Fresh Start Chapter 6
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ -/-/-/-/
After a restless sleep, I find myself at on an unknown couch but as I turn around, I lock eyes with a concerned Joey and I realise I must have spent the night at Joey and Alice's. As I think back to the past 24 hours, I know I need to talk to my Dad as previous issues between us are resurfacing for me but as I think back to where it started, tears start to pool to my eyes and it doesn't take long before they crawl down my cheeks, causing Joey to sit next to me on the couch and hug me, knowing I need support right now.
"Babe, you know you can talk to me, right? Just don't push me away. I promised you that I would be here, I mean it. This fresh start means that we can talk to each other about anything, I need you to know that". Taking Joey's words, I realise that now is the time to reveal the Branning family history that has hurt me so much and as Alice peeks her head in, I realise they both deserve to know the truth.
"Al, come in, after all this is your House. You both have known me for 18 months now and I think you both deserve to know about everything that has happened in the past that has caused me to be like this. Ok, it all started when I was 10, I caught my Dad kissing another woman, that was when he had his first affair. The image that I have kept in my mind continues to stay there when I told Mam with what I saw. Ever since then, I have been between Mam and Dad and their problems, been forced to keep their secrets and their lies, no wonder I am so screwed, right?".
After putting the truth out there, the emotions get the better of me and I can't help but break down in Joey's arms, allowing the pressures of the last 10 years finally get to them fully with my emotions, not realising how tried I am as I end up falling asleep in my boyfriend's arms again, much to the concern of both Joey and Alice.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ -/-/-/-/-/
Feeling emotionally drained, I finally leave Joey and Alice's, much tp their concern and needing space from everyone, I head to the swings next to the Arches and I am not fully surprised to find Jay looking depressed, knowing that this is Abi and Jay's place. With the overprotectiveness of being Abi's older sister starting to come through, I quietly sit next to Jay, ready to give him some advice about what to do, knowing that he has made a mistake but overall he has still hurt my sister.
"Hey. Why aren't you with Dex? He needs you, you know? After what his Dad has done to his Mam, he needs his best mate to make sure that he gets stopped from doing anything stupid"
"You hate me, don't you ? Lauren, trust me, I never planned to hurt Abi like this. Sleeping with that woman was a mistake. Everything that happened with Phil and the anniversary with my Dad's death it got to me. I mean, I know I should have opened to Abi and allowed her to help me through it. But I'm an idiot, you don't have to tell me that"
Hearing Jay break down over his stupid mistake, I put my own problems to the side and I make sure that Jay doesn't blame himself entirely for this. When I first heard that Jay cheated on Abi with a random woman, I wanted to rig his neck for hurting my baby sister. As after leaving the residential clinic, I made the promise to myself and Abi is that I would protect her if anyone would hurt her but I can't fully blame Jay for everything as it is clear that something is seriously wrong with my sister and I wish I could do something about it.
"Jay, I don't hate you, what I didn't realise before is that you have made a mistake. No matte what I say, I can't make you feel worse than you already do. Abs loves you, that is probably never going to change, it is going to just take time for her to trust you again but all of this is not your fault as something is clearly wrong with her and none of us know what is wrong. If you can help, I would apprecipate it"
Seeing that Jay has agreed to helping, I grasp onto his hand and we both sit in silent, hoping that we can get to the bottom of what is wrong with Abi and as I think about Abi, I know now more than ever that I need to sort my problems out with my Dad just so we can stick together to help Abi through her problems. She shouldn't have to come up to a tension worthy House.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ -/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
Coming back into the House after taking a brief visit to Bianca's to make sure Liam was handling everything okay that was happening with Cindy, I wasn't prepared to come back to such a silent House and my anger towards my Dad almost comes down when I see tears coming down his face but as I think about the memories of the last 10 years and the hell I have been through, the anger comes back and I know as I close the kitchen door that a lot of truths are going to come out which could hurt us both in the long-term. "All I want to you to do is let me explain. Not just for yesterday but everything that I've ever done to his family. I never ever wanted to hurt this family. Babe, when I had that first affair, I never wanted you to see that, that was possibly the last thing I wanted. The fact that I have hurted you especially time after time kills me inside. I am so sorry"
"Is that it? You seriously think that a waste of an apology will do anything for all of the hurt that you have caused in the last 10 years. I must be so stupid to think that you could actually change. Who am I kidding, this family is a joke and the fact is that when Abi comes back next week she will need us. She isn't in a good place, she needs us to be united. I hate you for what you keep doing to this family but we needs to stay united for the sake of Abi, ok?".
I don't allow myself to let the tears coming down Dad's face to affect me and as I enter my room, I close the door tightly and sink down to the floor as my Dad's behaviour affects me again with tears crawling down my face. Why do I let my Dad's problems get to me time after time?...
A/N - More Branning family drama is to come. Please Read and Review until next time...