The kids' excited shrieks as their home came into view woke Sakura up from her sardine tight nap. The pink haired girl grunted, pushing Neji away and wriggling from underneath Sai's bony little butt. Just as she managed to gain conscious recognition of where they were, she screamed: Gaara had leapt out the window.

"I was wandering how long he'd hold out," Neji laughed. "I actually expected the boob to jump out as soon as we came in sight of the street."

"What?" Sakura asked, and the Goth boy pointed out the window. Gaara had run up to the Hatake household, but rather than wait for the others to arrive and open, he jumped through the side fence into the backyard and disappeared.

"Now he'll jump over the fence, dash across the neighbor's yard, flee for his life from Orochimaru, jump into his backyard and dive idiotically into the red sandbox in his yard."

"At least we fit better in the car now," Sai smiled, "We should've throw that raccoon out the window ages ago."

***

Ino jumped on top of her suitcase in a futile attempt to clamp it shut. "These are the times where Neji and Gaara make their selves useful… Jiraiya!"

The man peeked through the door, "Yes?"

"You're fat. Sit on my suitcase so that it'll close."

"I am not fat! I am a powerfully built, robust man with great musculature."

"All flab, no abs… Now sit on my suitcase."

***

"As a special treat for Sakura-chan's last night with us, I made my special dumpling casserole with every sort of meat imaginable and cheese," Shizune smiled, placing a gigantic bowl of cheese covered casserole in front of them. Sakura laughed nervously as she stared at the questionable looking dish.

It is my last day here… and Shizune means well…

"Shizune, are you trying to kill the child?" Kakashi asked dully.

"I am offended! My casserole is delicious- everyone loves it!"

*Quiet murmurs*

"Well," Gaara said, "If no one's gonna eat it- I will."

"Damn it, where'd you come from?" Lee snapped. "I thought I'd locked all the windows as well as the back door!"

"Front door, bushy brows," the red head grinned. "Now, bring on the meat and cheese!" However, just before he could scoop the 'casserole', Akamaru bounded onto the table, Chouji clinging to his back, and both cat and dog dived into the cheesy meat, splashing everyone around them.

Kakashi stood, dripping cheese, and picked up the phone, "Pizza it is."

***

Ino finally came down the stairs. She'd been surprised, as she dressed, to find that, despite being thrilled at finally heading over to see her family, part of her felt sort of sad about leaving the Sannin's behind. Sure the past two weeks had been… difficult, tedious at times, insane almost always, but also fun.

Jiraiya and Tsunade stood at the foot of the stairs waiting for her. Sasuke and Naruto stepped out of the kitchen, as soon as they saw Ino they hid whatever they were holding behind their backs.

"Well kid," Tsunade smiled, "The limo's here. I've gotta say you are one strong gal for looking like such a toothpick."

"What?" the girl asked, confused.

"You survived two weeks with us," Jiraiya grinned.

"We wanted to show you something before you left," Naruto appeared next to Ino. He looked at Sasuke and the black haired boy pulled from behind him a macaroni and Popsicle stick picture frame: in it a picture of both boys holding a smiley faced egg, which rested on…

"Is that my bra?!"

"Yep," the boys smiled. "It had looked so small at first, but then it turned out to make an excellent crib for Bob Uzumaki Uchiha Sannin the Fourth.

"Am I to assume I'm not getting it back?"

"We'll mail it to you after Bob hatches," Sasuke explained as he and Naruto walked alongside Ino towards the limo. Behind them, Jiraiya had been forced to carry the girl's luggage, and it looked like it hurt. They children handed Ino the picture, she took it, placed it inside the car, and hugged them. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'll miss you two- I mean, three," she added with a giggle, pointing at the egg in Naruto's hands.

Then she was in the car and waving goodbye as it drove off.

"Ah!" Naruto slapped his forehead, "We forgot to give her gum back!"

"What?" Tsunade bent over, peering down at her son.

The seven year old ran into the house and after a few moments returned carrying a soccer ball sized ball of gum… used gum.

"Ew Naruto, what the hell is that?!" Tsunade recoiled.

"Ino's gum…" the boy replied sheepishly. "She chews a lot of gum, and she always ended up sticking it somewhere, so after she'd leave, me and Sasuke would un-stick 'em and we put 'em all together cause we were gonna give 'em to her as another goodbye present… but we forgot…"

"We could mail it…" Jiraiya said.

***

A wave of hugs nearly drowned Sakura as she stood on the doorway. Even Sai was there, showing, to Sakura's intense amazement what looked like sadness at her departure! When she finally managed to resurface, and after gasping for oxygen, she smiled at them. "I'll miss you guys. Ten-Ten I gave you my email so we can keep in touch. Oh, one more hug won't kill me." And there was another avalanche of kids on top of her.

"The car's here," Lee peeked out the window. "Dang! I'm gonna swap places with someone if it means I'll get to ride a limo!"

"Don't tempt us Lee," Kakashi said, "Or we just might move while you're gone."

"Aaaahh!!! I'm gonna miss you so much!" Gaara nearly knocked Sakura down when he rushed to hug her; he nearly squashed her in the act. "Cant… breathe… Thank you for releasing me… Aw, Gaara, I didn't know you cared that much."

"I'm not taking to you Sakura… though I'll miss you too."

"Then who…?"

"Your ginormous boobs." He whispered: "Look around, there's not much to see around here, so your mega boobs were a sight for sore eyes."

Ten-Ten punched his head. "Idiot."

"But your sister had bigger boobs that me."

He shuddered, "She should join a convent! And wear those super conservative Arab clothing!"

"No she shouldn't!" Neji snapped red in the face. Then he turned around and snuck into his room.

"Anyway…" Gaara continued, "I got you a present."

"Who? My boobs?"

"No, I couldn't find something that would fit Bonnie and Clyde, so I had to settle for getting you something." He pulled out from his pocket a little box with a pink bow.

"Aww, what is it?" She opened it to find a little keychain connected to a tiny bottle filled with sand and what looked like a diminutive beach ball and a flip-flop.

"The sand comes from my sandbox, because sandbox sand is so much cooler than crappy beach sand."

Sakura hugged him, waved goodbye to the rest of the family, got in the car, and left.

The Meeting:

sSakura Sannin and Ino Hatake sat across from each other in a weird, rustic- antique looking room. They introduced one another and Sakura gestured to Ino that she might go first.

"Well, your family is insane," the blond began, "Your mom can be scary as hell; your dad's a perv and your little brother… I think he's got mental issues… still I can't say I didn't have fun with them. So what'd you think of my family, Sakura?"

"Shizune seemed very nice, a little stuffy and over mothering, but still very nice… Um, your dad's been wearing a weird mask thing for the past two weeks…"

"Yeah, he was wearing that since before I left. What about the brats? Did Sai cause much havoc?"

Sakura sighed. "That child… is the spawn of the devil. He made us drive seven hours-"

"To go to Schitterbahn? He does that often. Dad once threatened that one of these days he'd just dump Sai at the park's entrance and drive off… Though he said the same about Lee… and me and Neji… He never complains about Shino or Hinata… Of course, Hina's mute so-"

"Oh no, she isn't. Hinata spoke, rather shouted, a few days after I'd gotten home."

"And I missed it? Crap, what the hell made her speak?"

"My brother."

"But… Naruto was over in Orlando…"

"She saw a picture of him and thought he was hot."

Ino shuddered, "Ew… That may be the third creepiest thing I've ever had to picture in my life… A seven year old checking out someone…"

"What are the other two?"

"The first one involves my parents… let's just leave it at that… The second one, I actually had to witness. Itachi-"

"Oh how is he? I missed him so much!"

"So he's your friend?"

"Boyfriend."

"Um… then he's cheating on you-"

"WHAT?!"

"-with Kisame… I saw them making out… He's gay. Ever since I met him, he made it perfectly clear that he was gay and in love with Kisame. At first I didn't believe him. Then I thought he said it to avoid me… but then they made out in front of me… I'll never be the same person again…"

Sakura's eye twitched.

Sakura's Video Diary: I'll K-I-L-L him! I'm going to kill him! Hell, I'm killing them both!

"We'll it was nice meeting you," Ino smiled after they'd talked a while longer. "Same here," Sakura nodded.

"I can't wait to go home and see everyone- even Gaara…"

"Heh, heh, neither can I… Though I might murder someone… Well, bye."

Back Home

Hatake

The Hatake's received Ino. For the first five minutes everything went perfectly. There were hugs, kisses, and glee.

Then Sai arrived… yanked at Ino's hair and chaos returned.

Kakashi sighed, "Not even ten minutes… that's all I ask for: ten minutes of peace…"

"Alright everyone, calm down," Shizune tried to appease them. "It's just a rough cut, but production gave us a copy of some of Ino's days in Florida. Let's see it. Huh?"

No one seemed interested.

Hinata meekly popped from behind Shino, "M-Mommy… Will Sakura's brother b-be in t-the t-tape?"

"She does speak!" Ino cried.

"I guess," Shizune answered. "Why do you ask?"

The little girl went behind her siblings and started pushing them towards the house. "Move it! We have a tape to watch!"

Sannin

"Sakura!" A blond blur sped out of the house, ramming his sister and nearly knocking her down. Tsunade and Jiraiya peered out the front door but before they could step outside, a tall, black haired blur knocked them aside, "Sakura!"

The girl received her brother with a hug and a smile. Then she turned to the tall Uchiha bouncing behind Naruto and punched him.

"That's my girl!" her father whooped from the porch, "Finally! Finally she's going to dump him! I thought the day would never come! But it did! Finally my daughter, the child of my loins, has realized that the Uchiha punk sucks!"

"Since when do you hate Itachi?" Tsunade asked.

"He's sixteen!"

"Uh-huh…?"

"She's thirteen!"

"So…?"

"He's a pedophile!"

Tsunade smacked him. "I'm seven years older than you. What does that make me?"

"A sexy pedophile," he grinned. The woman shrugged and walked outside. "Sakura, I know the boy's acting like an idiot, but he's just happy to see you. Why do you hit him?"

"He cheated on me!"

"WHAT?!" Tsunade and Itachi cried at the same time. Out of nowhere, Tsunade pulled out Naruto's baseball bat. "You cheated on my daughter?!"

"No I didn't! Sakura where the hell did you get that idea from!"

"Ino told me! You cheated on me with Kisame!"

"No I didn't!" He waved his arms frantically.

"You were making out with him!"

"Because if I didn't Ino would rape me!"

"Excuse me…? Back up. Rewind and explain."

"I had to make her think I was gay or else she'd have raped me!"

"Oh, okay." Sakura smiled sweetly. "But if you ever do cheat on me, I'll-" she whispered something in his ear and he jumped back with a yelp, "Where did you come up with something so evil?!"

"A four year old named Sai told me he planned to do that to his brother's best friend."

"But- But you won't do that to me, right. I love you," Itachi gave her the puppy dog eyes.

"Not if you don't cheat on me."

"I'll never cheat on you!"

"Good boy... Kisame?"

"Watching you two's more entertaining than cable," the blue haired boy smiled. He was sitting next to Naruto and Sasuke, eating popcorn.

Itachi stared at his friend. "Where'd you come from? And what's with the popcorn?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah cause you weren't here before… and why do you have a bowl of popcorn?! It's just weird."

"Geez. This is a fanfiction! Anything can happen. For all you know, I could sprout magical fairy butterfly wings and fly off into the sunset. And yet you two are worrying about why I have popcorn."

Booming Voice from Above (Me) XD: Kisame! How dare you reveal my secret! Now, for telling everyone this is really a fanfiction, you can kiss your shark powers goodbye, for now and forever, mister!"

"Ah! I'm sorry!" Kisame cried.

"Yeah well too late. Naughty fish boy!"

Kisame slumped gloomily on the ground. "This sucks."

"Does anyone else have anything to say?"

The others shook their heads frantically.

"Okay, heh, heh. We'll I guess this is the end. Goodbye! ^.^"