A/N: Oh man. It's been over a month. I apologize. I refuse to go to bed before this gets posted up though, so here we are! At 2am. Morning class tomorrow (oh yeah, school started!). Whooo.
Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.
Antonio hummed happily to himself as he turned off the main road into the quieter, residential street of Fellini Drive. The wind blew a bright orange leaf smack into the middle of his windshield, causing him to grin.
Autumn was kind of a huge deal at the farm. It was during that strange turnover period – the last, hottest days of summer and the beginnings of chilly fall – where it got the busiest. Suddenly, everything had to be harvested (driving the big vehicles was the best part, though) and packed and sent away to the village markets, city restaurants, or even just down to the storage room. Then there were all those people who'd traipse in wanting to go camping in the woods. Sure, they did offer the space as a camping ground all through summer, but for some reason it was always during the warm weekends of September and early October when people suddenly felt like becoming one with nature. Not that the family minded all too much, but it made autumn such a busy time.
So it was almost November before things wound down and Antonio was able to go visit Lovina again. For the past month she had been calling him every other day to chat and complain about how much school sucked, and he'd laughed through it and told her everything would be okay. But there was something strange about their conversations. Every time he tried to ask her about the rest of her family, she'd snap at him and change the subject.
Another weird thing was that he'd also stopped hearing Feliciana's voice rambling away in the background. Before, she'd cut into their conversation at least once per call. Now it was total silence. This wasn't a big problem for Antonio, because he loved just listening to Lovina's voice (though, to her chagrin, he wasn't always listening to what she was talking about half the time), but sometimes he found himself wondering what was going on.
He tried asking her once, but she'd screamed at him and hung up. And he never wanted that to happen again, so now he just avoided the subject.
The little red car swung left up the driveway in front of the tall, narrow house. As Antonio got out, he could make out a figure nestled in the little wicker chair, high up on the third storey balcony where the twins' bedrooms were.
"Hey, Feli!"
The girl threw him a silent, half-hearted wave from behind her textbook.
"What are you studying? How's AP Art going? Is Lovi ready to go?"
Before Feliciana could reply, the front door burst open and right on cue, Lovina appeared, dragging her duffel behind her.
"Mamma, I'm leaving! Oi, bastard, help me carry this already!"
"Okay!" He hurried over and picked it up. Lovina automatically dropped the strap and marched away before he could hug her hello. Antonio saw Ms. Roma through the open doorway, and waved at her before closing it.
"Hey, stupid! Let's go, I'd rather get there in less than a million years."
"Right, Lovi!" He deposited her bag into the trunk. Slamming down the lid, he glanced up at the balcony again. Feliciana's head drooped over the pages.
"Hurry up!"
"Sorry!" Antonio slid into the front seat. Lovina had already put on her seat belt, slouched down and fingers now drumming impatiently against her elbow. They were soon discharged from their task and given a new one – pushing Antonio away when he tried to give her a kiss.
"Just go, damn it."
"Aren't you going to say goodbye to your sister?"
She scowled at him. "She knows where I'm going and when I'll be back. Feli's fine."
Antonio peered up through the window to the balcony again. Lovina bolted upright.
"Geez, if you're so obsessed with my damn house we might as well stay, idiot!"
"Oh! I'm sorry," he said hastily, starting the ignition. Lovina flopped back against the seat once more as they pulled away.
"So what's up?"
"Nothing. I talked to you last night. What could have possibly happened since then?"
"I don't know. Anything! I mean, last night Sofia and Javier were trying on their costumes, and we discovered that Javier's pants were a bit too big, so Tia Lucia had to fix it, then Sofia thought she lost her sword, so we had to go find it…"
"'Tonio, you can shut up now."
"Just saying, a lot of things could have happened!" But he stopped.
They were making extremely good time for a Saturday morning. It had taken Antonio almost another hour more to go fetch her, having been caught in the commuting rush, but now the highway was practically devoid of other vehicles. Lovina didn't comment when he turned on the radio.
That was puzzling. She never liked the first station he picked, even if she later went back to it. But as the music played over the speakers, Lovina just continued staring out the window.
In exactly two hours and thirty-seven minutes, they were rolling into the sandy parking area in front of the house. Before either of them could unbuckle themselves, the door slammed open and two small and very energetic figures scurried towards them, shouting excitedly.
"'Tonio! 'Tonio! Look at me-"
Lovina yelped when the first thing she saw upon opening the door was the bright orange barrel of a toy gun shoved into her face.
"Bang! Lovi, you're dead!"
"Javier!" Antonio came around to the other side of the car, a little girl hanging off his elbow. "Stop that."
"Lovi, you're coming with us to go trick or treating, right?"
She shrugged noncommittally and picked up her duffel. Both Sofia and Javier hopped around them as they made their way back to the house.
"Lovi gets to stay with me in my room!"
Antonio turned to grin at Lovina, who was trying and failing (oh so cutely!) to mask how flustered she was at being the centre of attention. Even so, there was something…off about her quietness.
The meal was nothing short of chaos. When Tia Lucia peeled Sofia's fingers off Lovina's elbow for the umpteenth time and suggested taking advantage of the lovely weather, Antonio actually got the hint and the two took off towards the woods.
He was hoping that she'd at least say something when they got out of the house. Then he waited until they'd crossed the field. And past the first few trees. By the time they'd reached the steep descent downwards, he couldn't stand it anymore.
"Lovi, you're going to fall if you don't let me go first."
"Go away. I can do it by myself." The pout and stubborn shove reminded him strongly of two children who were probably squabbling just up the hill.
Still, Antonio decided to follow her closely, just in case. It was positively nerve-wracking to watch her teeter on the narrow trail, and all hazardous slippery spots seemed to scream out to him.
"Lovi…is something bothering you?"
She looked over her shoulder and glared at him. "No! Why are you being so annoying?"
He winced when she jumped off the last boulder and landed with a slight stumble. But now they were on even ground. And a good distance away from prying eyes and ears. Antonio could finally interrogate her without having to deal with extraneous distractions.
"Hey, what's going on at home? You can tell me. I'll understand."
Lovina sniffed and walked away from him, tapping the trees with a stick she'd found. "No, you won't."
"Aww, come on. Try me." He sidled up behind her. "Please? I'll do anything to make you feel better…"
She sidestepped his sneak hug and frowned, hands on hips. "Stop trying to act cute! It's not funny, damnit!"
"Okay, fine." He dropped his arms and looked her directly in the eye. "I'm serious now. What is it?"
Wishing for this interrogation to be over, Lovina plopped down onto a rock and scowled at an unfortunate Sycamore.
"Long story short, Feli copied Potato Bastard's homework, they got in trouble, so she has no more friends, which made her all mopey and things are just stupidly dumb and awkward now. Are we finished?"
Antonio was shocked. "What?"
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
"But, but…" Antonio struggled to find words to describe his thoughts. "…That's so horrible! Is she alright? Have you helped her?"
Lovina stared at him incredulously. "Helped her with what?"
"Well, I can't imagine having no more friends." He sat down next to her. "So now it's your job to make sure she can still be with someone. Can you imagine how lonely that is?"
Lovina snorted. "Oh, can I. Whatever. She deserves it."
Forget shocked, Antonio was downright appalled at this. "…What?"
She kicked out her legs in front of her moodily. "I told you, you won't understand! You can't. You don't even have any siblings, much less one who, who was always the pretty and cute one, the one everyone likes and talks to, and always talk about how wonderfully talented and creative they are, and saying that you should be more like them…"
The gears in Antonio's brain were still churning. "Wait, who says all this?"
"The hell I know. Anyone. Everyone!" Lovina suddenly curled back up into a ball, ducking her chin behind her knees, eyes still narrowed and burning a hole into the tree trunk across from her. "Even my own mother practically said that Feli is the perfect one and I'm the fuckin' problem child or whatever."
He frowned at her, feeling very uneasy at her outburst. "But that's really not Feli's fault. You should talk to your mom about that. Feli had nothing to do with it…she can't really do anything about other people saying what they want to say."
Lovina's body uncurled itself once again, and she stood up stiffly, seething. "Stop trying to lecture me on what I should do. As I said, you have no, no fucking idea what it's like. Leave me alone!"
She turned to keep on walking, but quickly realized that she was alone. Turning around, Lovina saw that Antonio had not moved from the rock.
"Hey, you know what?" His voice seemed distant, almost detached. "You're right on some points."
"Okay, so maybe I don't know what it's like to have a sister, or a brother…" It was clear that he was feigning nonchalance, scratching his elbow and not looking at her.
"But you know what's so funny? Because of exactly that, I do know how important having one is." Antonio rested his elbows on his knees.
"When my parents got married, my mother got pregnant really quickly afterwards. They were really happy, obviously. She had a baby boy."
Lovina didn't understand how the story of Antonio's birth had anything to do with this, and was going to say so when he continued.
"Of course, they loved him and were excited to watch him grow up, but in the end, they never would." He sighed and flicked at a fallen leaf. "Because that was my brother Luis, and he died after a month."
Lovina's jaw dropped. Antonio kept on talking in that calm, distant tone.
"About two years later they finally had me, and had learned to deal with it and all that. I didn't even know until I was about, oh, ten? I'm not scarred by it or anything. I try to be optimistic. I mean, I never even knew him…so I can't miss him, exactly, but sometimes when I see others like you and Feli it makes me kind of hurt inside. And I wish I could miss him."
Seeing him like this was so strange, so jarring. Not even sad Antonio was like this. Lovina felt her heart flopping around in her ribcage.
She had no clue as to what to say.
At all.
"Well, uh…" Her mind raced. "Okay, I'm sorry…but I don't see how this stops Feli from being an insufferable twit who got everything handed to her on a silver platter."
Antonio slowly looked up and gave her the most gut-wrenching stare. She tried again.
"B-because the point is! I just can't help it that she's finally being treated like a normal human being instead of some stupid angel of cutesy cute and sweetness…"
Now he was the one refusing to look at her. "Whatever, I'm going back."
"Y-you're…what?" The slope suddenly loomed at her, silently taunting her sub-par hiking skills. Maybe she'd been able to make it down without Antonio's help, but going the other way was a completely different story. "You can't do that, idiot!"
"I can, and I'm not an idiot."
She was flabbergasted. Antonio always took whatever she called him in stride. To the point that Lovina thought he didn't even notice. In fact, she hardly noticed. It was just…automatic. You know. Buffer words.
"Y-You BASTARD! I hope you fall and get stuck and have to beg me to help you get back, dumbass. I...I…HEY! Don't ignore me, jerkass STUPID-HEAD!"
Lovina glared at his retreating back. It was definitely not going to happen, since he'd been living here for months now, and before had stayed plenty of times during the holidays. Antonio disappeared behind a turn.
Now she was stuck at the bottom of the hill with nothing but dead leaves, mud, and a sinking feeling of guilt pooling in her stomach. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Still grumbling to herself, Lovina trudged up the path, cursing every time her feet slipped upon the slimy leaves littering her way. Mind still reeling from the information it had received twenty minutes ago.
I never even knew him…so I can't miss him, exactly, but sometimes when I see people like you and Feli it makes me kind of hurt inside. And I wish I could miss him.
W-well…how was she supposed to know? It's not as if she wanted Feliciana gone forever, it was just that it was finally nice to know she wasn't, well, obnoxiously perfect.
She finally dragged her exhausted body over the last ledge and popped out of the trees. Ugh, now there was that stupid field to cross…
Except something made her stop dead in her tracks. Antonio was hurrying back, an expression of complete guilt on his face. He stopped a few feet in front of her. They stared at each other.
"YOU ASSHOLE!" Lovina screeched, charging forward to punch him angrily in the shoulder.
"I'm sorry!"
"YOU! YOU LEFT ME ALONE, YOU STUPID, IDIOTIC, COMPLETE ASS -"
Antonio winced at the barrage of fresh curses and screams hurled at him, and made no move to protect himself. Lovina paused, gasping, searching for some coherency to better express her frustration.
"I…it's not my fault, damnit, I – it's not like, I….argh! I complain about everything, stupid, you didn't have to guilt trip me! Fuck you! Seriously!"
She tried to march past him, but Antonio tried to grab her back. "Lovi-"
Unfortunately for her, Antonio was still stronger than she was, so there was no getting out of the tight hug he bestowed upon her.
Which is why she decided to give up and hug back. Not because she was actually feeling guilty for what she said. Not because she knew that he needed one. And definitely not just because she liked being in his arms.
"Lovi, really, I'm sorry…I won't do it again…"
She groaned inwardly, hating the way he only sounded sad, not angry. Hell, if this happened the other way around, Lovina knew that she wouldn't have forgiven so easily, not by a long shot. Then again, that was why Antonio was Antonio, and why he was such a good person…
"Um. It's…it's okay," she mumbled into his shoulder. Grimacing and squeezing her eyes shut, Lovina sighed. "I…I'm sorry, too…"
Automatically, she yanked away before he could start crushing the life out of her, gushing about how cute she was when she was being honest and all that crap. But he merely patted her on the back and stepped away.
"Hey, if you don't mind me putting it out there…" He averted his eyes, clearly fearing another verbal assault. "I'm just going to put it out there and say that you're only pretending to be mad at your sister since seeing her unhappy makes you uncomfortable, and you want something to blame it on."
He predicted correctly, and Lovina furiously began to defend herself at once.
"…The hell do you mean by that! Like I'm some insecure wimp who's in denial about her-" She lifted her fingers and made air quotations with her fingers, scoffing all the while. "-her true feelings or whatever?"
Antonio had to grin. "Something like that, yeah!"
Lovina snorted. "Not a chance, you dirty bastard."
He laughed, and reached for her hand. The sun, sitting lower in the sky, blinked at them between shadowy clouds.
"Ugh, I'm going to shower and then I'm going to nap."
"You can't."
"Why not?"
"Early dinner. Then bringing Javier and Sofia trick-or-treating! Out here, it's better to get going before it's completely dark."
Lovina groaned. "Do I really have to go?"
"Of course! They won't leave unless you're there too." He smirked and swung their hands back and forth as they ascended the porch steps. "Wait until you see the costume they picked for you."
"WHAT?"
"You'll look so cute, I promise!"
She pulled her hand away and frowned suspiciously. "You're so lucky that I actually like you."
Antonio merely smiled and held the door open as she stomped past him.
A/N: Not exactly the easiest/most pleasant thing to write...but on a happier note, EVERYBODY in his family also adores Lovina. Especially the kids. =D
Note to self: establish regular posting schedule ASAP!