Author's Note: There are big times jump between the next few chapters but mainly because aside from Catherine's training being built up, not much is happening at the moment. This chapter probably won't be that long either but it also won't be long until a certain Mr Laufeyson begins to feature

Lost Souls

Chapter Six

Three months had passed since Catherine had visited her son's grave and she had thrown herself back into her new routine with considerable force. Her mornings and afternoons were spent with Sif, training and building up a range of physical fighting talents to her use. By evenings she was absorbed in learning magic and then her nights were filled with an undisturbed sleep. So on the whole she was on the road to recovery of sorts. When you hit bottom of sorts, there was really only one place to go and that was upwards and onwards.

Thankfully her frequent visits by, what she was starting to call the bodyguard family, had stopped for now though every so often Frigga had stopped by for a brief chat. Thor made polite conversation if he and Catherine ran into each other but apart from that, there wasn't much going on. Catherine didn't really see Odin for which she was rather grateful.

Her magic was much improving. She'd moved onto stronger spells like transforming something into something else and changing parts of her appearances. She no longer needed to chant for the smaller spells and she was even managing the conjuring of very powerful spells such as invisibility, strong shields and making things increase or decrease in size. Of course these spells left her rather drained but she enjoyed the knowledge that she could do them and in time she'd be able to feel more able to perform them.

As for her physical training, she was now an advanced rider and she considered herself a rather good archer. She still had trouble wielding heavy weapons on a horse though she was adequate with a sword at the very least. She was now being taught with a focus on the throwing sports such as javelin, shot put and the like. In terms of combat she wasn't doing too badly either. Her athletic abilities were a little better but there was much room for improvement.

At the end of a particularly gruelling day, Catherine and Sif made their way back to the palace, tired and hungry. Catherine had begun to get some new respect for Sif, the training she must have gone through to be that good, must have been exhausting. Not that she would admit this to her. She really didn't need Sif getting some sort of superiority complex. Sif already dealt with Catherine with a sharp tongue, she didn't need to boost the Goddess' ego too.

As they were heading towards the palace, Catherine caught a glimpse of the memorial gardens and stopped, frowning as she found herself becoming lost in memories and thoughts. Thoughts of the little boy in that garden and the memory of all his family gathered around mourning him. It was a strange kind of comfort in a way. She jumped when she felt her arm yanked and found herself being dragged away by Sif. "Come on, Catherine, get a grip," Sif muttered.

Catherine shook her head and followed Sif into the palace. It was only when they stepped inside that she remembered tonight was the night of a ball Odin was hosting with some diplomats from the other worlds. She sighed as she remembered telling Frigga she'd come if only to allay her worries.

By the gods how she hated formal occasions now that Loki was gone. Before his death the pair of them had been able to enjoy the evening by spending time with each other and ignoring anyone else. Now that she was alone, she'd have to either find a way to entertain herself or talk to someone. This was going to be ridiculously boring but if it stopped Frigga worrying and having Thor drop by for concerned visits then she'd have to put up with it for one night. Perhaps she could try and go over some magic theory whilst she was there? She doubted she could bring a book, even a small one without appearing rude. Oh well, it seemed that she would have to make a quick getaway as soon as possible.

"I'll call for you when it's time for the ball," said Sif.

"I'll be waiting with baited breath," Catherine muttered sarcastically.

"Oh quit being so grump," Sif sighed. "There will be plenty of people to talk to tonight. In fact you'll probably get a fair bit of male attention. It's a chance to have some fun. No one will judge you for it," she added and shrugged. "Anyway I'll see you later," she said before hurrying off.

Catherine growled under her breath. She had no intention of enjoying any male attention tonight.

XMARVELX

Catherine stared at the dresses in front of her. There were a few suitable ones and a few not. The gold dress was out. The maroon dress hung in front of her and she blushed a little to remember Loki taking her in it on his bed in his bedchambers.

She closed her eyes as she remembered the feel of him inside her, touching her, kissing her so gently as though she were something fragile and then kissing her so fiercely she feared she would burn up with the passion. No, she could never wear that dress in public again, knowing what she had done in it. Maybe that was the night our son was conceived, a sobering thought hit Catherine sending ice down her back.

Definitely not the maroon dress, Catherine decided quickly. She picked out a long sleeved blue gown. It was covered up even over the chest area. She smiled a little. That one would do. If there was nothing to look at, there was nothing to lust for. She changed into it and let her hair fall loosely about her shoulders. Raising her hand to her head, she allowed some magic into her hair, making it shimmer and sparkle a little. She paused. Why had she bothered to make such an effort? She would not welcome any advances made tonight.

Maybe it's time you felt like a woman again, a voice inside her head spoke. You don't need to dress up for other men but maybe for you. How long has it been since you felt so feminine and beautiful?

She sighed and turned away from the mirror. She slipped into her shoes just as a knock came on the door. She took her bag and opened the door. Sif was waiting, dressed in a simple but elegant black, one shouldered dress. Typical Sif manages to look gorgeous no matter what she wears, Catherine thought to herself before shaking her head and following Sif out of the hallway.

XMARVELX

The ball was even bigger than Catherine had imagined it. It was full of people and already Catherine could see that her presence had attracted a few people's attention. It filled her with nerves and she found herself suddenly wishing for Loki. Her hand automatically reached out for him only to close on thin air. Her eyes stung with the force of keeping tears back. No, she would keep her head and not lose it. It was only a few hours. She walked further into the room and tried not to look at anyone for too long. She could tell Sif had already left her side, no doubt to find Thor already.

She didn't know why Sif bothered. Thor liked that Jane girl did he not? Oh to be sure that Catherine didn't take an interest in gossiping herself but every so often she heard rumours spread around the palace so she wasn't a total hermit. But then surely Sif had heard those rumours too and if they were true then why would she continue to put herself in the way of heartbreak for a man she could never have? She didn't understand it at all but then she herself had never been in that position.

She approached the table and picked up a goblet of wine, sipping it slowly. Alcohol was here, yes, the only thing that could possibly make this party bearable. However she knew she'd have to be discreet since Thor remembered her last incident with the demon drink. Even now Catherine still insisted that she had every right to drink. But she had to admit she had less reason to get completely drunk now that she was kept occupied in the day and night. But once in a while surely wouldn't do her any harm now would it?

She was wandering around and drinking slowly when she heard voices ahead of her. She couldn't help but hear what the people were saying even as she moved to step away.

"I feel for the mother, I really do but really, that Loki wasn't a patch on Thor. He caused so much trouble in the end with no thought for those around him. If he had, that lass he knocked up wouldn't have had to go through so much and maybe their child would still live."

"Oh yes, thoughtless behaviour. There's a reason that Odin didn't make him the heir apparent."

"It was only because of Thor's banishment he got the throne in the first place. Frigga must have been driven mad by worry for her husband to put that boy in charge of Asgard."

Catherine turned and observed the group gossiping about Loki with growing distaste. Irritation built up within her, slowly turning to anger. How dare they, how dare they say such horrible things behind Frigga's back? How dare they insult Loki's memory now that he was gone? She felt her hand tighten on the goblet and she finished the drink quickly before putting the empty goblet on a passing waiter's tray and collecting a new drink. She advanced on the group with a building rage, listening to them carefully.

"That girl is hardly blameless you know! She stood by and let him do those things!"

"Well naturally she couldn't argue with him since he was fucking her. She was no doubt given special privileges for that."

Catherine's stomach turned at the gossip and insinuations made against her. She sipped from her goblet before the urge to throw it at the group overcame her too much.

"She should have saved herself until she was married. Now look at her, unmarried, a dead baby and cracking up from what I hear," another was saying.

"I hear she's making progress and it's all thanks to Lady Sif," said a tall man.

"Lady Sif is far too kind to be devoting so much talent to Loki's wastrel." One of the women spoke with a haughty air that almost made Catherine laugh bitterly. Instead she moved forward and cleared her throat.

"Loki's what, sorry?" she asked in a falsely pleasant voice. The group fell silent, clearly abashed. Catherine felt a twisted pleasure in making them squirm. She looked around them with a polite but cold smile. "Come come, you are the gossip mongers are you not? Do you not create spiteful gossip and rumours about people in order to feel better about your own lives?"

The woman sniffed. "I hardly think you're in a situation to judge us."

"Have you ever been in love… any of you?" Catherine asked, her voice as sharp as glass. "Or had children?" she looked about them waiting for a reply. When none was forthcoming, she laughed coldly. "I should have known really. It's easier to slander what you don't know. After all why would anyone willingly lay with a block of stone. It can't feel emotions, it can't feel pleasure and it's certainly not good company," she smirked. "But that is why you gossip isn't it? Because you're not worth anything yourselves so you make other people feel worthless. Bring them down to your level, is that not your strategy?" she asked icily.

"Well I say, wait just a minute-" one of them began but Catherine let out a sharp laugh.

"Oh please, don't even try!" Catherine snorted. "You make me sick and to be honest, you're not even worth the effort of arguing with! Good luck with your sad lives!" she said with a flourish before walking away with a rather satisfied smirk. That felt good and the alcohol hadn't even kicked in yet.

She downed the rest of her drink and grabbed another. Arguing had been a wonderful way to relieve some of the tension. As she turned around, Catherine noted that the group must be talking about her from their furtive glances. As she looked down at her goblet, she had a wicked idea. Gazing back up, she focused on one of the women's hair arrangement and with a slight twist of her fingers, her hair became orange and fell out of its clasp.

Loud gasps sounded from the group, attracting other people's attention. Catherine grinned as she turned to one of the men in the group and caused his pants to fall down. She then proceeded to turn another man's robes bright green and make another woman's dress balloon out until a loud bang echoed around the hall and the woman was left with tatters for a dress.

Catherine smirked and sipped some of her drink as panic began to unfold amongst the guests who were looking everywhere for the source of the magic. It was fifteen minutes before Odin could get them all to calm down and get what tailors he could in for the woman in the dress. Straight after that, was time for the meal. Once again Catherine sat by Frigga and couldn't resist a couple of amused glances towards the gossips at the end of the table. They were looking rather disgruntled which pleased her greatly. They were a spineless spiteful bunch and she was very much glad that she had taught them a lesson to remember.

The meal passed quite quickly and once over, people gathered together for the dancing and chatting around the hall. Catherine immediately retreated to the wall as she watched the dancing, losing herself in a pleasant memory.

She and Loki were standing together at a ball watching the dancing around them. Catherine was watching bemused since it looked like it would be a bit of a boring activity. Not that it was one she'd ever gotten to try before but still. She glanced at Loki who smiled at her shyly. She looked away and wondered when they could sneak out and chat. It was boring here. After a few moments Loki stepped in front of her and bowed, offering a hand to her.

"Would you like to try out this dance, Catherine?" he asked with a playful smile on his face.

Catherine blinked in shock before taking his hand and letting him guide her into the masses. His free arm wrapped around her waist and suddenly they were moving along with the crowds, gracefully, spinning through the people and moving faster than the others. It took Catherine a moment to realise that Loki was practically carrying her through the dance since she knew none of the steps.

She looked up at him and at his gentle smile and couldn't help returning it, looking into emerald eyes.

Catherine blinked out of the memory and finished her drink. She'd had enough for tonight. Putting the drink aside, she headed straight for the door and out into the hallways, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone before she did.