Mz Hyde

by Silentkiller013

The secret of my past was shared with only one, and now he's dead. Even dear Brother knows nothing of the sin that flows through my bloodline. I am a monster hidden under a mortal's skin. I never thought I could become more inhuman. Yet that man proved me wrong. God help me I love him. The one who makes me feel human. (Rated M for a reason.)

7. The Start of a New Life? (edited)

**Kitten: I'm editing this chapter and I have no idea if it will be completely different or not. I do know I need to rearrange the timeline for Nikita's past just a bit. We'll find out, but either way it's getting changed. So my friends have fun reading and thanks for the understanding!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing... I don't think I could come up with such a genius plot. A 3 sided war between Nazi's, Puritans, and Catholics? Wow! Good job Hirano! I also don't own Matty. She belongs to Mr. Schrodinger!

Recap: I could feel my heart beat again, and my vision came back, though I could only see shapes and shadows. The red that was above my head was the first person I recognized. I looked to him, and with my last bit of strength, grabbed the end of his trench coat. My heart stopped for the second time, and this time, it would not beat again. I closed my eyes, my hand going limp and falling to the ground while I heard the screams from several people in the room completely fade. I let the darkness take me, never to return again.

I really couldn't feel anything, lying there on my back in the darkness. It felt like I was floating, and I just kind of let myself there. I had no reason to move. Where would I move to? There was nothing to move towards. A sigh left my lips and that too floated around above me until it dispersed. I closed my eyes and my nose started to itch. I reached up to scratch it, but found that I couldn't move. My eyes flew open and I immediately wanted to shut them again, though I couldn't. Millions of eyes – no – hundreds of millions! All of them were fixated on me, all of them glowing crimson. That familiar laughter echoed all around me, to the point where I felt like I could touch the sound if I so chose to. Something wet and warm started to slide down my face. Not even seconds after, I felt it all over my body. I looked down as best as I could and tried to scream, but there was no noise. I was bleeding, and profusely. All of the cuts I had obtained, the knife to my leg, the hole in my stomach, the bruises, the scars, all of them were back, and with them so was the pain. All I could do was watch, as the blood flowed from my body, unable to move, unable to stop the bleeding. So much blood... I tried to swallow, but my mouth and throat were as dry as a desert. I needed a drink...

"Give me back my blood..." My own whispered words surprised me. Where had that come from? Did I even know someone was taking my blood in the first place? But I did know someone had taken it. Someone was drinking it. I could feel the teeth in my neck though I could not see if they were actually there.

"You have no need for it." I knew that voice all too well. He wore a huge grin as he approached me. I followed him with my eyes, unable to move my head. "Do you hate me for what I've done?"

"What do you mean? What have you done to me? I don't understand." I managed to choke the words out, only to sputter more blood from my body. Alucard's grin widened and my eyes widened in realization. "You actually bit me, you son of a bitch!" The teeth I felt in my neck had not been my imagination. He started to laugh, and all I could do was lay there in silence as tears built up in my eyes. "Why?" The word was barely a whisper, but the vampire still heard it, and he stopped laughing instantly.

"You chose this, Malyutka. Why else would you fight for the life you knew that you would never have been able to live unless you were immortal? Why would you fight to protect the ones you hold dear when you couldn't even keep yourself alive? Why would you grab my coat in earnest, praying to your pathetic God that he might let you live to see your comrades through the rest of their lives? In that moment of death, you chose to live, and I gave you that chance." I went silent, remembering my thoughts before death. I had certainly begged for my life despite denying immortality. Alucard bent down over me, a smug look on his face. "The heart and soul reveal their true colors when you are in the face of death. Your colors are admirable. It's a shame you had to become what you hate to accomplish what you wish to. Now. Awaken. You have company."

-o-

My eyes fluttered open, and even though it was dark, I found that I could see just fine. There was a light snore off to my left, and I looked over to find my brother, slouched in a chair, his hat covering most of his face, and completely out of it. I wanted to laugh with happiness, but my throat was dry, and it felt all raspy. Off to my right, Matty was leaning against a window, her head resting on her arm that was in turn set on the sill. She too was asleep, but unlike Pip did not snore. I smiled when I saw her, glad that she was safe. She must have cleaned herself up a bit too, because she was in a different outfit and was no longer covered in ghoul blood. I was happy enough to cry. Because they were alive, and I was alive as well to see them.

"I see you're awake." My eyes flickered over to the door as it opened. There, masked by the light behind her, but still able to be known by her form and voice, stood Sir Integra. I sat up slowly, trying to fight against stiff joints and tired muscles. "It seems you're also aware of what you've become." I nodded, still not wanting to speak because of my parched throat. "Walter, bring her in something to drink."

"Yes, Sir." Walter must have been outside the door because I saw a shadow pass by, and heard footsteps leading away from my room.

"You're not as noisy as police girl, that's for sure. She decided to scream like a maniac to the point where I feared she would bring the house down when she first figured out what she had become." I smiled crudely. That sounded just like something she would do. An annoyance in the air to my left and right indicated that both Matty and Brother had woken up and that they were trying to make themselves aware of what was happening. Walter reappeared, and waltzed over to me, a kind smile on his face. He handed me a glass of what looked like champagne. I sniffed at it, and immediately I knew that it was not alcohol. The rusty scent of blood wafted from that glass, and while I was fascinated by it, I would not drink it. I tried to hand it back, but Walter swiftly walked away from me, and because I didn't want to break the glass I was given, I set it on my nightstand. "You're going to want to drink that. Don't worry, we didn't get it from anyone here. That came from blood bags. It's what helps sustain our vampires."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I have trouble with blood enough. How long have I been out?" My voice cracked, but I refused to drink. I feared what would happen if I did. Would I be able to stop? Would I have enough self control not to scare those close to me while I drank it? Integra sighed.

"You're going to be just like police girl until you snap. I can tell. You've been out for three days." I crossed my arms. That was fine with me. Yet it was good to know that I wasn't the only one who had trouble with the idea of drinking blood. However, I couldn't control my eyes from flickering over to the glass every once in a while. I could smell the blood from here thanks to my enhanced senses, and it was starting to get unbearable. "Tell me, why is it you have so much trouble with blood?" I paused, not sure if I should answer.

"All she's seen is blood throughout most of her life. Her father was murdered when she was 8 years old, right in front of her no less. Ever since then, she's had nightmares, and even though she can't remember them when she wakes up, I know she must have been dreaming about that day. She became a mercenary on top of it. All she's seen is blood. You expect her to have a fondness to it?" Brother spoke before I could and was doing a fine job of protecting me. Unfortunately he was wrong about most everything. I bowed my head in shame, knowing that eventually I would have to tell the truth, and that tonight might be the night.

"That's exactly what is expected." Alucard's voice echoed through the room and I looked up with a solemn glare as he walked through the door. "Drink, Malyutka."

"You won't ever leave me be will you? First you speak to me in death. Then you speak to me while I dream. And now you bother me while I'm awake. It's a bit overbearing, Master..." After that last word I slapped my hand over my mouth. When had that come out? A smirk crossed the vampire's features, and I got my answer without even needing to hear it. He bit me, and like a ghoul, I became a part of him. I would listen to him and obey any order he gave. My words even had Pip staring at me like I was crazy.

"Drink." I reached for the glass, but my hand stopped.

"No."

"Drink."

"No." Alucard made a beeline for me, but he stopped short when my brother stepped in front of him.

"She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to! She already said she has problems with it! She doesn't like it, so leave her be!" I sighed as brother stood in the vampires' way, and shook my head. He looked at me again like I was going crazy. "What is it?"

"Pip, I'm sorry, but everything you know about me is not what it seems..."

"Nikita, what are you talking about?" I hesitated to tell my brother.

"It's best to tell them now, Ms. Bernadotte." I glared over at Sir Integra when those words left her mouth as Matty and Brother looked at me confusedly. I sighed and sat back against the headboard of my bed.

"Forgive me, but I have lied to you, Brother." There was a silence in the room, and I continued, folding my hands in my lap and watching them instead of the faces around me. I didn't have to look at Alucard to know he was smiling from ear to ear. I could tell. He was basking in my sorrow. "Pip will know, that ever since he met me, I have always considered myself a monster, and there is reason and truth behind that. I guess I'll start from where this truth completely originated.

"I was raised in Russia by my father and mother until the age of eight under my mother's name. Because he was a fugitive, my father never revealed his true name. From what I could understand at the time my life was completely normal and I had normal parents, despite one of them being a fugitive of England. But when Pip's grandfather came for my father, I found out he was not as saintly as I had thought. He was a serial killer, and because of that we were chased out of our home. My father and mother were killed, and I in turn took my first life." I turned to my brother. "I'm sorry Pip, but your grandfather lied. It was not my father that killed your great uncle. It was me..."

"But... Why? Why?" Pip was not happy with me at all, and I understood it completely.

"At the time I didn't speak English. I couldn't understand what was going on, and when my parents were killed I held that sword in self defense. Honestly I had never thought I'd kill him. I just wanted to scare him off. But I was too careless, and too flustered to aim correctly."

"No. Why didn't you tell me?!" His hand reached for mine and grasped it so hard his knuckles turned white. But to me, it felt like he was gently holding it.

"Your grandfather thought you wouldn't take kindly to me if you knew. It was amazing enough you accepted me as the daughter of a serial killer." I looked away for a moment. "My father was a monster who loved to relish in blood. I was told everything by your grandfather. My father was born and raised in London where he took after his grandfather and great grandfather in murdering as many as he could for the fun of it. When he was caught red handed, he fled the country to Russia, where he moved into a quiet little village. He found my mother there, and after not even a year they were married. My father stopped his killings for a short while, but picked them up in secret as I aged. Mother eventually found out but loved my father too much to care. Not to mention she was ill, and could not raise me on her own anyway. She was accepting as long as I never knew about who my father really was." I paused. "But here I am, just the same as he. I relish in blood to the point that I see it in different colors. Different colors that show the type of person it belongs to. I am attracted to blood just as much as any vampire, and the reason I do not drink is because I am sure I would not be able to stop, not because the idea is sacrilegious." Again I turned to my brother, watching as he tried to process everything I was saying. "Please forgive me for my lies. These were the reasons for my nightmares. I am sorry." Pip opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted.

"Yet that is not all of the story..." Integra moved further into the room. "You do not yet know your true lineage do you?" I shook my head no. As I had explained, my father never revealed his true identity. "You believed yourself a monster because you took after your father. You had superior strength and senses with a lust for blood. The idea was understandable, but you have no idea where all of this truly originated." Again, I shook my head, agreeing with the female head of house. "I will tell you then, and you will understand just how much of a monster you truly are.

"Long ago, Sir Van Hellsing himself tracked down a monster other than Dracula. His name was Dr. Henry Jekyll. Before Van Hellsing could destroy the monster that Dr. Jekyll turned into - Mr. Edward Hyde - Hyde had committed suicide. But not without first impregnating a young girl on one of his nightly escapades of rape and violence. Having never been able to produce a child before, she took this as a blessing and kept the name of Hyde for the child she would bear. A son was born, that was strong and violent with the name of Elliot Hyde, and he too was chased down. Again, those that killed him were too late. He had procreated as well, his wife having given birth several years before to a William Hyde. William had taken after his father and grandfather, causing a ruckus throughout England before being chased out of the country. We lost track of him after that, and it seems like you have the rest of the story, Ms. Bernadotte. You are a descendant of the famous Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This was the reason for your strength and enhanced senses. And now, you've added the strength of a vampire on top of it. You are indeed a monster."

It was quiet for a while, and everyone in the room tried to take in what Integra had said. I sat in silent shock, all of my past finally making sense. But I was filled with sorrow as well. Even Alucard could not compete with the monstrosity I had become. For how could he ever compete with two lines of monster blood coursing through these veins? It was stressful for my brother especially. I knew that as soon as he stood up and started pacing the room. Finally, he stomped out, his face hidden under his hat as he left. I put my head down, ashamed of keeping everything from him.

"He'll come around, Nikita. He is your brother after all." Matty tried to comfort me and I looked at her in surprise. "Now don't give me that face. Did you think I would hate you for choosing to become a vampire? What makes a monster is a person's morals and actions. You are a hero in my eyes, Nikki. You gave up your own life to save me and this estate. Monsters don't do that. They can only destroy without remorse." I wiped what I knew were bloody tears away from my eyes as she embraced me for a few moments. "Thank you, for all you have done."

"No, thank you, Matty." She smiled at me and I did my best to return it with a sad one of my own.

"Well, Malyutka. You're not even my underling for more than five minutes and already you've refused a direct order." I turned toward the dull king, narrowing my eyes. "You will not disobey me this time. Drink."

"Leave and I shall." I crossed my arms like a child.

"As soon as I leave, you will dump that glass down the sink. Do not try to fool me."

"I shall not drink with company in the room."

"Master, I would advise that you and everyone else leave the room. I have an underling to discipline." Alucard didn't turn to look at Integra, but kept his eyes on me while merely inclining his head in a menacing way. I swallowed, and a shiver ran down my spine. Sir Hellsing shuffled everyone outside the room, and I looked down to my hands in my lap. "Now. Everyone has left. You. Will. Drink." I sighed, and with shaking hands, I took the glass of blood into my hands. The smell was driving my senses wild and I resisted the urge to gulp the glass down. All I could do was stare, and I felt myself getting lost in the dull red that rippled from the tremors in my hand. "Drink."

"I cannot!" Before I knew what I was saying, it left my lips. "I am already a monster! Do not make me sully my name even further!"

"Then you should have allowed your soul to move on! You should have died! Yet you chose to "live"! It is too late for you little girl! You have made your choice! Now drink!" Alucard was barely inches from me now, hovering over me like the demon that he was.

"I can't." Slowly, he backed away, a scowl on his face.

"If you will not drink, then I shall make it difficult for you to resist the urge." Before I knew what was going on, he took a knife from my bedside stand and pulled his sleeve back. He sliced down his wrist and held it in front of my eyes. All I could do was watch as the blackest of all blood dripped from his arm and into the glass I held. My breath hitched. The smell was more intoxicating than anything I had ever smelled before, and it was invading my senses. I looked to the glass in my hand, which was slowly turning a very dark brown from the two colors mixing together. I could hardly breathe, and it was uncomfortable, even if I knew I would never have to take another breath in my life.

"What have you done?" I whispered the words, but I knew he could hear me. He laughed as the wound healed and he rolled his sleeve back down.

"I have made this drink irresistable. You should see your eyes, Malyutka. They are so bright a crimson they could rival my own! Now drink!"

"I shall not!"

"Then I shall force you!" The vampire grabbed the glass and my jaw, which he forced open. The next thing I knew something terrifyingly sweet was being poured into my mouth and was sliding down my throat. My eyes widened as something else took over and I drank without question, draining the glass down to the very last drop and using my tongue to find the leftovers when I was finished. It was only after the glass was clean did I come back to my senses. All I could do was stare – stare at the hands that held the glass and then watch as those white gloves moved the glass to the side table. I could feel the tears pricking my eyes again and could hear Alucard laughing loudly. I looked up, but he was no longer there. "Just remember, you chose this, Malyutka! There is no going back!" His voice still echoed around my room, and finally, I let the tears fall. An infuriated roar of rage ripped from my throat, and my nails dug into my palms so hard I bled. In surprise I looked down. Black dripped from my hands. A pure black that wasn't quite as dark as my master's, but darker than any other black I had seen. I had made a grave mistake.

-o-

A series of gun shots filled the training grounds as I walked through the make-shift course. My breathing was ragged and heavy, but not from exertion. No. I had found that there was no such thing as exertion after the transformation. Everything was smooth and easy. And that was what scared me. My breathing was that of a woman who was terrified. Terrified of her own new abilities. I was trembling and drenched in a cold sweat, yet it didn't affect my shots in the slightest bit. There was no recoil in my shots and that was a horrifying knowledge. It was one thing for a human to handle a 50 calibre revolver without breaking a wrist, but this was unbelievable. There was nothing to shooting this gun anymore! For once in my life, I was truly terrified of myself. I had literally become what I always told myself I was – a monster.

"L-lieutenant Bernadotte?" I spun around, pistol immediately aimed at the heart of the man who had called me. He went rigid and a look of terror flashed over his face. In surprise, I quickly holstered the pistol. This man – Timothy, was at the bottom of the ranks, and rarely ever spoke to me. Still only 21 years old, he was the only survivor of a pirate raid on his family ship just off the coast of England. Pip had found him scrounging for scrap on the streets when he took him in. The boy had gone from being rich to being homeless in a matter of moments as the government had taken the estate.

"Forgive me, you startled me." I apologized, bowing my head.

"It's quite alright, Lieutenant Bernadotte. I should have called you from a farther distance-"

"Hyde," I interrupted him. A confused look changed his young features.

"Pardon?"

"My true name is Hyde, not Bernadotte." The boy seemed completely startled but nodded his head.

"Forgive me, Lieutenant Hyde."

"You are forgiven. Now, what is it you need, Timothy?" He shuffled his feet timidly for a moment then, looking at the ground.

"Well, a couple of the lower ranking men and myself were wondering if you would possibly teach us close combat. The other men said we don't need it and won't teach us, but something's stirring in the air. We can feel the chill run down our necks, ma'am. We just want to be able to defend ourselves if we ever run out of ammunition and only have our knives." More shuffling of his feet before looking up to me hopefully. I smiled and nodded. "Oh thank you, Lieutenant Berna- I mean Lieutenant Hyde!" He saluted me and ran off to find the other soldiers. It wasn't long before they were all gathered around me, standing straight at attention. I looked on at the pitiful inexperienced men, knowing that they never should have been here.

"Alright, you want me to teach you close combat, but there are a few things we have to clear up." I had barely even spoken, and yet these boys were already quaking in their boots. Still, I continued. "First, you are up against a totally new enemy. They aren't going to be like our previous opponents. These are vampires, and they are faster, stronger, and probably ex-military men who wanted eternal life. What you experienced just the other night was an army of ghouls. They are slow and not much to take down compared to a vampire." I paused for them to soak the information in. These inexperienced and naïve men didn't stand a chance, but for their sakes, I wouldn't tell them that. "However, they have one fatal flaw. They don't use guerrilla warfare tactics like we do. They're expecting a guard, not a bunch of mercenaries. We have the element of surprise on our hands. We need to fight dirty! In close combat you pull cheap punches. There is no such thing as mercy and fairness in this war. You give them a chance and they'll kill you. Fling dirt in their eyes, throw grenades, be bold and instead of running from them, rush them! They will more than likely try to attack with their hands before using guns or weapons because they believe themselves superior. Thus, we must be ready for them. Now, anyone who wishes to quit, the gate is over there. Have fun in death, because if you can't defend yourself, you're going to die." Not one person moved, but I could see the fear in their eyes. I could smell it radiating from their bodies. It was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. With a nod, I motioned for Albert, one of the more experienced of the lower ranks to come forward.

"You all know the basics of close combat. Simple punches and kicks can go a long way against a mere human, but these are vampires we're dealing with." I never liked to flaunt my power. It made me seem "higher" than the others in my opinion, so I rarely talked about my abilities as one of the living, and I certainly didn't want to think about my abilities as a vampire. But now, a display of power was needed. These men needed to know what they were up against. I walked up to Albert. He was almost twice my size at the age of 25 and for any person would be difficult to pick up. Yet when I grabbed his shirt and hoisted him above my head, he weighed nothing to me. Nothing at all. "Vampires are stronger than any human being," I stated, setting the now startled man back on the ground. Then, I took two steps before going into an all out sprint to get behind the group standing in front of me. To them it probably looked like I had disappeared, and to me, everything seemed to go in slow motion around me as I ran. "They're faster than any human being." The group seemed completely surprised when I appeared behind them and they all turned around in astonishment. I walked between them and they cleared a path for me. "A vampire's senses are also heightened more than a human's. Essentially, everything you can do, a vamipre can do at least 20 times better, which is why we need to make ourselves 40 times better at what we do."

"But, Lieutenant Hyde... It's easier for you to say because you're a vampire now... We're only human. How could we possibly stand a chance?" Timothy spoke up behind me, stating what everyone was already asking themselves.

"Human?" I turned on my heel to face them. "You think yourselves human? No. We're not human. None of us are. Could a human do what we do on a daily basis? Never. We! We are dogs! War dogs! We let go of our humanity long ago to fight for just a little bit of money! We are stronger than humans, and that is why we shall prevail!" Something sparked in their eyes as I spurred them on, and they all let out a cry that echoed loudly through the grounds. A true smile tugged on my lips at the sound, and the unease that had graced the group's aura disappeared. "Now... Who's ready for a few lessons on how to fight dirty?" They gave another cheer and I pulled Albert forward again. He got into a fighting position and I mirrored him. "Get your knife ready, Albert." It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order.

"But... Lieutenant..." He stuttered, trying to find the right words.

"I will not die from a knife wound, soldier. You have to stab my heart or behead me to kill me. Are you planning to do either?"

"Well, no."

"Good. Pull out your knife." He obeyed. "The stabbing and beheading comes later on a practice target, which certainly won't be me. Now, I want you to rush me." The man hesitated, but finally rushed me. He didn't get very close before I picked him up by his shirt and threw him as gently as I could to the ground. Before he could blink I was straddling his chest and pinning him with one hand. "Lesson number one – don't hesitate. Remember, these men are faster than you. Any hesitation will get you killed." Albert's eyes were wide as he looked up at me, and he seemed helpless. "Well, try to get me off!" As quickly as he could, he struggled to push my hand away, not using the knife at all, and really just pushing as hard as he could. I sat there, barely exerting any effort. "Lesson number two – don't be afraid to use your weapons or anything else to your advantage. I picked up his knife as I stood, and grabbed some dirt from the ground. The man was about to get up, but I threw the knife and it embedded itself into the grass next to his head, distracting him, and then I threw the dirt I had in his eyes. He hissed and started to rub the dirt away. "Fight dirty. These men were once humans as well. Though vampires don't need to breathe, can't be killed by "simple" wounds, and can see just as well as any human even with dirt in their eyes, they still have human traits. They still feel pain when stabbed and will flinch. They will still try to rub the dirt out of their eyes when it is thrown there. And they will still try to breathe even though it is not needed. These things, and others will distract them and may just save your life. Use them to your advantage. If it affects you, more than likely it will affect them." I gave Albert a hand in standing up. "I'll give you another chance and then I'll take the next person."

-o-

Things moved very quickly that night and for the next couple of nights. For the soldiers anyway. For me, everything seemed to take longer than it should have, but I was happy with how the men were progressing. They hardly hesitated anymore, and were coming up with very creative ways to distract me and to get me to pull back for a few seconds. At the same time, I was learning myself not to flinch so much. If a knife sliced me somewhere, I was able to just let it go and fight through it. However, the more wounds I got, the slower they healed, and I had to be extra careful. It was interesting none-the-less, and when the men were tired out and breathing hard, I told them to retire to their beds for the night.

I looked down at my wounds and sighed. They were still healing at a visible rate, but not as quickly as they had been before, and I knew it was because I had refused the blood packets these past two days. I took off my uniform jacket so that I was just in my shorts and black tank-top and proceeded to wipe the blood off with the jacket. I would wash it later.

"The men are starting to learn a thing or two and yet they'll all die in the end..." I paused, not as startled as I would have imagined. Somehow I just knew he would be there if I turned around. I finished wiping myself down, and threw the jacket over my shoulder.

"My men are very capable, and I will see them through this fight. They have been proving themselves continuously. Now, if you're done destroying whatever hope I have for them, will you please leave?" When I turned around to face him, he was right in front of me. He grabbed my chin and tilted it back so that my eyes could meet his.

"Still playing on the offensive with me? You would think by now you would have learned that is not such a smart idea. Before you could get away with it because you were a dog of war, but I am your master now, and you will obey my orders. Is that understood?" He smiled when I gritted my teeth and sighed deeply.

"Yes, Master." He let go of me and I jerked my head away.

"Good. Now clean up and meet me in my room in 30 minutes." When I looked up again, he was gone. Another sigh left my lips as I made my way back to my room. I turned the hot water on in the shower and undressed. It was only as I was about to step in did I actually stop to think. Was Alucard just playing a trick on me? Could I really shower without bursting into flames or something like that? Just to test it, I placed my finger under the water, and was relieved to find that I was perfectly okay. It seemed that I couldn't cross bodies of water or running water, but showers were okay. Kind of like rain. I finished up quickly and dried myself off, finding that I didn't like showers as much as I used to anymore. Probably because water could be a bit of a threat as a vampire. I was about to leave when someone knocked on my door. Upon opening it, I found Pip standing there.

"Nikita... Can we... Talk?" He seemed sad, and kept his head low when I allowed him into the room. I didn't shut the door for his own comfort, especially since we hadn't spoken in days. He took a seat on my bed, and I leaned against my dresser quietly, giving him time to collect himself. "Nik... I've been talking with Seras a little bit, and I've come to realize something... I remember something that my grandfather once told me... He said that your father had been killed because he had done bad deeds. That he found you with your mother and that she too was dying. He told me that your father had deserved the punishment he had received, and that for a moment he didn't want to take you in because of your lineage. Yet he did, because it was not you who had done those evil deeds, it was your father. He would not damn you because of something that was not your doing. He said that even though you were not truly family, he loved you like a daughter..." Brother paused for a moment, then stood and walked over to me. I stiffened for a moment, but relaxed immediately when he pulled me into a hug. "You are still family. No matter what you become. Vampire or not. Descendant of a monster or not, you are still my sister. Still a Bernadotte. And I will never abandon you." He pulled back to grip my shoulders. "Forgive me for my ignorance. I should have realized this earlier." I wiped a few tears from my eyes and pulled him into a desperate hug. He gasped for a moment like he couldn't breathe, but then rested a hand on my head.

"I forgive you, Brother." I pulled away and smiled. "But really, I can't run from my past anymore. I'm just as much a Hyde as I am a Bernadotte. So please, call me by my real name from now on? We all know I'm a Bernadotte at heart."

"Your half hour is up, Malyutka."

"Five minutes, Master. I will be there."

"Forgive me, Brother, but I am being summoned. Please, get some sleep?" I kissed his forehead and left the room, immediately regretting the kiss. My throat clenched up and my mouth went dry. I could still hear my brother's heart beat from down the hall and I tried to swallow to no avail. My instincts screamed for me to turn around and sink my teeth into his neck. To drink from the fountain that would surely errupt. But he was my brother, and there was no way I would ever do such a thing to him. Never in my undead life would I touch him with my new fangs. It was a promise I made then and there.

"You're late. Are you disobeying me again?" Alucard sat with his fingers locked together in his "room". I stood still in front of him, arms by my side, keeping my head low.

"Family comes first. You may be my master, but I have other callings as well." The elder vampire merely inclined his head as if he did not quite understand but found the excuse reasonable enough.

"Take a seat and have some blood with me, Malyutka." He motioned with his hand to a chair next to the table on his left. Hesitantly, I sat down and picked up one of the blood packets that was sitting on the table. When the man nodded, I poked a small hole into the plastic and sucked some of the blood through. It slid smoothly down my throat and I couldn't help the shiver of delight that shook my spine. I could feel my control wavering, and to ease it, I tried talking to distract myself.

"Where is Seras?"

"Use your senses. As a vampire you have a third eye. Tap into it and find Seras on your own." I sighed. He couldn't just tell me? Concentrating, I closed my eyes and searched. It wasn't easy at first. I kept finding my brother and where he was. In the end, all that did was make me thirstier. So I took a quick sip from the packet I was holding and concentrated harder and focused on Seras' particular aura. When I found her, she was in the dining hall, and there was a scent of human food wafting about her. I could pick out what was setting in the room just by the smell of it. It was all I could figure out before I felt exhausted however, and I had to stop.

"So she's in the dining hall surrounded by food. Why is she not here?" I tried to sip slowly at the blood packet, but I found that I had drained it completely at the end of ten minutes. Alucard had barely even touched his first one. I didn't reach for another one until he nodded again and this time I focused completely on trying not to drain the packet.

"She will not join us. The girl hasn't touched a blood packet or even drank a spot of blood since she's been turned. She refuses." I looked down at the blood packet in my hand. I could barely go an hour without wanting blood since I awoke as a vampire. Granted I didn't need one every hour, I just craved one every hour. Only after about five hours did I start to get a little jumpy around my human comrades. How I wished I could go forever without having to drink the source of my sorrow. I was envious of the police girl. "You should not be envious of her, Malyutka. Not drinking blood causes her to be weak. The only reason she is stronger than the typical vampire is because I am the one that bit her. You are stronger than her now because you will drink blood willingly. Did you want to be a weak vampire?" Alucard's words caught me slightly off guard.

"I did not want to be a vampire at all. Yet as I was dying... I was willing to do anything... Anything to protect my family and see them through the rest of their lives."

"You are concerned about more than just that. I do not have to read your thoughts to see that." It's not like he didn't read them anyway. I sighed, squeezing the blood packet a little and almost spilling some of it down the side.

"There are many things that plague my mind. Timothy has taken a liking to me and will not leave my side unless I ask him to. He even asked me to drink his blood if he dies, knowing that it would turn him into a vampire. Brother is getting closer to Seras in a way that I'm not comfortable with, specifically because Seras is half my brother's age. Yet I cannot stop him from falling in love with that girl, because that's exactly what is happening. The Nazis are on their way, I can feel it. And most importantly..." My throat went dry again as I stared intently at the blood packet.

"Your blood lust bother's you." Alucard stated the obvious. "Before I was captured by Van Hellsing, I would drink all the blood I wanted to. I could destroy a whole town without a thought and drain everyone's blood. It is what you and I live off of. We may not be so liberal now, but if we were you would have the ability to do the same."

"I would not want to."

"You would defy your nature?"

"I was once a human. Well, as human as a monster could be. I have morals. I still do. I suppose you would not understand. You have never been human."

"You are wrong." I paused. I didn't even breathe, even though I found it uncomfortable. "I was once a human as well. It was a long... Very long time ago." Alucard's voice went soft, as if he were remembering something. As if he were weak and racked with pain at that time.

"Then you have forgotten how to be human." I couldn't stop the words from leaving my mouth.

"Perhaps... But then I find myself wondering why I took pity on you. Why I took pity on Seras even. Why I would turn you both simply because you wanted to live. I have seen many die before me. Many have died by my hands. And yet I feel that letting you both die without a choice was wrong when I wouldn't have spared a passing glance at any other person. It would seem I am becoming soft." We were quiet for a long while after that, the both of us taking our time with the blood packets. Finally, I broke that silence.

"Why do you call me Malyutka?"

"Because you are young and naïve. You are but a mouse compared to me, the agile cat. Your very existence is nothing but a spec of dust compared to mine. I am myth and legend. You are only a woman. And yet you are tolerable. You are exactly what I call you. A little one." I scowled at his statement.

"One day, I will show you that I am not so little."

He laughed.

"Oh I look forward to that day. But for now, we feast. There's a battle coming up, Malyutka. There is no denying it!" He drained his blood packet and reached for another. For the first time, he actually made me smile. Perhaps he was getting soft, but that could only seem like a good thing to me. Maybe I could start to get along with him so long as he kept this attitude. I drained my own blood packet and joined him in a feast that lasted well into the night.

Kitten: So yeah, some editing done here. I only just realized I've been spelling Lieutenant wrong this whole time and I have no motivation to go back and fix every single one of them. Don't expect those changes. I'll be editing things a little more quickly now, but I do have a Tokyo Ghoul story to attend to as well so I'll probably be dividing the work between this story and that one. If you're still with me after all this time I sincerely thank you!