The Anderson's front parlor seemed bathed in gold in the afternoon light. It's Sam's favorite room in the house, especially at this time of day. If he could get away with it, he and Blaine would do their homework here instead of up in Blaine's room just so he could enjoy the way the light made everything warm and sunny. Everything in this room was chosen to make the most of that golden light and it makes Sam think that he's been dipped in honey and surrounded by amber. He also appreciates the view of the garden from the huge French windows, the large garden absorbs all the ambient noise making it quite easy to forget that they were in the middle of a rather posh suburb; from here one can barely see the roof of the neighboring house.

But today, Sam couldn't really give the room or the garden his full attention. Sam's heart was beating erratically, going a mile-a-minute. He didn't know what was going to happen only that starting now things were going to change. And change wasn't something he was comfortable with. Change always brought pain. His folks have taught him to find the good things so he could weather those changes, but it didn't lessen the pain, it just made it easier to live with. He thought about those times: Quinn dumping him made him see the futility of seeking popularity, being homeless taught him to learn what was worth keeping and what wasn't, moving away taught him who his real friends were, almost losing Blaine...well that's why he's here, wasn't it?

Sam knew that the only thing keeping him here was because he knew about Blaine's crush on him, and Sam was also really, really hoping that Blaine still does. So it's not like he has zero-chance to be with Blaine but he is well aware that just because Blaine has a crush on him (please God let Blaine still have a crush on him), that didn't automatically mean he would want to be in a relationship with him.

Back when he was dating Quinn, Sam found Santana hot but he would never have dated her because she was scary as hell. It's weird, now that he knows her better, he would be willing to try a relationship; except now that he knows she only likes girls, he wouldn't. And even now he will admit that Rachel is hot...sometimes, when she isn't being crazy, and probably wouldn't mind going out with her but only as friends. Rachel is scary but in a whole different way than Santana. Intense. She's way too intense.

So just because Blaine finds Sam attractive doesn't mean that he'll be willing to date him. Like Sebastian. Blaine admitted once to Sam that he thinks Sebastian is hot but even if he never met Kurt, he would never have dated Sebastian.

Sam starts to fidget. The peace the room normally provides burns away as his anxiety mounts. Sam begins to pace, thinking he should leave but as he reaches the door he turns around and walks back to the windows remembering his promise to himself, that life is too short but he doesn't want to lose Blaine and telling him might lose his best friend and he wants his...Blaine he wants Blaine to stay with him forever so he can't tell him but he's needs to talk to Blaine because he's been avoiding him and if he keeps doing that he'll lose him anyway but maybe it can wait?

Sam stops short in the middle of the room as he sees Blaine standing in the doorway. And he suddenly realizes why he loves this room so much in the afternoon light.

It's the same color as Blaine's eyes.

oOo

Blaine stood nervously as Sam was looking at him strangely. He was perplexed when he first walked in, Sam was pacing the room like a caged animal and Blaine's initial greeting went unheard. Blaine had never seen Sam so agitated. When Sam got excited he would show this by either talking non-stop or do something physical to release the nervous energy in one big movement, like a jumping pirouette, but he would never pace like this, it's uncharacteristic of him.

Then just as he was about to call out to him again, Sam stopped and saw him standing there and he was, well, looking at him like he never saw him before.

"Sam?" Blaine called out, his voice low and not a little worried. Sam didn't seem to hear and he had this expression on his face like he just solved a great big puzzle.

Blaine swallows a sigh and looks around the room, Sam's gaze was making him blush and he couldn't maintain eye-contact. He needed a distraction. He loves this room, especially at this time of day. It's like liquid sunlight was poured in and painted everything Sam. The gold in Sam's hair, the sparkle in his eyes, the warm tan of his skin, even the pinkness of his lips and the occasional blush on his cheeks, was in this room. And with Sam standing there in the middle with the sunlight behind him making him glow like an angel, Blaine knew he would never forget this image of Sam. No matter what happened, he will carry this in his heart forever.

"Blaine."

Blaine blinked and looked back at Sam. Sam raised his hand in a quiet plea for Blaine to come close, so he nodded and stepped forward. Sam finally seemed to realize he was staring and he ducked his head down while the hand he had extended to Blaine he quickly pulled back and grabbed the back of his neck. Blaine could see the red flushing up his throat and he could see the red splashes on his cheeks.

Sam probably realized that Blaine knew he was avoiding him. Well Blaine could put him at ease with regards to that. They went through something traumatic and Blaine almost died, he's sure it rattled Sam. Blaine could be generous seeing as his friend was here and no longer running away.

Everything will be fine. They're Blam. They can get through this. Sam was okay about learning about the crush. He can tone down his feelings so Sam won't freak out but still tell him a bit of the truth and then everything will be okay. And holy shit Sam is talking and Blaine was too busy staring and not paying attention.

"—so I'm really sorry about that and I promise it won't happen again, okay?"

"Um, sure Sam," Blaine said, he figured he could say that honestly since he knew that Sam could apologize for killing New Directions and Blaine would still forgive him. "No apologies necessary, I completely understand." Blaine was sure of that, too, because Sam tended to apologize for things he had no control over and while Blaine wasn't quite sure what Sam was apologizing for he's sure that as soon as he figures out what it was he will understand so it's not like he's lying.

Sam let out a breath of relief.

"Okay, thanks, and I promise, from now on, no more running away. If I have a problem I'll tell you."

Blaine smiled and was relieved that was cleared up quickly and knew that he really didn't lie to Sam (and that Sam really didn't kill New Directions).

"Um, is Kurt still here?" Sam asked hesitantly, "I saw his car when I pulled up and the thing is I gotta tell you the next important thing and it's kinda big but if Kurt is waiting—"

What next thing? Blaine wondered but he quickly reassured Sam. "Kurt was here but he left."

"Okay because this is going to be hard enough," Sam said and Blaine could see the nerves getting to Sam again.

Blaine frowned and quickly put his hand on Sam's arm, instinctively wanting to give Sam comfort. Sam closed his eyes and his other hand swiftly moved to cover Blaine's hand on his arm and squeezed it tight.

"Sam?" Blaine asked, he couldn't help but let the worry creep into his voice. "What's wrong?"

Sam didn't answer right away. And right before Blaine could ask again, he let out a big breath and then opened his eyes. Sam pulled Blaine's hand from his arm but kept his hold on it. Sam looked at their clasped hands and his thumb started drawing lazy patterns at the back of Blaine's hand.

Blaine couldn't help but feel the goosebumps explode across his arms and down his back as Sam's calloused thumb gently skimmed across his skin, with the rest of his large, warm hands so gently holding on to his own. His mind jumped to the possibility that Sam might be...but his heart clamped down tight, shoving the thought deep down where he couldn't think it. He focused on something else, something that he can work with and ignored the path that might lead to pain and disappointment.

"What's wrong Sam?" Blaine asked gently. "What's bothering you? How can I help?"

Sam opened his mouth and then closed it. He still kept staring at their hands but Blaine could see him start to shake. Concerned, Blaine put his free hand on Sam's shoulder and he could feel Sam trembling. He could see tears start to pool in Sam's eyes and Blaine went from concerned to full-blown worry.

Sam whispered something, his voice rough and too low to hear.

"Sam?" Blaine asked in a whisper, his hands squeezing trying to give comfort. "I didn't hear—"

"Don't leave me," Sam said brokenly. "Ever." He looked up at Blaine and Blaine's heart clenched at Sam's expression. "You have to promise not to get hurt again, you can't do that, okay? You can't leave me like that? Please Blaine?"

Blaine started nodding and his heart ached for Sam and pulled him into a hug and Sam grabbed him tight and he still kept whispering into Blaine's ears as both of them started crying.

"You can't leave me Blaine, ever, okay? You can't die on me, we're supposed to be together forever and you can't do that if you get shot. So you have to be okay and you promise to be with me, right? You aren't leaving me alone again, right? Please Blaine? I don't care where you go or what you're going to do but promise me that I get to come with you, okay? Please?"

And Blaine couldn't say anything but yes. Of course yes. Blaine pulled back a bit and let his forehead touch Sam's. Sam's arms loosened a bit but he kept it tight around Blaine's waist.

"Together forever Sam," Blaine promised. "Wherever you go, I'll be there, I promise. We'll figure it out together and I promise to be safe and I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry, I'm sorry Sam, please forgive me..."

And Blaine felt his heart breaking; he finally understood how lost Sam must have been; because if anything happened to Sam, to his Sam, he would have gone insane. If someone had hurt Sam, Blaine would have burned that person to ash. And if it was Sam in that hospital room, Blaine blinked back tears, and he shuddered at the thought that if it was Sam who was shot...and to think that he put Sam through that. Jesus how could he do that to Sam?

"It's okay, baby, please don't cry, it isn't your fault," Sam was whispering to him. Blaine realized he was babbling and panicking and it's Sam who was the one now calming him down, kissing his face, rubbing his back—

Kissing his face.

Kissing.

Sam was kissing him.

Blaine's voice trailed off and he looked at Sam, really looked at him. Sam had put one of his hands to cup Blaine's face and used his thumb to wipe Blaine's tears. His expression was filled with concern and worry and...love.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked him.

And Blaine threw himself forward and kissed Sam right on the mouth. Sam was shocked for a moment but he quickly kissed Blaine back. It was awkward and frenzied and desperate and the most amazing thing Blaine ever felt.

Eventually they broke apart, their foreheads once again touching, their arms tightly around one another. They were both breathing heavily and Blaine couldn't help but grin. He didn't know who chuckled first, but soon they were both giggling and laughing in each other's arms and Sam would kiss his forehead, his nose, his cheeks and Blaine couldn't help but gasp at the look of wonder on Sam's face. A look he was quite sure was also on his own face.

"I love you, Sam."

Blaine had no fear now. Not with Sam beside him.

"I love you, too."

And Blaine's heart was painted gold and swam with liquid sunlight.

"What happens, now?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Blaine answered, the certainty of his tone an ironic contrast to his words. "But we'll figure it out together." Blaine looked to Sam to see if this was okay with him.

Sam's blinding smile was answer enough.