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Chapter Seven

I know a girl, who's nearly a curse

Elphaba was missing a large piece of the puzzle when she came back to Oz after five years being away. Sure, she didn't know about Glinda becoming the Queen or that the Wizard was her father. But she was missing something else. And that something was what she would never truly be able to understand. It was the hole she put in Oz when she left all those years ago.

It happened the same week every year. Every year on the anniversary of the Witch Hunt which killed her best friend, Glinda would lock herself in her room or the library, wrap herself in blankets, and breakdown. In fact, the years after were almost worse than the event itself, because Glinda had no choice but to remind herself of everything Elphaba would never see in Oz. She had to remind herself that Elphaba would never know that the once cowardly lion became a political figure and the first Animal to hold a position of power in many years. Elphaba would never see the abolishing of farms, the abolishment of Animal Slavery. In her first year as Queen, Glinda accomplished so much and as excited as she was, it was heartbreaking. Glinda's face was red and wet with tears year after year. Her eyes would be sunken in and dark circles would form around them. She didn't eat or drink when she could avoid it. It was a week of absolute dread and as the boys came to live with Glinda, they all dreaded it too. It was a week of mourning. They all missed Elphaba and Elphaba had no idea how those five years felt.

Even though Glinda was doing better, more honest with the kingdom, she was still far from herself. She put on a face for the people, to tell them of the changes. She was honest and kept herself together during council meetings, but alone, she was a wreck. There were horrible moments where she would stay in her pajamas all day, never get out of bed, and break down every second she could afford to. There were years of her life spent crying and visiting Elphaba's grace. The flower shop helped her with enchanted roses that grew into an emerald green color just for her to drop off at Elphaba's grave. And while Glinda was there all she could ever think about was the way she wished more than anything to see Elphaba. To change the events and go with Elphie when the Wizard was after her. She wished her decisions were all based around getting more time. That's all she wanted, more time.

Crope, Tibbett, and Boq did everything they could for Glinda over the years. They allowed her to grieve, but tried their best to get her to eat a meal a day, they tried to get her to talk. She was much quieter when it came to talking about how she felt. She didn't feel like she had the words to express how it felt. She felt like the could physically feel the loss. She could feel the tightness in her chest and Hollowness of her body. For the first two or three years after Elphaba's "death" Glinda hardly felt like she was living. And then after those years, everything was fragile. If someone had said anything, even the smallest phrase the wrong way she would break down. She was glass. It was no secret that she took Elphaba's passing worse than anyone in their group of friends. She was devastated and partially convinced that the Unnamed God had smited her for not knowing whether she believed or not.

Though, of it all, the mourning, being Elphaba's best friend, everyone staring at her with the look that just resonated with pity, the worst was never telling Elphaba the truth. Since the night of the Ozdust dance, Glinda had been falling for Elphaba Thropp. She had fallen in love with her beautiful complexion, her sweet gestures, and every snippy comment that Elphaba who she was. Glinda had tried to tell her, too, so many times over she had opened her mouth to speak and had yet to ever force the words to come out. She had spent so many hours going over the Speech. In their dorm, she had imagined just walking over to Elphaba and kissing her. She wondered how Elphie would react, what she would say, and most of all if she would ever return the feelings. Glinda had thought that pining over Elphaba and the green girl never returning her feelings was the worst feeling. She was wrong. The worst feeling was the emptiness that hallowed out her chest because not only did Glinda never tell Elphaba how she felt, but She would never even get to see her again.

That was the piece in the puzzle that Elphaba was missing and the reason Glinda woke up the next morning having another panic attack. This time it woke her up pushed her to curl up in a ball, begging body to remember that Elphaba was just in the room next door. It was before daylight still, but it wouldn't stop. So she pushed her shaking legs off the bed and stilled her hand enough to turn the doorknob and leave her room. Only this time, when she reached Elphaba's room and saw her there, still sleeping in bed, the panic attack didn't go away. It was still there as if her eyes couldn't be sure that this wasn't a dream. She had to know it was real.

So that morning, hardly at the crack of dawn, Glinda slipped forward to Elphaba's bed and laid down under the covers. Elphaba, being the heavy sleeper she was because of how little sleep she got, hardly rustled. That is, not until Glinda shifted to get more comfortable. That was when Elphaba turned over and wrapped a long arm around Glinda's waist and snuggled her nose into Glinda's neck. Not only did Glinda's panic attack dissipate, but her stomach went from knots to butterflies. Her face flushed pink and she had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down enough to relax.

The next thing Glinda knew, she was waking up in Elphaba's bed with Elphaba reading a book next to her, "Good Morning, Sleepy." Elphaba muttered before going back to her place in whatever book she was reading now. Glinda took the time to notice that Elphaba had a stack of books from the library on her nightstand. The thought that Elphaba enjoyed the library that much made Glinda smile.

"Good Morning," Glinda replied, stretching out her muscles that had stuck in a huddled position around her pillow for the last few hours.

"Did you sleep well?" Elphaba cocker an eyebrow at her, almost expectant of an explanation for Glinda sleeping in her room.

"I..uh.." Glinda then remembered the panic attack she had a few hours before.

"Nightmare?" Elphaba asked, this time giving Glinda more of her attention.

Glinda looked around the room and sighed, "Something like that."

Glinda realized then how late in the day it was. How the shadow of the sun was far passed rising, "Oh my, I-I overslept. Crope is going to kill-"

"Crope came in at sunrise and I told him you needed to sleep." Elphaba interrupted in a very matter of fact way that made Glinda's heart jump, "Tibbett came in a few minutes ago and told me breakfast would be soon. I didn't want to risk waking you if I left. Crope told me I should stay."

Glinda wondered if Crope would be expecting a conversation about this later, "oh," She slouched. "Alright." Her shoulders were still tensed.

"You're not relaxing," Elphaba notes, though she doesn't look up from her book.

"I don't.." Glinda furrows her brow, "usually have time to relax." She sighed, sitting further up in bed

"Maybe that's why you have nightmares," Elphaba replied, still trying to read amidst their conversation. Glinda wondered if such multitasking was possible.

"I have a kingdom to run," Glinda mumbled.

"Still, everyone needs a break at some point. You're most likely overdue." Elphie said, finally giving up on the book entirely and bookmarking it.

Glinda got up from the bed then and shook her head, "No, I need to go see Crope. My treaty has already been denied and I need to work to amend it today."

Elphaba got up with her and walked around the bed, "I think you need a day to relax."

"I had a day yesterday when we went shopping," Glinda told her, as they walked out the door and down the hall.

Elphaba only laughed to herself, "I'm sorry if you call running around the city after getting up before the sun to work a day off then this is way worse then I thought."

The maze began as they turned from one hall to the next, making their way to the dining hall, "Elphie, I don't exactly have time to take off. Besides, to the citizens of Oz already, I've been gone for weeks.."

"But to you, it was less than a day. You need rest, besides I already-" they turned into the dining room just then and eyes were on the two. Elphaba cut her sentence short when she realized that everyone was staring at their small argument.

When Elphie didn't continue, Crope spoke in the silence, "I thought she was supposed to be relaxing?" He asked.

Glinda's eyes narrowed at Elphaba, "What is going on?"

"Glin, we just thought-" Boq started in as he set down a tin of butter.

Glinda looked between all of them and caught up quick, "You thought what? Is this some kind of intervention? I had a nightmare, not a stroke."

"Glinda," Crope sighed out.

"Crope, you mean little- You just told me yesterday that I need to be more focused," Glinda argued, her fist clenched. Still, Elphaba couldn't help but notice how cute she was when she was angry. The way her perfect blonde curls bounced on her shoulders. The way her eyebrows curled into her perfect eyes. Elphaba had never thought anyone to be so perfect.

Boq again took the conversation, "Glinda, all we're saying is that you deserve a break. You work hard and-"

"A Queen does not take-"

Elphie wrapped around Glinda's and all of a sudden she forgot what she was saying. She wondered for a moment if Elphie knew what power she had over Glinda, "Glinda," She practically whispered, "Can you just, spend today with me?"

Glinda gulped and cleared her throat. She didn't expect anything like that to come into this conversation. She had no retort, "I-I- of course." Her breath was shaky.

Crope took the moment then, had Elphaba take a seat for breakfast, and took Glinda out into the hall. Glinda opened her mouth to speak, but Crope was a step ahead of her, "Before you say anything..." He started. He waited for Glinda to nod her head before continuing, "Elphaba asked if you could take a day off, because you were having nightmares. She said that you only had nightmares when you were stressed back at Shiz." Glinda fidgeted back and forth and twiddled her thumbs. If anything, she was impressed and surprised that Elphaba even remembered that. All those years ago, before every final Glinda would get nightmares and many times over Elphaba had a calming tea ready for her to help get back to sleep. Crope coughed to get her attention back on him, "and when she said that, I realized that I was being hard on you. I'm sorry."

Glinda nodded her head and wiggled her nose a little in response, "Thank you." She practically mouthed from how quiet it was.

"It also made me think about how absolutely heartbroken you have been for years. How much I know I would've missed Tibbett." He whispered to her and her heart clenched over it, "Take today to spend time with Elphie and if it feels right, talk." He told her. "Just don't think about being Queen, today be Glinda. I'll handle the rest."

"I, uh," Glinda was surely caught by surprise, but she still didn't feel like she had a choice in the matter, "Thank you." She finally said. They went back to breakfast, sat down, and Glinda tried to force her shoulders to relax, which didn't seem very feasible. This entire situation made her a bit uneasy. She had never left the kingdom and while it didn't feel like she had been gone a while, she had missed things. She hated it, if she was being honest. The council had already been hard on her yesterday for the weeks she had abruptly left for and even more so they wouldn't stop going on about the Lurlinemas Eve ball. To them, it was another attempt to trick Glinda into courting. Each province of Oz had already offered up their most impressive suitor and each year she had let them down. The council was all about an heir. And not that Glinda hadn't thought about it. She refused to leave the kingdom in anyone's hands that weren't capable enough to hold it. But she'd been grieving. She didn't want to think about courting anyone in the loss of Elphaba Thropp. No one would ever be Elphaba. Still, she couldn't be mad at the council for wanting an heir, they didn't know about her feelings for Elphaba. The only person she had ever told about her feels for Elphie was Crope and that wasn't really on purpose. Crope has accused her of having feelings on the night of her wedding to Fiyero which she thanked the Unnamed God that their marriage was never finalized. It was an arranged marriage, one that Glinda had used as a distraction from the Wicked Witch if only to give Elphie more time to get back underground. She offered it as a diplomatic marriage to keep Morribke from hurting Elphaba any worse. Fiyero had agreed to it because he never really knew what love was. He was blind to anything but the way he swooned over girls. Always too quick. It was a sighting of the Wicked Witch that had interrupted the ceremony and after seeing the look on Glinda's face when Fiyero and Elphie left together, Crope asked. Because he had never seen her look at Fiyero like that. He had never seen Glinda look at anyone with that look mixed with love, adoration, and heartbreak. Besides that she had hardly looked at Fiyero when they left, she only stared at Elphie.

It was hard to finish breakfast when she had everything on her mind.

After breakfast, the boys split off and the girls made their way back towards their rooms, "So, what would you like to do today?" Glinda finally asked in the silence of their walk. To her, everything she would find fun might be a little less than stressful. Shopping was a workout. Being out in town was hard with all of the press. She wasn't even sure what they could do that wouldn't be stressful.

Elphaba thought for a moment and wiggled her nose when she did. That was something that hadn't changed. When Elphaba was thinking and especially when she was studying, she would always crinkle and move her nose. It was something Glinda swooned over how adorable it was, "I was thinking we stay inside, lay down for a while and just talk."

Talking. That statement alone made Glinda nervous. As much as she wished it wasn't, her feelings for Elphaba we're apart of her stress. With the council pushing her into the next suitor from a rich family and Crope begging her to be honest, it was a bit stressful. "Okay." She said, trying to keep her smile, "I'd like that."

This time, Glinda took Elphaba into her own room. As Elphaba walked in, she was once again taken back by the large, vast, and beautiful view. It was everything Glinda was put into a room. A walk-in closet filled with ball gowns and the such, as well as some more practical outfits. Her bathroom was huge with a bath, shower, twin sinks. The bed was covered in a princess duvet all around. The balcony looked over all of Emerald city and it's beautiful colors, as well as the snowfall from last night. The room was gorgeous and with a small hint of pink - very Glinda. "These rooms are really something else."

"Fit for a Queen I suppose." Glinda looked it over and realized that she never really had cared what it looked like. She hadn't cared for much materials after Elphie passed. Glinda went and laid down, trying to be as comfortable as she could, but as Elphie sat down she started to feel her heartbeat. Elphie next to her and around her was something she was still getting used to, "So tell me something."

"What?" Elphie asked as they faced each other.

"Whatever happened between you and Fiyero... when you left." Glinda tried to sound, uninterested, but if she was being honest she was starting to sound pathetic.

Elphaba laid back on the bed and stared at the top of the duvet. It was different from the rest of the duvet because it was dark and Glinda had enchanted it to show the night sky constantly. She was nervous about telling Glinda this, not knowing that Glinda and Fiyero's marriage was arranged,"I guess we were just both in the wrong place. We tried to date I suppose, but it didn't last more than a few months and he moved on. I wasn't heartbroken, I'm not sure if I liked him or if he was just the only person I had when I left." Elphaba tried to get it all out, "I'm sorry about.. everything." She finished.

"You don't have to apo-"

"Yes, I do. He was your fiancée.. I never should have-"

"He wasn't."

"Wasn't?"

Glinda licked her lips, "My fiancé. He wasn't."

Elphaba clicked her tongue, "You never mentioned that, in your letters." Elphaba replied, watching a shooting start float across the sky duvet, unable to meet Glinda's gaze.

Glinda only shrugged, "I don't know. It was arranged. I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to keep the attention off of you."

"Okay." Elphaba kind of mumbled. She was thinking back to the day she did find out. The day she came to see Nessarose and turned Boq into a tin man. When Nessarose had mentioned the wedding, the engagement, Elphaba had nearly puked. She couldn't imagine losing Glinda so she had to go. She just had to. No choice in the matter, she went, she interrupted the ceremony. She amazingly stopped the wedding and Fiyero decided to come with her. At that moment she was angry at Glinda and heartbroken. That same night she slept with Fiyero, mostly out of spite of the wedding. She regretted it almost immediately. She hardly liked him as a person, they were never really friends in school. She just wanted someone who wanted her at the time and she was alone.

Between the girls, they could feel a barrier of silence, of all the thoughts they had yet to say to each other. It was everything that had been weighing on Glinda's shoulders and all she wanted was to let it all out. She wanted to tell Elphaba everything, but the cost was too high of Elphie decided to leave her. Elphaba on the other hand was in awe of everything Glinda had done. All she had In return was heartbreak for Glinda to remember. Elphie wondered if this was the reason after all those years she hadn't come see Glinda. Maybe it wasn't the Wizard - her father - at all. Maybe it was making Glinda's life harder. She hated the idea that she could potentially make things worse by being there. She also wished more than anything that Glinda would share her burdens more, allow herself to lean on the friends she had. She wanted to help Glinda the best she could, but she didn't know how if Glinda wasn't going to open up, "So what is your treaty about?" Elphie finally asked, hoping to change the subject of silence. Glinda puzzled her eyebrows at the green girl, asking how she knew about a treaty at all. "You mentioned it being denied by the council. What was it?"

Glinda wiggled her nose in thought, "Animal Marriage rights." She finally said, "I'd like to give them a chance to get more financially by being able to get married, as well as the obvious reasons."

Elphie nodded, but bit her lip, "Why didn't it go through?"

Glinda shook her head, "The majority of the council is still a bit stuck in their older ways. I had to fight tooth and nail for a lot of my bills to go through. They have.. different kind of options," as she finished the sentence, she was thinking again about the stress of having an heir and the Lurlinemas Eve ball. Eventually, she'd have to tell Elphaba about the suitors. She wondered if Elphie would care if she knew, but all of those thoughts just led back to the big question. Whether Elphie liked her or not was the biggest question there was and she was killing her self over it.

"Oz has traditions, that's for sure." Elphaba replied, "I'm sure a lot of your ideas have been hard to get through. But you'll get through it. You're resourceful and smart and incredibly charismatic." She said, putting a hand out and nearly feeling the coolness of the night air in the image, "Did I mention an amazing sorceress?"

Glinda rolled over and watched Elphaba gaze at her night sky, the stars mirroring in her eyes. She was absolutely beautiful and the look in her eyes when she realized Glinda was staring was even more precious. She was being honest and Glinda, while she put up a confident front, had never felt that any of those things were true, "Do you really mean that?" She asked.

Elphaba turned then and their faces were inches apart. Elphaba put her head over one pillow and looked Glinda straight in the eyes, "Of course, Glinda. You're amazing and you don't even know it." She took her free hand and pushed Glinda's hair behind her ear. Glinda couldn't help the blush that spread across her face. Her heart was beating out of her chest and she wondered if Elphaba could feel it against her neck.

"So are you." Glinda whispered back as she let her hand fall on Elphaba's hip. She could hardly breathe at the moment. Elphaba's skin turned a darker green that Glinda would've sworn was a blush. Elphaba's skin was fire hot.

Elphaba's lungs were taking in shaking breathes as they fell silent in such a closed position. Elphaba could've sworn that Glinda had looked down at her lips, but she couldn't be for sure. Was this really something friends did? She wasn't ever really sure, she'd never been so close to someone before. Glinda was her closest friend and what if she was wrong? She couldn't imagine losing Glinda - but just as the thoughts registered in her head, Glinda did it again. This time, Elphaba was so sure that it happened, she leaned in. She leaned in closer and closer. Finally, their lips touched.

All at once neither of them could think anymore. Their lips touched and it was soft and vulnerable. Neither can hear anything other than the sound of their heartbeat in their ears. All at once the room around them is gone and it was nothing but the slightest touch of their lips meeting. Glinda's stomach was doing flips and she felt like she was on the smooth, long road down a hill. It was as if her entire body had floated and fallen up and down. She was absolutely falling for, sure. She had hardly realized what was happening, Elphaba was lifting the kiss and coming back, moving her lips over Glinda's. Elphaba's hand had moved from the side of her head to the back of her head and finally, Glinda was kissing her back.

But just as soon as Glinda felt it happening, it was gone. Elphaba had pulled back and not only that but scrambled off the bed. In her rush, she had only mumbled something about going to the library and a brief, "I have to go - I'm sorry." Before she was gone and Glinda was left, shocked.