((Oh my gawd, I didn't realize that I haven't updated this since January...I've had it sitting in my drafts about 80% finished for a very long time...I'm so sorry for the wait. I'm seriously loosing interested in this though. I'm going to try to keep going though, I swear! And if I do stop writing it, it will only be on Hiatus. I'll come back to it eventually...eventually. But as of now I am going to continue trying to pump out ideas for it. So again, I'm really really sorry for the wait. Warnings for this chapter...cussing, bad/unrealistic girl-nabbing, hints of KibaShika, KakaIru, KakaNaru, SasuNaru, and SaiNaru...I really like that last pairing. Don't know why. Probably because Sai is SO boviously in love with Naruto, and Sasuke SO doesn't deserve Naruto...it's cute and agsty. Ok, how did I get started on that? Let's move on. I don't think I have any reviews to reply to, so on to the story! Enjoy!))
Just about everyone on the team, except for Naruto, was kind of nervous about this mission.
It wasn't everyday you were told to infiltrate the Akatsuki hideout and retrieve two girls.
"All right! I'm so pumped! Let's do this!"
"Naruto, what is wrong with you? This is going to be very dangerous! How can you be excited at a time like this?" Sakura snapped at him.
"Oh relax Sakura-Chan! These akatsuki idiots won't even see it coming! We've got the element of surprise!"
WHACK. Down went Uzumaki!
"Owwww! What was that for?"
"YOU'RE the idiot! Just shut up and do as you're told!"
Kakashi sighed. If those two bickered like this the entire way there, the Akatsuki would hear them coming from ten miles away. He glanced over at Shikamaru, who was now trying to keep Sakura from doing any real damage to Naruto.
"Uh, guys?" Kakashi said suddenly. The three looked over at him.
"I hate to be a bother, and I know Naruto only recently returned, but could you possibly stop acting like genin who just graduated from the academy and get this mission on with like the chunin and jonin you are?"
Sakura looked a bit sheepish and apologized, then giggled.
"But Sensei, you forgot! Naruto IS a genin!"
"Oh come on Sakura! I'm not at a genin's level, I just haven't gotten to take the chunin exams yet! It's not my fault! In fact, I bet I got so strong that I'm jounin level like Shikamaru now too!"
"I wouldn't count on it Naruto."
"Not you too Nara!"
Kakashi sighed. This was going to be one long mission.
"Hidan, you need to come out of the closet!"
"I CAN'T you stupid bitch!"
"Beep."
"STOP DOING THAT!"
"Come on, it's not good to lie to yourself or anybody else. Just come out of the closet already!"
"It's kind of hard to do that when you TIED ME UP COMPLETELY and I have NO fucking way of opening the mother fucking door!"
"Beep beep."
Kagami and Akiko were, once again, torturing Hidan about his 'gayness'. A couple of weeks had passed, and they got in the habit of following him around, going 'beep' every time he cussed, which only made him cuss more. They had recently ambushed the poor Jashinist and tied him up very thoroughly, then thrown him in a closet and were now insisting that he 'come out.'
"Just give her what she wants and it'll be much easier on all of us!"
Akiko chimed in.
"If I wasn't TIED UP I would!"
"Excuses excuses!"
"You little...I swear when I get out of this, I'm going to KILL YOU!"
"You can't! You're not allowed remember?"
"It'll be hard to take it back when you're dead!"
"We'll just have Tobi protect us!"
This is where Hidan started laughing insanely at the mere thought of Tobi beating him in a fight.
"Before you say anything, let's just remember who distracted you long enough for us to tie you down! That's right. Tobi!"
"I'LL KILL THAT FUCKER TOO!"
"Beep! Gee Hidan, you're not doing so good today...that's already 2500 yen (approximately $25) for the swear jar!"
"FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE BITCH!"
"...2700 yen (approximately $27)
"What in the heck are you doing now?" Kakuzu grumbled, coming down the hallway.
Kagami giggled. "Look Hidan, Kakuzu's already out of the closet and waiting for you to join him!"
"...What?"
"That bastard was never IN the closet!"
"So he's been out all this time? Brave dude! Kudos to you Kakuzu!" Kagami said, grinning.
"...I'm leaving."
"Oh and by the way Hidan, you now owe 2800 yen to the swear jar!" Akiko reminded him.
"Woah wait, swear jar?"
"Yup!"
"...how much is in it?"
"Hmm...well, we've collected about 10000 yen($100) today and yesterday, and he owes about 2800 more...plus what we've collected since we started the jar last week. It's 100 yen($1 catch the drift?) per swear word.
Kakuzu looked as though he was about to start drooling.
Kagami giggled. "You want some of the money?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.
"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I do!"
"I tell you what. I'll give you...5000 yen every time you and Hidan have a yaoi moment."
"Forget it."
"But Kakuzu, for just two yaoi moments today, you'd have all the money we made yesterday."
"...I'll think about it."
"But we do have rules!" Akiko chimed in.
"Rules?"
"Yep! You can't got over the amount of money that's currently in the jar, and if there's only 50000 yen or less, you won't be getting paid."
"But feel free to make free yaoi moments." Kagami giggled.
"K-kakuzu? DON'T DO IT MAN!" Hidan wailed from inside the closet.
"We'll see." He said, quickly shuffling down the hall and away from them.
Kagami and Akiko giggled and high fived.
"Oh yeah, we definitely got him now!"
"Of course we do! Kakuzu can't resist money! I bet he'd be a whore if he had to."
"Akiko! How odd of you to think that!"
"...I get it from you!"
"Touche! All right! Now, let's go run around and cause more havoc, and leave Hidan to stew for an hour or seven."
"Sounds good to me!"
"Come Tobi! AWAAAAAY!"
It had taken awhile, but the Konoha team had managed to locate and silently enter the akatsuki base. "All right. Remember the plan everyone? We'll split up and search for the girls. There's only two of them so unless they're guarded, getting them shouldn't be too hard. It's getting out that worries me." Kakashi kind of started muttering to himself.
"Um...Sensei?"
"Oh sorry. Naruto and I will be one team, and Sakura and Shikamaru will be the other. There are plenty of Anbu surrounding the base as backup, but they won't be coming in with us unless it's an emrgency, so if you need help, radio them in. When you come across a girl, let the other team know through your comm devices. Go!"
And so, the two teams split up in the Akatsuki base, adrenaline pumping, hearts pounding, senses on full alert.
"Pein-Sama. I believe we have Konoha intruders." Zetsu appeared in Pein's floor so suddenly all the time, so his appearance didn't really bother the leader, but what he said DID bother him.
He stood up sharply from his seat and slammed his hands down on the desk.
"WHAT?" He bellowed.
"I'm afraid we have intruders. From Konoha. Like I said...I believe they're here for those girls. Can we eat them? The intruders I mean"
"Alert all of the members! I want those girls surrounded and protected! Do not allow Konoha to leave with them!"
"Understood. So I take it we can eat them then if we need to? Good. I'm starving." Zetsu was gone again.
Pein narrowed his eyes. /So is that where they're from? Konoha after all?/
"RUN AWAAAAY!"
"Ack, it's gaining on us!"
"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY, DON'T HURT TOBI!"
"Stupid sword! It's too fricken heavy!"
"WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS ANYWAY?"
"...Kagami, it was your idea."
"...Oh. Never mind then. It was a perfectly brilliant idea that is only failing due to my idiotic partners."
"Oh screw you!"
"That's yucky!"
"What Tobi said. No thanks."
"UG!"
Kagami, Akiko, and Tobi had decided that their next order of business would be to steal Kisame's sword by tieing a rope around the handle and dragging it away. However, they were having minor difficulties in their escape as Kisame could run surprisingly fast, and his stupid sword was ridiculously heavy, so all three of them had to pull on the rope in order to get it to move. They were gonna need new carpets down this hallway...
"Quick, around the corner!" Kagami shouted. They rounded the corner and slammed into something unexpected, falling on top of each other.
"Owowow..." Kagami muttered.
"What are you complaining about? You're on the top of the pile! Get offa me!" Akiko said, struggling to push her friend off of her.
"Tobi can't breathe!"
"All right, look! We're trying to run from our impending deaths so if you-holy nine-tails!"
Kagami finally looked up to yell at whoever had blocked their way, quite surprised to find Naruto standing in their path.
"...I'm not the only one seeing this...right?"
"No, I see it too!"
"Tobi can't see anything with pretty girl-chans on top of him!"
"Um...Sensei? I think I found em."
"GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD YOU LITTLE BRATS!" Kisame rounded the corner, skidding to a halt at the sight of the Konoha shinobi.
"Well shit."
Then Zetsu showed up and looked around. "Well, it would appear you've found them Kisame. I'm not needed here." And then he was gone again.
"What the hell is going on?"
Kakashi had been talking on his intercom to Shikamaru, telling them that they found both of the girls. He now stepped forward.
"We're here to retrieve two girls with no chakra and take them back to Konoha for questioning. Give them up now to avoid conflict."
"Akiko! This is our chance to vacation in Konoha! Let's just sit here and let them take us ok? Oh by the way, that's what she said." Kagami hissed.
"Are you crazy? And..that's gross." Akiko made a face.
"Um...yeah, I kinda am. Just do it ok? And you know it was hilarious."
"Fine, whatever."
Kisame started laughing. "Just the two of you are gonna take them huh?"
"Not quite. They've got friends." Shikamaru said, coming up from behind Kisame with Sakura following behind him.
"Ooooh, four little leafies hm? I'm soooo scared!" He said, laughing almost manically.
"Look, I suggest you get the hell out of here while I'm feeling generous enough to let you live."
"We're not scared of you one bit you overgrown fish!" Naruto said boldly, taking a few steps forward.
"Man, I wish I had some freaking popcorn." Kagami groaned.
"A tough guy hm? Hahaha, this oughta be fun! Gimme back my sword so I can take care of these guys you little brats."
Kagami giggled. "We would but...you wouldn't be able to move to take it."
"Huh? Why no-hey, what's going on?"
"You shouldn't have forgotten about that one! Got you with his shadow technique! Now you can't move unless he wants you to!"
Shikamaru looked a bit surprised. "You're very quick."
Kagami and Akiko both looked at each other and laughed. "Oh, you have NO idea!"
"All right Naruto, let's get the girls and go! Sakura, Shikamaru, you're to head out immediately after us! Let's go!" Kakashi lunged forward and quickly threw Kagami over his shoulder, Naruto doing the same with Akiko.
"AIR! Tobi can breathe again! Hey, where are pretty girl-chan's going?"
"Ow, ow, ow! AGAIN with the freaking shoulders? AND YOU'RE RUNNING! This is NOT comfortable!" Kagami complained. Kakashi was quite puzzled by how these grils were behaving.
"Hey, hey wait! Second door on the left, go in there! There's a jar full of money I have to grab, or I know that bastard Kakuzu will take it!"
"What? We don't have time to stop!"
"If we don't stop and just grab the fricking jar, I'm going to scream. And I was planning on making this easy for you."
It took them about 8 seconds to grab the jar and be back on their way out.
"Oh wait!"
"Now what?"
"That closet, open that closet!"
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
Kakashi wasn't too sure he wanted to, based on the muffled yells and curse words that were coming from the closet door.
"LET ME OUT YOU LITTLE FUCKERS! I'LL KILL YOU!" Suddenly, the closet door opened, leaving Hidan silent for a few seconds.
"Thank Jashin! Wait...who the fuck are you?"
"Hi there Hidan! These are Konoha shinobi! They're taking us with them, back to Konoha!"
"...they're taking you with them?"
"Yep!"
"...Please close the door."
"Fine, be that...HEY! That's rude! I don't wanna stay here with you anyway!"
With that, Kakashi rolled his eyes and kept going. "We are NOT making any more stops!"
"Nowhere else that we need to!"
"Good."
Surprisingly enough, they got out without further difficulty, Shikamaru and Sakura not far behind them. By the time Zetsu got word out to the other members, it was too late.
"But we're not safe till we're back home. We need to go as far as we possibly can tonight. Put as much distance between us and them as we're able to without collapsing from exhaustion. We should get back to Konoha early tomorrow."
"Whoo! Vacation time! You know, you guys are actually kind of a godsend, cause it was starting to get REALLY stuffy in that base! There's only so much a person can do to Hidan before you run out of fresh, original ideas."
Kakashi was beginning to wonder what exactly they'd gotten themselves into.
"So...let me get this straight. You're from a completely different world in which our world is a television show, and that's how you have all that information on us?" Tsunade asked, not believing a word that came from her mouth just now.
"Yeah, that's the gist of it anyway!" Kagami said, nodding matter-of-factly.
"You DO realize that there's no way I can believe that, right?"
"Believe it or not, that's the truth!"
"We could tell you a story that you'd believe, but then we'd be lieing!" Akiko chimed in.
Tsunade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. They didn't appear to being lieing but what they said was just...outrageous! However, it would explain the apparent lack of chakra.
"Kakashi, I'm going to place you in charge of guarding these girls. Let them stay at your place and keep a close eye on them. Act like a body guard per se. Oh and tell Shizune to bring me some sake. Lots of sake. Dismissed."
Kakashi sighed and nodded, turning and heading for the door, motioning for the girls to follow. Once out, Kakashi passed on the message to Shizune and headed for the exit. "Well, see you later Sensei! Good luck!" Naruto said, grinning and going his separate way, bugging Sakura to go out for ramen with him, who denied, saying she had other things to do. Shikamaru yawned, muttered somthing about everything being a drag and walked off. Kakashi continued on his way with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, the girls following silently behind him.
Well...for a few seconds that is.
Kagami skipped up to walk beside Kakashi while Akiko looked around excitedly, still following behind them. "So, Kakashi-San! Do you have a boyfriend?"
The silver haired man faltered in his steps slightly and turned to look at the smiling girl, raising an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"Do. You. Have. A. Boy. Friend?"
"...No."
"Aw, why not? I bet you'd look totally hot with another guy."
"I wonder what kind of punishment I'd get for dumping you off on Gai."
Kagami's facial expression turned to one of horror.
"No! Kami no! Anything but that crazy green death monkey! I beg of you no! I'll be good!"
"What did I miss?" Akiko asked, coming up to walk on the other side of Kakashi.
"Scarecrow is threatning to dump us off on Gai!"
"Oh God no!"
"That's what I said!"
"What did you do to make him threaten us already?"
"I asked him if he had a boyfriend."
"...I am NOT playing matchmaker with you this time!"
"Aw, come on! I already have the perfect match for him!"
"Oh look, there's Gai now."
"NO! HAVE MERCY! I BEG OF YOU! OK I'm done! No more love life prying! Today! I promise! Most likely!"
Kakashi chuckled mentally. Ok, so this might be kind of entertaining. It wasn't often he was asked to watch over two cute girls. Granted they were kinda young looking...but still.
"All right, so tell me a little bit about yourselves." He requested.
Kagami grinned. "Well, obviously, I'm Kagami."
"And I'm Akiko!"
"We already knew that. How old are you girls?"
"I'm 17, and Akiko's 16."
Kakashi mentally cursed. Yep. Too young. Legally anyway...no no. Too young. He sighed.
"How old are you?"
"Pardon?" He hadn't been expecting that.
"How. Old. Are. You?"
"That's none of your business."
Kagami pouted. "Hey, no fair old man! We told you our ages, and you're not even supposed to ask a lady her age!"
"First off, I'm not an old man. Second off, to be fair, you don't exactly act like ladies."
Ouch.
"Hey, that's mean!" Akiko whined.
"Well to be fair, I called you an old man because you look like one." KAgami said, stopping for a moment and crossing her arms, putting emphasis on 'to be fair'.
Kakashi blinked. Ok, they were pretty good.
"All right, let's move on to somthing else. What do you girls like to do to entertain yourselves?"
"Draw." Akiko said sweetly.
"Read, write, and watch yaoi."
Well that explained alot.
"What do you like to read and write about?"
"I just told you. Yaoi."
"...Ok then."
"Oi, Kakashi-Sensei! You didn't kidnap a couple of little girls did you?" Kakashi twitched.
"I didn't kidnap anyone, I'm watching them under Tsunade's orders Kiba."
"WE ARE NOT LITTLE, YOU MUTT!"
"Mutt?" Kiba asked, confused. "How did you-"
"Know about your nickname? We're phsycics. By the way, you should REALLY stop being in denial that you're in love with Shikamaru. Seriously. It's not healthy. Just shag him already!"
"...I really didn't want that mental image Kagami." Akiko groaned.
"WHAT THE FRICKEN HELL MAN?" Kiba shrieked, paling considerably.
"...Ok, we're leaving now. Remind me to avoid Shikamaru." Kakashi said, sighing.
"Oh come on. Everybody here has to admit they would be a fucking adorable couple. And a pretty hot couple in bed...with Kiba topping of course...maybe we should go find Shika again and discuss his sexual preferences?"
"Let's not please!" Akiko whined.
"Yeah, not happening."
"Dude, good luck with these phsycos. I'm going-"
"To go masterbate to thoughts of Shikamaru?"
"Fuckin hell that's disgusting!" Kiba growled.
"I second that!"
"Make me the third."
"I don't know why you're complaining Kakashi. We all know you aren't grossed out by the thought of two hot dudes going at it, because it's quite obvious you wanna shag Naruto."
"Wh-what?" He sputtered, looking incredulous. "Th-that's rediculous!"
"And if you can't have him, Iruka's a close second is he not?"
"No!"
"Oh, so Naruto's the only one for you? Hm...interesting."
"...Good luck Kakashi, ya old perv." Kiba snickered. "By the way, I'm telling Naruto." He said, quickly fleeing the scene.
"No, wait! It's not true!"
"Ya know, you're gonna have a hard time with the little blonde ball of sunshine, cause if Sasuke-Bastard ever decides to come back, we all know that Naruto would drop any partner he had for duck-ass in three seconds flat, which really makes me feel for Sai, being Sasuke's replacement and all that..."
"Um..who?"
"Oh shit, I've said too much. Ok, changing topics!"
"THANK GOD!" Akiko said, fake tears of happiness flowing freely.
"Oh shut it you closet yaoi obsessed child."
"I am NOT!"
"Ok, both of you shut up right now or I swear I will use thousand years of death on both of you!"
Both girls paled and instantly fell silent. "All right all right! Sheesh! No need to molest anybody." Kagami muttered as they followed after him.
"I heard that!"
She paled again and finally fell silent, following Kakashi to his home obediently.
((So next chappie will entail more random crack and wreaking havoc in Konoha. There will be plenty of 'Gay Counseling', specifically towards Kiba and Shikamaru, because I swear, that's my favorite Naruto pairing. KakuHida a very close second. Just a warning. There might be KakaNaru fluff, but I haven't decided yet. If things go according to plan, there will be at least two chapters with the girls in Konoha, if not three, before they're taken back by Akatsuki. So stay tuned, I'm sorry about the wait, and although I'm not making any promises, I am honestly trying to speed things up here, but hopefully you know how inspiration works and can understand where I'm coming from. Thanks for reading, and please, please, PLEASE, review! I could really use the feedback, and anyideas or tips you guys might have for me! Till next time!))