"So Finn says you've never been swimming before," Poe says as Rey finishes her omelet.
She's never been out to breakfast before either, but Rey's not going to mention that. She gulps her coffee and nods. It's Saturday, and both Finn and Poe have the day off.
"It's not that hard. We'll start in shallow water."
"Poe, she can just have fun, you know," Finn says with a snort.
"I'd like to learn," Rey says quickly. The small L-shaped diner has several booths, all made of red and white leather. Kitschy modern art hangs on the walls, and the owner, a man who looks to be about Luke's age with dark hair, personally thanks everyone as they leave and apologizes to the huge line of people waiting outside. The line is the reason Poe tried to discourage them from going, but Finn pointed out that he was only there for the summer and had never been, and Rey's now forever indebted. That bacon omelet was amazing.
"Oh, that's the woman who runs the nonprofit," Finn says as he finishes his orange juice. "Jyn Erso."
A woman who looks somewhat like an older Rey enters, walking up to the owner. I wonder if my mother looked like me. A Hispanic man with a faint mustache wraps his arm around her waist.
"Must be her husband," Finn adds. "I haven't met him yet."
"Jyn's great," Poe says. "Good friend of my parents. Cassian is, too. And Bodhi—that's the restaurant owner."
Jyn waves as she passes them. Poe pulls out his wallet.
"Poe, I can help," Finn says in annoyance.
"I can't," Rey admits.
"Which is why I've got you both." Poe plunks down the cash, leaving a generous tip. "To the beach we go." He winks. "You can get it next time, Finn."
"Have a great day!" Bodhi calls after them.
"You too!" Rey calls back.
It's hot and steamy outside, as if the air's trying to suffocate them. Thank God for the breeze.
"Thunderstorms later," Poe reports, scanning his phone as he undoes Beebee-Ate's leash from the hydrant it was tied to. "So we shouldn't go out that far."
"Sure," Rey agrees. The beach comes into view, aquamarine water bubbling as waves crash against the shore. She strips off her t-shirt, revealing the royal purple bikini she bought the day before after asking Obi-Wan for a loan.
"Rey, you don't need to pay me back," Obi-Wan said, digging through his wallet. "Go buy yourself something you like."
And Rey threw her arms around him. "Sorry," she gasped, but when she pulled back, Obi-Wan was smiling.
"Oh, no," Poe mutters, and Rey turns to see Ben shuffling down the sidewalk.
He looks up, catches sight of them, and looks away.
Oh, screw it. Rey waves. "Ben!"
Finn groans, but Ben's eyes light up. He keeps his lips in a flat line as he heads over. "What are you three up to?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Finn asks, crossing his arms. "We're going to the beach."
"Teaching me how to swim," Rey adds. Ben's eyes linger on her swimsuit and his face reddens. "You're welcome to join."
Poe sucks in his breath, but Ben nods. "I'd like to. I'd just—I'll go home and change?"
"What, you don't want to devote your free day to your writing?" Poe asks.
"Snoke doesn't want to see any of my own writing until I have a unique and exciting story," Ben reports, his tone bitter.
"Seriously?" Finn asks. "You're a kid. Although, if you want to report on scammy boardwalk booth-runners, I can be your lead source. I'll freely volunteer than information."
"I'd read your stories," Rey says. "Even if they're not new or exciting."
Ben turns to her, eyebrows wide. "I could read yours too, then."
"She has Luke Skywalker reading hers," Finn says proudly.
"They're just film reviews," Rey adds. Nothing important.
"He hasn't done any journalism in years, though," Ben grumbles. "I'd like to read them, though, Rey."
"Really?" Her eyebrows fly up.
"Yeah." His arm brushes against hers, and she jumps. "See you soon." He peels away and darts towards his house.
"Be careful, Rey," is all Poe says. She ignores him.
The sand burns hot under her feet as she slips off her flip-flops and shimmies out of her shorts. "Our stuff will be fine," Poe assures her. Huh. Leaving stuff on Jakku was practically an invitation for passersby to help themselves. Rey would know, since the day she found a package of Twinkies on the only half of a park bench that was still standing still registers as one of the greatest days of her life.
She yelps as the water licks at her toes. "It's cold!"
"It's not that bad today, actually," Poe says as he slips under, swimming in long strokes. Rey catches Finn watching Poe and smirks. Beebee-Ate woofs and charges in, shaking his fur.
"What's that for?" Finn asks.
Rey shrugs and sucks in her breath, charging in. She drops under a wave and emerges gasping, salt stinging her eyes and soaking her hair. The water's up to her waist here, although she has to jump when waves surge.
"It's better to get it over with quick," Poe calls. "Come on, Finn!"
He plows through the water, reaching them and laughing.
"Okay, Rey," Poe orders "Lie back."
"Lie back?" Rey squeaks. "Won't the waves just—"
"Nope, not if you don't panic. And if you do, Poe and I will help you," Finn tells her.
If you panic, we'll help you. Rey's eyes burn and not from the seawater. She lies back, kicking frantically. Her foot makes contact with a soft surface.
"Oof," grunts someone.
"What?" Rey sits up, bobbing with the waves. "Sorry, Ben!"
"It's fine," he says, wiping water from his face. It's the first time Rey's seen him without his mask of eyeliner, and she rather likes the look.
"If you kick me," Poe warns. "I'll know it wasn't an accident."
Ben rolls his eyes.
"See, you're getting the hang of it," Ben tells Rey right before a wave crashes down on them. Salt water plunges up his nose, and Ben emerges coughing. But Rey grins at him, her hair in three sopping buns and her eyes sparkling, and his burning lungs don't matter. Sunbeams stab the water around her.
"I'm gonna go lie on the beach for awhile," Poe says. "Work on my tan."
"I'll join you," Finn says. "Chirrut made me borrow this book, and I need to start reading it."
"I'm still really confused as to whether this place is a bookstore or a library," Rey says.
"Me too," Finn jokes. "But this book is actually his, or Baze's. It's The Brothers Karamazov and it's eternally long, so it'll probably take me the rest of the summer to get through it."
"I had to study that last year," Ben says, remembering the story about three brothers struggling to find their own paths away from their father's destructive shadow.
"Is it good?" Rey asks as Finn and Poe slog back to shore, Beebee-Ate on their heels.
Ben nods. "I liked it. It kind of ends on a cliffhanger, though. The author wanted to write a sequel and died before he could."
Rey's jaw drops. "That's horrible!"
"Drown her and I drown you!" Finn hollers back at them as he and Poe jog onto the sand.
Ben flips them off. Rey shakes her head. "How's your internship going?"
Ben frowns. "It's going. How's living with Obi-Wan Kenobi?"
"It's going."
"Where did you live before that?" he asks, both of them jumping for a larger wave.
"Jakku. You've never heard of it. No one ever has." Rey clearly doesn't want to discuss it any further. Ben squeezes his fists. She must think I have everything.
What does she know?
A wave crashes over him again, and he splutters as he surfaces.
"Maybe we should make an effort to spend more time with him this summer," Mom said to Dad last week. Ben huddled in the hallway, his throat parched. He'd just gotten up to get a glass of water. "I'm worried."
Don't talk about me like I'm some kind of mental case! Ben gritted his teeth.
"He rejects me every time I try to talk to him," Dad says. "Maybe it's just the age. Remember when we were teenagers?"
"We survived because we were all friends," Chewie grunted.
"Han, I don't think he has friends," Mom said, and Ben turned and stormed back towards his room, chest aching and stinging as her words splinter.
Because it's true, and he doesn't know how to make it better.
Writing, Ben told himself as he reached for his laptop. That's how I make it better. I'll be as good of a reporter as my uncle ever was.
But as he tried to edit an article Snoke has him working on, a teardrop splashed onto his keyboard, and Ben threw the laptop across the bed, away from him, and hit himself in the ribs. Stop! Stop, stop!
He didn't know what he wanted to stop: the gnawing sense that he's as worthless as this editorial complaining about ever-changing teenager slang, or his attempts to beat it out of himself.
"You okay?" Rey asks, hauling him up.
He nods, gulping air.
"It's calm over here," Rey calls, moving to the left. "It's almost like a lake. You won't drown there."
Calm? Ben blinks. Rey paddles through the foamy sea and into a placid area, where she leans back. "Rey, get out of there!"
She whirls around to face him, but the current's already dragged her several feet from him.
"Shit!" Ben plunges through the swirling water, feeling the current rip him back as soon as the deceitfully calm waters grasp him. "Don't try to fight it!" he gasps, swimming towards her. His hands grasp her arms, and Rey gasps, choking as a small wave slaps her in the face. "Wave!" he barks, lifting his arm and waving it around. Rey copies him, but dear God—they're already so far from the shore—a wave slams into them—he can't feel Rey anymore, water scorches his eyes—and then he's up again, and he can see people running around back on the beach, some making their way out of the water—please see us, please see us, we can't fight it—I don't want to drown!
"You idiot!" Rey gags. "You shouldn't have—"
"You should have—" His shoulders ache as he tries to tread water. A wave slams into them, and saltwater floods his lungs. Rey's nails dig into his shoulders as she pulls on him. I'm going to—
A wave surges, and Ben kicks up. Rey vanishes. Shit! His arms flail, searching for her. And there she is—surfacing behind him, retching.
"Stop—Rey—" He tries, and then he's under again, grasping for the surface—but when he tries for it there must be another wave, because he can't break—come on, come on—his lungs scream—his brain buzzes—nausea floods him and he starts to gag—the ocean shoves its salty hands into his open mouth and there's nowhere for it to go—a blur of purple—Rey.
A hand grasps his neck, pulling him up, and something dark and shadowed swims past him, reaching for Rey.
Air.
Ben vomits as someone hauls him onto a jet-ski. His stomach cramps as he hurls again and again.
"You got her, Jess?" shouts a girl with two buns. Something Connix, if Ben remembers correctly. An Asian girl emerges, shoving Rey onto her jet-ski as she hauls herself out, a harness wrapped around her waist to keep her attached to her vehicle. Jess gives a thumbs-up.
Rey spits up water, wheezing as she gulps in air.
We're okay, Ben thinks dizzily.
"I can't believe this," Finn says as he waits in a small plastic emergency room chair.
Poe shakes his head, face white. Thank God Snap Wexley, a heavyset lifeguard friend of Poe's, noticed Rey and Ben waving. As it was, by the time they got to shore, Rey was stumbling and barely conscious, and Ben was grimacing as his calves spasmed.
"I want to see my son!" Han Solo's voice roars from the entrance. Finn leaps to his feet, followed by Poe, as Han and Leia round the corner. Chewie, Han's friend, appears behind them, shaking his giant head.
"Mr. Solo, Ms. Organa," says an older doctor as she bursts from the two white doors marked with red lettering: "Emergency personnel only."
"Dr. Kalonia!" Leia cries out. "I heard—Snap said—"
"He's okay; he's conscious, just a bit shaken up," Dr. Kalonia says.
"And Rey?" asks Han.
"She'll be all right." Dr. Kalonia purses her lips. "I don't suppose—"
"Dr. Kalonia!" shouts a gravelly voice. Finn peers around the corner to see Obi-Wan staggering towards them, Luke behind him. "Is my granddaughter—"
"You can both see your kids," Dr. Kalonia says. "If you'll come right this way." Beckoning, she leads them through the closed doors.
The doors Finn won't go through, because he's not family. He collapses back onto the chair.
"They're okay," Poe gasps. "They're okay, Finn."
"I heard." Finn clutches the chair's arms, wondering how he would have reacted if they weren't okay. It's almost what he expected.
Because in his life, things seldom ever are okay.
Finn doubles over, trying to remember to breath. Relief shouldn't feel like a snake, squeezing his breath away.
"Finn?" Poe asks.
He shakes his head. Tears sting his eyes and he wipes them away. "I'm just—really glad they're all right."
"Me too." A hand lands on his shoulder, and Finn bites his lip. His teeth chatter as the air conditioning blows mercilessly down on them.
"I was just thinking," he says. "If it had been me, and I'd died. I don't know whether anyone would bother to come to my funeral."
The moment he says it, he realizes how selfish he sounds.
"I would," Poe says quietly. "Hell, dude, I'd make sure your grave had flowers every month. Or I'd scatter your ashes wherever you wanted."
Finn snorts. "That's real kind of you."
"Seriously, though," Poe says. "You've got a lot of people who care about you, you know? Rey, me, Baze and Chirrut from what you've told me, Jyn—"
"I feel guilty for not noticing," Finn admits. "They were drowning, and I didn't notice."
"I didn't, either," Poe says softly.
I'm drowning, Finn can't help but think. And I'm so afraid that no one will notice, and I'm too scared trying to swim out myself to call for help.
Please, someone help me.
"Are you cold?" Poe asks.
"I'm fine," Finn insists, even as the air conditioner whirs and starts up again.
"Here," Poe says, digging through his sandy beach bag. He gave Beebee-Ate to Snap to look after. He draws out a rumpled leather jacket. "Put it on."
Finn hesitates.
"Look, you're cold. You might as well," Poe points out.
Finn takes it and shrugs into it. The relief is instantaneous.
"Maybe you should keep it," Poe muses, looking Finn up and down as he bites his lip. Finn's heart picks up pace. "It suits you."
"Ben, why would you risk your life like that?" Mom demands, gripping her skull. "Swimming in there after her—you both could have died!"
He sits on the emergency room cot, wrapped in one of the hospital's ridiculous robes. "Because I didn't want her to drown?"
"But you both almost—"
"Fine," Ben snaps, listening to the intercom page Dr. Kalonia. "I see how it is. I can't do anything right, can I?"
The curtain flies back, and Threepio totters in. "My goodness! Ben, I was so worried—"
"Why is he here?" Ben complains as Threepio holds his hands out for some Purell from the dispenser.
"Ben, that is not what I meant," Mom states. She purses her lips. "That came out wrong. I'm sorry."
"We're both proud of you, kid," Dad says.
"My goodness," Threepio says again.
Proud? Ben can't remember the last time they said that, aside from his flawless report cards.
"We'd just like you to show some care for your own life," Chewie grumbles.
"We can't imagine losing you," Mom adds.
Ben shrugs. "Well, you didn't."
"Thankfully," Mom says, and she hesitates, and then wraps her arms around him.
Ben blinks. He's used to shoving her away when she tries to hug him, but this time, with the memory of the water suffocating him, he can't. He leans into the arms, trying to breathe.
"Excuse me," says a familiar voice. Mom pulls back, and Ben spots Obi-Wan Kenobi standing there.
"Thank you," Obi-Wan chokes out. He stumbles forward, grasping Ben's hands, and again Ben doesn't know what to do or say. He's not used to adults looking at him like this. "You helped save her life."
Uncle Luke appears behind him, a soft smile on his face. Ben can't figure out how to respond to all this attention—he's used to being ignored, or condemned.
Especially by Uncle Luke.
"Your parents are busy for good reasons, Ben," Uncle Luke told him last summer, when they were both gone for two weeks and Ben was left alone. "Your mom's new legislation on human trafficking is—"
"Fantastic," Ben said sarcastically.
"It is. It will—"
"So what you're saying is that I'm selfish?" Ben demanded. "For wanting her here?" And then there it is: the fact that he wants her, a fact he hates that he just admitted because after so many missed school plays, he simply dropped drama and told them he didn't want to do it anymore. For each missed dance, he said he didn't have a date anyways.
"You'll get them, kid," Dad would say, but Ben didn't want them—he wanted them.
"That's not—" Luke starts.
"I can't stop feeling! I'm not like you! And I don't want to be like you! You think duty matters more than anyone or anything else!"
"More than you?" Uncle Luke asked, raising an eyebrow.
Ben said nothing, fists curled.
"That's why you're devoted to some crazy old cop—he was your source, right?"
"You're wrong," Uncle Luke told him, swallowing hard. "You know very little, Ben."
He isn't sure his uncle and his parents are the kind of people he wants to make proud of him, but damn if it doesn't feel like sweet relief.