The Lady of the Cherry

by Talia

A parody/satire fic written ages ago posted anew as it's probably one of the best things I ever wrote. SPELLING/FORMATTING/DIALOGUE ERRORS ARE DELIBERATE. Plot: The gorgeous princess Sakura Sushiko is being forced to marry Aku, even though she really always wanted to be a samurai. Good thing she happens to meet a samurai that a prophecy had foretold she would wed!

7. Chapter 7

"That's terrible," said Jack, "But you know I love you and I would never make you get married while wearing anything other than a string bikini."

Sakura sighed sadly. "So says someone seeking solace. Such sweet stipulations seem so sound, save substantialities stating spousal sacraments stand so unmanlyly."

"There's nothing unmanly about getting married. Even manly men like the ancient heroes of Greece got married."

"Aye, alack! I cannot love you!" (A?N: DONT WORY P3OPL3 SHES GONG 2 FAL IN LOVE WIT HIM L8R JUST U WATE11!1!1 OMG) she cried with her face raised toward the heavens. "I abhor all traditions assigned to women, and it is not the way of the warrior to love (A?N: TE HE HE IMM SO SLY!11! OMG) another but rather to kill and destroy! No, Samurai- just what is your name? (A?N: WTF LOL PDQ) Nevermind, it is immaterial. I bid you good evening."