Disclaimer: I have no ownage of Harry Potter and/or related characters, settings or scenarios. These belong to J.K Rowling and her associates and affiliates. Nor do I own the song "Tears don't fall" By Bullet for my Valentine.

Authors Note: Very sorry for not updating quicker but as you all know, the release of Harry Potter, The Deathly Hallows has arrived and I spent the previous two days completing it. Also I have about three or four other fics on the go and forgot about finishing this one. Once again, very sorry.

Other note of ACTUAL IMPORTANCE: Yes I am well aware that Snape's eyes are black but for some reason that I have long since forgotten, I wanted Snape's eyes to be green. But now I feel the era of green eyes has passed, and the dawn of black ones has begun. So just pretend he was wearing contacts before, if you have that much of a problem with it! Happy reading.

Previously…

"Stupid, stupid, stupid. What made you think she'd like you?" He got up and risked another look around the corner. Seeing no change he once again turned away. Hermione saw his eyes darken, like a part of him had died. He brushed a tear away angrily and he ran off into the castle, hugging his book. Hermione was in a state of shock. She couldn't believe what she had just seen!

No sooner had she thought this, did a heavy hand clasp her shoulder tightly and she felt her feet lift off the ground as she rose up and out of the pensive.

Breathless and somewhat disorientated, Hermione fell onto the floor of Severus' room, not daring to look up and see who had pulled her out of the pensive, though she thought she had a pretty good idea. She was fearful, yet angry too. How could he not tell her? What did he think when he saw her? When they kissed? He did not attempt to help her to her feet, and she got up of her own accord. She looked up into his black glittering eyes. She tried to read his face, but he had made it blank. Silence.

"Professor, I'm sorry." She squashed her anger, but not for long, "How could you?"

Snape seemed taken aback. Obviously he hadn't been expecting this reaction. Typical. She thought. The stuck up bastard's been expecting me to grovel and beg for his forgiveness.

"I assure you, I am not." Hs lips barely moved as he whispered those words.

"How dare you look into my mind? It's an invasion of privacy - "

"Yet you saw it fit to look into mine?" It was not a question, nor said in an accusatory, or even angry tone. But it still stung.

"How could you?" she repeated, "Tell me, all those times we shared together, all those times we kissed, was it me you were kissing? Or Lily?" This time Snape could not hide a flicker of emotion crossing his face, and Hermione knew she had gone too far. Though it was not anger that flickered in his eyes, it was hurt.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the indication that I preferred Lily to you. I assure you, it was not, is not the case." His voice was not angry and he seemed to clench his jaw at the end of this sentence to hold back tears. Hermione found it infuriating at how calm he was remaining. She wanted him to shout at her, so she could shout back at him. Yet at the one time someone wanted him to be cruel and sarcastic, he was anything but. There was silence, Hermione waiting for him to say something. But he just stood there, looking at the floor.

"Well? Say something! Or are you too busy thinking about your dear Lily?" She bit her lip. Why did she just say that? Why was she acting so mean? He was just standing there like a small, frightened little boy. He looked up, the hurt now clearly visible on his face.

"No. It's not like that, that's not how it happened. There's more to it than what you saw,"

"Oh really? Care to divulge? Show me. I'm sure you have it in there somewhere," she jerked her head at the pensive.

"Do not ask me to show you the most embarrassing, the most humiliating, the most painful," he seemed to have second thoughts about the last but continued anyway, "night of my life,"

"All right then! But I can only see what I saw, Professor." And with that she stalked through to her room and slammed the door shut so hard it sprang open again. She thrust herself on the bed and heard the door close quietly. She lay there on her bed looking up at the ceiling for what seemed like hours as she watched the shadows grow longer and longer, creeping up her wall until she was sitting in the dark. She knew even the slightest movement could be heard through the walls, so Snape must be keeping as still as possible, as not to disturb, or provoke her.

She must have drifted off, because when she awoke it was now pitch black. She sat up and looked at the door, which was slightly ajar, a small chink of light peeping through into her room. She crept out of bed and over to the door, peering through the crack. Snape had a bedside light on and he was sitting on the floor hugging his knees, staring at the pensive. He appeared to be deep in thought as a fat tear slid down his cheek. For some reason this made Hermione's heart hammer hard and fast against her ribs. There was something about seeing the undeniable, undefeatable Potions Master that everybody respected yet nobody bothered to talk to, crying. It was strange to see such a brave and strong person succumb to displaying fear and emotional disquiet. It made him seem…human. Just like everyone else. She watched as he got up and retreated to the bed, as if afraid of staying too near the pensive as more hot tears slid from his eyes, until he was crying freely. He hid his head in his hands, silent sobs raking through him.

Your tears don't fall

They crash around me

There was a knot in Hermione's stomache. She tried easing it by saying it was his fault, but of course it was not. She wanted to make amends, but a part of her didn't.

Her conscious calls

The guilty to come home

She knew he still felt for Lily. Knew that he would rather Harry have been his child, Lily to have been his wife. For him to be killed protecting Lily and Harry. But she was not sure whether he was shedding tears over Lily, or herself. Perhaps both? But she doubted it. It had to be one or the other. She wanted to ask. But she knew entering now would be fatal. She dreaded his reaction, seeing Snape so defenceless would be awkward on both parts. She knew he wouldn't shout, but she wasn't entirely sure what would happen, so decided not to risk it. She sat there by the door, listening to his muffled whimpers of sorrow. She felt tears well up in her eyes, but brushed them away, much as the younger Snape had in his memory.

Soon the sobbing had dissipated, and Hermione looked round the door. Snape was lying on his bed sleeping gently, a frown on his face. She wandered silently into the room, looking at the open window and the breeze blowing in. She shut it quietly and strode over to the bed. She looked down upon his face. He looked so beautiful when he was sleeping. His black hair fell haphazardly around his sculpted features, his skin seeming less sallow, just pale. On closer inspection, it was visible to see his hair (although contrary to popular rumour) was not greasy, but maintained a dark sheen. His long eyelashes, too long to be wasted on a man, fluttered gently in his sleep. She pulled the cover over him and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"Good night, Severus," she said before leaving, and she could swear she saw the faintest glimmer of a smile tilt his thin lips.

Their arrival back at Hogwarts could not have arrived sooner, in Hermione's opinion. Despite several attempts from Snape to make amends (which was most unlike him) she had maintained a cold indifference towards him. She had denied his offer to assist her in packing her things, had pointedly turned up the television in her room far louder than it had need be, and when he had tried to sit next to her at meals, she had simply stood up and walked to sit somewhere else.
When they arrived back in the school grounds, Hermione could feel Snape's gaze on her. So far, she had only permitted him to share a port key with her, and this had been only because the rest were all occupied. She looked over her shoulder at the Professor who seemed about to say something. She turned on her heel and stalked off, not allowing him the privilege of talking to her.

---------------------------------------------Severus------------------------------------------------

Severus stood staring at the door adjoining his and her rooms, completely speechless. What was going on? Everything was going so well…they were getting closer and then he had just been called to see the headmaster and upon his return had found Hermione no where to be seen. Strolling over to his pensive, he had looked inside and seen Hermione in his memory. His worst memory. This was the exact memory he had been trying to forget all these years, trying to conceal. And here was the woman he loved, in his worst memory. Utterly shocked he had pulled her out right away, before she saw the rest, but soon regretted it. A huge row had followed. He dared not look into her eyes until he could bare it no longer.

"How could you? Tell me, all those times we shared together, all those times we kissed, was it me you were kissing? Or Lily?" his head snapped up and he blinked back tears of anger and hurt. He could think of nothing, and everything to say. He wanted to shout at her, to tell her she was wrong and to leave just like everyone else. He wanted to show her the rest of what happened, to prove that what she saw was not the whole picture. But he didn't have the heart to do either. He bit back the urge to say something sarcastic, prevented himself the pleasure of hurting her as much as she had just hurt him, was still hurting him, because he knew he would not indeed find any pleasure in this. Instead he said a neutral comment to which he hoped she understood his loving earnest:

"I'm sorry if I gave you the indication that I preferred Lily to you. I assure you, it was not, is not the case." He clenched his jaw so hard it hurt. He must not cry in front of her. His crying days were long over. He remembered that brat, James Potter and what he had said in one of their…encounters. "Big boys don't cry, Sevvy". Big boys don't cry.

Severus had stayed up late into the night, sitting on the floor, looking at his pensive. All he had wanted was somewhere to remove those most painful memories, leave enough room for new ones, happy ones, with Hermione, to take their place. But now it seemed the happy memories had gone and left their places vacant, and in their place came old, much less fond memories, of Hogwarts, the bullying, and Lily. These memories ran through him, riding every blood cell, like barbed wire prickling through every vein, every artery. Memories of his father, long absent in his mind, the promised Lily had made…and broken. He felt a hot tear slide down his cheek and bit his lip so hard he could taste blood. But still the tears kept on coming. It was the pensive that was doing it, he knew it. He retreated to the bed and put his heavy head in his hands and let the tears fall freely.

He couldn't remember for how long he had been crying. But when he awoke, it was day, and sun was streaming through the window. He couldn't remember getting into bed, and puzzled as to how the covers were pulled over him. Despite this, he packed his things and went to the mess hall for breakfast.

The remainder of the day had been awkward to say the least, but when they at last arrived at Hogwarts, he was determined to end it. Hermione stood a little away from him and realised now was the opportune moment. He raised a hand to take her shoulder and she looked around. He opened his mouth to speak, but she simply walked away. He closed it again and curled his fist. He let it fall to his side, and walked with his things back to his office. He could feel someone's gaze on him, but could not tell who, so dismissing it, he threw his things onto the leather sofa and locked the door behind him. He did not much feel like going to dinner, but knew with his vacancy would come questions. So, pulling on his black robes over his head, he walked slow and sullen to the Great Hall and up to the Staff Table. He sat down next to Professor McGonagall and poked his spaghetti with his fork.

"Anything wrong, Severus?" she inquired. He replied in stony silence, but Professor Flitwick intervened.

"Yes, it seems you and Miss Granger have been getting along sportingly! Quite odd…a Gryffindor student and a Slytherin teacher…don't you think, Minerva?" Snape scowled.

"Hmm, well I did think that, but I can't think of any reason why you invited her over Mr Malfoy, Severus," she said with a knowing smirk which made Snape's blood boil.

"For your information, Malfoy is a lot less hard working then it would seem. Miss Granger on the other hand is up to my intellectual standards and is far more tenacious - " Flitwick coughed

"IN BED! Ahem, excuse me, have a very bad cough you see," he and Minerva sniggered as Snape turned scarlet with rage. He jumped to his feet glaring at Flitwick,

"You vile, foul, perverted old deviant! How dare you demean Miss Granger like that?! I assure you, the relationship between Miss Granger and I is strictly that of the teacher/student - " another cough from that insufferable dwarf,

"Ahem, HARDLY! Ahem, ahem, so sorry," more raucous laughter from the pair and it would seem Professor sprout and Vector had also overheard and were now giggling along too. Snape clenched his fists and turned to the Headmaster.

"Excuse me, Headmaster, but I must take my leave as I cannot stand another moment of my time wasted in the company of these," he turned and spat the last two words at his mockers, "BLITHERING IDIOTS!" and with that he turned on one heel and stormed out of the Great Hall, which he noticed had gone silent.

No sooner had he entered his quarters and began pacing up and down, trying to work off some steam did he hear the door close and the Headmaster enter. He glared at his superior.

"Now Severus - "

"What?" he snapped, "Come to punish me, have you? Do you know what those scum said to me? Accused me of doing?"

"No, Severus, I don't. Which is why I am here. As much as I, and I'm sure the rest of the students, enjoy having our mealtime disturbed by a most - attenuate – dispute between members of the faculty, I'm afraid as Headmaster I must understand this situation. Will you accompany me to my office?" He said with infuriating calm.

"But of course," Snape said silkily. Together they walked to his office and Snape found himself, once again, in the circular office, with the same feeling of dread in the pit of his stomache he had had on the day he had been denied the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"Now Severus, what is going on between you and Miss Granger?"

"Oh not you too - "

"Was I mistaken then, that you had taken a fancy to her?" Severus stood there, mouth wide open comically in a perfect 'o' shape. Had he been that obvious?

"But – Professor – how?" he managed to say.

"Come, come Severus. I may be an wizened old man but I can recognise love, and perhaps a dispute in love when I see it. Did you think I did not notice Miss Granger pointedly moving to sit anywhere but next to you? Did you think I would miss how you look at her, and how she looks at you in return? When you ran to her aid when she collapsed at the abseiling tower? In the dance lessons when you saved her from Mr Smith? And the ball itself, not everyone was too intoxicated not to notice you and Miss Granger dancing. And as for the encounter afterwards…" Snape had heard enough. He leaned close over the desk glaring into Dumbledore's twinkling blue eyes, however he did not flinch.

"You twisted, seedy old man," he snarled.

"Now now we'll have none of that. But I suggest, at least until Miss Granger has graduated that you two keep your – business – quite to a minimum, if you catch my drift," he winked conspiratorially.

"Are you suggesting I break the rules of conduct regarding the teacher/student relationships?"

"Though I'm sure you have been nothing but a gentleman to her, you and I both know you have already seen to doing that." Seeing that Snape had no reply to this, he continued, "You have heard what I have to say. And I suggest you make amends with Miss Granger. I thought you would have learnt from your past mistakes Severus. I trust you now to do so. You may leave," Severus practically ran out of the office and back to his quarters. His door was ajar and the cupboard door to which held the pensive, was also open.

"What is it this time?" He sighed. And he walked over to the pensive to see who had violated his privacy once more. With a jolt of horror he saw that it was, once again, Hermione. She was in a different memory this time, in fact, she seemed to be travelling between many of his memories.

---------------------------------------------Hermione----------------------------------------------

What on earth was that about? she thought. They had been sitting down, eating dinner and there seemed to be something happening at the staff table. Snape was sitting, shoulders hunched and his face beetroot red to the roots of his hair while McGonagall and Flitwick seemed to be teasing him. Then he stood up and asked the Headmaster if he could leave, (by this time the hall had gone quiet) whereby he shouted "BLITHERING IDIONS" at the teachers. She decided that she was going to follow him, but decided to wait until after dinner.

She knocked on the door but there was no reply. She knocked again, and on getting the same result, pushed it open. There was no one there. I wonder…she strolled over to the cabinet, which she knew so well and opened the wooden doors and…sure enough, there sat his pensive. Pulling it out, she poked the surface with the tip of her wand and with the familiar jerking sensation behind her navel, she was thrown, head first, into Snape's memory.