Hope this was a quick enough update. I'm sure you guys will have plenty of questions about what's going on with Santana after, but you'll just have to continue reading and see.
The way she was looking into my eyes, it meant something. She hadn't stopped looking at me since we'd arrived at my house together. She said she wanted to work on homework, which was fine with me. I let her work on my bed, she said that she was jealous of it's comfort in comparison to hers. I settled down on the ground beginning some history note cards while Charlie ran around me playing with his new toy.
"You're not going to get anything done down there." Rachel informed me. I pressed my neck back against the side of the bed and looked up at her upside down.
"I'm efficient." I told her. "Plus Charlie's very helpful. He's smarter than he looks." I joked. "How's it goin up there? Need some help with that Spanish?" I can't say I didn't enjoy giving Rachel a hard time about Spanish. It was by far her worst subject and it was sort of entertaining to watch her struggle.
"No, I think I can handle it." She said stubbornly. I finished up my note cards and tossed them into my backpack. I never really understood why I even did note cards. I didn't need them; I actually didn't really need to do anything. "Hey can I see your math test, I have to make a few corrections, and I'm so confused about number 17." I nodded and reached into my bag and pulled out my math test.
"Number 17…the answer should be 14.898." I told her.
"Wait…how did you…let me see that." I pulled myself up into a standing position and walked over to the side of my bed and sat down next to her handing the test over. She took the test and furrowed her eyebrows.
"I can explain it if you want-."
"You got a 100%." I didn't know what she wanted me to say to that. It was true I did get a perfect score, but I could see from under my paper Rachel's test sat there with an 83% plastered on the front of it. "That's extremely impressive. Looks like you'll need to tutor me in two subjects."
"Rachel you got an 83 that's good." I informed her. I looked over the edge of the bed and saw Charlie trying to jump up. I scooped him up and placed him down on my lap. I began scratching his ears while Rachel sighed just about ever five seconds either over math or the fact that I did better than her on the test. "Is there something wrong?"
"No, it's just…you're gorgeous and smart, pretty difficult to understand why you don't just drop me and hang out with the popular kids." I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I stood up and walked over to a pile of unopened boxes in the corner of my room. "What's so funny? What are you doing?" I placed the top two boxes on the floor and picked up the last box and went back over to my bed. "What's in there?" She questioned as I pulled out a pocketknife and opened the box.
"Ever heard of a thing called patience?" I joked. She crossed her arms over her chest and scooted up closer to the end of the bed so she could see what I was pulling out of the box. I grabbed a sketchpad from the bottom of the box, opened it to the front page, and tossed it on the bed in front of Rachel.
"What is this?" She asked holding the sketchpad in her hands and scanning through it. "Are these comics? Is that Charlie?" Rachel's eyes opened in surprise as she turned the page. "You drew these? They're incredible, but why are you showing me these? It only proves how-."
"Much of a nerd I am." I said with a grin. "Look I draw comics about Captain Charlie. He saves the world, he wears a cape…I'm this giant lame nerd." Rachel continued to look at the comics and smile.
"They're amazing though. You're very talented." Rachel said quietly. I knelt on the bed and watched her look through the book some more.
"Santana." I looked towards my door to see my father standing there with a pair of chewed up shoes. Shit. I looked over at Charlie who was sitting on the bed quietly looking between my father and I. He dipped his head down and began to lie down much closer to Rachel when he saw what my father was holding. "That dog makes me start thinking about taxidermy."
"Why would you say that? It's not funny." He looked down at the ground for a second. Rachel may not have understood, but my father knew how I reacted when talking about death.
"Look just keep the dog away from my shoes." He said. "Did you offer Rachel something to eat? You know how rude that is to just-."
"We ate before we got here." I explained to him.
"Alright well, have fun." He dangled the shoes in the door for a second before walking back downstairs. God he could be so…well I don't know. It was more than just the annoying dad thing; it was so much more than that.
"So I've showed you what my lame hobby is, show me yours?" Rachel blushed and picked up Charlie giving him a kiss on the head.
"It's stupid." She said looking down at the covers on my bed and then back up at me. "Honestly, it's not a talent or anything, it's just…nothing."
"Do you think I'm going to judge you?" I questioned thoughtfully. I grabbed the sketchpad and shoved it back into the box, pushing it back down on the floor and kicking it with my foot so that it would slide over by the other boxes. "Well I'm not…you don't have to open up or whatever, not to me. I get it, it's because I'm new or whatever."
"What were your friends like back in California?" I leaned back on my bed looking away from Rachel and avoiding Charlie's kisses. "I mean were they rebellious or jocks or something?"
"They were nonexistent." At least I meant they were nonexistent when it mattered. Sometimes I thought about them, sometimes I just wished I would have isolated myself from everything. I could've done that here. It was a fresh start, right? It would have been so easy if Rachel hadn't showed up.
"What do you mean? Like you were a loner or something?" She doubted.
"I am a loner. It's a nature thing, a characteristic-."
"But you hang out with Sam and I all the time at school. I see you talking to Tina and Kurt…you helped Kurt. Are you saying you'd rather be alone?" She wondered.
"No…it's…I can't talk about it." It's not that I couldn't I just refuse to. Rachel stood up and walked over to my door, I thought she was going to leave but instead she gently closed it. "What are you doing?"
"I figured you didn't want to talk about things because you were afraid your father would hear. I just wanted to-."
"It's not allowed!" I yelled jumping off the bed and yanking the door open. "We have to keep the doors open." I ran my hands through my hair and shoved my hands into my pockets. It must have looked strange for me to freak out like that over a closed door, but if Rachel knew the whole story then she'd understand. She'd understand. Who was I kidding? If there was something to understand fully then I wouldn't be so fucked up right now. "Before you ask…it's a long story."
"I think I know why." How could she know? Did my father speak to her about it? "Were you like hooking up with a boy in your room, and now your dad wants you to keep the doors open?" I could've laughed at that. I probably should've.
"No, it's because of…it's just because of Kenzie." I know Rachel wanted to hear more, but I'd never spoken a word about Kenz, since…well since a long time ago. "Look maybe you should head out. I'll just see you at school, alright?" Rachel nodded and grabbed her books slowly placing them into her bag. She slung the bag over her shoulder and looked right into my eyes. "I shouldn't have yelled like that, I'm sure I freaked you out-."
"No, but I am worried. You're holding a lot back from me. I don't expect you to come clean about everything…honestly I'll never expect that. I just want you to open up to me; you don't have to be a loner when you have me as a friend." She gave Charlie on last pet on the head before flinging her fingers in the air with a solemn goodbye whispered from her lips.
"Santana." I looked up and caught my father standing in the doorway for the second time today. This time he wasn't wielding chewed up boots. This time he held a bottle of beer in his hand and he was sipping out of it slowly. His eyes told me that he'd just started. The bottle was half empty, so that meant as soon as Rachel left the house, my real father made an appearance. "Why'd you have the door closed?"
"It was closed for a second…it doesn't make a difference." I said tensing up.
"You know the rules; they've been the same for years. You keep the damn door open at all times." I nodded and he took another gulp of beer. "You know it's almost like you've forgotten what happened."
"How could I forget?" I screamed.
"It's been a long time San-."
"It's been 8 months! That's not a long time, not by a long shot! Look I gotta get out, with you drinking again, it's just…I'm gonna take a walk." I pulled on some shoes and threw on a thin jacket.
"When will you be back?" He asked once I'd brushed past him in the doorway.
"A few hours. Just don't worry, okay?" He didn't respond but that was alright. He was going to get drunk as all hell tonight; I just didn't need to be there to see it.
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