couldn't stop myself- I used the Force to bring it back to me.

The shock of suddenly losing his grip on my weapon caused him to become fully visible once more. I clicked it back into my plate, pulled my lightsaber out of my belt, and lunged.

Clang! My glowing green blade clashed with a golden staff wielded by Skales, who had inconveniently (for me, anyway) popped out of nowhere. I was momentarily surprised that his staff was lightsaber-proof, but kept my blade in a defensive position. Our weapons locked, and to his credit, Skales managed to block for a long time- that is, until Zane's shurikens malfunctioned.

Skales backed off immediately, which caused me to falter a bit, then joined his leader and troops in laughing at the frozen boys before slithering out of the building. I briefly considered pursuing them, until I sensed Kai's shock and realized that he wouldn't be able to melt their way out of there like he presumably had back in episode eight.

I ran over and expertly began carving chunks of ice from the colossal block with my lightsaber (they're good for more than fighting, you know) until I managed to free Kai's head and sword hand.

He stared at the weapon in my hand and asked, "Why didn't you go after them?"

"That isn't important right now. Please melt you and your teammates free." I disengaged my weapon and clipped it back into my belt. Never taking his eyes off the silvery hilt of my lightsaber, he set his sword on fire and freed himself and the others.

We eventually met up with Jay and Nya at the gates of the park. Nya, decked out in her armor, smiled widely as the boys complimented her on her Samurai X alter ego and how well she'd kept it a secret.

"Technically, I was the first to discover her secret, and didn't we agree whoever we thought was the best-" - emphasis on "best" - "- would naturally be the Green Ninja?" Kai said with a little more than a hint of smugness. "Huh? The Green Ninja? The destined ninja to defeat Lord Garmadon?!"

If only they knew, Ani. My sister's mental message hit me loud and clear as she came up behind me. "I saw you unlock your true potential, Jay- very impressive," Carnegie said.

Jay smiled in acknowledgement before going on to say, "You know what I learned today?"

"What's that?" Nya asked.

"No matter what kind of secret you have, whether you're a snake or a samurai, it's important to be yourself," Jay said seriously.

"Yeah, that's cute, but you wanna know what I learned?" Cole said back. "The Serpentine now have the first Fang Blade." I swear he glared at me when he said that. Back off, Cole, I was just doing my job!

"But we are getting stronger," Zane pointed out. "One day we will all reach our true potential, and Pythor will be stopped." Only temporarily, I thought at Carnegie, who was picking a piece of dirt off of her tee.

"And we figured out all this without Sensei. Pretty good for four ninja!" Jay smiled.

Nya socked him in the shoulder. "And a samurai," he added, rubbing his arm and gazing lovingly at his girlfriend. "Oh, and you two," he said, nodding at us. "By the way, were you tailing us, Carnegie?"

Carnegie nodded. "Kai was nervous something really bad would happen to you two, so he had me follow you. Which reminds me- I hate this shirt."

We all started heading back towards the Bounty, which we'd parked in the middle of an empty field near the park. Jay, Nya, and I walked up front, and my sister trailed in back with the boys.

The walk was silent for some time, until I heard whispering coming from the back of the group. My anxiety woke up and wondered if they were talking about me.

"...and then she pulled out this glowing sword thing and cut my arm free," Kai whispered. "She wouldn't tell us what it was, though it looked familiar." Oh, yep.

"It was quite fascinating- the way she pulled her violin right out of Pythor's hands without even touching him was especially interesting," Zane said. "How did she do that?"

I kept facing forwards, even as I sensed Carnegie growing increasingly agitated. Carmen, you better not have done what I think you did.

I had no choice, okay? It was either that or lose the EDV, and if I lost the EDV, I'd have had to bring out the lightsaber anyway because I wouldn't have had another weapon on me.

I guess we've got explaining to do, then. These boys are confused as hell. Behind me, the whispering continued, but my sister had gone silent as she and I mentally communicated.

What are we going to say?

"We"? Oh, no. You'll do most of the talking. Better come up with something good.

After dinner, all of us gathered up on deck to discuss what had happened. We'd explained the details of my short-lived snake attack to Jay and Nya while eating (and if you ever doubted Zane's cooking abilities, I'm here to assure you that you're wrong), and now they were just as curious.

"Spill it," Cole said, leaning against the mast.

I sighed and pulled my lightsaber out of my belt. Turning it over in my hands, I mentally rehearsed the speech I'd been preparing all through dinner.

I took a deep breath and began to speak. "Have any of you ever watched any of the Star Wars movies?" Yes, we Jedi, Sith and bounty hunters know we're supposedly fictional.

Kai snapped his fingers. "So that's where I knew that sword from!"

"I loved those movies, but they never happened," Cole said. He glared pointedly at Jay as he grumbled, "Although some of us think they did."

I looked at Jay. "So you think the events in those movies happened in real life?" He nodded sheepishly. "Great. You wanna know something, Jay?" Again, he nodded.

I leaned forward towards him. "You're right. They did happen." Jay's jaw dropped.

"You can't be serious," Kai scoffed. "Sure, the acting was good, but none of it ever happened."

I ignored him. "How about Doctor Who?" I continued. "It's the same thing there. And with the Portal games, the Harry Potter books, and a whole bunch of other things. All of them happened."

"Okay, I'm starting to wonder if Sensei knew this girl was insane," Nya muttered. "You can't be telling the truth."

I raised an eyebrow. "We'll see. Carnegie, there's a box on my nightstand. Could you go grab it?" She rose and ran to get it. I faced the boys again. "She's going to return with something that will probably change all of your minds. For now, let me show you something. Are there any pieces of training equipment you wouldn't mind seeing ruined?"

Jay pressed a button on a remote in his pocket, deploying an extremely decrepit training dummy. "We've been meaning to destroy old Buster here for a long time now," he told me. "Go ahead."

I activated my lightsaber and began approaching the dummy, spinning the blade like a baton. With a few quick slashes, Buster lay in pieces on the floor.

"But we aren't done yet," I said as I used the Force to build Buster back up. The pieces swirled a bit in the air as I concentrated and reassembled the dummy. A few moments later, he stood taller than before on the deck. Suddenly, the deck was silent.

"Ani, I've got that box you wanted," my sister said as she passed me a plain brown box. Its contents rattled, and I set it down on the deck, knelt, and motioned for the others to gather around.

I reached inside and pulled out a Kai minifigure, tossing it up to him. Kai caught it and examined it, looking scared. I handed Cole his figurine, then passed out the others.

"It's even got the eyebrow slash," Jay whispered as he looked at his tiny self.

Next my sister pulled out printed screenshots from episode eight- Jay kissing Nya, Kai and Cole bickering over bad one-liners, even the snakes discovering the first Fang Blade- and passed the around.

"Those scratches on Cole's weapon… this definitely isn't a forged image," Zane said. "These are photos. But how were they taken?"

"It's story time, boys," I said, crossing my legs on the wooden deck. "Better get comfortable."

The boys sat down, and I launched into my story.

"Okay, so a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a guy. His name was Anakin Skywalker, AKA Darth Vader, and he had two kids. One of them got married and had a child. That kid then got married and had kids. This pattern continued for a long time until Brian Lucas Kiladra was born. He was my father, founder of the Kiladra Jedi Academy. Brian married a woman named Lindsey Shan, the mastermind behind the FicTransporTion, or FTT for short. The FFT was a system that allowed travel between different 'fictional' universes- Capital City, District Twelve, Lemuria if it was in a book, movie, video game, or other work of fiction, it was accessible. And then they discovered that most of these places were having serious problems.

"Together the two brought the FTT into the academy's curriculum, bringing in the Assignment program. The idea was to enrich students by sending them to a universe or two and having them fix the problems, whatever they were, and helping the world's heroes save their worlds. It worked pretty well, considering that the students thought all these worlds were… well, imaginary.

"Picture this, boys: you're going to a place you were always told was fictional to fix a few problems related to the plot. What would you need to know before going in?"

Jay raised his hand. "Probably the entire plot, down to the last detail," he said.

"Exactly, Jay. And considering that that info would be available through whatever media the story is presented in, how would you get that knowledge?"

"By watching the show," Cole answered, starting to get it.

"Or playing the game," Kai added.

"So, when my sister and I were told that we'd be coming here…" I waited for one of the others to finish the statement.

"You binge-watched whatever show we are apparently in?" Nya answered skeptically.

"Bingo!" I cried. "You guys- all of you- are actually cartoon characters!"

Silence overtook the deck for a few moments, and then questions erupted all around.

"What happens to me in the future? Do you know?"

"Do we end up defeating the snakes?"

"You're a direct descendant of Anakin Skywalker?"

And then Kai shouted out the mother of all questions: "Who becomes the Green Ninja?!"

That did the trick- everyone went nuts. It took my sister and I a while, but we calmed them down.

"We aren't allowed to spoil anything, boys," Carnegie said. "Although we'd love to."

"Oh, boy, would we!" I smiled. "God, next season's going to be a blast."

"Hey, I've got a question!" Jay said. "Why was your sister so mad when we told her about the fact that you used your fancy Jedi abilities today?"

"She told me not to. I'm gonna hear about that later, I know," I sighed before answering more questions that the boys had for me.

Just before we all decided to go to bed for the night, Kai asked why Sensei had decided to hire us.

"Sometimes," my sister explained, "people in the storylines we visit know that something's wrong, so they contact us. I don't know how that works because I don't handle it. Now, if you'll excuse us," she continued, tugging on my shirt, "I need to speak with my sister."

I pulled on my favorite pajamas and stepped out of the bathroom, only to be confronted by a very angry Carnegie.

"Great job, Ani. Now they know what's up! You know I didn't want you to tell them about it or use the Force! It would've gone better if they hadn't known!" she seethed, climbing into the top bunk.

I groaned. "Like I said earlier, it was either that or lose my EDV- you know how Alexa got when I lost that invisible lock-box she made me. Plus, the EDV works. I didn't want to lose it!" I shot back, getting into bed. "I'm wondering why you thought it would work better if they didn't know."

"Now they'll want spoilers. Ten to one they're going to ask us who the Green Ninja is every day until it happens- and now we have to explain it out to anyone else who joins the team."

"I'm sorry, okay? Let's talk this out in the morning," I said, sliding my glasses off of my face and turning off my lamp. Above me, in her bunk, my sister was muttering angrily. I lay awake for a long time, and just after she fell asleep, I sensed a strange presence. I rolled over and faced out towards the room.

The bathroom door was glowing a soft yet sinister pink. It startled me, especially because I didn't know what it was. It felt ominous, though- it felt evil.

Before I could investigate (like every horror movie idiot ever- and I was supposed to be genre savvy!), it faded.

As I fell asleep, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched.

Well, I told you it'd be out before August.

Sorry it's so short; I was really excited to get this posted and couldn't stop myself. I can't wait for the next chapter- it's going to be so fun to write. I've been working on it in my head for a while now, and it's going to be great.

That's all I've got for now. Have a great day/night and God bless!

Signing off,

4nn4