AN: Phew the next chapter at last... no I didn't wait for 100 reviews but I had a slight plot revelation and so - you get an update!

Warnings: The author advises viewers the following chapter has sexual references and advises viewing by mature audiences... plus bad language BUT Harry's NOT gay. I will explain better in the next authors note... now go read the story...

Harry tsked silently, a smile crawling its way up his cheeks. He would say it was predatory, the smile of the true hunter he had become, but really, it was mischievous and not that he would ever address the issue in his mind, but he was glad to see Draco, missed one of the most playful parts of his childhood.

He moved silently to stand over Draco, held his breath as he slowly eased the wand from his grip, placing it in his own pocket before becoming more risqué and ever-so-carefully easing himself to straddle Draco's lap. The sleeping boy didn't even move, he simply continued to drool on – Harry almost wished he had a camera.

He sat there longer, trying to think of the most creative way to wake his old nemesis, finally he settled on blowing up Draco's lolled back nose. For an experienced soldier the word childish crossed his mind a nefariously low/nonexistent amount of times.

The mischievous grin nearly cracked his face in half as he blew the quick gust of air up Draco's nose, causing the blond to snort and awaken immediately… throwing his head forward in the process, right into the nose of a giggling Harry, thereby leaving a feeling of a metaphoric face quartering. Things went downhill pretty quickly after that.

"Fucking bastard! Will you lay off my nose?!" A now very disgruntled Harry demanded of the teen beneath him as he pressed a hand to his smarting nose, his eyes streaming. Draco was still having trouble computing – sleep, not sleep, breath funny, wake, bang, ow – person!, alive – ok, trapped – not ok… WAND WAND WAND WAND WAND.

There was no longer a wand to be found on his person of course.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.

'Like a muggle' could have been thrown in there… but it was too undignified. Draco meanwhile was making a very 'dignified' attempt to rid himself of the man pinning him down, once he recognised what that man was saying to him – more importantly the fact that it was not some man, but in fact, bloody Potter – all dignity left his mind, because if there was one bastard in the whole wide world Draco Malfoy wanted to lay fists on – it was Harry Potter.

"Don't fucking bastard me Potter!" Draco yelled, managing to slam a fist into the jaw of a rhinologic-ally distracted Harry, "You're the damn son of a mudblood whor-"

THWACK – there was an answering fist on Draco's jaw.

And it was on. On like Donkey Kong…

"Slut" Draco, compensating and irritated at being interrupted, finished. Both boys continued to grapple, trying to score hits to each other's faces… but seeing as both knew where the other was trying to hit… well both were defending rather well basically.

At the same time however, Draco was trying to throw Harry off of his hips, and gain the upper hand, while Harry was trying to force Draco to the ground, so that he could actually manoeuvre some punches. Seeing and all as they had both managed to lock themselves sitting against a stone wall, they were at a bit of a stalemate.

Well no, they were grappling like idiots but Harry couldn't move back without unpinning Draco… and Draco simply physically couldn't move back… so logic said they would have to reach a stalemate, or exhaustion… but they seemed prepared for neither.

A misdirected punch from Harry caught the collar of Draco's robes, ripping them well off his shoulder. He laughed out loud at the look of infuriation that passed over Draco's face at the destroyed robes.

That was when things started to get childish… childisher.

Draco pushed at Harry and managed to get a grip on his robes, smirking in a self satisfied way as he heard the tear. It shut Harry's laughter up and they were back to grappling again, they were also back to trading insults. Nonsensical things really – ranging from blood, to friends to basic intelligence. Never mind that both had racked up 3 years out-of-school life experience, they seemed to be going over every insult from their schooling career, without flow, without even real meaning. It all just seemed to work its way into the pent up frustration that the pair of them had always wanted to fight out.

Course, in all of their fighting ideals they had probably imagined much more wand involvement, more of an audience – public humiliation for the loser (the other) and well… just generally something more becoming, more wizard-like…. even just less retarded would be a start.

Alas, fate had decided they were to fight like talking tulips, banging heads and trading insults. A truly ludicrous imagery, just like the pair of them.

Harry eventually proved the darker wizard though, "At least Voldemort only killed my mother; she never had to 'kneel' for the dirty bastard. Doesn't it bother you that you still serve the monster that fucked your mother to death?"

Draco, momentarily, proved the stronger but the vicious strike across his face and the shove that sent him sprawling back on the floor barely compared with his own shock. He hadn't meant to say it, he knew no body else knew, the vision and subsequent 'disappearance' of Narcissa Malfoy had left him reeling for days. He had never told anyone what actually happened to her though and he certainly never meant to tell Draco, he didn't deserve it, it was too painful.

Their positions reversed, Harry was prepared to let Draco pummel him, because it wasn't fair and he really was sorry but Draco looked sick. He was white and shaking with repressed something, he grasped the front of Harry's robes in his fist and slammed him harder into the floor.

"Liar" his voice was deadly, hard emotions not risking it above a whisper and Harry wouldn't tell him no, because he was sorry, because Draco didn't deserve that pain.

He just wanted Draco to hit him now. He'd been thrown into a maelstrom of emotions, and he was sorry, and he wanted to help but he had no idea how to. Harry hadn't had to try and deal with anything that wasn't physical for a long time, though even back when he had he was only slightly better then a teaspoon, otherwise known as Ron.

Draco looked like he was about to say something though, Harry couldn't cope, he'd never regretted saying something so much in… well ages really… but he didn't know how to fix it. So he did the only thing he could think of to stop the words coming out of his mouth – it had always worked with Ginny.

A frozen Draco could not think to move his head. Potter stopped and lay his head back again, his eyes were hopeful. Draco reared back, infuriated, thoroughly confused by the look Potter was giving him because although the teen had become many things, Draco was damn sure that wasn't one of them.

"What have you become Potter?" he asked quietly derisive. Too tired to fight him anymore, Draco pushed him into the ground one last time before retreating back to his wall. Harry watched him go, strong abdominal muscles allowing himself to rise slowly into a sitting position and look curiously towards Draco.

"What haven't I become" he replied with a mirthless chuckle. "You're a rich boy Draco – for enough galleons I'll be anything you want" Harry teased.

"Dead" Draco offered "non existent. Sans. Zilch. Zero. No more"

"Not an option, I'm immortal apparently" Harry replied very matter-of-fact.

"Bullshit" Draco scoffed

"Well hopefully, but I mean bad things happen to people who try to kill me… worse things happen to people who try to save me actually… so go figure. I guess it's just a bad idea to have any sort of feelings for me really." Harry finished simply.

"Oh Harry, Harry, Harry life is so sad. I'll make it all better" Draco drawled, slowly crawling towards him with predatory eyes that changed to red the closer he got, his face morphing into the monstrous snake-like features of Voldemort and Harry just sat there, fighting with all his might to move but he couldn't and then the monster pounced and filth was all over him-

There was a metallic crunching as Harry hit the floor with a thud, he groaned as he felt the sticky remains of his drink spreading across his shoulder blades. He'd had that stupid dream again, which pretty much made it close enough to the 25th time he had fucked Draco. It was always the same, starting out as their first re-meeting and then deteriorating into a sort of role played version of Narcissa Malfoy's last moments, except sometimes he was Voldemort instead, and when he got to know Draco better and he found out about what had been done to him by deatheaters, sometimes Harry dreamt he was one of them and he was hurting Draco.

Funny though because he had always had the slight assumption that Voldemort had something to do with the dreams; never mind that he was good at occulemency and Voldemort had no idea about his relationship with Draco… It was a bit daunting now that Voldemort was dead to have to admit that his own subconscious was punishing him for what he had said to Draco. Also, it was of course terribly stupid considering he had apologised at the time… In fact the real events were a nightmare all of their own which he had thrown right to the back of his occuleded mind – hopefully never to see again because basically what had really happened involved 'war-hardened' 'screw the world' 'couldn't care less about anything' 'no emotion' (etc you get the picture) Harry having a breakdown and crying all over Draco that he was sorry. Which at the time and considering the way things were had started a fairly good relationship between the two. Now however, the fact that Harry had possessed even the slightest amount of real emotion was a completely taboo subject.

"I too, survived the disco era" Phineas addressed him on the floor. He may have been concerned, but he was trying not to laugh.

"Oh shut up Phinny" replied Harry as he dragged himself upright, pulling a face at the portrait before stalking off to the shower. He could hear the man chuckling behind him and he whipped his head around to glare at him, turning the chuckle instead into a rather hacking cough. Harry just raised an eyebrow in challenge then turned into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

His eyes met the range of shower products available to him and he released a small strangled cry.

"Eurgh! Fucking poofter! Lavender, rose and honeysuckle – sure let's use that, then I'll just have to save everyone else the time and kick my own arse! Oh come on there must be something here that smells remotely masculine…" He queried – but there wasn't so instead he resolved himself to simply smell like a girl and fiddle with the wards of his house later so that he could zap the flavour of his shampoo as many times as he darn well pleased.

Being a wizard had perks and he certainly intended to use them.

AN: Ok where to begin... let's start with the issue of Harry not being gay. I got a review that said it didn't like the gayness and I of course sat there and thought - gayness, what gayness? read the last chapter again - oh that gayness right. Anyway my best explanation for this is that my Harry is mentally ill... I really had thought that had come across but perhaps not.

Harry and Draco are friends... not 'friends' I think that was explained in this chapter but you're free to ask questions. Harry making random sexual innuendos and kissing male portraits - that kind of thing - is simply a way to defer attention, a sort of shock value that focuses attention away from 'him'. I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense - but it does (because I say so Muahaha).

Now then, for anyone who hasn't noticed, I have been trying out different, yet all very commonly used methods of getting reviews for the last 6 chapters... call it research if you will.

The results - all tried avenues were fairly useless, though cookies and no more writing threats worked very very marginally better then everything else. So the avenues I haven't tried that I can think of - regularly having decent sized updates and dangling the word hiatus in there. However, both these cannot be used by me because I write as I go, I think as I write and I update when I lose the train of thought basically - which means I update so sporadically there would be no point in saying hiatus because I think unfortunately those that follow my stories are learning that I am always on hiatus... until I update lol.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever looked into "just what is it that makes people review" - I would be interested in the answer they got. Unless they're flaming and think they're going to be funny by saying 'a decent story', I'd like to rule that option out now and refer to them as a common name for a rooster in advance.

Thankyou for your continued story patronage - peace, love, unity etc

Katty xx