[A/N] Here we go folks. Just in case you're wondering the italics is Seijimaru's (My name for Sesshy's father) scroll. Review please!! Special thanx to Ikasury, Hattaru and Ronwixziv ( I can actually spell that without looking!) Their reviews inspire me a lot. Cookies go to all my reviwers!! Thank you so much!! Enjoy!
Ningen Impossibilities
Chapter Six
You may think me weak. But I tell you, my son, I was disgusted when I first contracted the symptoms. At first I thought she had bewitched me with some sort of wicked ningen spell. I found myself thinking about her, her smell and the way she held her fan to hide her face. Then I wanted to be near her. I thought perhaps I was just curious and she was simply interesting. But Sesshoumaru, there was only so many delusions I could feed myself until I realized. I wanted to be around her, to see her, to hold her. I was in turmoil. Can you imagine having a son, of whom you have diligently instilled millenniums worth of youkai tradition, just to contradict it yourself? How do you think I felt, torn between everything I had ever known and then something entirely new and enticing? It was slow and torturous. I never picked her over you, Sesshoumaru. I wanted you to see things in the way I was, I wanted you to accept her and maybe we could be happy. I see that it is not to be. But I tell you, my son, you are not exempt from finding yourself brought to your knees before someone whom you will see as inferior to you. Karma will not be kind to you Sesshoumaru. You will see that you are as mortal as ningens when it comes to affairs of the heart.
Sesshoumaru slammed the scroll down. Although he was almost finished with it's entirety, he had read enough. Did this old man think that writing this would change anything? Sesshoumaru cast his eyes toward the sky. The moon was high. He had been reading all day and yet he felt no sense of profound enlightenment. Just more of an understanding of his miserable father's demise. He supposed that was enough to say that his travel to the East was not completely useless. The Western Lord stood and made his way to the room that housed Rin. She was breathing heavily and her fist would tighten and untighten with every breath. Sesshoumaru could practically smell the burning blood within her veins. He stepped closer and her eyes flew open. He didn't think she was conscious. Her body lurched on it's own, her back arching wildly for a moment before settling again. Sesshoumaru was impressed, even through her very obvious torture, she was not uttering a sound.
"My Lord." She sounded almost normal, beside the hiccup in her pitch that couldn't be helped. "They tell me I will die soon." Her eyes held no apprehension. Sesshoumaru could feel his pride swelling. She truly was fearless.
"You will." He stated in his usual detached manner. "No one is familiar with this poison or how to counteract it. You will most likely die before any solutions are found."
Rin made some sort of head jerking movement that Sesshoumaru interpreted as a nod. "I have a request." She lifted her eyes to meet his in a way that was unusual. As if she dared him to turn down her request.
He was intrigued. "Speak."
"I wish to be buried in the West. I wish for you to recant my exile, so my body may regain my honor and I may rest in peace. I will not be able to if you do not."
Sesshoumaru paced around the room. For him to recant her exile was akin to him acquiescing to the fact that he had been wrong. Was this some sort of final act to humiliate him. "Why? What difference does it make where your corpse is buried?"
"It may not make a difference to you, but to me I have been wrongly accused, thrown from my home and humiliated. My last wish is to return to where I lived the happiest years of my life. Please my Lord, can I not have that?"
Sesshoumaru was spared having to decipher his feelings as Nanjo stepped into the room. "Good, have you decided to save her?" he asked lightly.
Rin whipped her head toward him and then closed her eyes in pain. Sesshoumaru stared at his elder wondering if he had just done that on purpose. "I will not give her my blood, Nanjo."
"Save me?" She whispered confused. Her Lord actually could save her? But he had just said that no one knew how to counteract the poison. In all her life she had never known her Lord to lie. "You can save me?" She croaked again looking to the silver haired Inu.
"That method is impossible. I will not give you my blood so that you may become the same as my brother."
Nanjo stepped forward his voicing losing all lightness and taking an almost authoritive resound. Sesshoumaru felt his hackles rise. "You are going to let this young ningen, the very same you saved from wolves, die because of this prejudice you have of hanyous? Sesshoumaru I have always known you to make perfect decisions and think logically and objectively no matter what, but right now you are letting your emotions rule you. You can save her and yet your hatred for hanyous will let her die."
"She does not belong to me anymore. I am not responsible for her life or her death. If it is my blood that is needed then find Inuyasha! We share the same blood."
"How can we find Inuyasha and bring him here when she has only three hours of life left?" Rin's back arched wildly and hit the cot again. She was slipping into unconsciousness. "Why are you being so stubborn?"
Sesshoumaru gazed at her. She was unconscious. Her breathing had deepened, no less erratic, but deeper. Why did he feel he could say this now? "I feel something that I should not. Perhaps with her gone it will fade as well." His voice was strong and decisive as always but his insides were in turmoil. And for that he hated her more.
Nanjo turned sharply from his kin. He inhaled to keep his usually even keeled temper. "She has done it. She has broken through that impenetrable fortress that you have put around yourself, that every demoness in all of Nippon has tried to break, and you will kill her for it."
"I had nothing to do with the attempt on her life. She was to remain somewhere safe but here she is. And now she is dying and you are saying that I killed her because I will not make her hanyou? I saved her once before. I ceased to be her guardian and with that she lost my protection. Why would I waste my blood on someone who is not only a weakness to me, but a potential enemy?"
"Sesshoumaru you can dress it in all the political glamour you want but the truth remains the same. She is a ningen girl on the verge of becoming a woman. She has depended on you her entire life and has never failed you. Never. Yet something goes awry and you banish her in one fell swoop. Now she is on her death bed and you will do nothing but turn your head. Do you think this will make you less accountable? You can save her, but you will not." Nanjo turned to face him, his eyes burned with something Sesshoumaru had never seen directed toward him.
Disappointment and accusation. Sesshoumaru grit his teeth and snarled silently against the feeling rising in his chest. Rin was not his responsibility! "Cease this Nanjo. What I have said is final."
"She has seen nothing but you, knows nothing but you and this is how you repay her? You pride yourself in being a loyal and good leader but you are betraying her as she lays before and dies!"
"I don't want to hear any more." Sesshoumaru bit out. He was outright growling now
"I remember when you brought her into your palace for the first time. You asked me how to care for a ningen female. You must know that since that day she has served none but you. Not even herself. You come first Sesshoumaru, and for the first time in her life she is requiring you to do something for her or else she will die and you rather she die!"
Sesshoumaru snarled and headed for the door. "You will not guilt me into changing my decision."
Nanjo shook his head. "I am not trying to guilt you pup, you are guilting yourself." Sesshoumaru was gone. He secluded himself into the chamber he stayed in whenever he stayed in the East. He didn't know how long he sat there, near the shoji door entrance, locked into his own mind, struggling with what he thought was right. Helping Rin, saving her, would be like welcoming her back into the West. He didn't need her there, he didn't want her there. He didn't want her anywhere near him. He was fighting himself and his cursed honor when she gave a horrifying scream. Sesshoumaru was in the room before he knew how.
Rin's body pushed upward, her limbs flailed in different directions. But these things were not what made Sesshoumaru's eyes go wide with shock. It was the unearthly screaming that he had never heard fall from her lips. Even when she had screamed that night in the woods with the assassins at her back, she had not screamed in this manner. Now, with her eyes wide and tears falling, she clawed at the sleeves of Sesshoumaru's white hoari, staining them red from the blood leaking out of the pores of her skin. He could see her pain, smell death as the poison burned the blood right out of her body. Her eyes were blood shot, her mouth a disconcerting shade of red. She pulled him closer, her eyes never leaving his as she jerked on the table. He was aware that before this moment, the thought of her dying had been just that. A thought. He had no problem watching any other species die, but not her. Not the one person he had sworn to protect. He was aware of her hand on his. It took amazing strength and control of her limbs to keep it from thrashing about. Her tiny ningen hand covered his large claws and she dragged his hand up to her neck. It was soaked with blood literally leaking from her pores.
She opened her mouth to speak but all that came was a straggled sound. Her hand closed, dragging his claws across her skin. Like paper, it tore, opening to reveal the black liquid that was taking over her body. The smell of her burning insides assaulted his nose. He could see the cords that kept all life alive by carrying blood, shriveled and burnt black. Her body jerked more violently and then she stopped, her mouth falling open. Her final breath was used to say her final message. Even with his acute hearing Sesshoumaru instinctively leaned closer to hear her whisper. "I'm sorry."
His world clicked together instantly. She was dying, practically dead and yet she used the last breath her body had to apologize to him. She was no traitor, no usurper. She was Rin, the ningen girl that he had taken into his home and raised to be perfect. She was his. She belonged to him and someone had taken her away. On the cot in front of her she laid dead. Her eyes open, still gazing at him, willing him to see her honesty even after death. Sesshoumaru left. He ran down the hallway toward his chamber.
"Nanjo." He called loud enough for the old Inu to hear. He grabbed Tenseiga from his chamber and raced back to Rin. Nanjo arrived after him. His face fell as soon as he entered. Sesshoumaru paid him no attention. "Call your physician." He said simply. Unsheathing the sword he waited for the demons coming to take Rin's soul. He had already used the Tenseiga on her once, so he would not be able to save her with it. He would, however, be able to buy some time. They came quickly, ready to take what was denied from them before, but he banished them. They would be back and before they came he needed her to live again. She started her soul slamming back into her body. She would have to relive the last moments of her life again, and for that Sesshoumaru felt sorry. She screamed that agonizing scream unaware that she had even died.
The demon physician was there in the same moment. "Take my blood and hurry, she has but minutes to live." The youkai moved fast he cut open her clothes to expose only the skin right above her left breast where he heart was.
"You must cut your finger deeply, you need to bleed for at least thirty seconds. Then insert your finger right into her heart. No one else has done this, we simply fed the blood to her veins, but we haven't the time. Here," He indicated a place between two ribs. "go about four inches down. Do not run it through or it will never close and she will bleed to death."
Sesshoumaru already had his finger to his mouth. Using his teeth he slid his finger from his knuckle to his nail opening a large gash that welled up blood immediately. He placed his claw directly on the spot indicated while the youkai held Rin down. Quickly he pushed down and Rin screamed. He felt the soft organ give way and his blood leaked and was pumped through her body. The results came quickly. Her thrashing subsided and her transition began. It started with her skin. Sesshoumaru could actually follow the progression of his blood as it left a trail of skin even more pale than her original complexion. Her face stayed the same but the color of her eyes intensified. Her original hazel became more of a mixture of green and brown, each color separately distinguishable. Her ears sharpened at the tips and her fingers elongated. They could hear her muscles tighten into cords of power and her skin harden with layers and layers of itself. Her hairs stayed the same dark brown. Sesshoumaru could feel her heart repairing itself trying to close itself around his finger. Slowly he pulled it out and watched her skin close before his eyes. But something was not right. Her smell was not of a hanyou. She didn't smell much different than before. Her eyes remained open but unseeing and she had yet to breathe again.
Sesshoumaru stood back and watched two magenta crests emerged from the knuckle of her two middle fingers, coil once around her wrists and start in the opposite direction up her arm. They ended there, shaped like they were cut off. Nanjo stood next to him. "Youkai." Was all he said. Sesshoumaru was genuinely confused. She did not smell youkai and yet she had his crests. She breathed in deeply and sat up so quickly it was disconcerting to see her move that fast. Rin had always moved quickly, but she was still ningen and thus could only move but so fast. But now she moved as fast as a youkai and just with the gesture of sitting up, Sesshoumaru could tell she would be a force to be reckoned with in combat. Her eyes were glazed over, suddenly something lodged in her throat and she turned to the side to spit it up. The black poison came out in a large wad. She stared at it in wonder. She could smell it and everything else in the room. It was threatening to give her a headache.
"Rin." It was his voice. She had heard it but never had she heard it so well. It was a perfect baritone pitch. Calm with no waver, strong and steady like a stream though he had only said one very short word. Her name. She turned to him and saw his face. But never had she seen his face like this. It was smooth, no it was taut of over the bones of his cheeks and jaw. His eyes held no secrets but was lined with curiosity. His lips were fuller than she remembered and his nose more delicate that she had recognized. Immediately it was easier to see his mother in him than ever before. She remembered the face of the fearless youkai female on the main corridor of the Western palace. He had her lips, her nose and her fine eyebrows. But he had his fathers eyes, cheeks and crests. Something was bothering her. Slowly she brought her legs to the ground and walked toward him. She was still the same height coming to right under his chin. She raised her hand and approached his confused face. Her fingers touched his cheek to wipe away a tiny speckle of her blood. She brought her had back down and passed out, falling limply. Sesshoumaru caught her as a reflex. "What is wrong with her?" He bit out before he could stop himself.
"She only needs to adjust to the blood in her veins, Lord Sesshoumaru." The physician said in a hurry, not wanting to incur the wrath of the lord.
"Come," Nanjo spoke. " I will give her a new room away from the smell of sickness and death.
Sesshoumaru shook his head. "No." Was all he said as he walked out of the room, down the corridor to his own personal chamber. He laid Rin on his bed. He had meant to watch her breathing to make sure nothing was wrong but his eyes were heavy and for the first time in a long time, he felt truly exhausted.
Rin was used to waking before the sun, even with the sun, but never had it shone so harshly behind her eyelids. Events from last night passed through her brain within an instant before she even opened her eyes. She decided to smell before she saw. She stayed silent and still. She could smell him, he was so near. Rin felt him next the heat from his body right next to hers. Very slowly she opened her eyes to see the ceiling, and turned her head to the right. He was there, asleep, his head right above hers, his long silver hair stewn about. She took a silent but deep breath. She couldn't describe his smell by something already existing. He smelled like power, strength, danger, loyalty. She could discern the hormones that made him smell distinctly male to her and she could pinpoint where the scent was strongest. She restrained from burying her face in his neck and breathing deep. His breathing pattern was changing, quick as lightning she closed her eyes and leveled her breathing as he opened his. He was up instantly, probably disliking the vicinity of their bodies. Rin opened her eyes as if she was waking for the first time. By the time she sat up he was on the verandah.
"Collect your things, bathe and change. We are returning to the West." He spoke simply.
Rin felt her breath hitch. She didn't realize she hadn't moved until he turned to look at her. Immediately she was up and bowed. "Yes my Lord." And then she was gone running down the corridors to find the head maid of the Eastern palace.
"My Lord," Rin spoke as they walked along out of the palace. "may I stop at Inuyasha's village?"
"That is not on the way."
Rin was silent not sure what that meant but sure it was not a 'yes'. Au-Un followed behind them as the left the front terrace. Her Lord had left Jaken at the palace. "My Lord, how will we get to the West?" She asked curious. Her days of riding Au-Un with Sesshoumaru were long gone. If ever needed she rode and he ran next to them. He pointed in a direction and unstrapped his swords from his body to strap them to Au-Un. He motioned for her to do the same. Ijo and Yijo purred under her touch. "We run." He said. He looked at her for a moment and then took off. His dragon took to the sky and Rin took after him. She had expected to be fast, but she was still nowhere near his speed. As if on purpose he stayed at least thirty feet ahead of her. She was positive he was still not going as fast as possible. They ran this way until the moon rose, but she still didn't tire. They had developed a rhythm that Rin found was easy to follow. By the same time next morning she could see the signs of ningen villages that belonged to Inuyasha. She resisted the urge to veer off and by dusk that day they entered the Western Palace.
The household was a mixture of confused, elated, scared and wary. Jaken was the first to open his large reptilian mouth. He squawked. "Rin is that you?!" She nodded tentitavely aware that her lord was watching.
"I am home." She said smiling true to her heart. She bent and gave Jaken a hug. He hugged her back at first then squabbled away chiding her for using ningen attributes when she was clearly not ningen anymore. Rin made quick work of falling back into the routine of Lady of the Western Palace. Still she was having a hard time getting the message through to the head maid a snake youkai, that had taken her place for almost half a year. At times Rin even thought the woman was a bit disrespectful. She wrote a letter to Inuyasha and Kagome telling them some of what happened and promising she would be by to visit as soon as she set up here. What she didn't expect was for them to show up two days later.
She was walking along the almost eight foot wide stone barrage, like she did most mornings when she saw them coming. Only Inuyasha, Kagome and Sango. Delighted Rin jumped not just down, but leapt all the way over to them, running the twenty feet to them and hugged both women at the same time, then she hugged Inuyasha. The stood her back and stared at her.
"Well she don't look much different." Inuyasha observed. He sniffed and made a face. "So what are you?" he asked. "You don't smell hanyou, ningen or youkai."
Rin shrugged still not bothered enough to stop smiling. "I'm so happy you're here!"
Kagome smiled a knowing smile. "And I'm and so happy you are as well. You're home again Rin."
The girl nodded, telling herself she wouldn't cry. She had cried enough as a ningen, no more. "Come I'm sure my Lord will be pleased." As she had said the brothers greeted each other with snarls and well placed remarks. They sat around the same table used when they had come before. Rin signaled for the snake youkai to come. "Please bring tea." She said simply the female nodded but then called her again. "Oh and rice balls for Inuyasha." The maid returned with the tea tray and set it down in front of Rin instead of pouring it. Another sign of disrespect. Rin threw her hand out catching the woman in the throat before she could stand back up. She pulled her closer, her eyes never leaving the tea tray. The table quieted and the surrounding servants watched avidly. It was well known that Rin was kind and forgiving, but could be just as ruthless as her Lord. "Why do you insist on disrespecting me?" She asked kindly. With her other hand she opened the tea pot, no steam came out. "The water is cold and there is not enough cups." She tightened her grip and the maid gasped. Rin sighed and lifted her eyes to find the green ones of her hostage. "You will go and make the tea I asked and if the water does not boil when you pour it in each cup, then you will boil alive before the sun goes down."
Blood had spilled all down her arm to stain her pretty yellow kimono. She sighed, stood and threw the maid where she had been sitting. Walking to the door she bowed. "Excuse me, I must go change." Sesshoumaru nodded, barely keeping a smirk from his lips. Rin let her hand hang beside her, dripping blood as she walked out of the doorway. "Clean that up." She gave the soft command and indicated the pool at her spot and the drops she was leaving to the young maid that opened the door.
She bowed low. "Yes, Lady."
"Thank you." And with that Rin disappeared down the hall to her chamber.
[A/N] Tell me what think ya!! I simply must know how you felt through the whole 'dying' scene! Did I give you a scare?? Oh please review and tell me!