Things I own: a nutcracker, a Spanish-English dictionary, some pretzels. Things I do not own: HP and any characters you recognize.
"It took so long just to feel all right
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes.
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed,
'Cause you broke all your promises."
- "Jar of Hearts," Christina Perri
Being a girl really was a hassle.
Going to a party meant that everyone had to look presentable; that much was obvious. But for a girl, this included hair, makeup, wardrobe, the whole nine yards. Really, so much preparation when by the end of the night, I looked a mess anyway.
I finished up Jenny's makeup and walked over to my vanity, looking for a headband that would match my black and white dress.
"Nice job, Lilykins," Jenny said while inspecting herself in the mirror. She fixed her hair, which had the most beautiful natural waves. It really made me jealous: my hair was pin-straight.
"Stage make-up has given me practice over the years," I answered back easily, adjusting the bow on the headband I had chosen while slipping on a pair of black pumps. "How do I look?"
Jenny looked over and inspected my outfit, giving me a thumbs up. "Glam, Lilykins. How about me?" She twirled around rather extravagantly, ensuring that her skirt flared out.
I laughed at her antics. Jenny was probably the least girly out of the four of us: she was always much more athletic and a bit of a tomboy thanks to her Jeff, her older brother. In fifth year, though, the commentator mentioned (for the entire school to hear) how toned her legs were. She had given up knee socks and had altered her skirts ever since. "Fabulous as usual. Your beanpoles look great," I told her.
"Seems those squats have been working then," she answered happily. She looked at her watch and frowned slightly. "We should probably get going soon, it's nearly eight."
"Right, let's go then." I grabbed my purse from the top of my dresser and we made our way downstairs, where George was waiting for us in the foyer.
"Are we driving? Because I don't think it would be wise of us to drive if we…you know…" he trailed off, not wanting to say anything too crazy in case Dad was lurking around.
"I can charm the car to drive us back, but we can walk, too. It's not very far," I replied easily, starting to head out. Jenny followed me.
"It's at McAvoy's place, right?" George asked me.
"Yeah, so it's just at the other end of the street."
"All right, I guess we can walk. Besides, I'll be around so the two of you won't be kidnapped," George smirked. "Looking good, both of you. Who are you trying to impress, Alecky?"
"I'm just naturally stunning," I shot back.
"I've always wondered," Jenny cut in, looking slightly confused, "George, why do you call Lily 'Alecky'?"
George laughed. "When Lily was younger, she could pronounce her x properly, so she used to tell people that her middle name was Alecksandra rather than Alexandra. It just kind of stuck."
"What if I called you Alecky?" Jenny asked me, a slight smirk appearing on her face.
"Do not even dare. George is the only one allowed to do it," I told her. I didn't particularly hate my middle name (I couldn't…it was my mother's name), but it definitely was not my favorite name in the world. The less people knew, the happier my existence would be. "By the way, what's our curfew?"
George grinned evilly. "Technically, midnight."
"What do you mean 'technically'?" Jenny asked, anticipating my question.
"Well, I'm a guy, so it doesn't matter for me. The issue is more you two, but seeing as you two are both skilled in ways I am not, I'm sure you can figure something out," he replied.
"Fair enough," Jenny said.
We eventually made it to Robbie McAvoy's house, where the party was already in full swing. Almost immediately, we were assaulted by some of our friends from primary school, some whom I hadn't seen in quite a while.
"George! Lily!" I looked to my left and found myself enveloped in a bear hug from one of my oldest friends and my next-door neighbour, Adrian Marsden.
"Why, hello, Adrian," I said, grinning hugely at him. I would save the berating about cutting my oxygen for later.
"Long time, no see, Lilykins!" he told me, passing Jenny and me a mimosa and proceeding to shake George's hand. "You're Jenny, right? Hard to forget you."
Jenny blushed slightly. The first time they had met last summer, the sparks between them had been undeniable. Nothing had come out of it, and now that Jenny was with Ethan, it was highly unlikely something would occur tonight, unless Sam had managed to corrupt her mind. "Yeah," she answered slowly, nodding.
"Sam's already here with her new boyfriend and his friend." Adrian nodded towards his left, and I could see Sam in the distance, looking ravishing in her red dress. If Sam wasn't one of my best friends, it was quite possibly that we would hate each other. My red hair was a major curse, particularly when it came to clothing or beach days.
Whoa, freeze. Her new boyfriend and…
"His friend?" Jenny asked sharply. "Who?"
"Some bloke named James. He seems really cool though, plan on continuing to converse with him after I finish the general greeting rounds. Catch you guys later, yeah?" With that, Adrian gave us a wink and continued to the next group of people. Little mister social butterfly.
Jenny and I looked at each other, slightly stricken. My life, it seems, had been plotting against me. Lovely.
George led the way over to Sam, who was standing beside Sirius and the one and only James Potter.
"Well, Sam, I must say you do clean up decently," George told her, smirking.
"Yeah, you're not looking too shabby yourself. Almost as good as a roach," she retorted.
"Such a charming young girl. And you must be Sam's boyfriend," George said addressing Sirius and holding out his hand.
"The one and only Sirius Black. You are…?"
"George Evans. Good meeting you, but if you hurt Sam, I'll have to hurt you as well. Part of the whole 'little sister's best friend's protection' agreement."
"Understandable, I suppose," Black replied, looking rather defiant. "I didn't know you had a brother, Evans. Guess I'll have to be more careful when it comes to pranking you."
"Good to see you, too, Black," I retorted drily. Where did this boy learn his manners? Oh, right, he never did.
"And you are…?" George asked, turning to James.
"James Potter," Potter replied, shaking George's hand and smirking as usual. One day, his face was going to get stuck like that. Oh, his poor fan club would be devastated…
"I've heard of you before," George said thoughtfully.
"Oh?" Potter inquired, with the smallest of glances in my direction.
A panic began to rise in my stomach. Would George be cruel enough to divulge that I brought Potter up in conversations before? That would just give him ideas and inflate his already overly large head.
Might as well start digging my grave now.
Apparently, though, I severely underestimated George's familial loyalties. "Yeah, you're Jenny's Captain correct?"
I breathed a sigh of relief. Sam noticed and proceeded to laugh while taking a sip from her mimosa. She then promptly choked.
Karma's a bitch.
Potter looked a little put-out by George's response. Served him right, getting ideas like that. "Oh, yeah, I play Quidditch with her," he recovered quickly.
"So, uh, James," George responded in a low voice, sneaking a glance at those surrounding us. "How exactly do you play Quidditch? I play rugby and football, see, and when Lily explains it, it sounds rather fascinating."
"What's rugby?" asked Black, Potter, and Jenny in unison. Oh, little naïve purebloods.
Sam's eyes widened. "Oh hell no, we are not going into a discussion on sports," she said, looking horrified at the very idea.
"We are," Potter replied easily, pointing at Black, Jenny, George, and himself. "You two are welcome to listen."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Sam answered hotly.
"Well, your flying skills aren't exactly the greatest, Parker," he said calmly.
Even though her glare was directed at Potter, it scared me to no end. Clearly, Potter did not know that she had once punched (and broken) Claudia Wallace's nose after she had seen her with the guy she was dating at the time. By accident, of course.
Potter, however, did not look disturb in the slightest. Prick.
"Come on, Lily," Sam said, grabbing my hand and dragging me away from the group.
"Where are we going?" I asked her, slightly scared for my well-being.
"To get piss drunk," she answered, flashing me a grin. "There are martinis inside the house."
"Shaken or stirred?" I wondered aloud. Sam chuckled.
The inside of the house was crowded enough to give anyone claustrophobia, a feeling that only intensified when some of my old Muggle friends starting coming up to greet us.
"Lookin' good, ladies!"
"Cute shoes, Lily! Where'd you get them?"
"Sam, your hair looks amazing!"
"We are just so popular!" Sam said to me, rolling her eyes and then making a gagging noise. She grabbed two martinis from the bar and passed one to me. There was something immensely satisfying in a martini.
"It seems Black's arrogance has been rubbing off on you. Next thing you know, you'll be pulling pranks on unsuspecting first-years," I told her with a smirk.
"Negative. I much prefer pranking the Marauders themselves…or you lot," she said with a wink.
A slight panic overtook me. "Please don't even think about telling Black that we were responsible for the Charms incident of 1974."
"Are you mad? It was our best prank ever and they never once suspected it was us! We'll have to pull another one soon, I've been itching to do something evil," Sam said with a manic glint in her eye.
"We'll plan something when we get back, then unleash it on the next person on our hit list." I lifted my glass in a toast, and we proceeded to down the rest of our drinks in one go.
"Why are we toasting? We haven't actually carried the prank through," Sam said, looking at her glass rather sadly.
I grinned widely. "How about we celebrate letters from the Royal Ballet School?"
Sam's eyes were as wide as Galleons. "You jest, Lily Evans."
"That I do not," I told her whilst shaking my head.
"Oh God, Lily! Congratulations!" she squealed, enveloping me in a hug. "Why didn't you say something? We have to celebrate. Shots, we need shots."
Of course, Sam would turn to alcohol in moments of extreme happiness or extreme sadness.
"What are we celebrating?" said a rather arrogant voice from behind me. I turned to see Black and Potter approaching, both having finished their mimosas.
"Lily got into the Royal Ballet School's summer program!" Sam said, as if that explained everything. "Where are Jenny and George?"
"Jenny's off dancing and George is with some girl… Alina? Allison? Something along those lines. So what's the big deal?" Black said, confusion evident in his features.
"You dance ballet, Evans?" Potter said, looking at me.
"Yeah, I've been dancing since I was little," I told him.
"Wow, how did you manage to keep that piece of information from Prongsie for so long?" Black said with a smirk.
"It's not like I go prancing around the halls at school in a tutu, Black," I retorted.
"Why don't you? You're good at it, aren't you? It's always good to show off your skills. I do it all the time," Black responded with a grin.
"Yeah, and since my life's ambition is to be just like you…" I told him sarcastically.
"No need to get testy, Evans," he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, "just trying to get you to use your potential. Plus, I heard ballerinas are flexible."
Sam sniggered when she saw my blush. Some friend.
"Sorry, no dirty jokes around perfect Prefect Evans," Black said, crossing his heart and holding up his right hand. "By the way, quite astounded that you drink, Evans. I daresay you might actually be semi-normal."
"Just bring on the shots. I need something stronger than this thing," Potter said, pointing at his glass.
"Do you not like mimosas?" I asked him.
"Too fruity. Is this what Muggles normally drink?"
"Not necessarily. What, were you expecting firewhiskey?"
He smirked. "Obviously not, Evans. These are Muggles. Although I should have brought some with me."
I rolled my eyes. "You would, Potter. And you would probably use illegal means to obtain it."
"You know me so well."
We all take a series of shots in rather quick succession. I normally was not a heavy drinker, but I was just too excited but the RBS to stop and consider what I was doing. Eventually, Sam and Black disappeared, (probably to sneak into a room for a quick snog) so Potter and I continued with our shots.
"So, how did you come to be here?" I asked him, the buzz definitely settling in.
"Simple. Sirius didn't want to come alone," he replied easily, a slight flush in his cheeks.
"He wouldn't be alone, he'd be with Sam."
"In a house full of Muggles."
"Have you two never been to a Muggle party before?" I asked him. Even though both of them were purebloods, they had often spoken at great lengths about unsuspecting Muggle girls who were "entranced by their good looks." Pathetic.
"We've been to one before," Potter said, "but the one we went to wasn't nearly as wild as this."
He looked uncomfortable all of a sudden, as if more had happened at that party then he let on. Curious…
"Most of this lot went to my primary school. The ones that didn't are friends of friends," I told him, gesturing around the room.
"Like Sirius and I?" he asked me with his signature smirk.
"I wouldn't really call us friends, Potter," I told him, frowning slightly. "You're Jenny's teammate, and your best friend is dating my best friend. That's about it."
He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it messier than usual. Someone should seriously consider buying this boy a comb. "Listen, Evans," he started a little hesitantly, as if scared I might spontaneously combust. "I know we haven't exactly been on the best of terms, and I have been a bit of an arse the past few years, but maybe we can call a truce? Maybe not friends right away, since that takes time, but acquaintances, maybe?"
A bit of an arse? Understatement of the year.
I really wanted to say no: he had bullied so many people (including me) over the years and basically prompted the ending of my friendship with Severus (not that it wasn't already doomed, but it made me feel better to have Potter as a scapegoat). Yet there was something so hopeful in his voice, and all of a sudden, Roxy's words came back to me: he's not as much of a prat as he used to be.
Of course, my mouth decided to run off before my brain had finished thinking. "All right, Potter," I heard myself say, sticking my hand out for a handshake. "Truce."
"Truce," he said happily, shaking my hand before giving me a genuine smile.
And then it happened. There was a swoop in my stomach that had nothing to do with all the alcohol that I had consumed, and a slight tingling in my hand where Potter had touched it.
Uh oh.
The party continued well into the night. After my (probably unwise) agreement with Potter, we had chatted for a bit longer before going our separate ways: he went to look for Black, I decided to mingle with some of my old Muggle friends.
As the night wore on, Jenny and I found ourselves dancing on a tabletop with Kelly Adamson, Nathan Crisp, and Adrian Marsden.
Perfect Prefect Evans. Ha.
Someone had found an ABBA record. Obviously I had a death wish: dancing to ABBA, on a table, in pumps, not sober.
It was a miracle my bones were still intact.
When the song switched to something a little slower, I looked down at my watch to find that it seemed as if it was about to be midnight (or maybe one? Eleven? Not quite sure…). I grabbed Adrian, who was dancing right behind me, by the arm.
"Lily love, I knew we had chemistry," he said jokingly, the flush evident on his face.
"You're my on true love, Adrian," I said in a voice that my sober self would have cringed to hear. "Where's my brother?"
"He was off with Allison Bauer somewhere. Why?"
"We have to go soon, I think. Help me down."
Adrian jumped off the table and steadied himself before lifting me off and setting me down in front of him.
"You have got to start eating, Lily," he told me while poking my sides.
"Oh, screw you," I replied, dodging his pokes. I could not have a tickle fight while drunk…it could lead to accidents.
"I knew you had the hots for me," he shot back, giving me a one-armed hug. "Go find Georgie-poo."
I giggled and stumbled through the crowd, looking for the mop of blonde hair otherwise known as George Evans.
"Lily!"
I stopped a little unsteadily before turning around. A wave of nausea hit me that had nothing to do with alcohol.
Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Seriously, what had my former self done to deserve such misery in this current life?
He took a few steps forward, so that he was standing a mere foot away from me. "How are you? You look stunning, as usual."
He flashed me a smile, the smile that I loved oh so much.
A girl smarter and wiser than I would have run faster than Speedy Gonzales in the opposite direction, and yet I found my feet were unwilling to listen to my brain.
Apparently, my mouth and my feet had plotted against me. "I'm doing well, how are you?"
"Great, now that I've run into you. What have you been up to? Are you home for the holiday?"
"Yeah, I just came home for the week."
"That must be nice. It's so good to see you, Lils. You look so beautiful." He took a step closer and suddenly his smell was intoxicating me: a mixture of his cologne and fresh cinnamon.
"How's your girlfriend?" I said wildly, desperate for another topic. I tried to take a step back to find myself blocked by a foosball table.
Oh shit.
Ryan smiled sadly. "We're not together anymore. We broke up."
"Oh," I gulped nervously. "That's unfortunate."
"Want to know why?" he asked softly, in the voice he used to use when it was just the two of us.
"Not really, no," I said.
He ignored me. "It was because of you."
That got my attention. "Me?"
"You," he repeated. "I couldn't get you off my mind. Every time I was with her, all I could do was picture you, hear your voice, smell you scent, feel your lips…"
"We broke up over a year ago, Ryan," I said slightly annoyed. He was way too close, and I was beginning to feel the slight pangs of a headache.
"I know that, but we shouldn't have," he said softly, stroking my cheek.
Lovely. Right when I should run, my legs decide to become immobile.
"You know we were great together, Lily," he whispered. "I know I made a mistake, but I learned from it and I want you back, baby."
"I have a boyfriend now," I choked out.
"But do you love him as much as you loved me?" he whispered, looking directly into my eyes.
I didn't respond, but it wasn't necessary. Both he and I knew the answer to that question.
Ryan laughed softly. "Don't kid yourself, Lily. You and everyone else in this room know we're perfect for each other. Not only that, but it would be one that society would approve of, too."
My insides were screaming to run away, but it seemed as if my vocal chords had lost the ability to produce speech.
Ryan leaned down slowly, and suddenly his lips were on mine, the most sensational feeling. No one had ever kissed me as well as Ryan did, and all I wanted was to melt in his arms and forgive him for all his wrongdoings and just love him forever. His lips slid easily over mine while his tongue begged for entrance. I obliged willingly, and it was pure bliss. His hands ran up and down my arms, leaving a searing trail wherever they touched.
Just as suddenly though, a fire raged within me, and disgust filled me entirely. The knowledge that those same lips had touched countless others; that those hands had roamed the bodies of other girls; that the love he professed meant so little to him that he could easily go out with other girls, kiss other girls, sleep with other girls…
With all the might I had, I pushed Ryan away. He looked at me in slight alarm.
"Lily, what's wrong?" he asked me.
That little…
SMACK.
My hand stung, but it was worth it. I turned on my heel and left, resuming my search for George. I found Jenny dancing by the pool along the way and dragged her along with me.
"Liiiilyyyyy, it's so much fuuuuuun," she slurred.
"I know, but we have to go," I said softly. Tears were stinging the corner of my eyes, but I would not let them fall as long as he was still around.
We found George and Allison out in the front garden. After they had said goodbye to each other (a rather wordless farewell), we walked down the front path towards the street and began the walk home. Luckily, neither George nor Jenny were sober enough to notice my relative silence.
Once home, we trudged up the stairs and bade George good night before heading into my room. Jenny barely made it to the bed before completely passing out. I slowly stripped out of my clothes and slipped on my pajamas before quietly turning off the light and climbing into bed beside her.
All that had transpired with Ryan was eating me up from the inside. Not only had I technically cheated on Adam, but I had let Ryan wind me up, let him sweet talk me yet again.
The worst part was that, no matter how long it had been, or how cruel he had been, or how hard I had tried to convince myself otherwise, I still wasn't over Ryan Fitzpatrick.
A/N: Two updates in one weekend! I feel accomplished :) So there you have it: some L/J, as well as some insight into Lily's romantic past. More details on her relationship with Ryan will be revealed in the next few chapters, but I think the main reason for their breakup is made pretty clear. Thanks to those of you who have reviewed or favorited this story...it really makes my day :) Have a lovely week, and happy reading!