Chapter 7
"You have to move on," Shane's disgruntled voice interrupted, resonating far too close to the weary blonde's ear. Amy had started to explain the previous night's events, including the disastrous kiss and the outburst of one-sided feelings.
"Would you let me finish?" Amy rolled her eyes. She looked down at the ground as she crossed her arms, remembering how rough this morning had been. She woke up to her alarm and the girl she loved more than life holding onto her, neither of them willing to let go. It took Lauren screaming will one of you turn off that fucking alarm from the room next door to make Amy let go. She hit her alarm and climbed out of bed, the tired girl next to her looking up at her sadly, knowing this was the last time they would sleep in the same bed for a while.
They took their time getting ready, neither one of them willing to accept the fact that once they arrived at school, they would be making a concerted effort to spend less time with each other. Once they finally dragged themselves to the bus, they agreed it would be okay to sit next to each other. No need to get ridiculous with these rules, Amy thought. It proved to be a problem when Karma's leg kept brushing up against Amy's, and the blonde had to do everything in her power to not rest her head on Karma's shoulder. It didn't help that Karma kept glancing over with sadness in her eyes, wanting nothing more than to have her best friend back.
Once the bus ride was over, Amy was equal parts relieved and disappointed. Karma asked her if she wanted to do homework in the quad until school started, but Amy reminded her that spending every moment together defeated the purpose of giving each other space. Amy told her she was going to go find Shane, and Karma pulled her into a tight hug before she left. "Sorry, I just know I won't get to do that for a while," Karma groaned. Amy watched her as she walked away, wondering how Karma could love her that much and still not want to be with her. She was glad in her decision to take some time for herself. Everything had become far too painful and confusing. It would take some getting used to, however. She had been away from Karma for all of twenty minutes but she still missed her with every bone in her body.
"I told her I needed some space," Amy finally responded.
"Finally," Shane threw his arms up. "So you told her to go home after your emotional word diarrhea?"
"Not exactly," Amy clenched her teeth. "We kind of fell asleep together."
"You slept in the same bed? Seriously?" Shane looked at her in disbelief. "Even after everything you said to her, she still felt comfortable with that?"
"She kind of insisted."
"But you told her you needed space!" Shane looked equal parts irritated and confused. "Did you at least build a barrier with pillows, or something?"
"Shane, come on, we're not five," Amy furrowed her brow.
"You cuddled, didn't you?"
"Maybe a little?" Amy mumbled, bracing herself for Shane's response.
"Oh my god, Amy," Shane had to stop himself from shaking her. "That's weird."
"No it's not," Amy crossed her arms tighter. "You wouldn't understand. We used to do that all the time anyways. It's a girl thing."
Shane laughed out of frustration. "No, Amy, it's a you and Karma thing. And you need to stop doing that. All of that," he threw his arms up again. "You're basically giving her all the perks of being in a relationship with you while she's off fucking Liam!"
"That's being a little ridiculous," Amy clenched her stomach at the thought of Karma giving a part of herself to Liam that Amy wanted desperately. "Besides, not that it's any of your business, but I am done with 'all of that'," she threw her arms up mimicking Shane. "For now, anyways."
"Good! Be done, show her what she's missing," a smirk creeped up on Shane's face. "Don't worry, I'll find you the hottest lesbian in the city of Austin."
"I don't know if I'm ready to date yet," Amy rubbed her neck. "I don't think I could really connect with someone right now."
"See, this is your problem," Shane rolled his eyes. "Come on, it's not like you're trying to get married. You just need to have some fun," he nudged Amy while a devious smile crept onto his face. "And I know the perfect opportunity."
With everything going wrong in Amy's life, she desperately needed a distraction. Not to mention, being around a very touchy Karma nonstop for the past few days came with the side effect of almost unbearable sexual frustration. She stared at the ground in consideration for a few seconds before looking back at her friend. "I'm listening."
Shane's smile grew bigger. "In less than three hours, there's a busload of Refugees from our sister school in Brazil coming in. I don't know if you follow Hester's Tumblr, but let me tell you, there are some girls from that school that will make you forget about Karma real fast."
Amy forced out a laugh. "How do you even know any of them are gay?"
"Stop questioning me," Shane whined. "How many times do I have to tell you I have my sources? God, you're so lucky you have me," he put his arm around her shoulder and began walking towards her first class.
"You keep saying that, but I have yet to see the benefits," Amy teased.
"You'll thank me later."
Because Amy naturally assumed a circumstance would never arise where she would need space from her best friend of ten years, at the beginning of the year, she coordinated her schedule to nearly match Karma's. In addition, the girls were lab partners in their first period Chemistry class. Amy walked into her class as the bell rang, taking a seat next to Karma. She figured it would be okay to still talk to Karma during school, but she couldn't find the words to say. Apparently, neither could Karma. They sat awkwardly next to each other while the teacher went over ionic bonds.
More than anything, Amy just wanted to make Karma laugh. She wanted to break the tension between them, try to at least get back to some level of normalcy in their friendship. She smiled to herself as she thought of a joke. Hey Karma, it's a shame you won't date me, we really have chemistry together. She frowned when she realized a cheesy pickup line probably wasn't the best idea under these circumstances. She would save that one for when her and Karma inevitably started dating.
That was another thing she would do to pass the time. She would imagine all the things that were weird now that she and Karma would laugh about when they ended up together. Amy never even considered a scenario where her and Karma didn't spend the rest of their lives together, and she was beginning to wonder if that was part of the problem. It was kind of hard to move on when she kept imagining her life together with the girl sitting next to her, nervously avoiding eye contact and tapping her pencil on the table. She buried her head in her arms, exhausted from pining after what seemed to be less and less probable with each passing day.
Comparatively, Karma wasn't doing so well either. She had to physically stop herself from looking at Amy the entire class. She desperately wanted to talk to her, but she figured that this was part of Amy's plan to distance herself from Karma. She decided she needed to respect that, figuring that it was her own stupid plan that got her in this situation in the first place. That didn't make it any easier, though. Even though Amy had given Karma her blessing to date Liam, she decided it would be too hard on Amy to see the girl she's in love with date her worst enemy. That didn't stop her from missing him, however. She wasn't even sure if they were still together. She always felt so in control when she was with Liam, like she was powerful enough to convince him to love her.
Before Amy confessed her feelings, Liam was the only person she let herself consider being with. She was so sure that her kiss with Amy at the threesome was a fluke, but the more distanced Amy got, the less Karma could stop thinking about kissing her again. She chalked it up to a "you always want what you can't have" scenerio, and told herself to stop being so selfish. You'll only confuse her more if you tell her, Karma thought. You don't know what you want and it will destroy her if you're wrong. Besides, Amy would wait for her. She was confident that she had a very long time before Amy would move on, if ever.
The two girls managed to go the entire morning without saying a word to each other. It was extremely unpleasant for the both of them, and neither one thought they could ever get used to it. Karma decided to skip getting food and headed straight to the art room to hide from the girl she wanted to talk to more than anything. She was relieved to find that Liam wasn't there. She just wanted to be alone.
She looked around the room to find a sculpture sitting in the back corner. She walked over to get a better look, discovering it was a giant heart with numerous nails hammered into it. She rolled her eyes before muttering, "this has Liam written all over it." She turned it over to find his name sketched onto the bottom, smirking at the fact that Liam created the most predictable art in the entire school. She frowned when she realized that she was the one that caused him to make this overly cliche sculpture. She frowned even more when she realized she had done the same thing to Amy, the person she cared about more than anyone, only worse. "I really fucked up," she whispered before sliding down the wall to sit down and spend the remaining thirty minutes in self-loathing silence.
Meanwhile, Amy was moving towards the quad to finally get some space away from the girl who clouded every aspect of her mind. "Amy Amy Amy Amy!" an excited voice from behind her made her turn around. She looked back to see Shane running towards her, almost knocking a few people down on his way. "Come with me," he demanded, out of breath. "I have someone I'd like you to meet."
"Already?" Amy furrowed her brow. "Didn't the Brazilians just get here, like, fifteen minutes ago?"
"What can I say? I work fast. Come on," he pulled her wrist as she trailed behind him.
He led her to the lunchroom and pointed to a table with a confused girl sitting alone. "What do you think?" he asked.
"Wow, super cute," Amy said, surprised.
"Uh, cute, Amy? She's hot. Let's go say hi," he winked before pulling her to the table.
The girl looked up when she saw the two sitting down across from her. "What's going on?" she asked. Shane just smiled at her excitedly. The girl turned to Amy, "your friend told me to wait here and I'm not really sure why," she laughed. Amy's heart rate picked up when she looked into the girl's piercing blue eyes. Her thick brown hair laid over her tank top that showed off her slender figure and incredibly toned arms. Suddenly, Amy felt nervous.
"Yeah," she nervously laughed. "Shane does a lot of confusing things."
"I'll leave you two alone," Shane smiled and nudged Amy.
The girl looked at Amy, even more confused than before before shrugging it off. "Fabiana," she said, before reaching her hand out to shake Amy's.
"I'm Amy," she smiled, realizing how sweaty her palms were one second too late as she took the girl's other hand to shake it. "Sorry," she apologized. "It's just, uh, really hot in here today."
Fabiana laughed. "It's fine, don't worry about it."
Amy smiled her famous nervous grin before fidgeting with her hands. "So, are you gay?" she blurted out without thinking before immediately closing her eyes and internally cursing herself. Luckily, the other girl just laughed before saying, "oh, so that's what this is."
Amy rubbed the back of her own neck. "Shit, I'm sorry, I'm going to kill Shane. He said you were-"
"No, I mean, I am. Well, mostly," she smiled back at Amy.
Amy let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry, I'm a mess right now."
"You don't have to keep apologizing," Fabiana giggled. "You're cute."
Amy's eyebrows shot up. "I am?"
"Yeah, you are," she smiled, amused at Amy's nervousness. "Come with me to the school fair tonight? I'd like to get to know you better."
"There's a school fair tonight?" Amy asked, darting her eyes back and forth attempting to remember.
"Yes?" Fabiana laughed. "Do you even go here?"
"Yeah, I just, my… friend, usually pays attention to school activities, and well, we're not really talking right now."
"Oh, I'm sorry," she stared at Amy sympathetically, noticing the pain in her voice at the last sentence.
"It's fine," Amy smiled, suddenly feeling more confident. "I don't want to think about that anymore. Count me in for the fair," she smiled as the bell rang.
"Sounds good. It's a date," Fabiana beamed at her as she stood up, turning around to go to her new classes. Amy smiled to herself her entire walk to class. She finally felt desirable. After all the rejection she was facing, it was a relief to know that someone she actually found interesting wanted to get to know her. For the first time in weeks, Amy was thinking about something that wasn't Karma.
A/N: I know it looks bleak for karmy right now, but they both have some stuff to work out before anything happens between them. Don't worry, though, I have something good planned out for the next chapter ;)