A Game Of You
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Pairing: James/Logan
Rating: M
A/N: Instead of apologizing on how late this chapter is I only have two words for you: DOMINANT LOGAN! Enjoy and review. (Don't get used on how long this chapter is, it was murder to write! THANKS NEWBIE!)
"Stop fidgeting James! I need you to be still!"
"But it's cold!"
"You asked for it!"
"But it tickles and you suck at it!"
"Kali take me now!" Shiva finally snapped, took a wet tissue and wiped the henna paint off the back of his hand grumbling under her breath.
It was the midday, and James after having yet another fight with his mother about the slump that was currently his life, had ran over to her apartment requesting asylum until Brooke's fiery rage could be quenched, how long that would take ranged from an hour to the rest of James' remaining life.
They were having ginseng tea when his eyes caught glimpse of some oil paint vials, he asked her pretending indifference what kind of paint it was, because it had been more than a year since he dropped out of his art school, and she said it was for Hindu henna tattoos, his artistic curiosity woke up and he challenged her to draw a flower on him and let him be the judge of her skills, that was twenty minutes ago now she was grinding her teeth and fighting the urge not to plunge his eye out with the brush.
"Seriously James, if you can't handle this how in the nine realms of Asgard are you going to handle the rectal examination in the hands of the amazing Doctor Suck-a-Lot?" She said with an evil grin and James wondered how did she manage to get him drunk enough to let that slip out the other night.
"That's the last time I play a tequila shot game with you when we're on the clock! Also don't call him nicknames!"
"Jealous much or is it just nerves for your upcoming physical?"
"I'm not jealous and there's nothing to be nervous about!" He took the piece of loin cloth that Shiva had spread on the table and grabbed a clean brush avoiding looking in her scrutinizing green eyes, he started to stroke around rambling under his breath and she slouched over to her laptop with a half amused smile and soon the room was filled with music or at least what Shiva called music.
"Oi?! God! Is that guy skinning a cat or something?!"
"It's a fiendish death metal band and the singer's a girl, back to our topic, did he text you your appointment yet?"
"No, because it's not happening! He has to pull some big strings to get the examination room booked and make it so that he is the one to do the procedure, he's still an intern and besides he doesn't have the guts for it, he'll back down." His strokes were chaotic and swift, and there was more than enough distance between them now, she couldn't make out from her seat if he was actually painting something or just making a mess.
"Didn't you tell me from day one that he isn't what he seems?"
"He's not but he's not crazy enough to put his job on the line for a perverted fantasy, trust me any day now he's going to call all embarrassed and tell me it's not happening."
"And if he makes it possible are you planning on going?"
"Pft, are you kidding me? Back when I was a kid Brooke had to pay a big fat bonus to the chauffer to drag me out of the car and hold me down so they could give me my shots! I hate hospitals and doctors with a vengeance, I'm not setting one foot in Logie's little sick world…" She got up and picked his cup and caught a glimpse of his work, her breath was cut on the sight but he missed it battling against the storm that was Logan Mitchell and the awoken artistic instincts that were clearly invoked by the burning passion he had for the man.
"I think, and the tea leaves in your cup agree with me that Logan, the one doctor you DO NOT HATE, will move heaven and earth to make it happen and you'll go for it with a happy smile plastered on your face!"
"If your oracular skills are as good as your drawing ones I have nothing to worry about! By the way, THIS is an actual flower, not that smudge you tried to mark on me earlier!" He took the finished piece of art and smugly displayed it on the coffee table, she gaped and blinked and she looked at him shocked because it took him less than ten minutes to use every single vial of oil paint to fill the blank white cloth with a blazing red tiger lily caught in blue flames.
"James…that's…how…" When they first met it was too late, he had already abandoned his school and had thrown out or stored away most of his work and no matter how much she pressured him she had never managed to make him show her a single scribble let alone a painting, now though he desperately needed an outlet feeling choked and asphyxiated, a way to ran away, which was really an irony because supposedly that was what this thing with Logan was meant to be originally.
"It's nothing I just made the outer body, it still needs to be filled in, maybe you could glue some beads around it once it dries, I don't know…"
"James your mom told me you were good but…"
"I'm not an artist…it's just a half done flower…"
"James I have been a fan of stuff like this all my life! Don't shrug it off like it's nothing, its beautiful!"
"Artists have something I don't Martha, dedication and patience! According to my teachers I don't have either of those qualities and if I can't be the best why should I bother!"
"Because even a blind cyclops can see that you have talent!"
"Drop it! ENOUGH! It's just an ugly good for nothing flower and you are making a big deal out of this, same as the Logan thing! I'm not an artist and I am not in LOVE WITH HIM! I DON'T YEARN FOR HIM! I JUST WANT TO FUCK HIM!" She was ready to call him names and kick him out for his juvenile tantrum when his cell phone buzzed and it cut her midsentence, he picked it up and read the text and then he proceeded to smile biting his lip nervously.
"Son of a bitch…"
"Is that who I think it is?"
"He pulled it off…he's giving me a prostate examination the day after tomorrow…"
"Are you going?" The pressure James felt coming out of her stare was such that he felt that he was hit repeatedly by tidal waves.
"Maybe…he probably went through a lot of trouble to book it for me…I could humor him…I'm sure if he sees me there he'll get cold feet." He tried to sound sure but the trembling in his voice was indisputable proof that he was deathly scared of being submitted to Logan's probing because he now knew all too well that underneath the facade of the emotional, timid dork slept a predator that could swallow him whole.
"James?"
"Yeah…" He was gazing at his cell phone and refused to look her in the eyes, partly because he struggled with what his answer to Logan was going to be, partly because he was too ashamed for his immature outburst.
"You should give him something as a reward prize for his trouble! HERE! HAVE A FLOWER!" She grabbed the still wet cloth and threw it on his face covering him with paint, ruining the lily in the process, when it slid on the floor his eyes were misty and his expression was sad and childlike.
"Sowwy Marty…"
"Save the puppy eyes for your doctor's appointment Diamond! Maybe he'll show some mercy on you which I doubt! I on the other hand have run out!"
"I STILL HAVEN'T DECIDED IF I'M GOING!"
"Oh grow a pair, you're going! Keep the delusions for yourself, I can see right through you with my third eye!"
"Fine, I'll go, but you're the one who actually needs a doctor of the psychiatric variety…"
"May I remind you I just have my thesis to submit and then I'll be certifiable psychoanalyst?"
"And if that isn't sound proof that the world is a scary place I don't know what is? Oh, what the Hell might as well enjoy it, besides I can play hard ball when I get there, make him sweat for it…" He started forming his own set of plans on how to drive his pervert even more insane and he finally answered him with a simple text.
"Game on." Martha saw the sick glee in the hazel eyes and sighed with frustration.
"That's no way to treat your soul mate…"
"What?"
"I didn't say anything, more tea?" She trailed off thinking that one of these days she had to finally risk a serious fight with James about the Logan subject before it was too late for the both of them.
"You're giving him a what now?!" Peter screamed his lungs out and Logan took the opportunity to snatch the ball from his hands and make a quick dash across the basket ball court, he made a jump and slammed the ball into the ring.
"AND SWIIISS! WHO'S THE BOSS! THE DOCTOR'S IN THE HOUSE!" He made dancing victory circles around Peter whose sour face screamed that he was far from being amused.
"That one doesn't count…"
"Let's go to the referee!" He turned to the almost empty steps pointing a finger to the only occupant, Harry, but the oldest of the three was too busy trying to make his baby son take the milk bottle in his mouth and didn't even raise his head.
"The referee says foul, and I'll pretend I didn't hear what you said in front of Harry Junior kid."
"Dude stop calling him Junior, Doreen said you're naming him Colleen." Peter reminded him that his wife wore the pants in the marriage and Harry lifted an eyebrow.
"I take it back, Ghetto Boy 29 Doctor Whore 34."
"Want to grab a coke or something Ghetto Boy?" Logan asked as he twirled the ball in his index, and Peter shrugged his shoulders and nodded.
"What the heck, the fat man's biased, can't win this match, do you want anything Dalini?"
"Do we want anything Junior, do we, do we?" Neither waited for Harry to decide and slouched away leaving the happy father lost in la-la land while they made their way to the closest vending machine.
"Okay seriously, how did you pull it off? I know you're like the hospital's golden boy but c'mon how did you get an examination room and permission to do it unsupervised and everything else lined up?"
"I asked." Logan admitted with a weird face as he put small change in the money slit.
"You asked if you could bring your boy toy over for a quickie?"
"No, I asked if I could bring my very, very shy, scared cousin who's long overdue for a prostate exam to the hospital and everything else sort of fell into place."
"Oh! You lied…Nice! Also you have issues."
"Okay first of all it wasn't easy, it took me two days to pluck the courage and go to the chief and second of all it's not like I'm proud about it, and you can't believe how nervous I am, scared shitless…that's why I asked if we could shoot some hoops today…do something normal and James unrelated…"
"Hey, you're talking to me Logs not Harry, you're lighted up like a Christmas tree and I think it's kind of cool James does this to you, makes you go out of your limb."
"Yeah, I feel like I could do anything to keep this up, please him because I know he'll do the same thing for me. Hell, he's done it already, he drives me insane just by calling me a nickname, and he calls me a lot of nicknames."
"You can say it Logan the guy makes you happy."
""Yeah but I'm not worth it…"
"Logs!"
"Oh, c'mon Pete! Yesterday the moment James texted me back you know what I did? I called Jack! I wanted to see how he's holding, see if he was still in town! And if he would've picked the damn phone for once I'd have told him I was sorry. Even now I'm thinking of jumping on the first train and go catch up with him, I called his dad to give my condolences, he didn't talk to me more than five minutes of course, he hates me as much as he hates his own son, but apparently Jean's funeral is tomorrow and I know what the right thing do is, for Jack at least…"
"But what message would that send to James?"
"I don't know…I'd like to think he'd understand, I mean we're physical, it's still physical…"
"Not so sure are you now?"
"No…" Logan admitted in a low whisper, head down, because James tried for him, because James shared his fear of being alone, because James made him laugh and lose control, but at the same time he didn't know his favorite movie, what sort of music did he like, he didn't even know how old he was, and worst of all James had warned him that he didn't want anything more, that he wasn't ready to try anything serious, not with Logan and not with anyone for that matter. He had issues of his own and Logan wished he knew what they were, help him deal with them, hold his hand properly for once and not grab each other forcefully and leave bruises on each other's wrists.
"Look Junior uncle Logie is having another meltdown!" Harry walked in the conversation, baby asleep and strapped on his chest and as Logan stared at him waiting for a lecture he took a soda from the vending machine and let out a long sigh.
"It's not funny Dallini Logan is…"
"Twenty six Sutner, this baby, this adult! Well supposedly anyways, I warned you Logan, you've kept this going on for too long and now you're buried neck deep, you keep on hiding, avoiding facing your real issues with Jack. But one day Logan you'll run out of places to hide and then let's see if your bartender will be there for you."
"It's not easy Harry! I care for them! I care for them both!"
"Really Logan do you? Did you mean what you said earlier about going to the funeral?"
"Yes Harry of course I meant it. I've changed, I haven't mutated into a heartless monster."
"His bus leaves in a few hours."
"WHAT?!" Peter glared daggers, but Harry ignored him, he just stared at Logan's confused face.
"I called him to pass my condolences, he was packing, he told me he's taking the late bus to Chicago not the train, by the way I also passed him your condolences Sutner, because it's the NICE THING TO DO."
"I was going to call…"
"Why didn't he pick his phone up…?"
"He told me that you've called five times, he said he didn't want to pressure you about it, that he feels bad about sneaking up on you in the hospital, he wants to see if he can do this alone, man up for you." And with each word Logan felt smaller and smaller, with each word James' form that had taken residency in his mind and body became more distant, more hazy.
"Logan don't, you're on a break, he can do this, no, he needs to do this have some faith in him." Peter put one hand on his shoulder seeing that Logan was about to fall apart.
"I'm thinking…"
"He doesn't have to do this alone kid, I know you're hurt and I know this bartender of yours means something to you but you're one of the good ones Logan, you can do the right thing, the sensible thing, you can at least go and send him off."
"Just let me think damn it!" And the baby, previously lost in dreamland stirred and woke and gave out a pitch cry making Logan's mind brake into a thousand pieces, an image popped out of nowhere, James holding a baby, their baby, but James didn't want any sort of commitment that much Logan knew. He mentally replaced him with Jack and even though that didn't feel right either at least it made sense.
"I have to go, you're right Harry I can at least see him off, let him know I still care…" He let the basket ball tumble from his hands and roll in the pavement and he walked away head down still lost in thought avoiding Peter's judging eyes, he didn't have to do it for long, when he was out of hearing distance Peter turned to Harry and met his happy fatherly grin with a furious burning look that screamed murder.
"Just to be clear the only reason I'm not punching you is that you're holding my future godson!"
"He's doing the right thing."
"Yeah but he's not running…"
"What?"
"James makes him run for him and for crying out loud will he stop! He's worse than our ambulance siren."
"Baby's cry when…OH SHIT I DON'T HAVE A DIAPER!"
"Justice!" Peter picked up his ball and left Harry to drown in karma.
Logan went straight to his apartment, he took a quick shower and changed clothes, he didn't make a suitcase and he didn't cancel his appointment with James, mostly because he didn't have the courage, partly because he didn't want to. He didn't want to back down from him either; he focused on taking one step at a time and just make it to the bus central.
As he made his way to the station he had another random thought, the most selfish thought he had in his entire life, and he articulated it in low whisper only for him to hear.
"Why can't I have both…?" Why couldn't James change his mind and give them a shot to know each other, why didn't Jack make him feel weak on the knees and leave him breathless with a simple smile, maybe somewhere out there was a third man, a man that had everything Logan wanted, or maybe one of them could change for him with time, but Logan was no fool, he was a man of science, he didn't believe in fairy tales and he didn't believe in happy endings either, not for his story at least.
He walked in the building and looked up at the time schedule on the wall and then at his watch making sure he made it in time, he wasn't happy about it though, this felt more like a duty to him or a punishment for toying with people, it didn't feel like the right thing at all.
He searched around for a trace of Jack among the crowd of men and luggage expecting to find him tired broken and looking lost, when he finally spotted him sitting on a bench waiting for the clock hands to tick away Logan walked towards him, he even had a warm smile on his lips because he did love the man, but before he reached him reality came crushing down.
"Drew…" Logan mumbled in disbelief when he saw the girl and he froze solid still.
She came almost out of nowhere, two cups of coffee in her hands and she passed one to Jack who had a big happy thankful smile on his lips, she sat beside him and as Logan saw them talk and laugh he fitted the chaotic puzzle pieces together.
They met in their building Jack offered to get her a rare book, just like two years ago when he met Logan, an excuse really to get his number, was this a thing for him to get in peoples pants? Logan was never there and Jack was tired of sleeping alone, his family hated the fact that he was gay, he left a damn post-it and vanished, probably staying at a friend's or a co-worker's, and every time she talked to Logan before she moved out of her apartment so suddenly and with no obvious reason, she was a ball of nerves. There was something going on between them their body language was more than enough proof, the question was when did it start and how far did it go.
"Fuck…" Logan mumbled and a single tear ran down his cheek, he could easily cross the few meters of distance between them and confront them about everything, maybe they were just friends and he was imagining things for his own benefit and his burning thirst for James, but he didn't have the strength or the courage to make sure.
He turned around the opposite direction and paced hurriedly the other way, turning his gaze towards them only once to make sure they didn't see him in the crowd, when he got out and away from the station his breathing was patted and he took his phone out with a trembling hand.
"Don't be late tomorrow Jamezie, don't you dare be late tomorrow or I'll hurt you even more…" When Peter called him later that night to see how things went Logan answered him with curse words warning him to stay away from his damn life and then he slammed the phone and returned to bed where he buried his face on the pillows and resumed his desperate cries for forgiveness to James until he was out of tears and he lost consciousness waiting for the dawn of the day, waiting to claim James as his and let all the anger out.
The next day found James making final adjustments in front of his mirror; he fixed the deep blue silk tie around his neck completing his formal ensemble and spent quite a few minutes marveling himself.
"Perfect." And he was, originally he planned on wearing the replica of his old school uniform but he decided against it, it would be a little over the top and besides he wanted to keep one more ace up his sleeve, so he wore one of his most expensive suits, and a pair of glasses to drive Logan more insane, little did he know he was too late for that.
He was already boiling with excitement, and was ready to depart but Brooke had her office door open to keep an eye on him and when she saw him whistling counting the money on his wallet for a cub she sneered.
"Just one second young man where are you going dressed up like that? If by some miracle you're heading to the town office I have some papers for you to deliver."
"Brooke, when did I ever go to Diamond Tower willingly in my life?" He scoffed but knew all too well that she was just striking conversation or shooting her first volley of fire was a more accurate term.
"In my dreams, I also see you stopped calling me mom altogether, let me tell you now I do not approve."
"Yeah, yeah sure can we take a rain check on World War XIII, I need to be somewhere."
"Are you going to tell me where?"
"Did Hell freeze, damn I should check on the news more often."
"Do you want to go and check on your own now mister sassy?"
"Nice one, see you later mommy dear!" He was about to leave but her comeback turned him into stone.
"Enjoy your date!"
"I'm not going on a date!" She stomped back to her office all smiles and he followed behind her waving his arms like it was the end of the world.
"It's not a date!" He repeated, although the fact that his games with Logan was going on for a month now kept on eating him up alive, this had never happened before.
"I'm busy James, you can go now…" She returned to her pile of endless paperwork and didn't even look at him, which was one of her more war honed battle tactic on making her son spill his guts out.
"If you really want to know I'm going to a hospital to have a rectal exam! So there!"
"By your Love Doctor I take it? How charming…" She sounded bored and uninterested and James fought the urge to throw her out the window but he was sure she would survive even though they lived in the last two floors of a skyscraper building.
"Yes! Kinky sex in a public place, do you remember sex Brooke?"
"Watch the line James…" She took her letter opener and pointed it at him playfully or menacingly, he couldn't tell, still he managed to hide the goose bumps of fear.
"It doesn't even unnerve you anymore does it?"
"What? That you found someone who can keep up with your sexual addiction, no, good for you I guess. I would like to meet him though to make an appraisal but oh well, I have more important things to do, like plan my trip to Hawaii for a spring calendar."
"You're leaving?"
"For a week, didn't my assistant call you?"
"No, have fun don't eat the sharks!"
"You too! And if you get caught you can call the legal department for a bail! Also see if your perverted, unethical doctor can give you an actual check up. You've been long overdue, you may need brain surgery!"
"His name is LOGAN and he could actually pull that off!" James screamed slamming the door behind him and Brooke wrote the name down on her little black book so she wouldn't forget the name of her son's boyfriend.
James got out of the cab but the excitement and lust he initially felt for Logan and their upcoming meeting was replaced by anger towards his mother and his fear of hospitals, it took him a few minutes to calm himself down and eventually he put that killer smile of his on and walked towards the entrance, he made it to the receptionist and focused on the goal trying to ignore the smell and the sick people around him.
"Hi, I have an appointment…"
"Name?" She asked eyes still on the computer screen clicking away buttons while people behind her walked up and down passing charts and talking gibberish.
"James Diamond…it's about…" She passed him a pile of papers and gave him a pen.
"You're in examination 4-D, fill these up and we'll forward them to your doctor."
"Do I have to…?" James whimpered when he saw the forms.
"What kind of question is that? Of course you have to."
"I just thought…never mind…" He took a pen and skimmed the questions, he thought that Logan would somehow sneak him in or something but apparently they had to do this by the book and James didn't like it one bit. He thought of lying about his information or leaving altogether but then his message tone rang.
"One minute late and counting, where are you Jamezy? I'm on the clock and the more late you are the less time we have..."
It took him ten minutes to fill the forms, the receptionist passed them over to a young nurse and she led James to the elevator, she skimmed through the forms as they came up the floors and she gave him a silly smile while he started to sweat in earnest feeling asphyxiated and boxed in.
"Don't worry, you're in good hands. Doctor Mitchell may be an intern but he could give anyone here a run for his money in almost every field." James caught a warm fond smile on her lips and he returned it.
"So, I'm safe?"
"Yes, although it can be a discomforting procedure but I'm sure Doctor Mitchell will do his best to be gentle."
"Wanna bet…?" He mumbled but she didn't hear him, they got out of the elevator and she had to hold the door for him until he plucked the courage to get out, she led him to the examination office and knocked.
"Doctor Mitchell it's your 13.30."
"Come in." The nurse entered the room, James had one foot in and one out, battling between his survival instincts and the maddening lust he felt for the sensual man in the white coat sipping his coffee reading files, he even looked bored.
"Thank you Betty." He took the papers and skimmed through them and James noticed how he refused to even look towards his direction.
"Are you all good Logan, do you need anything else?"
"I'm fine, I'm sure I'll manage you can go now." But she didn't, instead she leaned forwards and whispered conspicuously close to his ear, James' heart spiked and twisted with unexpected pain at the sight.
"I saw your facebook status and I was wondering…"
"Sorry Betty, gay not bi." Not only did he cut her sort, he didn't even bother saying it in a low voice and James didn't know what to do first, pummel her for flirting with his Kitty, or wring Logan's neck because of that crook smile he gave her as a consolation prize.
"Hello, Doctor Mitchell, I'm your patient, right here waiting, can I come in now?!" James finally snapped and entered the room and with a quick apology the nurse was out closing the door behind her in three seconds flat.
"I'm sorry mister…Diamond is it?" Logan looked at James' forms, feigning ignorance and gave a hand out for a quick handshake, James' jaw dropped.
"Oh, is this is how you're going to play it heartbreaker?" James growled and took Logan's hand with enough force to break his bones, he wasn't surprised that Logan's sly smile didn't leave his lips neither was he surprised that he showed no apparent discomfort.
"Excuse me did you say something?"
"Masochist…" Logan ignored that too and he leaned on the desk nonchalantly arms crossed on his chest, James was ready to jump on him and rip his clothes off but he didn't want to give in yet.
"So, mister Diamond what seems to be the problem?"
"I have an itch." James' skin was boiling red but it had nothing to do with shame or fear it had to do with Logan's coy expression as he kept the professional mask on.
"An itch?" Logan tilted his head and shot an eyebrow.
"Yeah an itch and if you ask me where I swear to God I'm going to black your eye!"
"Calm down mister Diamond, there's no need to be nervous, I'll take care of you…" And as reassurance Logan licked his lips and left his mouth open so James could see him playing with his tongue.
"You better…" James muttered and swallowed hard, and Logan walked over to the examination bed gesturing James to have a seat.
"Don't I need to undress…?" He was shaking like a leaf and Logan saw the terror in his eyes, he almost had a mental orgasm intoxicated by the simple fact that he was the one leading their dance this time.
"All in good time…" One hand on James' shoulder petting him gently in order to calm him down, eyes on the damn papers again that James wished he could grab from his hands and rip them to shreds.
"Weren't we in a hurry?"
"Whatever do you mean?
"You know something Logan, this is getting…"
"David."
"What?"
"You're middle name's David and you're one year younger than me, you were born in New York, and in occupation you wrote art student down, imagine that."
"YOU MANIPULATIVE PIECE OF…"
"Don't shout, this is a hospital…" Logan caressed a cheek, and he lowered himself down on his knees, James thought of kicking him in his rage, but that hungry look in Logan's dark eyes drained him of his energy. Logan reached down took off one of James' shoes, kissed a knee and caressed the back of his leg but when he went for the other one he took a bite instead.
"Tell me more about this itch…" He got up and gently pushed James back on the examination bed, and James found it excruciating to breathe, he tried to loosen his tie and he took off his glasses and covered his eyes with his arms as Logan unbuckled his victim's belt.
"I have this itch, it burns sometimes…" He continued with his fib, and Logan took the pair of glasses that James kept on his fingers and he put them back where they were supposed to be.
"No, no, keep those on, they're a turn on for me remember…it's these we don't need…" He pulled James' pants down and threw them on the floor but when he pulled the underwear though, James noted, that he tacked away in an inner pocket of his coat after taking a long whiff of the musky scent.
"Next question Davey boy, are you sexually active…?" James saw him take two latex gloves and he put one on while he held the other with his teeth, James couldn't handle it anymore he went to stroke himself craving for relief but Logan slapped the hand away.
"Don't do that you'll ruin everything, now answer my question."
"Yeah I'm active…"
"In what way…?" Logan had him part his legs and he trailed his index from James's lips across his chest and down his member that pulsed with life.
"I'm bi…"
"Bisexual you mean?
"Yes…come on Logan this is torture…"
"We haven't even started yet…tell me have you had many men inside you?" He took a bottle of lubricant and James soon felt the liquid cold on his skin, Logan spread it around the entrance muscle first and then he coated two fingers.
"I don't know…I don't keep count…"
"Liar…did you ever have more than one in here at the same time…?" James felt the fingers inside of him, inside and out but it didn't last for long, Logan plunged them in like cold knives until his very knuckles and kept them there.
"Ah…yes once…" James croaked and Logan made an amused face.
"You're awfully loose if it was just once…maybe you have an infection…" He resumed the intrusion, wiggling them inside James' walls and James tried to touch himself again but Logan wouldn't have it. He stopped, pulled out, he grabbed James by his wrists and fell on top of him, James almost had a heart attack when he saw his distorted face.
"Do I need to tie you up or are you going to be a good boy Jamezy and let me do my damn job?!"
"I'll behave sir…"
"Good…if you're good I'll give you a lollypop when I'm done…" He smiled and kissed his sticky forehead and then he jumped down from the bed before James could kiss his lips.
"Turn around, I need to take a closer look, all fours now…" He commanded and slapped a thigh, James was more than eager to follow commands as long as Logan gave them in that low raspy voice he was willing to do anything he asked, Logan returned the probing fingers where they were made to be, inside the man he desired to consume.
"Let's see now, open up, relax…" He put his hands on James' butt cheeks parting them, and James did everything to relax as Logan pushed three fingers instead of two, but that was just one hand, the other was soon around James milking him, and James gave out pleasured thankful moans.
"Doesn't it hurt mister Diamond, no discomfort at all…?"
"Fuck no…it feels good Doc…so good…" James moved around Logan's fingers following the pace and he wondered how in the world could Logan keep this façade up for what seemed like hours to him, the man hadn't even taken a single piece of clothing off yet, his skin was flushed, he was sweating but that was it.
"Do you put toys in here…?" Logan used the questions to distract him, to prolong his frenzied quest inside of James; he was hell bent to go on until he found that particular bundle of nerves inside his pet and claim it as his own.
"No I don't need them…"
"That's because you're a slut Jamezy…" He gave him bites to mark his territory and he soon buried his lips on James's genitals taking long licks, and James wanted to collapse, scream, cry, because this was just foreplay he realized, all this pleasure he gave him, all this pleasure that made his nerve system crackle with electricity was just Logan's version of foreplay.
"God I've never…no one's ever touched me like this Doc…"
"It's all in the wrist…" Logan joked and then James gave a desperate cry out because finally Logan found what he wanted.
"There! There!" James shouted with sthenic breath and Logan closed his eyes satisfied with his victory.
"I know…I know…be quiet or we'll get caught…" Logan massaged the area, tongue still worshiping his shaft, and James was just clay now, clay to be shaped anyway Logan wanted him to be.
"I think I know what kind of medicine you need…you sick, sick bitch…" He took the fingers out, he proceeded to devour him everywhere because he was addicted to the taste of the man's skin and James tried to keep his moans down in vain until Logan got up, threw the gloves off and smacked him playfully.
"Shush now or no lollipop for you…"
"Anything…I'll do anything…I'm all open Doc…give me that meat of yours please…"
"You have to crawl on the floor first you little slut…get the circulation running… doctor's orders…go…" James couldn't believe his ears, he thought he knew about the beast underneath the man but apparently he was wrong, for a second, just a tiny fragment of a second he regretted ever giving him that damn drink the night they met, his body though had another opinion, he stood up and did exactly what Logan degreed.
"Do you want me to beg? Cause I'll beg…I'd kill for you right now baby…so stop torturing me…please stop…." Logan smiled at him and dropped his pants and underwear at the same time, he took a condom from a pocket of his white coat and for a moment lost in his madness he thought of throwing it away because he wondered how James' skin would feel if they did bare and raw.
He ripped the wrapping and wore the latex with a sad sigh holding on to the last straws of sanity, he fell on James' back biting his lower lip, one hand wrapped around himself to align on James' abused entrance the other around James' waist pulling him closer, before ramming him he had to confess though, lift some of the burden in his heart.
"I just wanted to see…see if I could bring a god on his knees…you're beautiful…even now sweating like a pig you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life…" The only thing James was allowed to say back was how good and big Logan was as he pushed forward and inside with all his strength.
"Logan…you're an animal…fuck me…you're the best…" Logan didn't hold back, not with his thrusts, not with his fever pitched groans, he had a hand on James' muscled neck, his teeth on his earlobe nipping it, trying to control himself and not draw blood, James wouldn't have cared though, his prostate was on fire and that was more than he could ever ask.
"Feel that Jamezy…that's all of me inside of you…because you're loose…because you're a whore…but you're my whore now…mine…" He growled and pulled away he turned James on his back grabbed his tie and forced him up and then he invaded his mouth with his tongue, he had decided to stop only in the extreme case James died by the lack of air.
"You're so screwed Logie…you're a madman…I did this to you...me…" As Logan spread James on the floor and the pounding resumed James' heart exploded because he could see clearly that Logan was holding on a thread, and behind the fire and the pleasure there was also sadness, loneliness, Logan desperately was trying to connect with him in some way using their bodies as a medium, but unfortunately it wasn't enough, and James felt shame, shame and guilt for putting him through this.
"Yes…yes you did…how can I ever thank you…I feel so free James…inside you I feel so free…" Logan collapsed downwards he felt his loin burn and tingle but his hips still moved beyond his control, the time was approaching, he pulled out and distanced himself from his prey gasping for air.
"Stroke yourself…" He mumbled and James did with force, the world became a blur around him, his eyes had tears falling as he jerked calling out Logan's name in relevance, Logan took in the sight with glistening eyes, he etched the scene to memory to burn away the one that haunted him, the sight of Jack and Drew.
"So beautiful…" when James erupted Logan crawled upwards positioning himself right above his head and he took off the condom and jerked to his own orgasm splashing it all over James' face.
"Here's your lollipop...be a good boy and clean me up…"
"Whatever you want Doc…whatever you want…"
"I can't believe this place has its own bathroom…" James said as he wiped his hands clean while Logan mopped the floor.
"It's the proctologist's office of course it has a sink, I had to sneak in the mop though…"
"Hey, what's up with that frown, worried somebody heard us?" Logan gave him a giggle for an answer and his cheeks blushed.
"It's a soundproof room, you ninny…"
"OH NOW YOU TELL ME!" James paced towards him grabbed and kissed his lips smiling on his mouth and Logan buried himself on his chest, trying to hide his embarrassment, he was relieved to hear James' heart beating underneath his chest, it still cried out his name.
"You're not mad with me are you…? I didn't hurt you right?"
"Oh you hurt me alright, you hurt me good, I haven't felt like that since my first time with a guy."
"Then you meant what you said earlier that I'm the best, it wasn't just sex talk?" There was a sparkle in his eyes and James recognized what it meant, it scared him more than the sick fire he glowed with earlier, he took a few steps back and he avoided the lovelorn gaze pretending that he was adjusting his clothes.
"Top three, definitely top three." Logan let a long sigh out; he turned his back on James and went to open the windows to let some fresh air in the room.
"You didn't give me back my underwear." James teased and crept behind him wanting to keep the body contact, but it was clear by Logan's posture and facial expression when he pulled away, both body and mind, that he was tumbling into depression and James didn't want that either, he didn't want to give him hope but he didn't want to leave him in despair.
"I have your address now; I'll send it to you by courier if you really want it back." Logan tried to keep his spirit up, keep his expectations locked in a box, his fears about Jack's possible betrayal, he wanted to take a step forward, he just didn't know which direction to go because the only thing he could see ahead of him was a dead end.
"Now what you did with the forms, that wasn't very nice! I have to deal with my mother's machinations every other day I don't need that crap from you…" The words died in James' mouth, he expected Logan to snap or ask him questions, but Logan just smiled, but it was a smile filled with sadness, he didn't look at James, he looked at the scenery below and with eyes still locked on the ground he raised his hand took James' glasses and threw them out the window.
"Logan what the…"
"Sorry I changed my mind; I can't stand them on you now. I have to go back to work hot stuff, you can show yourself out, ball's in your court. Call me if you want." He leaned, kissed a trembling James on the cheek and left before the other could even begin to make sense on the meaning behind the gesture.
James stopped himself as he walked down the street to take a look back to the hospital but he couldn't see the building clearly, not with all the tears burning in his eyes.
"What's happening to you Doc…why do I keep doing this to you baby…you deserve better…I don't want to hurt you but I can't risk it…you love him right…you still love him…" The tears didn't stop, not until he got to Shiva's apartment where he the mask came back on by default.