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Chapter 7 – We catch up.

Katniss-

About 5 hours after I called Gale, he arrived at my front door.

I was in my living room, thinking about what a stupid idea this was when I heard the doorbell ring and I sat paralyzed for a few moments, this was going to be awkward. I hoped I wouldn't lash out at him, blaming him for what had happened to my little sister.

After he rang the doorbell rang again I decided I couldn't keep him waiting any longer.

I got up, shaking slightly and made my way towards the door.

I braced myself for what was about to come, things could turn out really terrible or really great.

I took a deep breath and turned the door knob. I opened the door and found myself face to face to a boy; well he was a man now, that I had hated just a little while.

He had a nervous look on his face but otherwise smiled at me.

I looked in to his gray eyes and saw a small resemblance to the boy I had met in those plentiful woods long ago.

No matter how many scars he earned though out the years or how he styled his hair , his face remained almost the same and those seam eyes always were a dark shade of gray , they always looked rough , blocking out everybody , they looked dangerous and would scare you of he was glaring at you.

But , like now , they sometimes looked scared , many years ago they were scared that he wouldn't have food to bring back to his family , but now , I wasn't sure why they were afraid.

I decided to break the ice and said "Gale...".

He stared at me and then said my name.

Without hesitation, without asking, without thinking about it, I flung myself in to his arm.

He hesitated though, as I was going to pull away, he gripped my waist and then wrapped his arms around me.

"Gale" I said in to his neck.

I cried, I wasn't sure why, but it felt good to have someone to shelter you from the world, to hide you.

It felt good to have a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder that would hide your tear streaked face away as you wept.

It felt good crying, I had so many emotions bundled up that I was forced to release them all at once.

"I missed you catnip" he admitted to my neck, I smiled and hugged my arms around his neck tighter.

"I missed you too Gale" I told him. I took in the situation I was in; I took in his buff arms around my waist, his smell which was fresh scented cologne.

I noticed I was slowly recovering and wasn't crying as hard as I was a while ago.

But, I also realized this felt ... Wrong.

I mean, sure, Gale was my best friend once upon a time, but I felt this wasn't the person I wanted comforting me.

I wanted another man, one with blonde hair and blue eyes.

The one person that with two words could harm me as well as heal me.

The one man who could brighten up my day with a simple sentence.

I wanted Peeta.

What was I thinking on calling Gale? I wasn't thinking, that's it.

When we finally pulled away, he looked into my eyes and then kissed my cheek.

I blushed then turned around to face the inside of my house, as I invited him in.

When we were both sitting at the table silently he asked "so, how's life been treating you?" I stared at him, not sure if I should get mad or just shake it off. How was life treating me?

Was he joking?

Well, life was not fair all right.

"What do you think?" I asked back.

He looked down at his hands and said nothing.

Okay maybe I was a little too hard on him; after all he did come after I called him.

"Sorry, it's just that, that's not a good way of asking. I feel horrible Gale."

He looked up at me, concern in his faced and asked"why? What happened?"

I took a deep breath and continued "I don't feel like living anymore, I don't really feel like I'm needed, like I'm useful, I'm not even allowed to hunt!"

I waited a few moments before he responded "well, try to find something you're good at that doesn't involve pointy objects. And for the not living anymore feelings, as long as you not trying to kill yourself, I wouldn't worry" he said the last part chuckling.

'Oh if you only knew' I thought.

I felt sort of guilty or ashamed even.

I guess it probably showed on my face because he stared at me, raising an eyebrow and said "Katniss... What does that look mean? Don't tell me you've -".

I couldn't hear him talk anymore I felt anger start to boil inside me, so I yelled "yes! Okay maybe I did try to kill myself! I couldn't take any more of this shit of a life style! I had it with being lonely! Maybe I wouldn't have needed to feel that way if you hadn't left me for that 'fancy' "I made quotation marks with my fingers in midair while I said fancy " Job! The only reason while I'm still breathing is because Peeta came in and rescued me! When will I stop owing this boy?" That last part I really said to myself.

I was angry at Gale; he had abandoned me when I most needed him.

"I needed you Gale, but where was my best friend? The one who promised that would be there always? In district 2 with his stupid girlfriend! You changed me for her? You knew I was destroyed after what happened to Prim, and you know what? I think you had some part if that little event! She meant the world to me, and you took her from me, Thanks Gale. I'm sorry I even called you." I finished slamming my palms on the table and then crossing my arms in front of my chest.

I had tears running down my face, when I said 'you' to him, I was really talking to the capital, to Snow and everybody else that belonged to that repulsive city.

I knew Gale wouldn't have ever harmed Prim much less kill her but, I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me when he disappeared from my life.

He stared at me in shock; I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just confused.

His face was expressionless. "Answer me!" I screamed at him.

"I didn't feel you needed me anymore, since you had bread boy with you over here! You want to know why I accepted that job so far away? Because I wanted to be as far away from you and Peeta as I could. I couldn't stand the idea if you two prancing around district twelve hand in hand. I'm sorry that you feel I abandoned you Katniss but I just couldn't do it. And for your information I had no clue about the parachutes that killed your sister!"

He said as a tear glistened in his eye.

"I had no idea, I swear on everything I am and love that I didn't know and I will never forgive myself for that, I was on that hovercraft, yes I was! But how was I supposed to know? I am truly sorry Katniss. I cared for Prim as if she was my little sister and I would not have done anything ever to harm her." He said sternly staring me down daring me to answer him.

I didn't know what to say, I opened my mouth slightly, waiting for something to come out but nothing did.

Then he said "Yeah and I'm sorry you called me too".

I burst in to more tears because he really did it with the last sentence. I crossed my arms on the table and rested my head on them, sobbing.

He waited a few moments and then said "stop crying, I didn't mean for you to get upset, but it's really annoying that I had to borrow a hovercraft, fly five freaking hours to this place, see the whole district destroyed just to come and argue with you. If you wanted to fight, we should have done so on the phone." I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"Damn you Gale" I said laughing.

He sounded like a five-year old that was pouting.

He smiled at me.

"Who was the girl who answered your phone?" I asked with a small voice

He blushed and said "Oh nobody… just a girl."

"What's her name? I swear I know her voice" I said with a teasing voice.

"Well, after the rebellion we started talking and comparing weapon preferences and-"

I interrupted him by saying "Tell me her name Gale".

" Her name is Johanna."

When he said that I was completely shocked.

'Johanna? That was interesting' I thought to myself.

"Well , I guess you guys suit each other." I said flatly.

I wasn't jealous, well I was but it was a sisterly form of jealously.

He once told me he loved me, but I really didn't accept it.

He moved on much quicker than I thought.

Then Gale asked me "How's Peeta? " Instantly I frowned.

"Fine I think. Well I haven't seen him since this morning at about 9. He is sort of really mad at me." I told him.

Gale rolled his eyes and asked me why.

So I told him about my conversation with Haymitch four days ago and how our perfect morning turned into a heartbreaking event.

I told him about Peeta leaving and what I said to Haymitch.

Gale remained silent the whole time.

But then he asked "Wait, what was Peeta doing here at nine in the morning?"

I felt my face flush, why did he care what Peeta did?

"He…um sort of spent the night at here. I mean after he cleaned my cuts, cooked dinner went to his house and came back he stayed here and we slept together, don't get the wrong idea though." I rushed through my words as I said them.

"What? What do you mean he cleaned your cuts?" I shyly showed him my wrists.

He grabbed them and stared for a little while.

"This is how you tried to die Katniss? This is how you repaid everybody that died in the war? This is how you repaid Prim? You should honor them by staying alive! I can't believe this happened." He paused when he saw my tears and calmed down.

"I'm sorry, I just… I'm just grateful Peeta did come back to district twelve after all, I don't think I would have reacted the way he did." He admitted then getting up and hugging me.

Then I got up to receive his hug.

As he pulled away the doorbell rang.

I looked in the direction of the door and wondered who it could possibly be.

I wasn't expecting anybody apart from Gale.

"I'll go get it" he told me and he made his way towards the door.