Chapter 7: Anger Does Not Make For a Welcoming Home
A/N: Hello, I'm back and I'd just like to say thank you to the guest who left the comment asking when I would update. I wasn't updating for a reason. You see my story did not appear to be very popular and I was looking to see if anyone would notice if I stopped posting it... So again, thank you to that reviewer! If you do like my story, please don't hesitate to review, I update much more willingly if people do that!
"Where have you been?!" Kagome had never before seen her father that angry. His face was red and the veins on his forehead were standing out.
"I was out for a walk." Kagome replied, careful to keep her voice calm. What she wanted was nothing more than to go to sleep. Crying always left her exhausted. But she could not dare say anything for fear of angering her father more.
"How many hours does it take for you to walk?!" If her father was angry before he was livid now. "You were gone for far longer than a mere walk should take! Did you know that Kouga has been by three times now? I was forced to tell him you were taken with a headache and resting!" Kagome looked up at him and decided to stay silent as her father continued.
"There was no note from you, no one could remember the last time they saw or who they last saw you with! You could have disappeared completely for all I knew!" Kagome saw a hint of worry break through the fury in her father's face and suddenly realised the reason for his anger.
The Magpie was back and then she disappeared without reason, except she came back more quickly than her mother had. But something made Kagome think. She wanted to go back to the Magpie's village. She had lost track of time that day and hadn't realised how many hours had passed before Sango had returned her home. What if she went next time and stayed until it was late at night. It would be too dangerous to even try and venture home once it got dark.
"Don't ever disappear again!" Her father's voice cut through her thoughts once more. "Do you realise how afraid I was you weren't coming home?!"
"I'm tired," Kagome interrupted, lifting a hand to her forehead. "It was a long walk and I find myself feeling faint." She trailed off as her father gave her a strange look.
"You're acting strange," he said slowly. "You know, you're mother was quiet when-"
"I was not stolen by the Magpie!" Kagome after all had not been kidnapped; she had gone more or less willingly. That did not count as being stolen in her books.
"Are you sure?" her father looked at her suspiciously.
"Yes, I am sure." Kagome was beginning to get fed up and honestly did want to go to her bed.
"I suppose," her father's voice was quieter. "Perhaps you should sleep, you are looking quite pale." Kagome stood and walked past him to reach the door.
"Why does everyone say that?" she whispered at the wrong moment and her father happened to hear her.
"Who is everyone?" he asked, her eyes narrowing.
"No one," Kagome replied innocently, silently cursing herself for speaking aloud.
"Were you with someone on this walk?"
"Oh, a new friend of mine. She also mentioned that my complexion was looking a little off." Her father did not look convinced so she decided to continue. "We walked along the first path in the forest and there was a fallen tree so we decided to sit and talk. We were so similar and lost track of time as we talked. I had not realised the hour until noticed how low the sun sat in the sky." Her father looked slightly more comfortable and appeared as if he was going to let her go.
"I had not realised that you had made a new friend," he leant back in his chair once more. "I would like to meet her one day. It is not often that you speak of a companion."
"Well," Kagome stalled beginning to think of all that could go wrong with her lie. "I am afraid that that would be difficult, father."
"But why?" her father asked, his lips tightening once more. "Is she not…respectable?"
"No of course not! She merely…" Sango flashed through Kagome's mind. "It is unfortunate that she does not live in this village. Today was her last day here and that was why we talked for longer than usual."
"I had not heard of a visitor," her father said, suspicious once more.
"We only have been talking about her amongst us younger girls," Kagome said hastily as her father nodded. He knew that there was a gap between the conversations between him and his daughter's.
"And she is gone now," he clarified.
"Yes, most definitely gone." Kagome nodded her head furiously to further prove her point. "Never coming back."
"Never?"
"Well never might be a bit of an exaggeration…" Kagome felt well and truly lost. It was more difficult than you thought, being vague. "She may come back, she wasn't certain. She hasn't any family here."
"Then what was her purpose in coming?"
"The forest!" A burst of inspiration hit Kagome. "Her parents have spent thousands sending her for proper schooling and she chose nature as her main study. The forest here is known for its abundance in species of flowers. She made a trip here for a school project and, after making many friends, is considering returning for another visit. She thinks it may be unlikely though." Kagome held her breath as her father nodded in understanding.
"Well," he began slowly. "If she does ever return, it would be polite to invite her for supper. I would have preferred it, Kagome, if you had allowed me to meet her this time round."
"Of course father, if I ever see her again I will most certainly take her to see you quicker than a dog can bark!" Kagome said in mock eagerness and her father gave a small chuckle.
"Quicker than the sun as it offers light," he contributed and Kagome felt relieved as he acted more normal.
"Quicker than it takes your word to meet my ear," she said, continuing their game.
"Quicker than it takes you to eat a cake." Her father laughed again, louder this time and didn't notice as Kagome's smile slipped. She didn't like being criticized. Being teased was one thing but she could hear the underlying statement in her father's joke. She did enjoy sweet delicacies but she had been proud of her self for restraining her love. Kagome felt that her father's tease was stretching the rope too thin and a streak of cruelty pulled itself into her mouth.
"Quicker than it takes the Magpie to steal silver," she said coolly, watching her father for his reaction. His laughter diminished instantly and his eyes met hers with a similar frost. The stare lasted for what felt like several minutes before Kagome rose, her gaze never leaving his.
"If you will excuse me father." Her voice felt stiff in her mouth. Cold and unrelenting. It tasted like metal and she fought the urge to spit in order to be rid of the taste. "It was a long walk and I am tired." Her father made no reply and instead, turned towards the window. Kagome felt a strange pull in her heart as he broke their gaze for it felt like he was pulling away from her. The contact their eyes had held had been a strand connecting the two, and with a mere motion he had broken it. They had been boats attached at the same dock, and Kagome had just been cut loose.
'You should expect him to be angry,' she scolded herself as she made her way to her room. 'What you said to him was not just mean, it was spiteful. It is too much for you to want him to forget it all and act as if it never happened.' Kagome considered for a moment walking back into the room where her father sat and offering an apology. But something made her continue on the way to her bedroom. She did not want to apologize for what she said. It felt like she was apologizing for Inuyasha's existence.
"In fact," she huffed quietly. "Inuyasha should be the one apologizing to my father!" She opened her bedroom door with a little more force than necessary and shut it in a similar manner. "After all, he is the main cause of this mess." After that Kagome decided forgetting the Magpie could be a good idea and went to sit in front of her mirror.
She looked at her looking glass for a long time, her face stiff and unmoving. Eventually, she raised one hand and gently stroked her reflection's cheek.
"You're not lonely are you?" she asked softly, looking herself in the eye. "You don't want any of the things people try to give you. You are happy with the way things are." That was what Kagome had told her father. That was what Kagome had told Inuyasha. And that was what Kagome was telling herself.
But there was a small niggle of fear inside the depths of her heart. There was a faint thought that, perhaps, she did want company. She did want friends and she did want love. Desperately. But she didn't want the friends and love that her home provided. They weren't enough.
Staring at her face, Kagome allowed her grip on the niggle to slip. She allowed the niggle to grow into a doubt, the doubt to grow into a worry, and the worry grow into a fear. She allowed it to tell her what she really wanted.
Which was love. Proper love. Love that was not hidden behind walls and bars like her father's. Love that was not disappearing as time went on like her mother's. But love like the ones she read about. Love that would cause someone to give up their life for her. Kagome wanted a friend who would listen to her every trouble, no matter how dull and tedious it was. But not just a friend. For it suddenly hit Kagome. What she had been against, and complained of to others was something she wanted most.
Kagome wanted a husband. She wanted to get married and live her life in a marriage that her parent's had never experienced. But she did not want Kouga. Kagome wanted a husband who she could have an interesting conversation with. One that would never be boring and would think the same of her. She wanted a husband who could irritate her and make her angry in minutes. Kagome wanted a husband she could fight with and still love just as much when it was over. Kagome wanted someone she loved.
But that was unrealistic. Her father would never allow her to leave the village if not with a suitable male escort. And he would not let her do that if she was not married to the suitable male escort. So there was no chance of Kagome ever getting anywhere if she were not married. And the reason the need to get somewhere was to be married. Kagome groaned and pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead. She was doomed to live the rest of her life in the small, insignificant village she had grown up in. The pounding of Kagome's head was beginning to become a proper headache and she prepared for bed carefully. As the sky became stained from dark blue to black as Kagome slipped beneath her bed sheets and fell asleep with the dream of an impossible life.
When she next opened her eyes, Kagome noted the height of the sun in the sky and realized her father must have let her sleep. It was nearly noon and usually, a maid would have woken her hours earlier. Kagome was unsure of whether to be grateful of this or worried her father merely wished not to see her.
Hurriedly, she got dressed and made her way downstairs, entering the eating room as the servants prepared for lunch. A maid came up, still balancing a plate of food and curtsied slightly to Kagome.
"Your father is in his study," she said quietly. "He asked for you to see him when you had risen from bed."
"Thank you." Kagome nodded and walked down the hall a little ways more. She knocked on the only door painted red and waited a little until she heard her father call her in.
She entered the room and winced as she noticed his stuffed wolf in one corner. It was her father's pride and joy. He and his friend had been on a small hunting trip, just the two of them, and had come across the largest wolf they had seen. Her father, having his rifle ready loaded, had shot the creature first and carried it proudly back to the village.
It swiftly became well known as "the canine bear" in reference to its impressive weight. It was an animal far too spectacular to merely use as food and Kagome's father had taken a week-long trip to Tokyo in order to get the beast properly preserved. Ever since then it had sat beside his desk, its lips pulled back into a permanent sneer and its eyes staring dully at nothing.
The wolf had never bothered Kagome before but looking at it then she was reminded of the time she had spent after leaving the Magpie's clearing. The forest had been far too…alive then, the wolves included.
"Ah, Kagome," her father spoke but kept his eyes on his papers. "I trust you slept well?"
"Indeed," Kagome inclined her head gracefully. "I feel in much better health this morning."
"I am glad."
Kagome disliked their conversation. It was far too polite and cold for her liking. She and her father were supposed to be joking. Eventually, her father looked up and their gaze met. Kagome could see the apology in his eyes and was relieved by it. He was asking for a truce. To not mention the conversation they had had the night before. She responded by holding his gaze and he gave a smile which Kagome returned after a moment's hesitation.
She took a seat in the front of his desk and positioned herself so that her back was facing the wolf.
"Do you have much work to do?"
"A little," her father replied, gesturing towards his stack of papers. "But it is nothing too unbearable. I shall be done before we are called for lunch."
Kagome touched the heap gently. "It does not look like so little it can be finished that soon."
"It could be finished sooner but I fear it is too dull for me," he said, returning to his writing. The hand that wrote began to speed, scratching its way across the paper and Kagome could tell that he was happier. He was pleased she was being kinder to him.
"Yes," he began again, looking up and meeting Kagome's smile. "I am a person intended for adventure!" He began to laugh at his jest and Kagome forced herself to join.
"If you will pardon me," she said suddenly, breaking into his mirth. "I must prepare myself more for the day." All of sudden Kagome had felt the urge to leave. She did not want to hear her father speak of adventure. It sounded such a mundane word coming from his lips. Somehow, her father managed to make even adventure sound so….ordinary.
"Of course you must," her father agreed. "After all, Lord Kouga will be joining us as we eat." Kagome froze on her way out the door.
"And may I ask why?" she asked, her voice steady and still.
"We are to begin discussing your wedding," her father answered, watching for her reaction warily.
"Of course." Kagome sighed and left the study, shutting the door silently behind her. She remained still, leaning against the wall and wondered if she could pretend to suddenly fall ill. But it would be to no avail. Kagome had missed her breakfast and, having not eaten the night before, was starving.
"A wedding would be nicer in the summer do you not agree my Lady?" Lord Kouga was speaking with his mouth filled with food once more and Kagome could not bring herself to look at him. Roast rabbit was not her favourite dish as it was, but she especially disliked it when viewed in another's mouth.
"A wedding is a wedding no matter the season," she replied, her eyes firmly fixed on her plate.
"June is a month named after the Ancient Greek goddess of love," Kagome's father broke in, smiling at Kouga and his daughter. "Would it not be most romantic to be married then?" Kouga nodded eagerly but Kagome looked up in thought.
"But then, would it not be an insult to the goddess if her month were to be used for a loveless marriage?" she asked, her gaze switching between the two men.
An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room as everyone was reminded of Kagome's aversion to the marriage.
"Perhaps not then," muttered Kouga, staring abjectly at his fork.
"A winter wedding then!" Kagome's father remained jovial and ignored his daughter. "It would be most unusual, and could be quiet stunning if done correctly." But it was no use however hard he tried. The cheerful mood from earlier had been banished and the rest of the meal was eaten in silence.
Kouga stayed with Kagome, despite her many hints, for the rest of the afternoon and his slow conversation made her long for Sango and her quick fire responses. Eventually though, Kouga announced that it caused him great sorrow, but he must leave Kagome for another day. Kagome had to work desperately to keep her smile under control.
After a thankfully quiet supper Kagome went to bed, quite exhausted by the hours spent smiling falsely. She lay for a moment in the dark wondering what Sango, Miroku and the Magpie would be doing. Well, she was mostly thinking about Sango for she held no interest in the Magpie and she could easily assume the pastimes of Miroku.
She wondered if the three were having an adventure. The word that sounded so wrong when used by her father brought a smile to her lips then. Adventure suited them perfectly. The Magpie and his crew were adventure.
Just as Kagome's eyes were beginning to shut a sudden noise sounded outside her window. A few seconds later it came again. And again! It was a peculiar rattle and Kagome sat in her bed waiting once more. Yes! There is was! Kagome looked towards her drawn curtains. Because the rattle had sounded suspiciously like pebbles.
A/N: I hope that this chapter makes up for the wait... See you next Friday!
Next chapter: Appearances May Be Deceiving
-DarkAsTheNightSky