Homesick Ludwig complains about baguette being a very poor and limp excuse for a bread, Francis isn't much amused.
Francis let out a satisfied sigh. "There's nothing better than fresh, warm, long baguette," he said, tearing off a bit off the bread and then offered some to Ludwig as well, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "Want a bite of my French stick?"
Ludwig only huffed. "No, thanks, I'm full anyway," he said.
"Are you telling me you don't like my bread?"
"Are you telling me, you call this bread?" Ludwig indicated at the baguette.
"I call it great many things," Francis purred. "But if you don't want it, maybe you would like tasting another French stick?" The following wriggle of eyebrows made Ludwig groan.
"If that's as limp at your" Snort. "bread, no thanks," Ludwig replied.
Francis threw his hands up. "What is it with you and bread today?" he sighed. "Baguette is perfectly fine. Or do you want me to get you toast?"
Ludwig rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with your baguette," he said. "I'm just sick of it and sick of the fact that you don't seem to have any proper bread here. And no, toast is no real bread either."
"So," Francis huffed. "And would you deign to tell me what real bread is like?"
"Not these," he said, vaguely. "I don't know, do you even have any without wheat?"
Francis shrugged. "What should they made of if not wheat?"
"Rye, barley, spelt, just about anything," Ludwig said.
Francis wrinkled his nose. "That can't taste well," he decided.
Ludwig shrugged. "And you never put anything in it," he went on, ignoring Francis interjection. "Have you ever tried bread with pumpkin seeds or sunflower seeds or dried onions and so on in it?" He almost moaned at the thought.
Francis shook his head and patted the younger man's shoulder. "Come on, now you sound like you want to jerk off to it," he joked to hide his uneasiness.
Ludwig put his thumb on the crust of the baguette, pressing it down and then, after releasing the pressure watching it slowly unfolding back in form. "It was you who started the sexual reference thing," he sighed, continuing to play with the baguette. "Bread isn't supposed to do this either," he murmured.
"Bread is only good if it can jump back into its original form after pressing it down," Francis stated, very sure about this.
Ludwig shook his head. "Bread is supposed to have a hard crust and a soft … heart," he said, adding a sigh. "I'm sorry, Francis, dear, I think I'm just a bit homesick." He leaned against Francis and closed his eyes. "It's not that I don't enjoy being with you, but... there are a few things I miss sometimes. And bread is very high up on the list."
Francis hugged him close. "It's alright, mon cher, I get it," he chuckled. "Can I do something, anything to get your mind off it?" He started rubbing circles on Ludwig's thighs.
Ludwig leaned in close on his boyfriend, nuzzling at his neck and humming approvingly. "Only if you promise me on thing," he said between two soft kisses placed on Francis' neck.
"Anything, as I said," Francis purred back.
"Promise me your French stick isn't as limp as your baguette," Ludwig said, unable to contain his chuckles.
I wrote this just as an outlet for my own feelings. I didn't have actual French bread in mind when I wrote this, more the French bakeries you get in China. Yes, Paris Baguette and the likes, I'm looking at you.