A/N. Thank you for the great reviews and for Topanga who push and badger until I get it right. Thank you my friend for all your time and effort into making this chapter better.

You have to remember...

"You have to remember."

By now, that damn phrase was trapped in his mind, triggering a cascading maelstrom of thoughts, none of which he wanted to think about. Or remember. And the more he tried to get out of the morass he found himself mired in, the more he sank into the quicksand of despair, disappearing with no idea how to get himself out.

Images he tried his best to ignore kept flashing in his mind. Something was fundamentally changing in his body and he was more than a little bit disconcerted. He knew it had something to do with what was done to him while under Anubis' confinement but for the life of him, he couldn't recall what had occurred.

He curled into a fetal position as if the very act would help ease his mental anguish he was experiencing and once his distress started to abate somewhat another memory surfaced -

"Jack?"

Of course it would be Daniel asking, confused brown eyes on him as he and the rest of SG-1 is made to stand off to one side on the cliff while one of the Jaffa is dialing out.

"It's gonna be okay, Danny," he says, not believing it for one second.

"What's going on?"

Aware of the Jaffa surrounding him, he contemplated not answering. But then Daniel will probe and nag until he got an answer. And he didn't want to risk their coming back here.

"You're going home."

"Jaack?" Daniel stretched out the "a" in Jack's name making it a question while sounding a little lost, as he was propelled to the waiting wormhole. Carter's eyes glistened which made them look suspiciously like she had tears in them; Teal'c was occupying himself by fighting the two Jaffa holding him.

"Let go of me, dammit," Daniel swore as he struggled against two Jackal guards that had their hands firmly clamped around his biceps.

Jack grimaced. He wasn't used to Daniel swearing. He didn't like the desperation as the archaeologist managed to jerk one arm free, half turning to him in a beseeching manner.

"Jack, what did you promise?"

"Nothing, Daniel. Just go home, okay." And don't come back. He thinks but doesn't say.

"Anubis had made you use the device, didn't he?" There was so much accusation in Daniel's voice. And fear. And definitely guilt. "Jack, how much time?"

He shrugged, not really sure himself. It could be days, it could be weeks. But he needed to see his team step through the wormhole while he at least still had his own mind. A whisper drifted on the wind that moaned in a low keening voice around them, tucking ghostly fingers through his hair and he shivered at the touch as he tried to keep the feeling of desperation and doom from showing on his face.

"Jack," Daniel started again and he had had enough. "Oh fer crying out loud, Daniel. Just drop it, okay. It's done."

He turned away, staring out over the plain trying his best to ignore the gasp of surprise from his friend while the knot in his stomach cramped into a tighter ball.

Hear us...

He tried his best to ignore the dark whisper as what felt like fingers raked across his chest, raising the hairs on the back of his neck.

"O'Neill."

He half turns, aware of the deep bass of Teal'c spoken quietly.

"I will return for you." Teal'c states solemnly, his gaze strong and pure, keeping hold of his own and promising much more. Retribution. Salvation. Rescue no matter the personal cost.

He knew that they wouldn't be able to return. But he gives a nod in any case to stem the dark violence that was hidden so well in the big Jaffa. Anubis had promised alive if they cooperated.

The half-ascended being had said nothing about what would happen if they resisted too much.

"Sir?"

"It's gonna be okay, Carter. I'll see you soon. Keep the beer cold," he said quietly, knowing that he was lying through his teeth.

"Yes, sir."

She turned away, the glow from the wormhole blue against her features and he drank as much of it he could in. She set her shoulders, shrugged the grips of the Jaffa from her arms and with quiet dignity stepped through the wormhole.

Daniel was thrown and he stumbled into the event horizon, eyes still pleadingly on Jack's, as if that would change anything about their current situation. Or the fact that he was staying behind.

Teal'c gave one of his long slow bows and Jack knew that the Jaffa would do anything and everything to get him back.

With a woosh the wormhole closed and with it relief to know that at least for now his team was alive and safe.

And then the ghostly fingers and whispers were back, invading his body and mind as he allowed the guards to take him back to the ha'tak and Anubis.

And the memories of his own personal hell.

He came up out of the bed like a drowning man reaching for the water break, mouth open, gulping for air.

"Easy, Dean. It's just a nightmare."

His chest heaving, he turns confused eyes on Seth, thinking for a long second that he knew him from before. Brown eyes searching his own while a strong hand is laying reassuringly on his shoulder.

"What is happening to me?" he manages to ask before he could stop himself.

"I am not sure. But you cannot give in. You must fight this, Dean. You must remember who you are?"

Shrugging the hand from his shoulder, he replies asking Seth why it was so important for him to remember. And at the same time wondering what was in it for the old man if he did try to search his mind for more than just the last month's hell.

"Because there is not much time left."

"Time for what?" he ask as he swings his feet off the bed, "cause I sure as hell do not understand."

Seth sighs and then mutters - "Why did he have to be so stubborn," - to some unseen listener. Dean heard him.

"Who exactly are you, old man?"

"Who do you think I am?"

Again, a fleeting glimpse of Seth in some sort of brown uniform, weapon in hand as he returns fire to some unseen enemy flirts like a playful wind across his mind, dancing for a brief moment before his eyes before disappearing over the horizon.

He shakes his head, clearing that particular image.

"I don't know, now do I?"

"You do, you just don't want to remember."

He rose from the bed, making his way to the window and lifting a corner of the drapes to give a quick look out.

Everything seemed quiet. Peaceful.

He didn't trust his own senses.

Something was off. He could feel it in his gut.

"Dean?"

"I think it's time for me to go," he says, reaching for his tunic. He doesn't see the look of alarm on Seth's face as he pulls the shirt over his head, his ribs aching in protest to his physical action. But he did hear the quiet knock.

It was the deeper voice he remembered from half-baked memories hidden away in his dreams.

"Many have said that, but you are the first I believe can achieve what he said…"

Dean frowns at the words, the image of a Jaffa dressed in battle fatigues hovering almost invisible in his mind's eye.

A second later a big black man enters, the mark of first prime engraved on his forehead. The Jaffa was a little older but still the same man as the dreamy quality vision in his mind. He felt surprised when the normal ball of fear he was used to when seeing any Jaffa didn't centre on his stomach.

"I told you to wait."

"I could do so no longer. I thought that perhaps I could be of assistance, old friend."

"Maybe. He is as stubborn now as he was when he still had all his memories. I am not getting through to him."

"Hello, still in the room," he states as he looks from the one man to the other. "What exactly is going on here?"

The jaffa turns to him, bows his head in slow mark of respect. "I thought perhaps my coming here would trigger your memory."

"Yeah?"

"Perhaps I was mistaken, for the man I knew would not have so readily allowed himself to be overcome by false memories."

Dean turns to Seth, "How long has he been here and more importantly, who exactly is this?"

"He arrived this morning. You are good friends."

He laughs derisively at that statement. "Yeah. Last friend I made with a Jaffa gave me good enough memory that I'd not forget in a hurry. Sorry, you don't ring a bell. So if you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving."

Brushing past the big Jaffa, he opens the door to be confronted by the woman from his dreams. He stops, his mouth dry as she steps toward him, a questioning glance behind him before all her attention was back on him.

And then she spoke a name he hadn't heard in a long while. A name he thought he didn't want to remember.

He stretched out his hand as the image before him wavered than coalesced into something solid. Her skin was satin soft. He traced her lips, felt her hair, felt the warmth of her breath over his fingers.

"Am I dead?"

"No, Jack. You're alive."

He took a moment to take her in and then he was leaning forward and kissing her. He tasted her, felt the life in her even as she returned his kiss.

It was right at that moment that his senses decided to overload as memories surged back, filling his mind with flashing images and sounds. His knees gave in and he slid into a boneless heap at her feet.

Then darkness replaced the vision of his angel.

Hope you liked the ending for all the J/S fans out there. ;-) Next chapter is halfway through. Let me know if you liked the ending. ;-)