Chapter 7: Guilt and Fights
A/N: Here's chapter 7…..
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - R&J - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The next morning, a disheveled Remus was lying in the middle of the forest, curled into a ball and completely naked, sleeping quietly. The birds chirped and the gentle breeze made the trees sway gently, and as Remus slept off the after-effects of his transformation, he was suddenly jerked out of his sleep by a spark of something hitting his ass, making him jump up and spin to see Severus standing there, eyeing him with disgust.
He said loudly, "Severus, what the fuck? What the hell was that for?" and Sev took off his cloak and tossed it to him, saying, "Put this on, Lupin, and come with me right now" and Remus pulled on the cloak and followed Severus out of the forest and into the castle.
They went to his quarters so he could get properly dressed, and as they left, Remus said, "So Severus, why did you feel the need to give me such an abrupt wake up call?" and as he noticed the direction in which they were headed, he added, "And why are we heading towards the Hospital wing?"
Sev looked sideways at him and said, "Remus, it's Jamie. She's……." but he didn't even have time to finish because at the mention of Jamie's name, Remus took off running at breakneck speed towards the Hospital wing, with Sev trying to keep up with him. When Remus turned the corner, Albus and Minerva were standing outside the Hospital Wing, talking quietly. Remus ran up to them and said, "Where is she?" and Albus said, "Remus, my boy…….." but he cut him off, saying loudly, "Albus, now is not the time. Now please, move aside so I can see my girlfriend."
Minerva and Albus cast a nervous glance at each other briefly before stepping to the side, allowing Remus to push open the doors and enter the Hospital Wing. As his eyes swept through the room, he noticed a mop of long, black hair in one of the beds, and saying softly, "Jamie" he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it next to his unconscious girlfriend.
He studied her for a few minutes, noticing that she was a bit pale, a sharp contrast to her normally tanned skin. She still looked beautiful to him, though; she almost reminded him of the princess Snow White, from the old muggle fairy tale. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, making her sigh lightly, but not wake up. He then sighed and said to himself, "Oh, Jamie. What happened to you?"
Hearing footsteps behind him, Remus turned his head and saw Poppy Pomfrey, Albus, Minerva and Severus standing there, staring at him oddly. He then said to Madame Pomfrey, "Poppy, what happened to her?" and she shifted nervously before saying, "W-well, Remus, it seems that,…..um…." and she looked at Albus, who said, "Remus…..she was…attacked last night. She was attacked and….bitten."
At the word "bitten", Remus' back visibly stiffened, and he turned to face them slowly, saying, "She was bitten by what, exactly?"
Minerva then said, "It was a…..a werewolf" and Severus growled in annoyance and said, "For the love of Merlin, she was bitten by you, Lupin. You bit her." Remus' eyes widened and a look of pure horror and revulsion crossed his face, and he shook his head, saying, "No. No, it's not true. Please, it…..it can't be true. I wouldn't….." and he heard a small voice say from behind him, "It wasn't your fault, love." He turned and Jamie was awake and staring at him, and he said, "Why? Why didn't you listen to me? I told you to go straight back inside, didn't I?" and Jamie winced slightly at the anger evident in his voice.
She sat up, struggling a bit to do so and wincing from the pain in her side, and she said, "I had a….plan. I-I wanted to get bitten, so I could be with you not just as a human, but as a werewolf, too….as your mate" and Remus just stared at her for a minute before yelling, "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE, JAMIE? I COULD'VE KILLED YOU!! HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID??" Jamie flinched and tears filled her eyes as he yelled at her, but she refused to let them fall.
She then said, lifting her chin and her voice wavering slightly, "No offense, Remus, but it was my decision. I'm 18 years old and I am perfectly capable of making my own choices, and yes, I'll admit, it was a stupid choice, but I made it. I didn't even want to go through with it once I was face to face with Moony….." but Remus cut her off and said, "You were face to face with me. I attacked you, I……I bit you."
Jamie's eyes hardened and she said, "You and Moony are not the same people, Remus. You're kind, gentle and sweet, and I know you would never hurt me. Moony was in control last night; Moony is the monster. Not you, so stop beating yourself up over it."
Remus said, "How can you say that? I cursed you….You're too young to have to deal with this. I….I just can't…." and he sighed deeply before saying, "Can I see it?"
Jamie pulled back the covers and lifted the side of her nightgown, and Poppy grimaced, Albus shook his head lightly and Minerva gulped and said, "Sweet Merlin", while Remus closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath.
He then said, "Jamie……I can't do this anymore." Jamie's head shot up and she said, "What do you mean?" and Remus said, "This….us. We can't keep seeing each other."
Jamie said, "What? Remy, what are you…..just because of what happened?" He nodded and she said loudly, "You can't just end it like that! If anything, I need you more than ever now….please, Remy. You can't…..you can't do this to me….to us!!"
Jamie had started crying, and she was slowly getting hysterical as she tried to make sense of what was happening. Her magic started getting out of control and the glass in the windows of the Hospital Wing started to shake slightly as the tears poured out of her big, ocean-blue eyes.
Remus turned to leave, but he stopped short when he heard Jamie say, "Remus, wait! Don't do this! It's stupid and irrational…………….stop blaming yourself, please. Just don't end it. I love you….I need you!"
Remus turned and said, "How can you say that? I've pretty much, for lack of a better term, fucked your life up royally now, and I can't live with that. I'm too guilt-ridden, and I can't even look at you properly right now without feeling responsible. I…..I just can't. Just know that I love you, and I always will."
He started to walk away and Jamie cried out, "Stop, Remus, please!" and she pulled back the sheets of the hospital bed and struggled to get up, making Poppy, Albus and Minerva rush forward to try and stop her, but she waved them away and got to her feet. She started to walk after Remus, wincing with every step she took, but she made it all of two feet before her knees gave out and she fell to the ground, crying out in pain.
She sat there, on the floor of the Hospital wing, crying hysterically, and as she said loudly, "Please, Remus, I'm begging you. Don't leave! Don't leave me! Please, love. I need you! Please!" the glass windows started to shake even more violently. Remus stopped again when he heard her start to beg him to stay, his face screwed up with regret, and he almost lost his resolve and went back to her, but he squared his shoulders and said shortly, "I hope you feel better soon, Miss McGinnis" and he left without another word.
Jamie stared after him in shock, tears streaming down her face, and as she realized that she, basically, had just been dumped by her soul mate, she let out a pain-filled shriek, and the windows imploded, showering everyone with glass. Jamie's magic formed a barrier around her, shielding her from the onslaught of jagged glass and preventing her from getting cut up, but she didn't even notice as she broke down completely, letting the top of her body collapse onto the floor as she screamed and sobbed uncontrollably.
Severus then walked up to her and knelt down next to her, putting his hand on her shoulder and saying softly, "Jamie, are you okay?" When she felt his hand on her shoulder, she lunged for him, clutching onto him and she buried her head into the front of his robes, crying and babbling incoherently. He wrapped his arms around her and comforted her, whispering, "It'll be okay, Jamie. Everything's all right" and she shook her head, mumbling, "No, it's not. Everything's ruined; he left me and I don't know what to do. Sev, please……..just make the pain go away."
Severus held her and comforted her until she pretty much cried herself to sleep, and he picked her up and put her back in the bed. Minerva clicked her tongue, saying sympathetically, "The poor dear. How will we help her through this, Albus?" but before he could answer, Severus snarled, "Forget that! Lupin is a complete ass for hurting her like this; he's basically destroyed her, and he doesn't seem to give two shits!!" Minerva glared at him for his language, but he ignored her and said, "He needs to see that she needs him to help her through this. If he needs it beaten into him, I'll gladly do the honors" and he cracked his knuckles menacingly.
Albus said, "Now Severus, hopefully it won't come to that, but since he is the only other werewolf we know, and the one who gave her her…..condition, he needs to be there for her, as she said, now more than ever."