"What hurts the Most • Was being so Close • And having so much to say •

Watching you walk away • Never knowing • What could have been •

And not seeing that loving you • Is what I was trying to do."

-Rascal Flats, "What Hurts The Most"

Chapter 7: Wounded

JESS

Jess ran as fast as he could home without looking back. He didn't care if Leslie was following him; as soon as he got home he would run up to his room and block the door.

When he finally did get home, he went through the back door to the kitchen. His sisters were all in front of the TV, as usual. Maybelle saw him, and called out, "Hey Jess—"

But he was already on his way to his room.

As soon as he got there, he slammed the door and blocked it with his dresser. Immediately, he went into his boxes under his bed, where he kept all of his drawings, tearing through them and searching. Every drawing he ever did of Terabithia he pulled out and set aside. Once he had gone through all of the boxes, he picked up the heaping pile, and threw them out his window. The papers fluttered to the ground below, like little flower petals. He knew his parents would be super mad, but he didn't care. He didn't want anything that reminded him of Terabithia.

Next, he opened his backpack and dumped out all the contents inside. He grabbed his notebook and fumbled through the pages, ripping out all the Terabithia ones, and throwing them out the window too. Page after page, his notebook became thinner and thinner. He was on such a ripping spree, he didn't notice that half of the notebook was already gone.

Finally, he got to the last page. He started to tear it, but then realized what it was.

It was his picture of Leslie.

It reminded him of the fight, of the flower, of what he had tried to tell her that ended in disaster.

The anger that had consumed him a few minutes ago was replaced with hurt and longing. Instead of ripping to throw away, he carefully took it out, and taped it to his wall. There was still a piece of Leslie that he could hold on to.

LESLIE

Leslie walked home slowly, still shocked by what had happened to their friendship. It's over, done, there is no King and Queen. Each step matched the beat of her heavy heart. How am I going to face him? What will I do if I see him in the hallway? Most importantly…what about Terabithia? She saw her house up ahead, and shivered by the sudden wind that had picked up. She half-ran to the front door, but stopped mid-way when a piece of paper flopped against her leg. What in the world…? She picked up the cold, and now damp paper, turning it upright to reveal one of Jess's Terabithia drawings. She looked up from the page.

ALL of his drawings were blowing away in the wind, and were now scattered in her front yard.

Frantic, Leslie hurried around and scooped up all of the drawings she could find, following the trail of them back to the Aarons' house. That trail led her right up to Jess's window. He must have thrown them all out. She thought with dismay. She picked up all of the ones she could see. In the end, she managed to save all of them, though many were damaged. With all of his drawings, wet and wrinkled in her hands, she ran out of their yard and headed inside her house.

The first couple of weeks after the fight between Jess and Leslie were brutal. They refused to look at each other, at school, or at home. Even though they refused to make contact, all they could think about were each other.

In the morning, Jess would wake up earlier than usual and get all of his morning chores done, so that he could wait for the bus early, beating Leslie to it. He didn't have to bother. Leslie waited purposely until the last minute to get on the bus.

One morning, after Jess had already got on, he didn't see Leslie come running out like usual. The bus driver became impatient and left. I hope she didn't miss the bus on purpose. Jess thought, worried.

Leslie was in her usual spot when Jess made it to Mrs. Meyers' class; she was the very first student there. He realized after school that she no longer took the bus, and was dropped off by her father in the morning instead.

Pride and grief consumed their thoughts and actions. Both wanted to make up, and both missed each other terribly. But their pride was too much to swallow, and the misery continued for 4 weeks straight.

BACK TO WEEK ONE

LESLIE

Leslie slammed the door on her way in from Terabithia. She headed straight up to her room. Judy, her mother watched her with concern. She noticed that Leslie had a bundle of papers in her hands and was leaving a wet trail up the stairs. Judy only needed one glimpse to Leslie's face to see that she was troubled. But she shrugged it off. She was a teen after all.

Leslie plugged in her blow dryer to the bathroom, and tried to save the drawings. She hung the blow-dried ones over the bath tub to dry. It wasn't long after that that she heard her mother call from down the stairs, "What in the world are you doing?"

"Umm…Nothing!"

"What?"

"Nothing! I…don't want to talk about it."

"Ok…" Having seen this before, and knowing the stubborn streak inherited from the child's FATHER, she decided to leave it for another time.

The next day, Leslie's was forced to go outside to get some fresh air. She had spent most of that day and yesterday inside, and her mother thought it would be best.

She stood out, looking out of her balcony from her second story window. There was nothing to do at all. She was so bored.

Leslie was curious at what Jess was doing. She peeked into the Aaron's front yard.

Mr. Aaron's old pickup was still in the front. Jess was probably in his room.

She suddenly remembered something. Running down the stairs, she raced out of the house to Terabithia.

WEEK ONE

JESS

I was so stupid. Jess shook his head at his actions. All of his hard work, all of the drawings he had done he had thrown out the window, he was now regretting. What he hated most was that they were all gone, every single one. He searched for hours around his yard, but they left no trace. It's so bizarre. He headed downstairs to eat breakfast and watch the Saturday cartoons with his sisters.

No sooner had he sat down in his normal couch spot that the doorbell rang. Mrs. Aarons answered it.

"Oh, hello Leslie!"

Oh no! Jess's stomach dropped like the first drop on a rollercoaster. He wanted to head upstairs, but would have to go past the door to do so, and Leslie would see him.

"Um, yeah…" His mom leaned back and looked at him in the living room, giving him a smile. He shook his head frantically, and mouthed "No!"

Surprised, Mrs. Aarons turned back to Leslie. "Uh, Jess is busy right now, um, with his sisters and such—"

Jess then heard Leslie say something else, but couldn't make out the words.

"Yes, I'll be sure to give this to him. Goodbye."

The door closed, and Mrs. Aarons came to Jess with a familiar wooden box. Now I'm in for it…

"Leslie says that she wants you to have this." She set it down next to him, and went back to the kitchen.

Jess opened it, and sighed.

It was his paint set.

•••

Jess stroked the paintbrush delicately over the paper. He did so again and again, as he had every day after school for the past 4 weeks. He was so focused on painting that he didn't notice Brenda coming in.

"Hey."

The sudden voice in his hushed world startled him. He looked up, and relaxed when he saw it was only her. He went back to painting.

Brenda took the hint that he didn't want to talk to her, preferably about why he had been sulking around the house and avoiding Leslie for the past 4 weeks, but tried to get her brother to talk.

"So…did you give her that rose and um, tell her?"

Jess hesitated for half a second, but got back to painting. "We…broke up…our friendship, I guess."

Brenda was shocked. "So, that's it, huh? You're just going to destroy everything you've built up inside since she moved here?"

"It's complicated."

"Not the way you put it. So, you had your first fight. The right thing to do is to go over there and say that you're sorry."

"I can't." He mumbled. Now he had stopped painting and was resting his head against the wall.

"You can't what? Swallow your pride and apologize? Leslie deserves better treatment."

"I…I can't bear to face her, Brenda." He sighed. "I…I hurt her. I was being too overprotective, and she got mad. Then, those hateful words just spilled over and…well, I didn't want that pain of seeing her floating in the river to come back, because…I really….like her…so what I mean to say is…"

Brenda sighed in relief. "You finally admitted it in words, well, kinda. I'm proud of you. You know, this whole fight between you and Leslie is starting to look like a soap opera."

That got a small smile out of Jess. He got back to painting.

"So, will you apologize?"

Jess paused. "I'll think about it."

Brenda smiled and left the room, as Jess finished his painting.

•••

THUNK. The crumpled paper landed next to the tin trashcan, making an echoing sound that filled the empty room.

This is hopeless. Leslie sat at her desk and groaned. For the past 4 weeks, she had been laying around the house with nothing to do. So, she had started to draw. Unfortunately, her artistic abilities were her imagination, and she was quickly learning by the pile of crumbled papers that were now overflowing the trashcan, that they were not in her drawing abilities.

She sighed. Jess, where are you when I need you? It had been a miserable four weeks, and Leslie was curious if Jess even missed her. She sure missed him.

She glanced around the room, eyed the cardboard box of Jess's drawings, and quickly looked away. N-No, I won't think of him. She continued trying to draw. The knock on the door made her look up, and broke her concentration. Still, she answered, "Come in."

Her mother opened the door quietly, smiling. "Hey, hon. What are you doing?"

"Drawing."

Getting no other response for several seconds, Judy continued. "Leslie, I think you should get outside more, you know, for some fresh air."

"You always say that." Leslie mumbled.

"What happened to that Aarons boy I use to see so often around here? Why don't you go out and play, like you did every day after school?"

Leslie winced. 'That Aarons boy.' Ugh.

"He has a name, Mom. Besides, I'm…on my own. I think you're right. I'm going outside."

"Good. Don't stay out too late." Her mother smiled again, and closed the door.

"Here goes…" Leslie thought out loud, looking at the box of drawings. She grabbed it and headed out the door.

•••

Later that night, Leslie sat on her bed reading, but couldn't concentrateThe plot sounded a lot like her and Jess.

Jess…his name haunted her memories. What about before the fight? Life was great…up until the accident. Why did I go to Terabithia alone? She pondered. What made me do it? She remembered Jess's panicked face as she fell. She had never seen him that scared before. Why did he come back? How did he pop out of nowhere when I needed him? How did he know?

All these questions were to be left unanswered. What was between them was over, done. Over, done. Leslie repeated the words to herself. They didn't seem real.

She tried to think of life before that. Seeing Jess every day on the bus…defending their kingdom together, which now lay lifeless in a field…his eyes, his smile…the way he said her name, with such care and…and something else…and then hearing his hurtful words in Terabithia…and hearing her own…

"No, but you know me, I like to be daring."

"Too daring. Leslie, you need to take advantage of—"

"I don't have to listen to you! I can take care of myself."

"You can? You really can?"

"Yes, I think I can."

"Fine. Then how's this: I'm gone! And I'll never come back!"

Watching him run away…

Something wet fell on the page, magnifying the words she was trying to read. Leslie was shocked to realize that a tear had fallen from her eye.

She gasped when the loud knock on her door once again disturbed her. She quickly wiped her eyes. "C-Come in!"

It was her mother again. "Hey Leslie. Listen, I was thinking tomorrow we could get out and go shopping, you know, a little girl to girl time…we both need to get out of the house more. Plus, we haven't done it in forever. What do you think?"

Leslie tried to smile. "Sure Mom, sound great."

"Ok, great. And you have to come down now. It's time for dinner."

•••

Jess came home from school the next day.

Since he was bored and didn't have any homework, Jess sat down at his mailbox and started to draw in his notebook. Pretty soon, he would need a new one.

It was starting to fill up quick, and all with the same thing.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, or how many pages he had left, but he didn't care. Pretty soon, he heard P.T., Leslie's dog, barking, and he looked up from his sketching to see Mr. Burke walking P.T., who was rushing excitedly to Jess.

For once, Jess was happy to see Bill. He waved.

"Hey Jess!"

They were both to Jess now, with P.T. jumping all over him.

"Hi Mr. Bur—uh, Bill."

"How have you been these days?"

Jess had a million things to say at that moment.

Miserable! Lonely! Sad! Upset! Regretful! Hurt! He wanted to shout, wanted to spit out all of the poison in him that had been bubbling up since the fight.

"Fine."

"That's good." Bill's smile was so oblivious to Jess's pain. "What are you drawing?"

"Uhhh…" He quickly shut his notebook. "Nothing."

Bill didn't seem taken back from this behavior. "Say, have you eaten yet? It's nearly 6:00."

Jess hadn't even realized how late it was. His growling stomach suddenly became obvious to him.

"No, I should go—"

"Hey, you don't have to walk off. I haven't eaten yet either. Leslie and her mom are gone shopping, and I'm not a good cook…do you want to get something to eat? Like, get a hamburger, or something?"

Jess was surprised. He was hungry, and hadn't had a hamburger in so long…

"That's sounds cool."

Bill smiled. "I'll talk to your parents."

•••

The car ride to the restaurant was awkwardly silent, with Jess scribbling away in his notebook.

"So…why haven't you been around?" Bill seemed interested.

"I've been…um, really busy."

Bill was quiet for a few moments. Jess felt like an idiot not telling the truth.

"You know, when I was a kid, I had a friend named Joe. We were best friends since kindergarten."

Jess listened intently.

"One day on the school playground, there was a cool pair of sunglasses. We both liked it, and suddenly we were fighting about who found it. It got so bad, and turned into a really ugly battle of words. Joe suddenly took the sunglasses from me and broke them in half. "It's not worth our friendship." He said, but I didn't listen. Our friendship was never the same."

Jess could only look down. He didn't know what to say.

"And now that I look back at it, a piece of used plastic junk wasn't worth our friendship at all. If I could go back, I would forget about it, and maybe he would have still been my friend."

Jess looked up over the dashboard. The fast food restaurant came in sight. "Let's go through the drive through." He suggested. Bill nodded. "We can eat in the car."

•••

Leslie leaned her head against the window. She knew why her mom had suggested this little shopping trip. Not that it wouldn't be fun, but she needed an excuse to "talk". Leslie decided to act dumb.

"Mom, why did you schedule this shopping trip?"

Her mom smiled lightly. "I thought we could talk."

Never gets old. Leslie smiled to herself. "Ok…so what are we going to talk about?"
Her mom smirked. "What do you think?"

Leslie frowned. "Why I've been moping around the house for almost a month?"

"Bingo."

"Well, what about it?"

"What's up with you?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Come on…you can tell me. What happened?"

Leslie sighed. "We had a fight. He was being too over-protective, and I got mad. It was stupid. He wouldn't let me do anything."

"And why was that?"

"I don't know. Why would he act that way? I don't get it."

"He had a reason." Leslie looked at her Mom. "And that is…?"

"What do you think?"

Leslie looked out the window again, and tried to understand what her mother meant.

Next chapter coming soon :) I have changed my intended ending very slightly. You'll see in time…

There are almost 4 chapters left in the story! Stay tuned, and please read and review!

Thanks, Oracle