Enjoy.
Hugo-cous!
Notice how we've come back to school and Lily's a bit more-sad? Sigh-y? I think she got rejected by someone. I mean, I can't think of who, since Lysander is still pandering after, but between the two of us (Could've been three, but Rose is like Lily but worse. I think she broke up with someone) I'm sure we can find out!
¬Lucy
§º§
Lucy¬
On it. Let's get looking. Ask around and stuff, dig through her things. Let's fix it so we can cheer her up!
Damn, this has been one broken school year...
+Hugo
§º§
Z,
I ended writing a letter to Lily and I ended writing that I love her but it was only a few words tacked on at the end and before I was writing about how it's her fault my grandfather can swear so she thought I was meant the opposite and now she thinks I hate her and AGH! WHY do women have to be so aggravating?
Help... I've never had to deal with anyone like her...
-Scorpius–
§º§
Score~
So she's a WOMAN now... Huh. Well, time to face the truth, man, you're just a masochist. She's beats you up and you come crawling back for more, eyes bright and puppy ears in beg mode. If your last girlfriend wanted to keep your attention this long, she should have pulled out the verbal whip. (Actually, on that note, when were you last dating someone? Last school year?) Besi
Wait... Back up there... Your grandfather? Swear? What? I mean, yeah, he can spit the word half-blood with the same venom as a king cobra, but... Swear? As in... Curse words?
I... Need to sit on the floor...
◊Z
§º§
Dear Dad,
I am about to present a hypothetical situation. Got that in mind? Okay, good.
Let's pretend that there's this girl. She's cute, sweet, hot, whatever. She has a personality and looks. (A strong personality, I might add. If it was bottled they wouldn't be able to sell it to minors. We can compare it to flavored vodka) Let's pretend that I have feelings for her.
Now let's pretend that if I say or write anything in a situation where it can be misinterpreted, she will, fifty percent guaranteed. Let's say that she has, at least once, caused me physical pain, and let's also say that she has both put words in my mouth and taken that skill away more than once or for prolonged periods of time.
Now it's starting to sound disturbing or just pitiful, let me make it worse. She does this and I just come back for more. The time I actually admit to liking her, she thinks I'm being sarcastic and is convinced I hate her!
Help? Be fatherly and please give me advice.
-Scorpius–
§º§
Dear Score§
Congratulations, you've met your future wife.
No, I'm serious.
You see, in the Malfoy family, there is a tradition. When it comes to who we fall for, we're masochistic bastards who will gladly let our wives kick us in the face for a chance to gaze at her from our obvious position as slave.
Ask your grandfather about that one, he has an interesting story. It might disturb you slightly, however, so never ask if you intend to sleep within the next seventy-two hours.
I'm not quite sure where this trait comes from. I think from a mixture of overlarge egos, being told to surround ourselves with equals and our inbred hatred of hurting women. (I'll share my personal experience with that one. Hermione Weasley punched me in the face. Then Astoria. Guess who hit harder? And yes, that's why I had to get a broken nose repaired the day before our first date, and also why Madam Weasley can considered a friend of mine)
I sent along a cheque book. Merlin knows you're going to need it.
Don't get killed,
§Dad
§º§
[A note passed in DADA]
Z, you don't want to know what sort of advice my dad sent me.
Always wear a condom? Invest in anti-scar?
Worse: I come from a family of masochists. And according to him, I'll end up marrying our little whip-carrying flower.
Like I said! Invest in anti-scar. And as far as wives go, she wouldn't be too bad. Imagine getting to screw her constantly.
I'll pass. Lyra's looking this way, and I really don't want her to see that...
Heh. Sorry, that was a dick move, wasn't it?
Very funny, Z.
§º§
Rose¬
This is your concerned younger brother: What's gotten into you? I'm really worried. I mean, I don't need details or anything, but just give me some sort of vague reason so I stop worrying that you've been cursed...
+Hugo
§º§
Hugo;
Thank for noticing and worrying. You might never know what it means to me, that someone actually does.
Well, unfortunately, I had a short-term boyfriend, for a few weeks, and I really, really, liked him, but... Shit happened, okay? So I had to dump him.
Instead of sending a flying note, just come up to the girl's dorm. (This is written permission) You sister wants little brother cuddles.
Regards;
R*W
§º§
Hugo-cous,
Got anything? I got nothing on Lily-mazing. About to go dorm-raiding.
¬Lucy
§º§
Luce¬
Rose had a secret relationship and then dumped him for some reason. I'll see if I can find out more, since she's so depressed she's demanding sibling cuddle-time.
+Hugo
§º§
Score~
Lack of girl depression hitting all time low. Considering snogging Lyra just for some lip contact. Advice?
◊Z
§º§
Zabini,
Play Wizard.
Ice water.
Meg Peters, who's been fawning after you forever.
-Score–
§º§
Score~
Tried that. Not enough red-heads or brunettes.
Might consider.
No. She's two years below me (Your name is now Pedo for even suggesting that) and a complete virgin. She wouldn't know a damn thing about anything.
◊Z
§º§
Lyra Nott~
Need someone to snog for half an hour or so. You game?
◊Z
§º§
Zabini,
Sure!
˚Lyra
There was supposed to be a heart after the word sure. FF doesn't like hearts...