Medicine cabinet, bed.
Medicine cabinet, bed.
Medicine cabinet, bed.
It was a huge struggle to get from one end of the room to the other. Doofenshmirtz's gong-bang-ring-a-bell-inator had given Perry a massive headache, and it didn't seem like it was going to go away anytime soon.
His current plan was to grab a painkiller from the medicine cabinet and attempt to make it to his pet bed. Collapsing on the floor didn't sound too bad, though. Perry decided he was okay with that scenario as well.
"Perry! You're home!" Phineas shouted.
"Voice. Loud. Hurt." Perry slammed his head down on the counter. "Hush."
"Oh. Sorry." Phineas said. "Ferb says the universe is out of balance. We've been working on a creation to put it back in balance."
"I thought the letter S was a G." Ferb said. "Or maybe it is a G. I can't even be sure anymore. But one thing's for sure: People are giving their kids pets and then disappearing."
"That was in the movie we saw last night, Ferb." Phineas said.
"Oh. That was a bad movie."
"Right? So bad. I'd give it no stars. Negative nine stars. So does that mean the universe isn't out of balance after all?"
"Stop it, please. Both of you just… stop." Perry rubbed his head. "Or at least quiet down. Your crazy talk is making it worse."
"Sorry." Phineas said. "Would it make you feel better if we played you the accordion solo we wrote this morning?"
"Gah. Stay away from me." Perry crawled over to his pet bed in the living room.
"Do you need water?" Phineas asked. "Can we get you something?"
"Quiet. Get me some quiet."
"Um…"
"There are doughnuts in the fridge."
"YAY!" Both boys ran into the kitchen.
Perry closed his eyes. The doughnut distraction never fails.
...
Perry dreamed he was wandering around in a field of tulips. The tulips were all dancing.
Pinky was trying to plant two tulips in the same pot, but they kept jumping out of his paws.
The dream shifted. Perry was standing in the middle of a dance floor. A giant heart was tacked onto the ceiling. Its screen projected pictures of cows.
"Your perfect match is a cow." Ferb said each time the screen changed. The heart cast a spotlight on each person in the room. Doofenshmirtz floated past, singing a song about toaster strudel.
Cheesy goodness, yum yum, sweet, toaster strudel's good to eat. Toaster strudel on the stove, toaster strudel in your nose…
Perry woke up gasping for air. Somehow it had become difficult to breathe through his nose. His head was still pounding, but it was less extreme than it had been before he had fallen asleep.
He vaguely remembered having a conversation with Phineas before falling asleep, and he felt a little bad. He had been kind of cranky. Phineas was only trying to cheer him up.
"Phineas?" Perry whispered. His throat stung.
No. Not good.
"Phineas!"
Phineas came into the room, holding a glass of water. "I got up to get water. What's going on?"
"I think I'm sick."
"Uh oh. What happened?"
"My head hurts… my throat hurts… I can't breathe through my nostrils… and I have a stupid song about toaster strudel stuck in my head."
"Aw. Don't worry, Perry. If you rest and drink lots of water, you'll be all better in a few days."
"That's the problem." Perry said. "I need to get better right away. Valentine's Day is like… three days from now."
"We'll still have fun on Valentine's Day." Phineas said.
"That's when I promised Prince I'd take her on that romantic vacation. She's gonna kill me if I bail out. And by kill, I mean I need to get my will signed by tomorrow."
"I thought you already signed your will." Phineas said.
"I was trying to make a point, Phin."
"Well, Ferb and I are still working on developing the cure for everything, so I don't know what we can do besides hope you get better fast." Phineas said. "Or you could just explain to her what happened. She'll understand. Everyone gets sick."
"I just don't want her to think I'm trying to get out of it. I try really hard to balance out my families, I do. It's just… you guys have been my family for longer than anyone else, and I love being with you. And sometimes my other families have to take a backseat, and… it doesn't leave much room for me to say I'll do something and then not do it."
"Like my cow." Ferb said, coming up behind Phineas. He was holding a piece of toaster strudel.
Perry stared at him.
"Ferb always gets hungry in the middle of the night." Phineas said.
"Were… you singing when you made that?" Perry asked.
Ferb nodded.
"At least that explains one part of my dream." Perry said.
"We can make a clone of you and he can go on the vacation." Phineas said.
"One, I don't want someone else kissing my girlfriend, even if they're practically me. Two, why does he get to go on vacation while I'm stuck in bed?"
"Good points." Phineas said. "Do you want to come up to the bedroom to sleep?"
"I'm too weak to move."
"We can carry you up the stairs on your pet bed." Ferb said. "Like a little platypus prince."
Perry coughed. "Sounds good."
...
"What's wrong, sir?" Carl asked.
"Go away, Carl." Monogram said.
Carl shrugged and started to walk down the hall.
"Get in here, Carl."
Carl backed into Monogram's office.
"Since you mentioned it… I'm worried about the Danville Bank issue. The bank kept strengthening their security after each robbery. The bank is now vulnerable only to giant missiles and O.W.C.A agents. I'm worried that a member of the O.W.C.A is the culprit."
"Those are oddly specific weaknesses. Only O.W.C.A agents can get in, sir?"
"Technically anyone affiliated with the agency can." Monogram said. "It's very worrisome. Unless someone stole an O.W.C.A member's card and used it to bypass the security system… I'm afraid our bank robber… is one of our own."
"Maybe we should hold a stakeout, sir." Carl said. "Since the bank robberies keep happening. The robber must be coming back for more."
"Maybe we should hold a stakeout." Monogram said. "Since the bank is being robbed regularly."
"Uh… good idea, sir." Carl said.
"You and I." Monogram stood up. "We can't trust anyone else. Are you free for the rest of the week?"
"Um…"
"Great." Monogram shook Carl's hand. "We'll soon catch that robber red-handed."
...
"Here's the romantic letter you ordered." Peter said, handing Pinky a piece of red paper.
"Great." Pinky said. "I'll stick it in Carrie's bag when she isn't looking."
He began to read the letter over.
To Carrie,
You are as beautiful as a stalk of bamboo looks to a hungry panda. I am really sorry that you thought I was cheating on you with my cousin. But she was my cousin and I was just talking to her. I want to give you something to make up for it. Meet me at the fountain that was just installed in the O.W.C.A lobby.
Sincerely, Devvun
"You spelled his name wrong." Pinky crossed out DEVVUN and wrote in DEVON. "And the letter's a little… oh well, it'll just have to do. We don't have any other choice. How did your love seminar go?"
"We finished today." Peter said. "It was lovely. Seventeen new couples were formed."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Wow. You must know your stuff." Pinky folded up the letter. "Say, where's Perry?"
"He called in sick. I overheard it on my Tele-track." Peter held up a small device that looked like half a headphone. "Developed it myself. I can overhear every single phone conversation that goes on at the agency."
"Um… okay." Pinky said.
"For instance, someone on the phone right now… oh, it's Ernest… is saying please wash my red dress pants and white shirt separate… must be talking to the Laundromat. Lizzy is saying… oh my, I won't repeat that… she's in a fight with her cousin. And Lowe is trying to get hold of someone named Lodi, but he keeps getting the answering machine."
Peter's eyes suddenly got wide. "I hear Carrie! She… she's… booking a flight! For tonight! She's leaving tonight!"
"What?" Pinky frowned. "Not… not for good, right?"
"I can't really tell what she's saying. Her voice is all wobbly." Peter said.
"Oh, no!" Pinky started to shake more rapidly than normal. "We have to stop her! We have to get Devon!"
"You need to become a professional matchmaker one day." Peter said admiringly. "You really take the profession seriously. It's almost as though you're driven by the desire to live through other-"
Pinky grabbed Peter's hand. The two of them ran up the stairs to the second floor.
They found Devon in the lounge, playing Solitaire.
"Devon! Devon, you have to hurry!" Pinky said. "Carrie's leaving!"
Devon frowned. "To go where?"
"Away!" Pinky shouted. "Like, AWAY away! You have to stop her!"
"SHE HAS MAC AND CHEESE!" Peter yelled.
Both dogs stared at Peter.
"I thought it would motivate him to go faster." Peter said.
"Where's Carrie now?" Devon asked.
Peter put a hand to his ear. "She's waiting for the cab at the front of the agency."
"Let's go!"
The three of them raced down the stairs and down the hall, accidentally smashing into a banner that said HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, tearing it in half.
"Hey!" Darren the duck yelled. "You're paying for that!"
"I am?" Peter asked.
"No time, Peter." Pinky pulled him faster.
The three of them skidded to a stop by the front doors. Carrie was rolling her suitcase outside.
"Carrie…" Devon said.
Carrie turned around. She looked furious. It freaked Pinky out a little.
"Um… where are you going?" Devon asked.
"Ireland." Carrie said.
"Why?"
"I have a mission there." Carrie said pointedly. She was shaking. "Leave me alone."
"Oh." Devon looked down at his paws. "Um… Carrie, I'm really sorry… about everything. But… I wasn't cheating on you. I promise."
"You lied." Carrie hissed.
Devon walked up to her. She pulled her ears back.
"Carrie, I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to do…" He reached into his pocket. "You're going to say no… but… I just… I can't wait around anymore. I'm too sad."
All the agents gasped as Devon held the ring out to Carrie.
"That was a really bad time to propose." Billy the beaver commented.
The agents shushed him.
"Carrie… um… will you… um…"
Carrie looked at him.
"Maybe."
Devon's eyes lit up. "Hey, maybe's not no."
Carrie grinned. "Yes."
She jumped into his arms and hugged him. All the agents clapped.
"The Propose-During-An-Argument move." Timothy the tortoise said happily. "I haven't seen one of those since nineteen ninety three."