Chapter 7: Options to Ponder

"Hey Snake."

Lily didn't turn to acknowledge her brother. He was the last person she wanted to see at the moment, but she knew that wouldn't stop him from approaching her and inevitably making her life even worse at that moment.

"Are you ignoring me now?"

"Well, it seemed to be working so well for you," Lily retorted as James sat down beside her.

"Lil, you've got to get out of that house. You don't belong with them."

"I don't know where I belong, but the Hat put me in Slytherin for a reason, right?"

"The Hat was wrong," James insisted. "That's the only explanation."

"It doesn't have to be."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this!" James stood quickly. "You've always been the reasonable one, Lil. Albus is the obedient one, I'm the fun one, but you're the reasonable one!"

"No, I'm the independent one. That's what dad says. I think for myself. Maybe that's what the Hat saw in me…"

"The Hat was wrong," he repeated.

"James, please don't be that way," Lily stared up at him. "I don't have any friends. I need my family!"

"Whatever." He left, shaking his head.

"James!" Lily called after him, but he didn't turn back.

She sat alone for a few more minutes, once again working on the gum in her hair, but she eventually gave up, and decided to tie her hair up instead. The fluttering of wings drew her attention up to the sky and she spotted Arturo flying towards her. He settled on the grass beside her and lifted the letter he held in his beak. She took it and patted him endearingly on the head before he flew off towards the Owlery. She opened the letter from her parents eagerly and read through it twice to make sure she understood it fully.

Lily, our Love,

We know how disappointed you must be not to be in Gryffindor with your brothers and cousins, but we hope you will be able to get past the disappointment and see this as an exciting opportunity. You do love trying new things—just think of this as a new adventure. We do realize, however, that this may not be something you are prepared to do, and so if it proves too difficult for you to endure, know that we will support you in coming home if that is what you choose. You can study at home, with us or with a tutor. The choice is yours, but we want you to consider your options carefully. Don't make a decision emotionally or rashly.

We want you to know that we are very proud of you regardless of what you choose to do. We believe you would do well at school, in Slytherin or in any other house, but again it is your decision and we will support it completely. Write to us when you make up your mind and if you decide to come home we'll come and get you right away.

All our love, Mum and Dad.

Lily folded the letter and stuffed it into an inside pocket of her robe. With the option of going home opened to her, Lily took a moment to think about it. Though having a new option should have made her less stressed with the whole situation, Lily only felt more confused. She had been looking forward to Hogwarts for so long, but now that she was here she was only thinking about going home, and she hated it.

Lily stayed down by the lake until it was time for her Potions class. She assumed finding the classroom would be easy since she knew it was down in the dungeons, but when she got downstairs, she found herself quickly lost in the labyrinth of underground corridors. She had almost started to panic when she accidentally stumbled across the correct corridor and found the door to the Potions classroom.

"Welcome, Miss Potter, please join us."

She tried to acknowledge her professor (and Head of house) with a smile, but the moment he said her name every head in the classroom turned toward her. Once again she could feel the judgment beginning, along with the whispers and snickers, and once again she tried to ignore it. This time it was harder though, because it wasn't just coming from the Slytherins, but from the Gryffindors as well.

As she took the seat that Julianne had saved for her, her eyes drifted over to the opposite side of the room where the other house sat. She spotted Louis sitting with Daniel, and Hugo sitting with a boy Lily hadn't yet met. Behind them there were two girls who were whispering behind their hands and ogling at Lily with clearly unpleasant feelings. The one who really caught her attention though was the girl who sat alone in the back row with long dark hair hanging partially across her face, shielding her bright blue eyes; Lily remembered her from the sorting, and she remembered Louis calling her "creepy," but Lily couldn't recall the girl's name. She was flipping through her textbook and not paying the least bit of attention to anyone else in the room; her indifference pleased Lily.

A tug on her hair pulled Lily's attention back to herself and she turned to see the girl who had elbowed her in the previous class.

"You've got something in your hair." The girl smirked.

"Looks like chewing gum."

Lily eyed the guy that spoke and detected a resemblance between him and the girl. "You wouldn't have any idea how it got there, would you?" Lily asked.

The guy grinned, nudged the girl, and they both started laughing. Lily turned away from them, just planning to ignore them, and anyone else who tried making her miserable, but they weren't going to make it easier for her.

"You know, that's in there pretty badly," the girl spoke up again. "You'll probably have to cut it out. I could do it for you, if you like?"

When Lily turned around again she realized the girl was holding up her wand. "Umm…no…no thank you…" she scooted her chair closer to Julianne. "I'll find a way to get it out on my own." Lily had a strong pride for her long hair. When she was seven, she had found an old photo of her mother from her school days at Hogwarts and at that time she had had long hair like Lily, though now it was cut above her shoulders. Lily had always been secretly pleased that she had inherited most of her mum's features, particularly her hair and she became determined from that day forth to grow it long. A loud crash made Lily and Julianne jump suddenly.

"Oops…" Cassie pretended to be shocked as she walked past Lily's desk and knocked all her books to the floor. Nicollet's giggling told Lily it wasn't an accident. The two girls took the seats in front of Lily and Julianne and continued giggling together as Lily jumped out of her seat to pick up her books.

"Here, let me…" Louis was out of his seat in an instant to help Lily collect her things.

"Thanks." Lily felt relieved to have even a brief moment with her cousin; he somehow pushed all the bad things out of her mind.

"All right, let's get started!" The professor called the attention to the front of the classroom and the students' chatter died down. "For the Gryffindors who do not know me, I am Professor Willoughby and the head of Slytherin House, but don't let that scare you. I intend to be equally vicious to both houses." He paused and there was a slight murmur throughout the classroom. When he spoke again, he was grinning and Lily was again struck by how friendly he seemed. "It is my goal to have you all thoroughly acquainted with potions' basics by the end of this year, and along with the exam, you will also be graded on a midterm project for which you will all be choosing one potion to work on independently and then turn a sample into me for assessment. So you can plan those at your leisure. It should be challenging, but nothing too advanced. If you're concerned, come talk to me."

After the formality of an introductory speech, Professor Willoughby started lecturing on a few of the most basic ingredients, which the students took notes on diligently, as he had warned them there would be surprise quizzes frequently throughout the term. When the bell rang to end class, Professor Willoughby held up his hand to keep everyone in their seats. He made them sit still and quiet for a few moments before dismissing them, and then the students rushed for the door, eager to escape from the confines of the dungeon classroom. Lily was one of the last to gather her books, but Julianne waited with her until she was ready to leave, and when she had finished she realized Louis and Hugo were waiting too.

"Lou, can we talk later?" Lily took her cousin's hand as they exited the classroom. "It's important."

"Of course!" He squeezed her hand three times as Hugo started ushering him off towards their next class, away from Lily and her fellow Slytherins. "Come find me during dinner!"

"I will." Lily waved to her cousins and followed Julianne into the dungeon labyrinth.

"How do you think we get back to the common room?"

"Umm…" Lily closed her eyes and pointed, earning a laugh from Julianne. Hearing her laugh made Lily smile and reminded her that she wasn't as alone as she felt. She had a friend—at least a potential friend. "Why are we going back there anyway?"

"It's our free period, remember?" Julianne explained. "I figured we could relax a bit before our final class."

"Right…" Lily shook her head. "The Ravenclaws have a free period now too and I promised my friend I'd look for her."

"Oh, okay…" Julianne started to walk off by herself.

"You can come with!" Lily told her. "I'm sure Leona would like to meet you."

"I don't think so," Julianne decided with hesitancy in her voice. "You should go on by yourself. She's your friend."

"I want you to meet her though. I've known Leona all my life. You'll adore her, I promise!"

"Yea, I don't know…"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just don't think your friends are going to be my friends too."

"Why not?"

"I'm a Slytherin…"

"Seriously?" Lily rolled her eyes. "Are you seriously going to try and pass off that excuse? You've been letting me ramble on today about how being a Slytherin will be problematic for the other houses, and you kept trying to convince me it wouldn't, and here you are with the exact same argument!"

"It's different for me."

"It isn't at all!"

"They don't know me. I'm a Slytherin first and foremost. You're a Potter. It's different. No one thinks you belong in Slytherin, but nobody even questions that I've been put there. It doesn't matter to them."

"That's because they don't know you. You have to at least give them a chance. Please!"

Julianne hesitated for a moment, but ultimately shook her head. "I'm sorry Lily."

"It's fine. I understand." Lily tried to give Julianne a smile, but didn't feel very cheery at the moment and couldn't even fake it. "I'll see you in class." She left Julianne in the dungeons and headed upstairs in search of Leona.

"Lily!" Leona was waiting at the base of the main staircase in the front hall, and she greeted Lily with an excited smile as they rushed to embrace each other.

"Let's go outside," Lily suggested. "It's so nice down by the lake!"

"Lorcan told me there's a giant octopus or squid or something in that lake and if we don't feed it, it will eat us!"

"It won't eat us!" Lily laughed. "James told me about the squid too, but it's supposedly friendly." They headed outside.

"So, tell me about your classes."

"My classes? Really. That's what you want to talk about?"

"Well yea! Have they been great? Mine have been great!"

"Leona, I don't want to talk about my classes."

Leona was quiet, and her bright round eyes were intensely serious. "I didn't think you'd want to talk about the other thing…"

"The Slytherin thing you mean?"

"Yea."

"I have to talk about it with someone. I'm going crazy. My brothers won't talk about it and I can't exactly talk to my roommates about this…"

"What about Louis?"

"I would love to talk to him, but we haven't been able to. We've both had classes all day."

"Talk to me then," Leona told her. "Tell me what's bothering you."

"You know what's bothering me. I was sorted into the worst house possible."

"It can't be as bad as you think. Isn't there anything about it you like?"

"It's not about liking it or not. The house has a reputation that can't be ignored. Everyone knows it."

"Reputation isn't everything."

"James won't even talk to me."

"James always has been a bit of an idiot."

Lily smiled at her friend, but didn't feel any cheerier about the situation. "I got an owl from my parents this morning. They told me I could come home if I wanted."

"And do you think you will?"

"I don't know. It wasn't something I had even considered, but now, I'm not sure."

"Perhaps you could enjoy learning at home."

"Do you really see me being content at home while the rest of my family is here at school?"

"Not really, no." They had made it to the edge of the lake and Leona sat first, patting the grass beside her, and Lily sat as well.

"Plus, what will everyone else say? Will they think I'm a coward or ashamed?"

"You have to make the decision based on what will be best for yourself, and not consider what everyone else will think."

"I know. You're right, but still…how can I not?" Lily picked at random blades of grass.

"Lily, I want you to know that personally I would be very sad if you were not here at school with me, but if you feel that going home is the right choice, then I think you should do that."

Lily was quiet as she processed Leona's advice. It went against everything she wanted to do, but she couldn't pretend that she didn't agree. Maybe going home is the best thing to do. She knew it would solve a lot of her problems, but it was almost too simple of a solution. Lily wasn't used to giving up on anything.

"Lily, maybe you should talk to a professor about this—the head of your house or the Headmistress. They can probably offer you much better advice than I can," Leona suggested after a moment of her friend's silence.

Lily shook her head quickly. "I couldn't do that. Mum and dad have told me about Professor McGonagall—she wouldn't understand my conflict. She wants all houses to be treated equal, and she has a lot of faith in the Sorting Hat. She wouldn't appreciate it if I told her I was thinking of leaving. And it wouldn't feel right talking to Professor Willoughby about this. I don't want to offend him by telling him that I don't want to be in his house. He's actually sort of nice."

"Really?"

"Yea, I mean, he hasn't given me any reason to think otherwise. He's friendly and he smiles a lot."

"Let's say for one second that you didn't have any other options…" Leona decided suddenly. "If your parents hadn't offered to let you come home, and being re-sorted wasn't an option, which I don't think it is anyway, and you knew you absolutely had to stay in Slytherin…" she paused.

"Yea?"

"Well, don't you think it would be possible?"

"Possible? To spend my seven years in Slytherin, you mean?"

Leona nodded.

"I don't…" Lily hesitated. "No. I don't think it would be."

"Why not though? Really? Why not? You just said that the head of your house is nice. Isn't it possible that some of the students may be just as nice?"

Lily didn't answer. As much as she appreciated Leona's friendship, there were time when she resented her uncanny wisdom and advice. She let out a deep sigh and stretched out on her back, trying to make herself comfortable, but her conflicted feelings made even physical comfort impossible.

"I've got to go, Lily. Class starts in twenty minutes and I need to run up to my room first."

"Okay."

"Are you going to be all right?"

"Aren't I always?" Lily tried to put on a smile for her friend, but Leona didn't look convinced.

"We can talk again after class if you like."

"Thanks, but you've given me your opinion, and you're right. This is a decision I should make by myself. After class I'm going to figure out what I want to do. I won't be able to sleep until I have a decision."

"All right. You know where to find me if you need me."

"Thanks!" Lily didn't move from her relaxed position as Leona stood and headed back to the castle.

"Potter!"

Lily recognized the voice from class earlier and was instantly on the defensive. She stood and turned to face her enemies—she had decided they were enemies from the second they put chewing gum in her hair.

"We've been looking for you."

Lily's eyes shifted between the guy and the girl, though the girl was speaking. Her thin lips were stretched wide in a menacing grin, and her brown eyes glimmered with clearly evil intentions.

"Do you want something?" Lily refused to be bullied. She had grown up with two older brothers and knew how to handle herself, though she had been hoping to avoid any confrontations like this with her housemates on the first day of classes.

"Yea, we want you," she smirked.

"We want you gone, she means." The guy spoke up suddenly and Lily's eyes darted to evaluate him. He was a few inches taller than she was and his muscular frame was evident even through his uniform white shirt and sweater.

"I have just as much right to be here as anyone else," Lily retorted boldly.

"You don't either. You're not a Slytherin."

"I am though," she insisted. "Perhaps you weren't listening when I was sorted, but this is supposedly where I belong. There is no need for you to be such a pain about it."

"A pain?" they both echoed.

"Honey, you don't know what 'pain' is." The girl smiled again, though Lily did not feel at all comforted by the usually friendly gesture. "You will though. Just give it time."

Lily wanted to argue with them. She wanted to scream or hurt them, but she could still hear her father's lectures on good behavior ringing in her ears, and so she restrained herself. Instead of letting her anger get the better of her, she took a step to the side and walked around the two, heading back towards the castle and leaving them to scowl at her retreating figure.

Once back in the castle, she realized she had lost more time in her thoughts than she had realized and now only had ten minutes to find the Charms classroom. Instead of wandering around aimlessly, Lily decided to ask for directions. She was relieved when she spotted Louis's newest friend rounding the corner ahead of her.

"Daniel!" she called out to stop him.

He looked back when she called and waited for her to catch up.

"Blimey! You look ready to kill!"

Lily took a deep breath to calm herself. She hadn't realized how much her brief conversation with the two bullies had ruffled her. "I'm all right," she assured him. "A bit tense is all. You might've noticed there are one or two people here who don't quite care for me."

"Really? I couldn't imagine why."

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or flattering," Lily admitted.

He smiled. "Did you stop me for something particular?"

"I did actually. I was hoping you could give me directions."

"Oh."

She thought his smile actually faltered a bit, but decided she must have imagined it.

"You wouldn't know where the Charms classroom is, would you?"

"You're in luck actually. I've just come from there." He pointed down the main corridor as he spoke. "Up to the second floor, turn right and it's at the end of the hall."

"Oh, brilliant!" She beamed. "Thanks so much!"

"Anytime."

Lily waved over her shoulder as she rushed off down the hall, leaving Daniel alone to watch her leave. She didn't look back, and she didn't notice his curious and adoring eyes following her. She followed his directions and found the classroom without any problems actually arriving five minutes early.

Since she had beaten Julianne there, Lily chose a seat in the middle of the classroom and put her books in front of the spot next to her to save it for Julianne. Before she arrived, many of the other Slytherin first years had started filing in and finding seats around the room; among them, naturally, was Cassie and Nicollet, and the two who had confronted her outside a moment ago. She unconsciously slipped down a little into her chair, wishing she could hide from them.

"Hullo!"

Lily looked up gratefully as Julianne slipped into the seat beside her.

"Did you have a nice break?"

"Not at all," Lily answered truthfully. "I hope yours was better."

"Oh much, I'm sure," Julianne sighed and shook her head. "I really do wish you'd try and cheer up. You're missing the fun of the first day."

"Fun? I haven't had any fun."

"That's just it though. You should be having a smashing time. Haven't you waited all your life for this day to come?"

"Not really."

Julianne looked doubtful.

"All right, so I might've been a bit eager, but it's not turning out at all how it was supposed to."

"Maybe if you tried harder…"

"Julianne, you don't know what you're saying. Do you want to know how I spent my break?" Lily didn't give her time to respond. "First I debated with one of my best friends over whether or not I would be leaving school to go and take lessons at home, and then I nearly had a fight with those two bullies over there." She acknowledged the boy and girl with a very slight nod of her head. She didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention to herself. "I bet if I'd given them half the chance they would have knocked me down. Or worse."

Julianne analyzed the bullies in question and turned back to Lily with a scowl. "They do look rather horrid. What's their story?"

"I haven't a clue, but I know they don't fancy me much."

"Let's find out, shall we?" Julianne twisted around in her seat to talk to Kenny. "Oy, what do you know about Blondie and her bodyguard?"

Kenny glanced in the direction Julianne's eyes shifted. "You must mean Geoff and Sylvie. Their twins."

"Twins?" Lily rolled her eyes. "Well that explains the double assault."

"Yea, they're actually second years I hear, but they didn't pass some of their first exams and have to retake them. I don't know them well though," Kenny admitted. "Why the curiosity?"

"They're a bit brutish, don't you think?" Julianne spoke in a whisper so they wouldn't overhear from across the room.

Kenny laughed. "Brutish? Really?" Her dark-brown eyes shifted quickly towards the two in question. "I don't know. I think Geoff's a bit dishy."

Lily tried to mask her surprise at Kenny's confession, but in order to succeed she had to look away to hide her expression.

"Good afternoon class!"

Lily heard the professor greeting the room with a cheery voice, but she was distracted by whispers form the students at the same time.

"So, she's the Potter?" Lily didn't recognize the voice, but she could tell it came from behind her, and she thought it might be the guy she had briefly noticed sitting next to Kenny.

"Yea, that's her," Kenny responded.

"Is it true she's a nutter?"

"Not at all!" Kenny laughed. "Who'd you hear that from?"

"Geoff."

Lily had heard enough. She tuned the whispers out and focused forward. She was surprised by how tiny the professor was; she wasn't much taller than the students. It was the slightly graying hair, which was tied back in a loose bun, and the many wrinkles circling her soft brown eyes that indicated her maturity. Lily hadn't noticed this professor at the opening meal the night before, but she hadn't noticed much of anything, so it wasn't surprising. Judging by the dainty yellow badgers embroidered around the hem and cuffs of her black robes, Lily guessed she was the head of Hufflepuff.

"Hey, I missed her name…" Lily whispered to Julianne. "Who is she?"

"Professor Pillar," Julianne whispered back.

Professor Pillar beamed at the class with one of the most warm-hearted smiles Lily had ever seen. Even more appealing was the demure way she shuffled around her desk, flicking her short flimsy want with a loose wrist at random objects that then fluttered into the air with graceful ease.

"We have an exciting year ahead of us," she spoke as she walked. When she stopped walking and flicked her wand once more all the objects from her desk floated perfectly back into place. "And I am sure you all are just as excited as I am for the things you'll be learning…"

Lily noticed a few bored yawns and even some unnecessary snickering from the students. She couldn't deny that she also felt an urge to giggle a bit at Professor Pillar's extraordinarily optimistic sweetness, but she fought it out of respect.

"Today, however, we are going to start with a few simpler and less exciting things. Wands away please."

There was a dissatisfied grumble as everyone returned their wants to their bags or pockets; only a couple students stubbornly kept their wands on their desks within hands reach.

"We are going to spend today focusing on pronunciation," she explained. "Pronunciation is essential to any good spell work. Sometimes a simple charm can lead to disastrous results because of some simple mispronunciation. So, let's make sure we don't make any of those mistakes, all right?"

No one responded. Pronunciation was not exactly the exciting first day of class that the students had been hoping for, but then again the whole day had been rather disappointing on the excitement scale.

The day passed just as she said it would—simply. Professor Pillar recited different words and had the students repeat them as a group. Every once in a while she would pick on an individual student who wasn't getting the pronunciation completely. By the end of class, everyone was too tired of talking to talk amongst themselves anymore, and they filed out of the classroom mostly in silence.

"We've got a little time before dinner. What are you going to do?" Julianne kept pace with Lily as she hurried from the classroom.

"Hopefully avoid the two of them." Lily let her eyes indicate the twins who were shoving their way through the crowd of students in their hurry to leave class.

"Should we go to the library and work on homework until dinner?" Julianne suggested.

"Homework? Really?" Lily shook her head. "I'm not really thinking about homework right now."

"What are you thinking about?"

Lily didn't answer. Leona had advised her to make the decision on her own, and that was exactly what she planned to do. "I'll catch up to you later, okay? I've got some stuff to do."

"What sort of stuff?"

"Just stuff. It's personal."

Julianne stopped asking questions. "I'll see you later then?"

"Yea, later." Lily scampered off from the throng of students, desperate for a moment alone where she could seriously consider her options. She knew she was supposed to be meeting Louis before dinner, but for the first time she couldn't face even him right now.