Check out my other Re:Zero crossover stories
Re:Zero: Ultimate Gohan (Not Nerfed
Re:Zero: Z Fighter (Nerfed)
[Subscribe to PewDiePie before T-Series becomes number 1 on YouTube]
Next chapter has 3,145 word(s) written as of now
.
.
.
Saitama and Old Man Rom were in the loot house. The friendly giant checked his stash of stolen goods that were stored in a crate. Something inside of the crate would be of help to them in braking into the throne room. The bald hero was getting impatient. "Yo! Old man. What are you looking for anyways?" Asked Saitama.
The friendly giant didn't like being rushed. He pulled out what he was looking for and showed it to the bald hero. "These right here, will get the job done." Said Rom with pride in his accent. Saitama didn't even know what the old man was talking about. Saitama then asked "What's that suppose to be?" The bald hero scratched his right ear.
The Old giant was baffled at Saitama's confusion. "Why, these are explosives." Rom gave Saitama a closer look at what he was holding. The explosives were actually circular gems with an odd color to them.
"No, seriously, these look like you can trade them to some gold digger." Retorted Saitama. Old Man Rom narrowed his eyebrows "Now listen here, all you need to know is that these will get the job done!" Rom Yelled at Saitama.
The bald hero was loosing patience, perhaps going to the throne room is all just a waste of time. It just isn't in his character to want to go there in the first place. "You know what, I think I'll just wait for Genos to come out of the castle." Saitama then walked out of the loot house. Old Man Rom followed him. "Wait! You aren't coming?" Asked Rom.
Saitama waved his hand as he walked away "I got better things to do. Besides... If Felt is with Reinhard then she'll be fine, so you shouldn't worry either." "But that's what I'm worried about!" Replied Rom. Saitama then leaped away with immense speed. The Friendly giant still wasn't use to seeing someone move faster than Felt. Rom scratched the back of his head "Hm, what an odd fellow." He thought out loud.
Re:Zero: One Punch Knight
Having given up on trying to enter the Throne Room, at the speed of light Saitama arrived to an alleyway not too far away from the Castle and the commercial areas. To make sure he wont be recognized, he wore a white cloak that had Neko Ears on the hoodie. 'What a weird sense of fashion this world has.' He thought.
He hurriedly walked out of the Alleyway and impatiently walked past crowds of people toward the scent of food. Saitama didn't know how to read signs so he trusted his other senses to find a restaurant. He was feeling very hungry after running away for so long. So he hoped that the small amount of money he borrowed from Genos would be enough to buy at least a Ham Sandwich or a small bowl of noodles "I seriously hope they have Ramen in this world." He thought out loud, getting the attention of some people but then they minded their own business afterwards.
His senses didn't lie to him because he found what obviously looked like a restaurant. There was the obvious smell of food coming from the place and there were people eating food inside and outside. Little did he know, that the small amount of money he carried was actually a large sum of money. Possibly more than what a normal person should be carrying if they did't want to attract attention from thieves.
He did what any normal person would do at a restaurant. Simply wait in line like the rest of the customers. There were several other people in the restaurant with similar outfits to what Saitama wore, but those cloaked individuals had orange tails. They seem to be from some faction because they stayed together. That didn't matter to Saitama, he was more concerned with the line to the bathroom? Saitama realized he was waiting in line to go to the bathroom. He noticed there was another line on the other side of the restaurant meant for ordering food. 'Well, shit. How did I not notice this any sooner?' He thought to him self.
It would be very embarrassing if he walked out of line to go to another one, but his hunger was what drove him to not care about what people thought about him. So he walked out of line to the the other line. He gained some awkward stares but people eventually stopped caring and went about their own day.
But a select group of trouble makers kept staring at Saitama. There were five men dressed in casual clothing that simple commoners in Re:Zero would wear on a daily basis. Everything about them seemed like they were trouble. From the way they look at you to the way they walk and talk. Those five were 'assholes' to be exact. Their greedy instincts yelled at them to observe Saitama.
The bald hero didn't think much of the sound of money his pockets would occasionally give off. It was too distracting to the ears of thieves. Their instincts yelled at them to steal from Saitama. He didn't even notice the stares he gained from those five thieves.
The five same troublemakers will soon learn their mistake...
Throne Room
The fifth candidate was revealed to everyone in the throne room. Her name is "Felt", a thief from the slums. The nobles and magic users were baffled that such a young girl would be the fifth candidate. Meanwhile Reinhard was confident that his search wasn't in vain. Behind Reinhard stood Genos. The cyborg remembered how Reinhard took Felt away by force because of her important role as the fifth candidate.
Felt wore a beautiful dress that Reinhard bought her, she now resembled a princess. She calmly walked toward Reinhard. The Knight smiled at Felt, but she wasn't too happy with him.
Reinhard placed his right hand over his heart and bowed his head slightly. "Miss Felt, Thank you for gracing us with your presence."
Felt faked a smile. "You Bastard!" She attempted to kick Reinhard but the Knight stopped her kick with his right hand. "You dragged me here with no explanation, and what do you call all this!?" Complained Felt.
Reinhard deadpanned "You surprised me. What's brought such behavior?" He asked. "Don't block my kick and ask me that like nothing happened! I've had just about all I can take!" She complained.
Genos ignored the ranting of the little girl and continued to look forward. As soon as Reinhard released his grip on Felt's leg, the fifth Candidate looked at Genos. He wasn't acknowledging her presence.
Felt was surprised to see the cyborg "Huh? What are you doing here too?" She asked. Genos briefly looked at her then ignored her again. She became slightly irritated at his reaction so she kicked Genos on the hip but only to end up hurting her self instead.
"Ow! What are you made of? Metal?" She asked, hopping on one foot, holding her hurting leg. Genos wasn't amused "Yes. My entire body is made up of artificial limbs."
Some knights were shocked. Genos seemed like he wore a shirt over his armor but it turned out to be his actual body parts.
The captain of the Royal guard was loosing patience "If you're done rekindling old friendships, now's the time to come forth." Said Marcos.
Genos the cyborg ignored most of the activity in the throne room, he was more concerned over Saitama's frequently moving energy signature. Genos speculated in his thoughts 'Why is master moving all around the Capitol? Could he be doing hero work? I see, as expected from Sensei. Even as an unemployed hero, he still takes on the burden of helping others... Like a true hero.'
Little did Genos know, Saitama slapped five thieves that tried robbing him. Several knights shortly arrived then tried to apprehend Saitama, only to be slapped too. Now Saitama's energy signature was heading toward the castle, as if he was pissed off at someone.
Genos was snapped out of his thoughts when Priscilla almost attacked Felt, but Reinhard stepped in front of the candidate to stop her. "Many pardons, Priscilla-sama." Said Reinhard.
Emilia was offended by Priscilla's hostile behavior "What are you thinking in a hallowed place like this?" Emilia stood in front of Felt just in case Priscilla would attack out of nowhere.
Priscilla covered her face with her fan "I was only trying to teach an untrained little bitch her place." She said this as Reinhard backed away from her. Emilia was offended that Priscilla didn't care "You wont even apologize?" Asked Emilia. Priscilla scoffed back "Then, will you also apologize for being born? You silver-haired half-elf." Replied Priscilla, her fan covering half her face. Emilia became timid, she looked down slightly "I have no connection to the witch..."
Genos thought Emilia wouldn't be too bothered by her heritage, but he was proven wrong yet again. Genos wasn't the slightest bit offended over something so simple. When everything is over, he'll ask Saitama to giver her a pep talk.
Al scratched his helmet "Princess, could you drop it now? I'll be the one to suffer if you make more enemies, seriously."
Now with all distractions out of the way, the selection was able to happen normally. The candidates were introduced one by one. Priscilla didn't seem too worthy of ruling the nation despite claiming that she will win no matter what. The next candidate, Crusch Karsten, she seemed to be taking the selection more seriously and gave a noble reason to why she wished to become the king, "Lugunica belongs to the people, not the dragon."
Genos would most likely vote for Crusch if he didn't already support Emilia.
Anastasia Hoshin confessed that she simply wants to own a Nation for the sake of satisfying her greed of money. Genos had lost all hope for the rest of the candidates. Probably not a single person was worthy of ruling the Nation. He was hoping for Emilia to at least have a good reason to rule the Nation.
It was now Emilia's turn to introduce herself. Her reason to rule Lugunica was humble, but only a childish dream. She'd try to create a Nation where all beings are equal, but that wont be possible. Genos understood the statistics of racism from his own world. Even in a free country, there will still be chaos within mixed races. There was always prejudice and people who cheat the system by playing the victim card.
[...Analyzing Emilia...]
...Despite her age being over 100, her mental age is 14. From what I have seen from her attitude, she is too sensitive toward serious topics, including her own heritage. People like her don't lead countries properly...
[End of analysis]
'Emilia isn't a worthy candidate.' Thought Genos. He decided he wont vote for anyone, not even Crusch. 'This selection is a waste of time.' Thought Genos. He regretted accompanying Emilia to the throne room. Emilia doesn't seem to be in any danger at all. The cyborg always trusted what doctor Kuseno had to say about politics, so he believed Emilia wasn't a good candidate. Perhaps Felt would be-
"I never said I wanted to Rule the nation! Who'd want to be in a royal selection!?" Felt flailed her arms angrily while shouting. "Are you saying that you withdraw from the selection?" Asked Marcos. "Damn right I am!" Felt complained.
One man in another group opposite to the knights complained "What a mockery! I've overlooked this because the situation is dire, but to drag it out this long is senseless!" One of the council agreed "He's right. The Astrea family offers a gutter rat to rule us, while Margrave Mathers endorses a half-devil? Utter foolishness!"
Emilia and Roswaal stopped walking away "It isn't at all nice to call a half-elf a "half-devil." Said Roswaal, while smiling.
Genos didn't care about what the council had to say about Emilia. He was more concerned about why is Saitama's energy heading to the capitol at high speed? 'Where is Sensei going?" Thought Genos. The cyborg was snapped back to reality when one of the council shouted at Roswaal "That silver-haired half-devil! She matches the Jealous Witch's appearance, as described for generations! Why do you not realize that even allowing her into the throne room is disastrous?" That same council member briefly looked at Emilia with disgust "Filthy Woman!"
Emilia silently walked away while bowing her head in shame, she held back her tears. Genos remained silent. Defending Emilia's honor was pointless, Genos calculated that things would only become worse if he defended Emilia. The best course of action was to remain reverent. Emilia and Roswaal returned to their positions, silently. But things didn't become any better. The opposite side of the room were whispering bad things about Emilia. The Elf heard what they had to say about her and it broke her heart to be hated simply because of her heritage. She had no control over what race she could have been born into.
With Genos super hearing, he heard the whispers. "Anywhere that damn woman sets foot is a potential slaughter house." Said one of the nobles. "That mongrel doesn't have the right to be here." There were many more whispers until one man began to shout "The Witch's cult would attack the castle if they found out about this half-witch's candidacy!" This had triggered the mass majority of people in the Throne Room to start shouting at each other. The council was irritated by the interruptions today "Order! There will be order in this Selection!" Shouted Bordeaux, a council member with big blue eye brows. But the shouting didn't stop. "This is a mess. How will things cool down like this?" Bordeaux asked Miklotov. The bearded council member responded with "They will loose steam after a while, let us have patience." Replied Miklotov.
Emilia seemed to shut down, she froze in place and looked down in shame. Priscilla was very amused by everyone's negative reactions toward Emilia and glanced at her victoriously while covering her face with a fan. Priscilla knew she had one less candidate to worry about. Crusch Sighed in relief that she wont have to face too much competition in the Royal selection, although she did feel a small amount of sympathy for Emilia. 'She was never going to win to begin with.' Thought Crusch. Anastasia didn't give a reaction. She was too distracted with her thoughts. 'First thing I will change in Lugunica would be the way it does it's trading with other countries. This kingdom doesn't have a good marketing strategy...' Thought Anastasia.
Felt was annoyed by all of the rambling the rich people were on about. She hated everything about how they talked. "Wont they just shut the hell up?" Felt asked to no one but Reinhard soon answered "Don't let it get to your head, Miss Felt." "Don't call me that! I already said I withdraw from the selection." Scoffed Felt, she was moments away from kicking Reinhard but she knew he would just block her attack anyways. Reinhard looked down and sighed "Very well then..." He whispered to no one.
Genos was becoming impatient. The Cyborg was very concerned toward Saitama's energy. His master was heading toward the castle at high speeds. Genos wished to greet his master but that would mean he had to disrespect the selection. He eventually came to the conclusion that his master was more important than a selection he doesn't care about.
So he shouted "Enough!" The cyborg's voice echoed much louder than all of the shouting from the nobles combined. The room became silent. Emilia worriedly looked at Genos. What is the Cyborg doing? Roswaal glanced a smirk at Genos. The Council turned their attention to the Cyborg. The candidates were taken aback by the ferocity of the shout.
Genos looked at the nobles "Since no one here will say it, I will." Emilia panicked "Genos! What are you do- "Not a word from you either!" Emilia remained silent after that. Genos continued "Instead of bickering helplessly, you should be focused on the very little time we have. Time waits for no one. Time doesn't belong to us. You took it for granted long enough, and now we missed many opportunities."
Anastasia agreed with what Genos had to say about time. After all, time is money to her. Meanwhile the council and everyone else in the room were surprised by the choice of words Genos used. If he wasn't defending Emilia, what was he doing?
One of the council spoke "May I ask, what is your point?" Asked Miklotov. Genos turned away from the council and walked away. This confused everyone. "As I said, time was wasted here. I expected more from all of you but this was a miscalculation. If none of you will take the selection seriously... I'll take my leave." Genos was moments away from opening the massive doors, but only for the doors to be slammed open thus knocking Genos backwards. He landed on his own feet shortly before hitting the ground.
The culprit that slammed open the doors was an angry Saitama. Behind him were many knocked out Guards that failed to stop him. "Master?" Genos was dumbfound. Emilia was surprised as well. "Saitama?" She gasped. Roswaal felt his day was getting better. He smirked at Saitama. Priscilla remembered seeing Saitama earlier that day 'He's the one who put down those two kittens...' She thought. Crusch didn't know what reaction to have toward Saitama.
Many Knights glared at Saitama. Reinhard would have been happy to see Saitama, but Saitama illegally setting foot in the castle offended him slightly. Even though he's no match for the bald hero, it's his job to handle trespassers. Reinhard calmly walked toward Saitama until the baldy noticed Reinhard in front of him. "Saitama-"
"SHUT UP!" Shouted Saitama. Reinhard took a step back "Huh?" Saitama pointed a finger at Reinhard "Tell your allies to stop attacking me! How am I suppose to enjoy a peaceful day when your buddies keep on attacking me for no reason? Tell them to stop!" Complained Saitama.
"I'm sorry for you, but what you're doing is trespassing. If you don't leave, I'll force you out of the castle." Said Reinhard.
"I'll leave when you tell everyone to stop attacking me for no damn reason." Scoffed Saitama. He hardened his fists although he wasn't planning on punching anyone.
Reinhard's eyebrows narrowed "It isn't my decision to make. If you've done something illegal then it's only natural that you were-"
"I said tell them to stop attacking me!" Retorted Saitama. "It isn't at all nice to attack a fellow Knight."
Julius eyes widened at what Saitama had just said. Roswaal sighed "Oh my, he still doesn't understand." He thought out loud.
Julius stepped forward "You are Saitama, correct?" Asked Julius. Saitama's eyes darted to Julius "Uh, yeah." Julius stood aside Reinhard "You scored one trillion on the recruiting exam? Was that you?"
"I don't really remember, all I know is that I broke something." Saitama tried remembering what it was " Now what was it?... Oh yeah I broke a world record, I don't have to pay for it do I?" Asked Saitama, scratching his own ear. Julius was put off by Saitama's attitude. 'How could he have scored one trillion? He must have cheated.' Thought Julius.
The council's face expressions were just as confused as Julius. 'He set the record of one trillion?' was everyone's thoughts.
Julius walked over to Saitama. "Just now you claimed to be knight." He stepped aside to show all the other knights in the room. "In front of all of these Knights?" He asked. Saitama was confused to what Julius was getting at "Um, yeah?" The Knights and the council were offended by Saitama and glared at him.
Julius glared at Saitama as if he were ready to challenge the fraud in front of him. "Despite having not been fully acknowledged as a knight, can you backup your-"
"Can you shut up?" interrupted Saitama. Julius felt burning anger at being disrespected "What?!" The other Knights also felt insulted. Saitama continued "All of this "Knights and chivalry" is getting on my nerves. Perhaps this all together is another waste of time. I'm surprised Genos didn't yell at all of you to point out just how pointless all of this is."
Little did he know that Genos already took the time to yell at them not long ago. "Sensei?" Saitama looked over to his disciple "Not now Genos!" Shouted the Baldy. The cyborg had never seen Saitama this angry before.
Saitama looked at Julius and pointed a finger at him. "All of this is a waste of time, from the way you Knights stand still looking pretty as if you're actually doing something important and this entire..." Saitama looks around him and sees the candidates, the council, the knights and the nobles or magic users on the opposing side of the throne room. "Whatever this is..."
"Saita-" "Shut up!" Interrupted Saitama, gaining angry glares from everyone in the room except for Priscilla who was enjoying the drama, Roswaal who found all of this hilarious and Emilia who was embarrassed. Saitama continued "I can no longer respect you after what your Knights did to me today! It's taken me so much willpower to avoid Punching you right now! Your Knights have done the one thing I hate more than anything! I have killed monsters who've done less to me!" Shouted Saitama, his serious face present.
'What could the knights have done to have enraged Sensei to this extent?' Thought Genos. 'Oh this is getting good...' Thought Priscilla. Crusch bowed her head in worry. Felix noticed her master's state of worry.
Reinhard was becoming concerned to what Saitama might do if he became more angered. He wasn't sure if he could fight off Saitama or not. It would be best if he could calm him down. "Saitama, what awful thing could the Knights have done, for you to cause such behavior?" Asked Reinhard.
If Saitama had hair he would be pulling it off in frustration, but instead pulled off non existent hairs. He seemed like he was about to cry. "It was terrible! I'm not even sure if I should accept being recruited as a knight anymore. I think I'll just quit before I even start! Yeah that's what I'll do!" Shouted Saitama. Everyone in the room listened carefully to what Saitama was about to say. What awful thing have the Knights done to Saitama to have angered him this much? Was it really that bad? Genos began to loose all respect he had for the Knights of Lugunica. 'If Sensei doesn't want to be a Knight anymore, then I will also quit.' Thought Genos.
"Would you please just tell us what the Knights have done to you?" Asked Reinhard. Saitama fell on his knees "I!" People listened on what he was going to say. "I!" They still listened carefully. "I!" Okay now they were loosing patience with Saitama. "I!" "FUCKING SAY IT ALREADY!" Shouted Julius.
"The Knights caused me to miss my only chance of going to the bargain sale!" Shouted Saitama. Genos mentally face palmed 'Not again.' He thought.
"In this crazy world, the only words I can read are "Bargain sale" and "Bathroom" to make sure I can get by just fine!" He continued complaining "I was moments away from arriving to the Bargain sale, then the Salesman tells me that I'm 15 seconds late from getting cheap deals! It was only 15 seconds so it shouldn't have been that big of a problem but the Salesman insisted that there was nothing I could do!"
Everyone's face expressions were beyond salty. Priscilla wasn't amused anymore. She thought Saitama had some tragic story she could laugh at but it was just a peasant ramble. Roswaal wanted to laugh but nothing Saitama said was funny. Crusch was having a hard time believing that Saitama was some ultimate hero that could end the whale with one punch. Anastasia thought Saitama's bald head was cute?
Julius had enough of this nonsense and unsheathed his sword "That's it! You've overstayed your welcome. Your crime of trespassing into the throne room is enough cause for me to slay you where you stand!" Julius dashed at Saitama to decapitate the Bald hero...
2 seconds later...
There were cracks on the floor where Julius's body laid unconscious. He was karate chopped on the shoulder then fell face first onto the ground. Julius didn't twitch or show signs of consciousness. He's out cold. His sword was broken in half and he peed himself to make things more embarrassing for the Knight. His urine stained his pants then drooled over to his face. Such a humiliating defeat. Everyone present in the throne room were shocked at how easily Saitama put down one of the most skilled Knights with just a tap on the shoulder.
Anastasia glared at Saitama for hurting her Knight. The other Knights felt the urge to fight Saitama but they hoped Reinhard would do it instead. They were a bit shocked and afraid of Saitama's unknown abilities.
Reinhard felt bad for his friend Julius. If only he had enough time to warn him about Saitama's power. Reinhard gently carried his comrade by the shoulder then brought him toward Felix. Reinhard wasn't going to fight Saitama. He'd rather not piss himself too. His comrades were shocked that not even Reinhard would attempt to fight Saitama. And the Captain of the Royal guard didn't even interfere. He knew what Saitama could do against a entire army of Knights all by himself.
Saitama was becoming impatient "Thanks for wasting my time. Like I said, tell the Knights to stop attacking me." He turned around then vacated from the throne room. One of the huge doors broke off of the wall then fell onto the ground with a loud "THUD" The loud noise caused people to cover their ears in pain.
Genos soon dashed out of the throne room to follow his master. Saitama had already reached the front entrance of the castle. There were knocked out guards left and right. Genos descended from the sky onto the ground in front of Saitama.
"Master, may I come with you?" Asked Genos. Saitama shrugged "Maybe later. I need some alone time..." Saitama walked lonesomely past the the unconscious guards that littered the castle until he was no longer in sight.
Some time later
Saitama walked a lonesome path toward the Mathers Domain. Why did nobody appreciate Saitama? Even in his own world people didn't want to recognize him as a hero or a Knight. So far today he couldn't do a single hero task without being chased away by some Knights. Many knights who recognized Saitama as the new recruit thought he was some cheater that scored one trillion on the tests, but for some reason they thought Genos had real talent. Who can understand these people?! Knight Julius had to learn the hard way that Saitama isn't a fake. A painful lesson that wont ever be forgotten.
The only Knights who would have acknowledged Saitama were the ones who witnessed him in action.
The bald hero traversed a forest. He wasn't having a good day so he avoided contact with people. A pack of Wolgarms swarmed Saitama but only to be defeated with one punch. So the hero kept on walking the lonesome path in the forest. His boots were stained with Wolgarm blood but he didn't care.
He wasn't too bothered by people's bad reactions towards him because he was use to this kind of treatment back at his home. But things were getting out of hand. All the cool things Saitama had accomplished should have at least given him some fan girls but instead got a lot of hate mail from fat 30 year old virgins who read lies on the internet.
"If I keep this up, I'll be no different than those 30 year old virgins that send me hate mail." He thought out loud. "Wait a minute. Isn't a thirty year old virgin technically a wizard? I should ask a wizard to help me loose my virginity." He grinned. "No wait... A virgin isn't of any help to another virgin." His grin faded so he continued walking.
For some reason Saitama felt like he was being watched. No. He was indeed being watched. He could have sworn he saw several dark cloaked individuals disappearing into nothingness in the corner of his eye. "Hm?" He stopped and looked left and right for a few seconds. 'Must be my imagination.' He thought, he picked up the pace with his walking.
Saitama's super hearing caught a voice behind him "That's him. He carries the scent of love."
Saitama stopped walking so his followers stopped too. Saitama looked behind him "Show yourselves" He said. "I have no money so you can forget about what you're selling." He complained. There were silent whispers in all directions coming from the forest. From the ground arose cloaked individuals. There were possibly 20 men surrounding Saitama. The bald hero was taken aback by everyone's silence.
"You guys aren't trying to sell me anything are you? No wait, you're trying to turn me in?!" Shouted Saitama. The cloaked individuals all bowed in respect for Saitama. The bald hero wasn't understanding what was happening right now. He was getting a bit irritated "Yo! Who are you guys anyways?" He asked impatiently.
A voice not too far away could be heard "We've found another believer in love!? Excellent! The fruit of our efforts are the result of our diligence! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Saitama turned to where he heard the sound of chomping on fingers. Emerging from the group of cloaked individuals was an odd looking fellow with green hair, pale white skin and bloody fingers.
Saitama stared at the stranger's bloody hands "You should have someone check those hands of yours. That's a lot of blood." Saitama said, trying to sound concerned even though he wasn't.
The stranger walked closer to Saitama until he was 4 feet away from the bald hero "The scent on you, it's love isn't it?" Asked Betelgeuse. Saitama didn't understand what the madman meant by love. Did it have anything to do with being a good guy?
"I guess so. Maybe." Replied Saitama. The madman grinned with delight "Allow me to introduce my self." His head twisted in an unhealthy manner while he bowed in respect "I am Betelgeuse Romanee-Conti at your service."
Saitama just stared awkwardly "Okay. My name is Saitama." The madman regained his posture while not loosing his creepy smile "Excellent! Excellent! You aren't pride but this will do! Please come with us! I'd love to share the Gospel with you." Urged Betelgeuse.
Saitama didn't like where this was going "Gospel? Are you in some kind of religion or something? I'm not very good with 'Repent or burn in hell' kind of stuff." Replied Saitama, walking away from Betelgeuse. "Besides, I'm going home. Actually, I'm just staying at someone's place for now until I can get a home." Saitama walked past the cultists that surrounded him.
"You have residence in the Mathers domain?" Asked Betelgeuse, appearing in front Saitama's path. "um, I sleep in the mansion. Why?" Saitama scratched his ear.
The madman grinned with delight and tilted his head in an impossible way and bent his own spine backwards to the point where his head supported the weight of this body. He pulled on his own hair. "Heheheheh!"
Saitama was weirded out by the madman "hey, you got to take care of your hair if you don't want to end up bald like me." Said Saitama, pointing to his own bald head. The Madman regained his composure then stood up straight to look Saitama in the eye "You didn't happen to see a half-devil in the mansion, have you?" Asked Betelgeuse, leaning closer to Saitama's shoulder. Saitama took two steps away from Betelgeuse so he can regain his own personal space "If you're talking about a silver-haired half-elf, it's not nice to call her a half-devil. And Yeah. I see Emilia everyday. What about her?"
Betelgeuse jumped up in excitement much like a child would when receiving gifts "You know her name?! You've seen her!? What was she like? Does she spread love to all beings indiscriminately?" Asked Betelgeuse, he sounded like a happy child moments away from crying.
"Uh..." Saitama stroked his own chin despite not having a beard. He thought about Emilia's personality. She does seem like a person who spreads love. But it wasn't the kind of love Betelgeuse was talking about. "Yeah, she does. She seems like a lovely person if that's what you meant." Said Saitama. Then he stared at Betelgeuse in shock. "Wait a minute... You mentioned the word 'love' a several times, right?" Asked Saitama, staring at Betelgeuse in shock.
Betelgeuse smiled at Saitama "Yes, yes indeed. The subject of love is of most importance to us." The madman was moments away from attacking the bald hero if he tried to run away. Saitama gave Betelgeuse a serious glare and pointed at the madman "You... You guys are fanboys!" The Madman tilted his head in confusion "Nani?" Betelgeuse never heard of such a phrase "Whatever do you mean by Fanboys?" Asked the Madman.
Saitama laughed out loud. The cloaked individuals stared at Saitama in confusion. Betelgeuse wasn't amused "What's so funny? Why are you laughing?! STOP IT!" Complained Betelgeuse, he was moments away from biting his own fingers again.
Saitama pointed at Betelgeuse while laughing "Hahaha! You guys are a group of virgins that spy on cute Elf girls is that it? Why would I need to join your fan club when I get to talk to her on a daily basis?" Saitama grinned menacingly "And to top it all off, I think she likes me." He lied but he simply wanted to piss off Betelgeuse. "You might as well call yourself a Wizard because you look like a 30 year old virgin! hahaha!"
The madman pulled on his own hair in frustration "AAaaaahhh!" He raised his arms toward the heavens "Unseen hands!" Transparent arms pried out of Betelgeuse's back and went straight for Saitama's throat. The bald hero was lifted off the ground 20 feet to the sky. "Die!" Shouted Betelgeuse. Saitama's body seemed crushed and his joints were bent in ways that shouldn't be humanly possible, unless you were a very flexible athlete, like Saitama.
The Bald hero's body was dropped to the ground. It seemed like Saitama was dead or unconscious but that wasn't true. The madman regained his composure at the sight of the dead bald man. "You were slothful." Said Betelgeuse, staring at Saitama's twisted body that laid motionless next to a tree. Saitama's finger twitched, then the bald hero's body retracted to it's normal state as if he wasn't twisted badly. Saitama then stood on two legs and stretched and yawned. "Man, I don't know what you did but It helped with my back pain. How did you know I needed therapy? I guess you really are a wizard." Said Saitama, still yawning.
Re:Zero: One Punch Knight
Saitama has finally met with Betelgeuse. Will Saitama become a follower of love or will he spank those 30 year old fanboy virgins for stalking Emilia? Seriously we need to call Chris Hansen on these guys.
"Please take a seat." Said Chris, staring into the madman's eyes. Betelgeuse took a seat in front of Chris Hansen. The show host the proceeded to ask questions "Now, why were you spying on Half-Elf girls, hmm? Do you have any reasons for that?" Asked Chris Hansen, holding a note book and a pen so he can write down any response he gets.
Betelgeuse wasn't comfortable with the cameras staring straight at him so he raised his arms and shouted "Unseen Hands!" Invisible arms massacred the camera crew and slammed Chris out of the production Studio. "911! Call 911!" Shouted one of the Camera crew before being decapitated by an unseen hand. Betelgeuse stared into the eyes of the disembodied head "You are slothful."
The Swat team shortly arrive through every possible entrance of the filming studio. They slammed their way through the windows, breached the doors, descended from the roof tops, barged down the stairs into the studio. The Swat team were organized. All of this took place in 2 seconds.
Betelgeuse was dumbfounded "What in the name of love is-" Open fire!" "TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA" Gunshots filled the madman with holes from head to toe. His bloody body fell lifeless onto the ground.
Two swat officers approached the corpse to observe it "Kill confirmed."
Next chapter has 3,145 word(s) written as of now
.
.
.