I want to reply to the reviews I got because they are literally some of the nicest I've ever received, but I'm in a hurry because I'm about to go out to dinner! Gah! I just really want to get this out though.

Two announcements: this is going to end up having about seventeen chapters. I'll post a oneshot that'll be the sort of "sequel. Two, when Your Tears Are Empty is finished, I won't post the sequel for it until this one is done so that I can give both of them my full attention. :) I didn't realize how hard it is to write so many things at once! Ahh!

Anyway this chapter is dedicated to AutumnFields who messaged me about the flame I got, and really made me feel better about it. :) You guys owe this chapter to her because I was originally not going to post it until tomorrow! I'm going to publicly endorse the story she's writing, which is entitled "Lacesco". Go read it, and leave her a nice review! ;D

And just a quick shout out to Tony, Jen, VampWolf92, and brandibuckeye for reviewing, and I'm sorry I can't reply. You guys made me smile when I was questioning my talent, and I'm glad that you guys think this story is worth your time. You're the ones that keep me writing! :D

"This waking nightmare lingers. When will the mirror stop telling lies? I don't know where I've been or where I'm going, but I can't do it alone. I'm reaching out. Rescue me. Show me who I am. 'Cause I can't believe this is how the story ends. Fight for me. If it's not too late, help me breathe again. No, this can't be how the story ends."-Kerrie Roberts

The sun gently touched my face, but I didn't open my eyes. I soaked in the feeling of the rays on my exposed skin instead. The sun rarely shown in Briton, even on hot days such as the ones we'd been having. It would most likely disappear before midday, so I relished in the feeling. Listening to the birds singing, feeling the sun on my closed eyelids, and smelling the rain from the night before were all the combined effects to create the subconscious smile on my face. In that moment, I had no troubles. There was no Marius, no wedding, no aggravating senator, nor confusing, emotionless knight. It was this ethereal peace that I wasn't ready to let go of.

It was not allowed to me long. Marisa threw open the doors to my bedroom, and yelled, "Get up, my sweet, you have a long day ahead of you!"

She went right to my closet, not bothering to see if I was actually awake. My eyes opened, and my smile disappeared. Her voice broke the reverie, and all of a sudden my problems were back. I rolled to a sitting position at the side of my bed, and rubbed my eyes. When they opened again, they landed on the black dagger sitting next to a blindingly white gardenia on my bedside table. Their contrast was astounding, almost like Tristan and I, really.

Some servants scurried in through the open door carrying buckets of hot water that they filled the tub in my room with, and I quickly grabbed the dagger and jammed it under the mattress before anyone noticed it. Fulcinia knew I was uncomfortable in the public baths, so I was given my own private tub in my room. Once the servants were out, Marisa came over to me and frowned with her hands on her hips.

"You look like the living dead," she snapped. "Did you get even a wink of sleep last night?"

"Eventually," I admitted. Truth was, I felt like I might collapse on my feet at any moment, but I wouldn't tell her that. Like she said, I had stuff I needed to do today. I would perhaps take a nap later when things settled.

Marisa grumbled to herself as she dragged me to the tub, removed my shift, and nudged me to the water. Once I was settled she handed me a small cloth so I could wash myself, and then retreated to my closet again. I quickly scrubbed myself down, feeling even sleepier in the relaxing water. Marisa chose a dress, and then came back to rub oils in my skin and hair. I wasn't allowed to sit and relax like I normally was, but was forced immediately from the water and dried off unceremoniously. She pulled the cream-colored dress over my head. It was baggy and flowed around me like a tent, so she used a rope-like tie to bring it in around my hips. Its collar was higher and didn't cling to me as other dresses did, so I was much more comfortable.

Marisa made two plaits on either side of my head, and then held them down with thick silver clips that made my head ache. The remaining hair was pulled forward to rest over my shoulders, unconfined other than the two braids at the top of my head. She tied my sandals on, and then walked me down to breakfast.

When I shuffled into the room, I froze instantaneously. Tristan was sitting next to the seat meant for me again. I thought it was a one-time thing, only meant to mess with my head. Was this going to become a regular occurrence?

Conversation was already buzzing between everyone, so I slipped into my seat unnoticed. Secondus was once again the only person not at the table, and I sighed in relief knowing that I wasn't as late as I thought I was going to be.

"You look terrible," Tristan grunted.

I glared into my goblet instead of at him. "You always look terrible, so you cannot begrudge one of the attractive people for having a bad day."

When I glanced at him, he looked slightly amused instead of offended like I was going for. "I did not know you thought so highly of yourself."

"With people like you thinking so little of me, I had to find someone who could see my worth."

"You are lying."

"Am I?"

His eyes were penetrating my skull, but I did not look at him. I wondered if it would be like this for the rest of his stay: battle of wills, clash of personalities, and cruel banter by day. Talk of home, getting to know each other, and silent companionship by night. The changes brought on by daytime hours made my head spin, but that may have been the lack of sleep.

Secondus arrived, and food was served. I ate my portion in silence, occasionally feeling Tristan's eyes on me. Our goblets sat next to each other, and he seemed to always reach for his when I did mine, causing his knuckles to brush across the back of my hand. After the fourth time it happened, I gave up on drinking, and I saw his self-satisfied look at getting that reaction from me.

"Hey, princess," Galahad suddenly said from across from Tristan, "are you going on the ride today?"

"Ride?" I asked curiously.

"The senator wants to see a bit of the countryside," he said scathingly. "So we have to go to make sure no one gets attacked by blue devils."

"Oh, well I don't know," I admitted. "I have to see to some wedding plans first, so-" Tristan snorted loudly, cutting me off. I looked at him frostily.

"If I were you, Tristan, I would get that knife out of her line of sight," Galahad laughed, carefully slipping the silverware away from me.

"You do enjoy provoking me," I said accusingly, ignoring the younger knight.

"Matter of opinion," Tristan said flippantly.

"How so?"

"You say I like provoking you, I say finding entertainment where there are no people to kill."

"You are a dumb brute," I spat.

"Matter of opinion," he repeated.

"Xanthe."

I jumped about a foot in the air, and whirled around in my chair. I'd forgotten where I was, and it had been easy for a second to think that it was night and we were alone by the gardenias again. Fulcinia was leaning around Alecto to speak to me.

"We must go fit your wedding dress now," she said. I nodded, and we both stood to go. Tristan didn't look up from his food, pretending that no one had even been next to him.

The same severe seamstress was in my room when we arrived, and two of her helpers practically assaulted me as they pulled my dress over my head before I was prepared. The older woman spoke quickly in a language I didn't know to the younger girls, and they did whatever she was asking hurriedly. I stood there, naked, trying to use any means to cover myself up. I didn't have to wait long until white fabric was tossed over my head in place of the dress I'd been wearing. Two silver dress clips were fastened at my shoulders to keep it up, and then something tight was pulled around my waist.

"Much too long," the seamstress snapped, staring at the way the dress pooled around my feet. "Cut it." One of the helpers started to do just that, and I stood stock still.

It took hours, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep where I stood. The whole thing was tedious; pin this, cut that, sew here. My opinion was once again ignored, and I was grateful as I was last time.

My eyes were closed from fatigue when I heard the snaps of the clips being undone, and then I was suddenly naked again. The seamstress picked up the dress I'd been wearing before, and put it back on for me, tying the rope much tighter than Marisa had.

"I shall be ready tomorrow," she said, leaving the room with Fulcinia. I stood there alone for a moment, feeling dazed. Exhaustion was taking its toll on me, so I trudged towards the bed, hoping to get some sleep before someone came to retrieve me to do something else.

Only my knee was on the mattress when someone knocked.

"Come in," I groaned, standing back up straight. Alecto stuck half of his body in the doorway.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"For what?" I inquired. Whenever I blinked, it took too long for me to figure out how to open my eyes again.

"For the horseback ride," he explained. I held back my yell of anger, and nodded, brushing by him irritatedly to go to the stables.

When I got there, all of the knights were preparing their horses while Marius and Secondus watched servants do it for them. Fulcinia was standing unobtrusively in the corner, waiting.

"You will ride with me," Alecto told me. I raised my eyebrows, but didn't comment. I thought I was getting my own horse, but it seemed silly now that I thought about it. I didn't even know how to ride one, so it was better this way.

"Are you alright?"

I looked at Gawain with my eyes half-closed. "Spectacular," I said sardonically.

A horse was brought in front of Alecto and I, blocking Gawain from my sight and silencing whatever retort he'd had. Alecto got into the saddle with surprising ease, and I glared up at the horse. The top of my head only just looked over its back. I hated being short.

"Come," Alecto said, holding out his arm. I took it, and tried to lift myself up behind him. It didn't work. I tried again, and the same failure ensued.

I was about to start screaming in frustration when two hands grabbed either side of my waist. My mouth gaped open as whoever it was deposited me into the saddle like a small child. I looked down, and Tristan was staring up at me.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, feeling burning sensations on my waist shaped like handprints.

"Looked like you were having trouble," he replied. I opened my mouth to say something rude to him, but he was turning away. I glared at him. Somewhere in my mind it was registering that I was being much more uncouth and rude today, but my mind was moving too sluggishly to catch up with the biting comments on my tongue.

I was glad Marisa had thought to make me wear a baggy dress, otherwise my legs would have been very much exposed on either side of the horse. Marius finally climbed into the saddle, and gestured us onwards. Alecto and I were in the back, just behind Tristan and Galahad. I had both arms wrapped around his waist, feeling awkward at the rock of the horse that made me keep bumping into him.

We rode for about twenty minutes before the trees started to spin. I tried to concentrate on the sound of hoofbeats and Marius and Secondus's boisterously loud conversation, but It felt like somebody was slowly pulling me away from the crowd even though I was still there.

Without thinking about it, I leaned my cheek on Alecto's shoulder to stop the spinning, facing towards his neck. I could feel his skin heat up when he blushed, but didn't think anything of it. I shut my eyes to attempt to halt the dizziness. That was the worst thing I could have done.

I felt myself falling, but I couldn't stop it. A voice in my head screamed at my arms to hold on, but they didn't listen and I let go of Alecto. I slipped sideways off the saddle, and landed on the ground with a loud thump. My eyes burst open as pain reverberated through the side I'd landed on, and the sounds of the others panicking voices filled my ears. Someone rolled me onto my back, and I looked up at many faces trying to see me at once.

"Xanthe. Xanthe, look at me." Fulcinia's face swam before me, trying to get my attention. I'd hit my head on the ground, and now it was even harder to call any images into focus. My whole left side was throbbing painfully from the impact of hitting the ground.

"Are you hurt?" someone said firmly. The face of the Roman commander replaced Fulcinia's, trying to get me to respond. I blinked, and my eyes seemed to get stuck at the back of my head for a moment as I attempted to open them again.

And then he wasn't speaking to me. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Alecto replied. "She seemed fine, and then she fell so fast I could not catch her."

"Exhaustion," Dagonet's deep voice said surely. "I doubt she's been sleeping."

Somebody was smoothing their hand over my face, and my eyes opened again. It was Fulcinia. She grasped both sides of my head tightly, and locked her brown eyes with mine.

"Do not sleep," she commanded. "You may have a concussion."

I wanted to tell her that I understood, but my mouth didn't form the words. I nodded instead, and immediately wished I hadn't. My head exploded with pain, and there was a pathetic groaning sound like a dying animal. Chagrinned, I realized it was me.

"We have to get her back to the house to be looked at by our healer, and quick in case she tries to sleep," Fulcinia told the men.

"I'll take her."

Suddenly I was being lifted into strong arms, and I looked up into the half-concealed face of Tristan. I saw Fulcinia's cautious confusion, and the suggestive looks exchanged by the other men, causing me to locate my words.

"Unhand me this instant." I meant for it to be loud and certain, but instead it was a whisper that sounded more like a plea.

He ignored me, and put me up on his horse like he had earlier. I was tipping, about to fall the opposite way when he swung up behind me and locked his arm firmly around my waist. I could feel his entire front pressed against my back and the tensed muscles coiled in his arm as he took off into the woods, leaving everyone else dumbfounded in our wake.

He was going faster than the steady pace of before, and the horse bouncing me around was not helping the pounding headache.

"Stop, please," I whimpered, shutting my eyes.

"Can't," he replied gruffly. "Do not go to sleep."

"My head hurts," I told him.

"You just fell from a horse," he pointed out. "Heads tend to hurt after that. Why didn't you tell anyone you were feeling ill?"

"Not ill, just tired."

"You should have told someone."

"I did."

"Who?"

"Marisa."

"Who is Marisa?"

"My maid."

He scoffed. "Yes, and I see how much good that did you."

The rest of the ride was silent besides my occasional groans of pain, or Tristan snapping at me when I closed my eyes for even a second. I chose to stare at him instead, committing him to memory. His face was all sharp angles, nothing soft or babyish left on his masculine features. But something about the harshness of it made it so much more attractive than a man with kindness on his face. I wanted to know every single thing behind that mask. I wanted to know him. I wanted to know what was on his mind all the time, especially when he looked at me as inscrutably as he did now. The distance between us was getting smaller. Was he getting closer or was I?

"Xanthe?"

The panicked shout made me look away from the knight to see Marisa running towards me from the back of the house. Tristan dismounted, slipping me down with him. I swayed, and he grabbed my shoulders to keep me standing. She skidded to a halt in front of me, grabbing my face and looking around me for injuries, pulling me away from Tristan as she did so.

"What happened to you?" she asked worriedly. She was probably only two years older than me at the most, but she acted like a mother hen. The thought made me smile stupidly.

"I fell off my horse," I told her. She gasped.

"Are you okay?"

"My head hurts." I turned to look at Tristan, who was watching us impassively. "Tristan, I think I'm going to fall now."

My knees buckled right when I stopped speaking, and he grabbed me just before I hit the ground.

"Gods, you're a disaster, woman," he growled, hauling me up in his arms again. I giggled hysterically, not knowing why. "Where is her room?"

His question was directed at Marisa, who was glaring at him like he was an animal she wasn't sure of yet. Her eyes flicked from me to him before she turned on the spot and walked away.

"She wants you to follow," I told him when he just stared after her perplexedly. He did so, seemingly unaffected by my weight.

"Am I heavy?" I asked him, detecting the slur in my words.

He snorted. "No. You could do to eat some more after you sleep. Skin and bones."

I poked him in the cheek rather hard, and he seemed a bit taken aback by the gesture. My head slumped against his chest as I fought sleep. "I think I might follow your advice," I informed him obtusely. "I will eat so much that I'll weigh the same as your horse, and then no man will want to touch me. Alecto won't marry me, and Marius won't try and crawl into my bed at night."

Tristan's face spasmed violently as he tried to hide whatever emotion he was feeling. I watched the process interestedly, and then continued, "I want to be ugly, with a lazy eye and missing teeth. I want to have dark hair that doesn't stand out, and green skin."

"Green skin?" he questioned.

"Would you bed a woman with green skin?" I asked. He shook his head. "Point made, sir."

Marisa held the door to my bedroom open, and Tristan carried me over the threshold. I was reminded of brides in my last village being carried into their new homes by their husbands, and suddenly imagined Tristan clean, wearing nice clothes, and carrying me to our marriage bed where he would take what was rightfully his as my spouse. I guffawed at the thought, and Tristan's eyebrows met in a confused line as he set me on my bed.

"I think she may be delusional," he told Marisa smoothly.

"Probably," I replied, grinning. I caught sight of the bruises on my wrists, and held them up to my face. "These hurt."

"Hold on, Xanthe. I shall go and get the doctor," Marisa said, rushing from the room.

She clearly wasn't thinking. She had left Tristan in the room, which would cause for a lot of talk amongst many if a woman betrothed had a strange man alone in her bed chambers. Normally I would have probably made him leave, but my befuddled mind wanted him here him now. He was very out of place in this room that Marisa kept immaculate at all times.

He sat on the edge of my bed, and even in my inebriated state of mind I registered how awkward it was. I stiffened, and he turned to look at me from beneath his tangled mass of loose hair and braids.

"Do I frighten you?" he asked. It sounded tantalizing, almost like a purr. He was baiting me.

"No," I said, voice even quieter than usual. "You confuse me."

"How?"

My eyes were drifting shut, no matter how hard I fought. I said the first thing that came to my mind to keep myself in the realm of the conscious.

"You make me want things that I should not."

I knew I shouldn't have said it, even if it was true. I had known the man for three days, but every time I looked at him my heart would wake from a deep slumber. I did not know him, but my heart recognized him, even now, in every sluggish beat.

"Xanthe!" he snapped, trying to keep me awake. I couldn't anymore though, and my eyes closed.

"I don't remember ever feeling my heart beat until I met you," was the last thing I said before everything was dark.

So if you wanted to know what I act like when I get over-tired, now you know. :P My level of dumbass skyrockets when I'm sleepy, so I attributed that to a character, haha. :)

So review, pretty please. :) For those of you who read Your Tears Are Empty as well, I'm not updating it yet. I'm still waiting to see if I can get a few more reviews before I do. :P I might update later once I'm back from dinner!