yay, the much-awaited chapter has arrived, and I hear all of you scream. thank you all so much for your reviews and favourites and whatever! randomly, I just saw the new bleach ep 141, and I am not amused. oh well, it was one-sided! -grins evilly- okay, chapter 7 time (:

Ichigo Has A Goddamn Hostel Room!

Chapter 7: Completely Thawed Out

Rukia felt numb. She felt completely frozen over, inside out and all around, like how she almost ended up when she trained her shikai for the first time with Shirayuki.

An internal avalanche seemed to be ravaging her insides, leaving completely frozen trails in its wake. Her stomach felt as though it was filled with solid ice, and Rukia swore something in the cavity of her chest froze, her lung, or something.

Sato…and…Ichigo…

She took in sharp intake of breath, and she could feel it getting so cold.

Ichigo.

---

She stood at the window, watching them with wide, unblinking eyes, so much so that she looked as if she were dead.

Ichigo felt himself pushing Sato away, grabbing her arms and trying to force her to let go of him, right now. He saw himself yelling, he saw himself yelling at Sato to move, but the girl didn't budge.

And he saw Rukia watching him all along.

Everything felt as if it had been set on mute, like someone had turned the sound off.

He saw her reach for the latch, slowly, robotically, as if she was programmed to do so, and he saw her lift it. He saw himself see her open the window and climb in, movements silent and impassive.

He watched Rukia, his arms unconsciously trying to tear Sato away, as she landed softly on the floor of the room, staring back at him, but seeming to be leagues away at the same time.

When he manage to shove Sato away at last, the volume was turned back up somewhat and his ears started to work properly again.

"Kurosaki-kun!"

He ignored her. He couldn't hear her. He didn't want to hear her.

Rukia looked back blankly, aridly at him, two icicles in two empty sockets, and his ribcage seemed to crack from within.

Why was she being like this?

It seemed as if it was forever before she opened her mouth to speak, but her voice was as dead as her eyes were, and it hurt.

It was as if she lov-

"You should know something."

Anything, just say anything,he wanted to tell her, but he still hadn't found his voice, which appeared to be avoiding him at all costs.

Rukia's face betrayed no emotion. Like a figure carved in ice. So perfect yet so detached, and even he was suppressed into the bitter silence that emanated from her.

"That girl, that girl beside you."

He barely heard Sato squeak out an acknowledgement. Even she had turned mute; even she could feel the blizzard.

"She was the one."

Even though Rukia hadn't said it out loud, he understood.

"Sato, you-"

"Leave it."

Her voice was so, so cold, it cut him. It cut him deep, but he felt no blood. Rukia raised her chin, with an infinite likeness to Byakuya, and the temperature fell further.

"Get the hell out of here."

---

"How did you know?"

His voice was earnest with the new found knowledge, and hers was frosty in comparism.

"She didn't protest much, did she."

He looked at her, a little surprised.

"You don't mind her getting away like that?"

She shifted her gaze to the door, and he saw something flash in the depths, beneath the frozen surface of her eyes.

"No, I don't care."

They stood like that for as long as the hug was, maybe longer. He felt as if it had occurred so long ago, a century, a millennium, too far back for him to grasp, to pull back towards him with his fingers.

The silence mocked him. I dare you to break me, Kurosaki.

Rukia regarded him coolly.

"She likes you, doesn't she."

Ichigo recognized the hidden question behind it almost immediately. He knew Rukia too well, just like that.

Do you like her?

His first intention was to tell her, right now, that he didn't, and he would swear on anything to prove it, but something else got ahead of the protest instead of what he had intended to say.

"Why do you care?"

His own words sounded harsh even to himself, and he felt her pain when she flinched so badly, her jaw clenching and her fists curling up, and he just knew that her nails were digging into the palms of her hands.

"I care."

She said it so simply, without any sort of implication behind her words that she seemed to have turned back into the little girl who could never ever tell a lie. Ichigo reached desperately, unconsciously, for the possibility that she could lov-, no, like him, but he firmly shoved it away. He couldn't afford to live in denial, he couldn't.

She said it herself.

Rukia knew she had to say something, but the trouble was that she didn't know where to fit her words in; she didn't know what to say.

He bent his head, staring at the ground.

"Always friends, you said. You said it so clearly yourself."

Rukia shook her head helplessly, feeling the ice inside her stomach creep up towards her throat, suffocating her. His voice cracked, and so did she.

"I thought that maybe I could ignore it, maybe I could just live with it, but I can't."

He swallowed, and she heard him choke between his words. She lunged blindly at the silence.

"Ichigo-"

"Goddammit, listen to me. I'll die, I'll die if I don't tell you, right now. Just listen to me, please, Rukia."

With each sentence, he took a step closer to her.

"It took so long for me to realize it, you know that? Maybe I should have said something earlier, and then I could have had a better chance. But too late for me, I was too slow, and maybe you already are in love with someone else by now, I don't know."

He shut his eyes for a while, and opened them again.

"It kind of jumped on me. It took a while, and I don't even think that there was a particular day I can remember when exactly it dawned on me. I just found myself there, not knowing how I arrived, and the only direction that I could go was forward, right?"

Rukia nodded numbly. Had he given up on her? She felt as cold as the icy fires of hell. Was he telling her just to get it off his chest and then freaking forget about it? She didn't know.

"I tried to make myself live with it after the b-beach, because I thought if I told you you'd run away or something, but it's so hard to keep it inside. To see you every day, and be reminded over and over again that you don't, it's hell. You live in my damned closet, Rukia. I can't do this."

She wanted to tell him that she wouldn't run away if he told her, to stop his eyes from looking so cloudy, so saturated with his frustration, but it was her voice, this time, that was evading her.

"Do you? I don't know, you definitely don't, but at the same time, maybe not. I keep telling myself that no, you don't, but some little shit keeps saying 'BUT THEN', over and over again, and I'm going to go mad, you know?"

He took yet another deep, shuddering breath.

"So just euthanize me, Rukia. Confirm it; confirm it that you don't, and don't say things that you don't mean just to make me feel better, because you know it'll kill me to know you lied. Do or don't, I don't care, just tell me something that I know I can believe."

Ichigo stopped, inches away from her, and shut his eyes again for a split second. Go.

"Rukia, do you-"

She raised her chin high, stopping him, her eyes shining with something that he didn't dare identify.

"Do I love you?"

He let his shoulders fall slack, as he shoved his hands into his pockets, defeated. He felt so bitter as he replied in a flat, toneless voice.

"Yes, Rukia. Do you love me. That's exactly what I wanted to know."

He didn't expect her to take a step forward, he didn't expect her to lean against his front like that, and he didn't expect her to slide her arms around his middle, burying her head in his chest.

"I do."

It was slightly muffled, but it was so direct, so obvious that he ironically didn't understand it. His arms jerked involuntarily, as if to reach out to hug her back, but he couldn't believe. He couldn't.

Ichigo brought his hands down, gently, to her shoulders and moved her away so that he could see her face.

"Don't lie."

Rukia's gaze was unblinking and undoubtedly clear.

"I didn't."

He knelt down so that he was eye to eye with her and grasped her shoulders lightly, but she could feel his desperation. His voice was hoarse with disbelief.

"Then why?"

Why 'Always friends,' Rukia?

"Will you listen to me?"

"Of course."

She opened her mouth, hesitated for a second, and dove into it. Everything, everything that she had been aching to say, everything that been boxed up inside to hopefully be put away forever. Rukia's voice cracked, too, but she kept talking.

"I wanted to know why it happened, but it came out all wrong, and you looked so terrible that I didn't know how to turn it around again."

She had wanted to tell him earlier, she whispered, but Sato had come into the picture, and she hadn't felt like being around any longer.

And to see Sato lay her claws on him, it had frozen her solid inside out, and till now, she said, she felt as if she hadn't thawed out yet.

"I'm sorry. I know it won't be enough for the shit I made you go through, but I-"

Ichigo stopped her in mid-sentence by putting his hand on her cheek, his thumb drawing soft circles somewhere around her cheekbone. She gasped, as she felt the warmth spreading back from where his hand touched her along the veins of her face in little ribbons, little golden ribbons of warmth.

"You stupid, stupid girl."

His voice was so quiet, yet so full of raw emotion that surged over her in waves, and she leaned into it. Her arms fit under his, her hands holding onto his shoulders, while his own held her like she was made of porcelain, as she buried her head into his neck.

"You're so stupid, you know that?"

She loosened her hold so that she was face to face with him again, ready to protest that she wasn't.

"Thawed out yet?"

The question caught her completely off guard.

"…I would suppose so."

He grinned and leaned in almost simultaneously, his head tilted at an angle as if he had known how to kiss all his life, catching her completely by surprise.

His lips bumped her NOSE.

"YOU MISSED!!!"

His eyes widened as a very, very bright red tint spread all over his face.

"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry. About the missing, and uh, the kissing too. Pretend that never happened, and you can hit me."

Rukia grinned.

"No, it's okay, try again."

"…W-what?"

"Go on, try again!"

"…Really?"

"HAH, I KNEW IT, you're a perv!"

"…I'M NOT!"

"Oh yes you are!"

"Shut up! Fine, let me have another go."

"HEY. DON'T TALK ABOUT KISSING ME LIKE IT'S SOME KIND OF PINBALL GAME, DAMN YOU!"

"Okay, okay!"

"It's all about timing!"

"Screw the timing, your head's supposed to tilt, too. You're supposed to be HELPING ME."

"What, like this? Or am I supposed to break my neck, huh?"

"No, move left a bit. You see, it's like a jigsaw piece. "

"You can't even pick a metaphor that sounds decent."

"Stuff you. Look, you're all cross-eyed! Just tilt your head to the right just a little bit more, and you'll have it."

"…O-okay. Like that?"

"Yes!"

"So…uh…"

"On the count of three, maybe?"

"Good idea. It's all about timing, as you said?"

"Okay. Uh. So?"

Their hearts simultaneously sped up, and this time, they both knew it.

"One…"

"Two…"

"Three."

Needless to say, the timing was perfect.

to be continuedz :D

YAYYY! This fic isn't over yet, though. this chapter was so hard to type! but I made it, and here it is. -wide grin-

ah, what have you been all waiting for. I'm delighted at the outcome, even if I have to say so myself. R&R -grins wider-