Chapter 7: Confession
A/N: Surprise! A little update before the semester starts picking up. Good luck to everyone this semester! Updates may slow down again, but I will do my best to update ASAP!
"Dammit." Rustling through his pouch, Shikamaru felt the familiar box containing his only source of comfort after that display. Pulling out his cigarettes, the smell of nicotine already caused him to relax but the unsettling feeling still swarmed inside of him. Lighting his addiction, the embers glowed as a faint swirl of smoke emanated from the cig.
"Shikamaru!" The sound of his name caused him to tense as the one individual he was hoping to avoid appeared behind him. Turning to face her, he wasn't surprised by the slight frown that marred her features. A confused expression shone in her eyes as she stood before him. Her eyes zeroed in on the cigarette, causing her frown to deepen.
"Are you alright?" No. Although his answer echoed his mind, he couldn't bring himself to respond to her question. Not when his reaction was juvenile and unwarranted. The sight of Sakura conversing easily with Gaara unsettled him. He felt the flutter of nerves well in him as the two laughed so freely. An expression he rarely saw on Gaara during this visits to Suna shocked him. He knew the Kazekage wasn't one to associate with others or allow himself to display emotions easily. Yet, with Sakura the image of another man smiling and looking at her so fondly…he could feel his fists tighten as he forced himself to push back the ugly emotion that slowly infected him. Glaring at an unseen force, he cursed himself for allowing such a simple sight elicit a negative response. He was jealous.
It was a rare emotion for him to experience. Even when he was with Temari, before things between them went wrong, he never experienced such a strong wave of jealousy. Usually it was miniscule or something that he could logically justify, but at this moment, he felt as if there was no explanation for his impromptu response. No logic could explain why he had the sudden need to call her name and force her to end the conversation between her and the Kazekage. He was considered one of the best tacticians, yet he had no means of mapping out his escape from this conversation nor could he foretell a way to explain his actions without making him look like a fool.
Sakura examined the silent male. Although he was refusing to meet her gaze, she could see the internal struggle play out. She had an inkling of what caused his reaction, but she wouldn't dare allow herself to dwell on it. That would only cause hope, and even then, she didn't want to jeopardize their friendship based on a suspicion. It was too important to gamble away on a feeling. Locking up her emotions, she stepped closer to the male. Reaching for his hand, she was pleased when he didn't pull away like earlier. Taking a breath, she spoke once more, "Whatever it is, you can talk to me Maru."
The warmth radiating from her hand, forced him to look at her once more. Although she didn't appear to push him for answers, he could tell she would patiently wait for him to explain when he was ready. Muffling a sigh, he took his free hand to take one final drag before flicking the cigarette away. Crushing the discarded cig, he watched as the embers died before he gruffly replied.
"It's nothing."
A pink brow arched at the ambiguous response. "If it was nothing you wouldn't have reacted the way you did. Does it have anything to do with Gaara?"
The mere mention of the man's name caused him to tense once more. He didn't want to confess his childish jealousy, but the slight smirk that appeared on Sakura's lips confirmed her own suspicion. Seeing it would be too troublesome to deny it, he decided to go on the offense. "I didn't realize how close you were to the Kazekage."
Although he didn't appear to admit why he reacted the way he did, Sakura easily deciphered the hidden meaning behind his words. "It's what happens when you are sent to assist another village with their medic ninjas. He's actually nice to talk to once you get past his cold demeanor. However, I'm surprised you got jealous, Maru."
The light teasing caused him to narrow his eyes at the female. Not wanting to allow her to gain the upper hand, he merely replied, "Only when it comes to a person I care about." The confession stunned Sakura into silence as a slight blush began to appear. Smirking at her reaction, he slowly approached her, forcing her back against the building. Their faces were a mere breadth apart as he leaned towards her. His eyes lingered on her lips as he whispered, "We have work to do."
In an instant he was gone in a puff of smoke. A furious blush colored her cheeks as Sakura processed what had almost happened. Anger, excitement, and hope filled her all at once. Already knowing where the male disappeared to, she quickly made the familiar hand signals before disappearing in a flurry of cherry blossoms. Shikamaru was correct. There was work that needs to be done and a lot they needed to discuss.
Stealthily the figure moved between the trees. His lithe form and practiced movements hinted at his profession but belied his countenance. Anxiety filled him as he continued his trek. He was tasked with meeting them in an hour. It had taken three days to hear back from his liaison. After word was sent of his men's demise, he was unsure on how to proceed with the plan. Reaching for the porcelain mask, he was tempted to destroy the useless guise.
He vividly recalled the gruesome seen he had stumbled upon. He was successful in obtaining one of the ANBU masks but was also injured during combat. Glancing at his injured shoulder, he grimaced at the makeshift bandage he was forced to use in order to stem the bleeding. Originally, they were supposed to infiltrate Konoha and locate a man named Danzo, but unfortunately everything went to hell after Konoha sent one of their dogs to battle Kuro. A fierce glare glimmered behind the mask as he was the one who discovered the pink strands of hair. There was only one shinobi that was notorious for that ridiculous hair color and that was the Hokage's apprentice, Sakura. He hated the woman, but he could not deny the respect he had for her. Being able to take down Kuro along with the others was an impressive feat. But it was because of her, he was in his current predicament.
He was unable to infiltrate Konoha after learning of her survival. He knew they would be looking for him. It was pure luck that he was mistaken at first for one of the ANBU members on patrol. He had spent the last few days rotating his position based off their patrol routines. Any thought of entering the village was ruined, but he was relieved when he saw the familiar crow flying towards him. He was informed to meet the them at the Valley of the End.
The sound of running water alerted the man to his destination. Breaking through the forested area, he paused at the sight of large statues carved into the valley. It was easy to distinguish the two legends of Konoha, Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara. Their notoriety was undeniable outside of Konoha. Removing the mask, a shock of burnished brown locks appeared as gray eyes surveyed their surroundings. Briefly the eyes narrowed at the sound of rustling leaves. Reaching for his kunai, he moved to an offensive stance.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you." The familiar voice had him immediately relaxing as Suigetsu appeared. Returning the kunai into his pouch, he waited for the others to appear, as slowly the remaining members revealed themselves. Jugo appeared first, his towering form easily eclipsing Suigetsu. A bright shock of red exposed Karin, who was closely following Sasuke. Immediately bowing his head at the man, he waited for him to speak.
"What have you learned Iwao?" The cold tone caused a chill to crawl done his spine as he felt a slight sheen of sweat littering his forehead. "I was unable to enter Konoha, but I've discovered the ANBU patrol patterns. Since the operative who survived has more than likely alerted everyone of my presence, I've been immersing myself within the patrols in order to avoid being discovered."
Briefly he closed his eyes in fear of Sasuke's wrath. He had failed Sasuke. The moment he discovered Kuro's corpse, he knew his own death sentence was awaiting him. Bracing himself for the worse, he was surprised when he felt Sasuke's hand grip his shoulder. Lifting his head to meet Sasuke's gaze, he froze at the sight of red bleeding into Sasuke's eyes.
"Who was it that killed them?" Hypnotized by the sharingan, he murmured, "It was most likely the Hokage's apprentice. Sakura." Feeling Sasuke's grip tighten as his fingers buried themselves in his shoulder, he forced himself to squash the wince that was threatening to escape him.
"Can you confirm this?" The serious note in his voice easily masked any hints of anger. Grimacing, he replied, "Save for the few strands of hair that were pink, no. She survived."
The admission immediately caused Sasuke to loosen his grip. Still holding onto the man, he merely smirked as a glimmer of pride appeared in his eyes. "Did she?" Although it was rhetorical in nature, Iwao chose to remain silent. A sliver of hope appeared. Maybe Sasuke would spare him for failing the mission.
As if he heard his thoughts, the smirk immediately disappeared. Leaning forward, Sasuke muttered a few words before the man fell silent. Rising from his position, Sasuke nodded his head at Suigetsu. "His corpse must remain in one piece."
A groan was his only response, but Suigetsu easily acquiesced. Approaching the Iwao, he examined the motionless man. His mind already trapped in whatever genjutsu Sasuke used. Unleashing his sword, he smirked before swiftly cutting the man's torso. The metallic scent of blood filled the air, as the red liquid easily flowed from the wound. Tempted to do more, he was immediately halted by Jugo.
"One piece." The serious tone caused him to deflate in anger. "Fine. Give him a few more minutes. He should bleed out soon." Brushing past Jugo, he approached Sasuke who was surveying the two statues with an intense expression.
"What did you say to him?"
Not bothering to respond, Sasuke moved in the direction of the village. Suigetsu glared as he was once again ignored by the man. Shaking his head, he glanced at Karin who had a nauseous expression decorating her features. Cackling at her appearance, he moved to follow Sasuke, but was immediately pushed aside as Karin glared at him before reattaching herself to Sasuke's side.
"Che. Let's go Jugo."
Grabbing the lifeless body, Jugo nodded his head as the group began to make their way to Konoha.
The rustling of paper filled the silence as the two shinobi pondered over the scrolls. Eyes meticulously scanned the paint brushed characters for any connections to their current task. Tsunade had sent Katsuyu an hour prior to confirm the identification of the corpses. Gaara affirmed the identity of the missing nin was Iwao, however their task was tedious to say the least. The scroll Tsunade had given them contained the names of all ANBU operatives since the establishment of the group. Luckily Shikamaru was able to limit their research based off the names of the fallen operatives the hokage had provided. That still left about 100 individuals to cross reference with the names of the deceased shinobi.
"Mendokusai." The sound of Shikamaru's favorite word broke her concentration as Sakura turned to examine him. Hunched over the scroll, she could barely make out the frustrated expression and frown that marred his features. Knowing he needed a break, specifically a smoke break she sighed before turning back to her own scroll.
"Go smoke Shikamaru. It's obvious you need it."
"The fact that you are allowing me to, worries me." However, he didn't protest. Rising from his seat, he stretched out his sore muscles before grabbing his pack. Momentarily pausing to observe the concentrated expression that colored Sakura's face, he faltered at the sight of her biting her lip. Recalling his actions earlier, he quickly shuffled towards the entry. Opening the door, he lingered against the frame as he lit his cigarette. The scent of nicotine surrounded him as he observed the rows of houses surrounding Sakura's apartment. The sun was barely shining through the clouds as they blanketed Konoha, hindering one's ability to distinguish the time.
"Maru, I think I figured it out!" The excitement in her voice caused him to glance at her once more. A slight twinkle glimmered in her eyes as she approached him. Gesturing at one specific name, she said, "It's Hatsumoto Banri. He's listed as one of the deceased operatives that was missing his mask. It resembles a monkey with two red stripes decorating the cheeks. Out of all the masks that were retrieved, there was no mention of a monkey."
Anticipation filled him as he flicked away the waning cigarette. Reaching for the scroll, he barely noticed Sakura making the hand seals for her summon. Moving towards his cluster of papers, he retrieved the list of masks and confirmed Sakura's discovery.
"Katsuyu-sama, please deliver a message to Tsuande." The familiar slug nodded its head in agreement as Sakura got the okay from Shikamaru to reveal her finding. "Tell Tsunade, they need to be on the lookout for a porcelain mask in the shape of a monkey with two red stripes on its cheeks. She will understand what to do with the information."
"Hai." The slug's affirmation was followed by a slight puff of smoke as she swiftly disappeared to relay the message. Breathing a sigh of relief, Sakura relaxed against the back of the couch. Now that Neji and his group knew what to look for, it would make identifying the intruder easier. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to temporarily unwind.
"Here." A cold sensation spread from her cheek, causing her eyes to fly open. Blinking at the cold-water bottle that was pressed to her cheek, she murmured a quick thank you before reaching for bottle. Briefly her fingers brushed against Shikamaru's. The slight touch caused an immediate response as her cheeks colored, but she quickly took a sip of cold water to counteract the heated flush.
Choosing to ignore her reaction, although Shikamaru couldn't deny the slight pleasure he took from realizing he caused that response, he easily changed the conversation. "You need to go shopping. Ino was right in sending food over. There is nothing in your fridge."
The slight reprimand in his words caused her to roll her eyes as she set the bottle on the small table before her. "I was busy. I'll head to the market after I clean this up." Gesturing at the unraveled scrolls and papers strewn on her dining table where Shikamaru had worked and the little coffee table that she occupied, she sighed before rising from her spot. Allowing herself to stretch, she deftly rerolled the scrolls and arranged the paperwork. Turning to attack the dining table, she wasn't surprised to see Shikamaru already organizing his area. A slight smirk danced on her lips as she recalled the first time they had work together. He was always quick to clean his area, which surprised her as Naruto was notorious for his unruly and unhygienic habits. Not to mention, the epithet of lazy shinobi hinted at the possibility that Shikamaru was just as bad as he teammate. But no. Apparently his mother was a tyrant when it came to him cleaning after himself. The desire to avoid a troublesome lecture was his main motivator to ensure his work area was always organized.
"Thanks, Maru." A mere shrug was her only response, but the silence that fell between the two was heavy. They both knew there were matters to discuss, and the mission was a nice distraction, but it was time to have the inevitable conversation. Who would lead was what caused their current stalemate.
"Sakura…" The slight hesitation in his voice alerted her to what might be the conversation that would follow. Moving back towards the sofa, she allowed herself to sit before motioning Shikamaru to join her. Accepting her offer, he sat beside her. The willingness to face her was lost at the severity and possible awkwardness that would result from this discussion.
Not knowing where to start, he decided the retelling of what happened with Temari would be a starting point. Taking a breath, he focused on the television screen that reflected his image, as the turmoil was evident in his expression. "Temari and I broke up. I was planning it a few months back. It's why I went to see her that night."
A slight hitch in her breath hinted at the hope that began to blossom within her, but she immediately quelled it by the guilt for her reaction and the pain that resulted from her decision to take Shikamaru's mission. Conflicted at her own thoughts, she reached for Shikamaru's hand. The slight warmth gave her strength as she traced the few scars that were a result of countless missions.
"Gomen, Maru. I know you cared about her." The apology didn't surprise him, but his attention was fully directed towards Sakura's touch. Enjoying the small contact, he looked at Sakura. His anxiety regarding the situation was momentarily dulled by the one person that caused it but also seemed to relieve it.
"It was coming. We grew apart long ago, but we were too afraid to address the changes in our relationship. I don't want her to continue being with me if it makes her unhappy." The honest confession caused her heart to swell as she realized how compassionate Shikamaru could be, but her ministrations to his hand was halted by his admission. His fear of making Temari unhappy hinted that he still had feelings for her. A minute sensation of jealousy filled her, but she ruefully brushed away the sensation. After all the countless cries for Sasuke's attentions over the years, her love for him eventually dissipated. But, there were lingering feelings for him that she couldn't deny. They were no longer romantic in nature, but the likelihood of her getting rid of the feelings was slim. He was her teammate and she still cared for him.
A small smile played on her lips. "It's selfless of you, Shikamaru. Not many can admit when their relationship has gone past the point of return let alone address it. I wish Temari can find her happiness. You as well."
Her wishes didn't surprise him. Rather it just reaffirmed his characterization of her. No matter what the situation, she would always wish the best for her comrades. He knew, her confession hinted at her struggle to face the deterioration of her own relationship with Sasuke. A brief frown appeared at the thought of her former teammate. It made him hesitate as he realized no matter his relationship with Sakura, even if it was more than platonic, he would be forced to live in the shadow that Sasuke created. But…focusing his gaze on Sakura, he watched as she fiddled with her fingers. She appeared to be lost in thought, allowing him an opportunity to really look at her.
The bun she had tied her hair in earlier was disheveled as her long locks seemed to tumble around her. Following her loose locks, his eyes fleetingly examined her smooth skin that was reminiscent of the porcelain masks that was characteristic of ANBU operatives. Her expressive jade colored eyes mesmerized him as he always found himself losing any coherent thought when she focused them on him. The attention that he appeared to command, and she easily gave whenever they conversed was enticing. The tinkling laughter that sometimes evolved to unbecoming snorts that he found hilariously charming enthralled him. Her various emotions that she easily displayed and the genuine care she had for her comrades that would serve as her strength in battle earned his admiration. He loved her.
It was a shocking admission that was immediately accompanied by an innate affirmation that he was in love with her. He wanted to be the one she came to when she experienced her nightmares from past missions. Hold her when she was ready to collapse after pushing herself to the brink of exhaustion. Chase away the pain that Sasuke left her and show her what it was like to be loved. It was a strong declaration in his mind. One that was uncharacteristic of him but undeniable. He loves Sakura.
But, it was too soon to confess his feelings. The aftermath of his breakup with Temari and the swift realization of his own feelings would only alarm Sakura. And possibly make her believe she was the cause of his breakup with Temari. No. He would take it slow and allow them to explore this uncharted territory before he would admit his love for her. If she would have him of course.
The assurance he felt for his feelings wavered as a part of him worried maybe she didn't feel the same way. Even though Temari had confessed Sakura's own interest him, he couldn't logically accept it, unless he heard it directly from her.
Shikamaru's own turmoil was mirrored in Sakura's musings. A part of her genuinely wished for Temari's happiness, but she couldn't deny the inkling of hope that infected her at Shikamaru's single status. She wanted to confess her attraction, but it risked their friendship which she valued more than anything else. However, flashes of what occurred earlier between them and at the hospital stroked the possibility of being more than friends. Should she take the risk?
The question recalled memories from the conversation she had with Tsunade at the hospital. Their lifestyle was dangerous and could end with no further notice. Does that mean she would allow herself to remain placid and accept her continued state of comfort? Or would she risk the stability for a chance for something more. Glancing at Shikamaru who appeared lost in thought, she allowed her eyes to trace his features. The familiar hairstyle that was reminiscent of pineapple caused her to smile at memories of her countless teasing, but she couldn't deny how much that style suited him. The strong jawline that framed his masculine, but delicate features attracted her. Although his characteristic frown hinted at his indifferent demeanor at times, she relished the few moments she was able to coax a smile from him. Not to mention the warmth that could be found in his coffee colored eyes whenever he was worried about her. It was intoxicatingly addicting to be on the receiving end of his rare smiles or warm gaze. Even now she wished she could chase away the slight frown that was coloring his expression.
Smiling to herself, she knew the answer to the question she had poised earlier. It was worth the risk, and she was going to take the chance. Her decision made, she took a deep breath before steeling herself. "Maru…I know this is a little soon and surprising, but, I have feelings for you. Feelings that extend past friendship. I've had them for a few years now, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm fine if you don't necessarily reciprocate my feelings, but I would hope we can at least be friends."
Her confidence waned at the end, but she forced herself to meet Shikamaru's gaze. Not allowing herself to waver, she awaited his response as silence was her only greeting after the confession. Minutes felt like hours as Sakura waited. Fear gripped her at the thought of possibly losing her friend, but a stronger sensation of relief for being honest outweighed the dread. She was surprised when a slight smirk appeared as Shikamaru took his time watching her. A sliver of annoyance ticked inside her at his obvious delay in reaction that she was starting to believe was purposeful.
Sensing Sakura's annoyance, he decided he had made her wait long enough. "I know, Kura."
The use of her nickname caused her to blink as she registered his own admission. Confusion filled her as she wearily observed him. Was she really that blatant in her displaying her feelings for him throughout the years? She was sure she had done a good job of keeping it under wrap unless…
"Temari told me. That night we talked, she revealed she had spoken to you and you confessed your feelings for me. Although I couldn't believe her until I heard it from you."
A few curses flitted through her mind as she distinctively recalled that conversation with Temari. Not knowing if she should thank the woman for her preparing Shikamaru for her confession or possibly challenge her to a battle in order to take out her anger for revealing her feelings. Her thoughts distracted her from the realization that Shikamaru never responded to her confession. It wasn't until she felt his hands take her own that her attention was returned to him.
"Now that I've heard it, there is no reason not to believe her." Reaching for her hands, he raised them to his lips, briefly brushing a kiss on her knuckles. A furious blush erupted on her cheeks, causing Shikamaru's smirk to widen. "I'm also interested in you, Sakura."
The slightly arrogant confession caused her heart rate to quicken as she basked in the realization that Shikamaru reciprocated her feelings. It was unexpected, but not unwanted. Wishing to savior moment, she couldn't help the flicker of fear that appeared. Hesitating to speak, she was surprised by the tightening of their clasped hands. Meeting Shikamaru's serious gaze, she saw a flicker of doubt in his eyes that reflected her own, as he waited for her to speak.
"I'm happy Maru. More than I can express in words at the moment. But, I can't help but question your sudden interest when you've just broken up with Temari." It was a response that he expected. Frowning, he responded. "I understand, Sakura. I didn't notice my feelings for you until that night. It was unexpected and something I didn't realize until you were on the brink of death. Seeing you like that…" His grip tightened, but he forced himself to continue, "I knew then I couldn't lose you. Not like I lost Asuma-sensei." The mention of his former sensei was a sore subject, but Sakura could understand where he was coming from. After all, she didn't know about her feelings until their situation was reversed. Ironic, that it was only through brushes with death that they were able to see how much they cared for one another.
"My confession appears premature after coming out of a relationship, but I don't want to deny what I feel. Especially when we know how fleeting life can be." No longer satisfied with just holding his hand, she freed her fingers, before wrapping her arms around Shikamaru. His musky scent was mixed with the smell of nicotine, and at the moment, she would admit it enticed her. Brushing her lips against his ear, she whispered, "I agree."
Her affirmation was all he needed as he returned her embrace. His arms wrapped around her waist, as he buried his face in her hair. Her feminine scent easily tempting him to never let her go. He couldn't believe that all this time, she was always beside him, but he never realized how much she meant to him until now. Nor could he imagine the comfort her found in her arms. The two sat there, entangled in each other's embrace as minutes seemed to pass. It wasn't long before they unwillingly moved to part, but Shikamaru lazily allowed his arms to remain around Sakura's waist, as her hands were loosely wrapped around his neck. Staring into his brown eyes, she didn't realize the flicker of gold that was hidden in his irises. Smiling at their proximity, she asked, "Where do we go from here?"
Returning her smile, he teasingly replied, "I believe you need to go grocery shopping." The laugh that he was rewarded with made his heart skip as he noted her enchanting expression that appeared to radiate joy.
"True. Would you like to join me?" It was a shy invitation that he did not want to reject, although the thought of being surrounded by villagers as they browsed for groceries had him put out. A part of him wanted to continue enjoying their time alone together, but he would not allow himself to be that selfish. Not yet.
"Only to make sure you are shopping for food instead of medical texts." Sakura smirked as she pushed herself way from Shikamaru. Already missing the warmth that radiated off him. Rising from the sofa, she moved to grab a few items. "You will be too busy cloud watching to pay attention to what I buy."
It was the truth, but he merely shrugged before following after her. "It will be a practice run before we go on a date." The matter of fact tone had Sakura pausing as she glanced at Shikamaru. He was lazily leaning against her doorway, waiting for her reaction. Smiling at him she couldn't help but tease him, "Are you asking me out Maru?"
"Eventually." Rolling her eyes, she grabbed her keys before approaching the door. "You better not wait too long. You never know who might ask me out before then." A slight brow rose at her taunting comment as Shikamaru remained silent. Little did she know he was already planning their first date. Unwilling to reveal his plan just yet, he easily fell into stride with her as the two began to head towards the marketplace. All thoughts about the rogue nin momentarily halted by the budding romance that was slowly blooming between them.