Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.

Hope everyone enjoys this chapter, this isn't the best chapter i have done but i didn't know how else to get it in the direction I wanted it to go. Hope everyone enjoys it! RandR.

Jade's POV

I need to figure out the perfect gift that isn't romantic for Christmas for Tori. I think I have some idea but I don't know yet. Tori has decided that she is still going to go to school for music so I am thinking bout getting her stuff for school for her major.

"Trina, I need to go to the mall to look for something for Tori for Christmas." I say into the phone.

"You had me at mall, want me to drive or do you?" Trina asks.

"I'll drive, you drove last time, I'll be there to pick you up in a half hour, be ready."

"K!" I hear Trina say before I click the phone.

I dry my hair quick before running the straightener over it then put on my make-up before finding an outfit. I go out to my car and stop at the coffee shop grabbing a coffee for Trina and me, yah I bought a coffee for Trina don't ask.

I beep the horn waiting in the driveway for Trina. Tori and Mrs. Vega are at a doctor's appointment and Mr. Vega is at work.

"Here, I got you a coffee, your favorite a hazelnut latte." I say handing the cup to Trina.

"Thanks." Trina says smiling taking the coffee. "So do you have any idea what you are going to get Tori?"

"Yeah I have some ideas. I want to see what I can find, I already ordered something for her but I want to get her more."

"Are you ever going to tell her how you feel about her?"

"No, Trina she is going through a lot she doesn't need me making her uncomfortable by admitting my feelings. I want to at least have her friendship so I am not going to risk it by telling her I love her." I say sadly.

"I think you should. You have helped her so much over the past couple of months. She will know your feelings are true."

"That doesn't mean she will return them." I snap out.

"But she had feelings for you before."

"Yeah that was before the accident, she doesn't remember those feelings." I say sadly. I take a big gulp of coffee not caring about it burning my mouth a little bit. "Maybe we are just meant to be friends. I told her I was in love with her and she didn't believe me then she loses her memory and her feelings she had for me. She needs to focus on herself not me. For once I am not being my selfish self because I guess that's what love does." I just shake my head mad at my eyes burning.

"I'm sorry Jade." Trina says sadly.

"It's not your fault. It's mine, I was such an asshole to her when she first came her then I fought my feelings and kept up with my assholeness so of course she didn't believe me when I told her about my feelings." I grip the steering wheel tight enough to make my knuckles white.

"I don't think someone else would ever do all the stuff you have done for Tori." Trina says and I give her a half smile.

"Love is crazy."

Trina and I walk around giving me ideas on what I might get Tori for Christmas.

After we finish at the mall we grab more coffee, Trina buys me mine this time grabbing something as well for Tori. We head back to the house to watch a movie.

"Hey Trina, hey Jade." Tori says smiling when we walk in the door.

"Hey, here Trina got you a coffee." I say handing Tori the coffee Trina got her.

"Thanks." Tori says taking it smiling.

"How was the doctors?" I ask.

"It was good he says he is amazed with my progress even happy to know that I have been playing piano and having no issue with moving my fingers to play. He wants me to continue with physical therapy as well as our walks and playing piano." Tori says smiling.

"That's great Tori." I say smiling. Trina comes back into the living room and we find a movie to watch.

Tori and I continue our walks to the pond, as well as her piano practicing. I can see each walk Tori gets stronger on her legs. I can even tell she isn't leaning on me as much when I help her up or down the stairs. Finally the 2nd week in December we walk to the park. I bring the wheelchair like always. Tori walks there and we just sit on the ground talking about nothing important like we always do or then just sit in a comfortable silence. We decide it's time to leave I help Tori up.

"Do you want to get in the chair?" I ask. Tori looks at the wheelchair for a second before shaking her head.

"No, I think I can make it back to the house." Tori says. I just nod.

I walk beside Tori pushing the chair until we get back to the house. I push the chair inside the house and turn to her.

"That was the first time you ever walked to the pond and back without using your chair. This is great tori!" I say excitedly. Tori just smile sand pulls me into a tight hug.

"I couldn't do it without you Jade." Tori says before giving me a kiss on the cheek. I just smile and follow her over to the piano.

I pull out a new piece I was helping her learn. It's a little harder than the last piece but not too hard because I don't want her to get discouraged.

Later that week Trina, Tori and I decide to go to the mall again, maybe see a movie after shopping a little. I pack the wheelchair for Tori and we head off to the mall.

"I want to try walking around, would you mind leaving it in her?" Tori asks me.

"No, just let me know if you get too tired at all or any pain and I'll get it for you." I say

Tori walks in beside me and we walk into the mall. We walk around the stores looking at stuff and Trina tries on some clothes. Tori looks at a few pieces of jewelry and buys a couple new rings and necklaces.

As Trina goes to some shops we have n interest in Tori and I sit on the bench to let Tori rest her legs a little.

"It feels really good to be walking around the mall this time." Tori says randomly.

"I'm glad you are able to again." I say turning to give her a smile

We finish shopping at the mall with Tori never needing me to get her wheelchair. I don't tell her but I am extremely happy for her.

We decide to just watch a movie at there house an find one to rent and head back to the Vega's.

We all sit in the living room watching the movie. Tori sits next to me almost leaning into me. God I wish I could just hold her while we watched a movie. I shake the thoughts from my head I need to remember we are just friends.

After the movie Tori asks if we can go to the pond. I am surprised she wants to walk more but I tell her we can go. She tells me she doesn't need the wheel chair she feels good enough to walk there and back so we head out.

As we walk to the pond I get lost in my thoughts. I am sad because it's getting harder and harder to be just Tori's friend but I am too afraid to tell her because I don't want to lose her. But what if Trina is right, maybe I should just tell her, maybe she will somehow remember her feelings fro me.

"What's on your mind Jade?" Tori asks breaking me form my thoughts.

"Oh just a script I have been thinking of writing."

"Oh what's it going to be about?" Tori asks as we get to the pond.

"Just a horror movie, I just want to make it with such a surprise twist it will be talked about forever." I say. We get to the pond and sit.

"Tori, I just, I uh want to say you were awesome Today, your piano skills have gotten so much better and then you being able to talk all around the mall today then here, it was amazing." I say when we sit at the pond. I really want Tori to know how proud I am and somehow tell her how I feel.

"Thank you Jade. The doctors say I will be bale to go to school next semester. I'll take one class once a day 3 days a week. I am so excited."\ Thank you so much for your help I really couldn't have done it without you!" Tori says as tears form her eyes and then fall. Tori pulls me into a tight hug and I get lost in the feelings.

"Tori you did this all yourself. You are so strong his was all you. I told your parents you were a fighter and you would come back from this." I whisper into Tori's ear before kiss her cheek. I pull back and look into Tori's eyes. We are so close I can feel her breath on my lips. "You are so beautiful." I say before I lean forward before I know what I am doing. Just before I meet her lips Tori pulls back.

"What are you doing?" Tori says. Panic is all over her face.

"Oh god I am so sorry, I didn't mean to, I, I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know what came over me I am so sorry Tori." I say as my eyes burn. How could I be so stupid I knew she wouldn't like me back this way.

"I don't like you like that Jade, I'm not into girls!" Tori snaps out but she sounds more afraid than angry. I hang my head in shame as tears start to fall from my eyes.

"I am so sorry Tori." I mumble out not looking at her. I hate myself right now. I have never hated myself so much.

"Just leave me alone please. I don't want to be near you right now, I, I just want to be alone please." Tori says sounding more sad than angry.

"Tori I need to make sure you get home safe." I say looking up at her.

"I'll be fine." Tori says getting frustrated.

"Tori I am not leaving you here alone!" I say getting angry. I know I fucked up but wanting to leave her here is a little extreme.

"I said I'll be fine!" Tori snaps out.

"No you won't Vega!" I snap out before my eyes go wide with realization at what I just said. I was trying so hard not ot call her Vega anymore. Tori has an odd look on her face.

"God Tori I am sorry. I know you don't want to be near me right now and I completely get that but I need to make sure you get home safe I can't leave you here alone." I say sadly. I'm so stupid I just fucked up big time she probably will never even want to talk to me again after this.

"Just let me make sure you get home then you don't have to talk to me or see me again." I say as a few tears fall. Tori just nods.

I walk a little but behind Tori in shame so angry with myself. I walk to my car as Tori walks up to the front door when we finally reach her house. I look up just as she turns around to opening the door. She has a mix of sadness, anger and something else, maybe guilt, on her face. She just shakes her head before walking in the house. I get in my car before punching my steering wheel until my hand hurts and is bleeding. That is nothing to the pain in my heart right now. I start the car to try to get home before I break down.

When I get home I immediately go to my room and take out my liquor stash. I want to forget everything. Maybe I can drink myself til I lose my memory for good. What I would do to switch places with Tori to not remember any of my memories because fuck they hurt.

Tori's POV

I lay in bed replaying everything from today over and over again in my head. Today was amazing. Jade helped me so much the past few weeks and I feel myself falling for her more and more. Why did I freak out when Jade tried to kiss me? I wanted her to. But when it happened I just freaked out. I have all these emotions going on in my head that I don't even know how to handle.

I feel like I am drowning right now. I am trying to walk again, learn piano and figure out why I have these feelings for Jade. I didn't have feelings for her before? No I couldn't have. If I did and she liked me back then we would have been together.

But her reaction. When she called me Vega. I saw a different side of Jade. She was not the same Jade that has been helping me these past few months. I feel tears fall down. I shake my head trying to get it out of my head I don't want to see her like that anymore.

I couldn't deny that I had growing feelings for Jade as these past few weeks progressed but it did freak me out. I didn't think she really liked me back. Then there was the day I almost kissed her in my room. I was so freaked out I was happy she still wanted to talk to me after I didn't think she would return my feelings.

On Thanksgiving she helped me with my piano so much my parents were so proud when I played the piece by myself it was like they had their old daughter back. I wish I could remember.

It is destroying me inside that I don't remember anything. It's so frustrating! I don't know why I wanted to go to the pond today, it was almost like I wanted to know if Jade returned my feelings but then I freaked out and I don't honestly even know why.

Did I always like girls or is it because of the accident I even liked Jade and if I did why weren't we together before the accident. I can't help but think how my parents would react if I told them my feelings of Jade. Would they be even more upset? I know how upset they are that they already almost lost me then I drop a bombshell like this on them.

I keep thinking about Jade's reaction today. I just can't get it out of my head. That mean side of Jade, when she snapped at me calling me Vega. I shake my head trying to get it out of my head. I can't believe the first memory I had was a hateful Jade one.