Prompt: "Doflamingo and Crocodile coming across each other on some island, and Doflamingo annoying the hell out of Crocodile by following him around with persistent flirting and getting all touchy feely. As soon as Crocodile starts to lose his temper and is about beat the crap out of Doflamingo with his logia power, it starts to rain. Cue in Doflamingo's shit-eating grin and Crocodile's look of utter horror. I'd prefer it if it was set during the time when Crocodile is still shichibukai, but if you want you can set it earlier or later."
(written 1 April 2010)
Sir Crocodile had some very specific personal names for his fellow Shichibukai. Moria was "the fugly bastard". Kuma was "the furry bastard". Hancock was "the prissy bitch". Mihawk was "the freaky bastard". Jimbei was "the blue bastard". And finally, Doflamingo was "the psycho bastard", although he was currently considering changing the name to "the psycho pain-in-the-ass bastard".
Said pain in the ass sidled closer to Crocodile, invading his personal space, and grinned. "I just love this country of yours," he purred. "It's so beautiful, and hot. It fits you perfectly...."
"Gah! Don't touch me there! Get the hell away from me, you psychotic freak asshole son of a bitch!"
For the rest of the day, Doflamingo continued to stalk him. Crocodile tried everything to get the freak off of his tail: he'd discorporate, cause a sandstorm, and fly to the other side of the desert; but no matter what, his stalker was always nearby. Finally, he'd had enough.
"Sables--"
"Wait," Doflamingo interjected, and pointed upward.
Crocodile looked at the dark clouds, and felt his stomach sink. He hadn't even noticed them gathering, and just because the sky hated him, it unleashed the downpour on him. "Oh, fuck," he breathed as rain soaked into his clothes.
Doflamingo's smile widened until it was fit to split his face. "Exactly."