Saving Harry

Chapter 7 –

The next day was Christmas Day. Harry spent the entire day lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling trying not to think about anything.

No pain.

No Memories.

Nothing.

Of course he was disturbed by the arrival of a beaming Sirius who had his arms full of presents. Upon seeing the happy grin on Sirius' face Harry promptly rolled over onto his side facing the wall with his back to Sirius.

It had come to light over the last few days that Sirius had been brought back from the Veil to fulfil a task from Lily and James. Sirius himself wasn't sure what this task was and had only been given the words 'you'll know when you see him Siri, you have to re-unite them'. Remus had soon come to the clever assumption that Harry and Severus were the ones that were to be re-united however, this had already begun before Sirius turned up. So what was Sirius doing here if the task had already been fulfilled?

"Come on kiddo!" Sirius cheered. "You've got presents here!" Sirius sat down beside Harry and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Harry violently flinched and squirmed away from Sirius' touch. "What's happened to you Harry?"

"I watched you die." Harry said in a muffled voice.

"I know, I know."

"No you don't." Harry sat up, anger burning in his eyes. "You died Sirius! I watched you! Professor Lupin watched you! I almost cursed Bellatrix! I was almost like him Sirius! Now you're here as if nothing has happened! It was my entire fault! If only I'd been stronger against him, but I've never been strong." Harry whispered.

"You are the strongest person I know Harry!" Sirius protested but Harry was quick to counter it.

"I wasn't strong enough to protect myself from my muggle uncle was I? Or from Barty Crouch Jr.? I'm weak and pathetic and nobody cares about me! "

"I love you Harry, Moony loves you, the Weasley's all love you, Hermione loves you , I'll even bet Snape loves you!" Sirius exclaimed.

"If Snape really cared then he wouldn't have let Crouch..." Harry stopped himself before he said too much.

"Let Crouch do what Harry?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Leave it."

"Tell me."

"I said leave it." Harry growled.

"I don't understand why you are so angry Harry? How badly have you been hurt Harry?" Sirius inquired. "James said I was to help you through something big but he didn't say what."

"You can't imagine what I've been through Sirius." Harry barked standing up and squaring up to Sirius."You know nothing! None of you do,"

"Then tell us!" Sirius cried.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY AND EMPTY PROMISES! I DESERVED IT SIRIUS, EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IS SOMETHING I DESERVE!" Harry bellowed in complete exasperation "I'm a bad person. I always have been and I always will be." Harry collapsed on the floor and began to sob.

Sirius watched as his godson's shoulders rapidly rose up and down as the broken teen desperately tried to control himself. Yes, that was what he was, broken. Sirius was suddenly aware that two pairs of feet had come into the room having heard the commotion from downstairs.

Snape looked at Lupin and then at Sirius, he shook his head and then glided over to be beside his little brother. Snape sat on the floor beside the sobbing boy and took the small frame into his arms and held his head firmly against his chest.

Sirius and Remus then took their leave, deciding it would be best for Snape to just be there as it was him whom Harry had told the most.

"How are you feeling?" Snape asked after he had realised that Harry's breathing was a little less shallow.

"I'm fine." Harry said still in Snape's strong arms and not wanting to let go.

"And I'm a purple unicorn." Snape scoffed and Harry smirked slightly, had Snape just made a joke?

"Just leave it." Harry hissed

"As you wish but mark my words we will talk about this." Snape said coolly,

"But I don't want anyone to know that I can be frightened by a muggle."

"A muggle that has inflicted so much pain on you that you have every right to be frightened, but never ashamed." Snape said looking down at Harry, he knew that in sane mind Harry would not be this close to him but given the circumstances Snape didn't want to compromise it.

"I got what I deserved." Harry sighed,

"No you didn't, why on earth would you have deserved any of that?" Snape was wide eyed with shock, how could Harry say that?

"I've killed so many people," Harry tried desperately to hold back the tears.

"You've not killed anyone." Snape rocked his little brother gently.

"Lily, James, Cedric, Sirius... all those muggles that Voldemort has killed." Harry trailed on but Snape shook his head.

"None of that was your fault." Snape was adamant.

"It was."

"No Harry listen to me, it was not your fault." Snape took Harry by the shoulders and made sure that the boy was looking at him. "None of this is your fault."

Harry looked away and tried to squirm free from Snape's grasp but he was unsuccessful. Harry sighed and knew instantly that all he and his brother were going to do in the next few days or even weeks, was talk about things. Harry hated talking. By talking, Harry increased his vulnerability and he could not stand feeling vulnerable.

"Harry?" Snape prompted but was met by no reply. What was he going to do? He'd spent the last 16 years hating Harry, how could he expect Harry to trust him after the number of times Snape had humiliated Harry in front of his class mates.

"I'm sorry." Harry whispered,

"You shouldn't be, it is me that should be sorry." Snape tried to pull Harry to him but Harry resisted, "I should have come and got you."

"You didn't know." Harry reasoned.

"But I suspected." Snape argued and then sighed, "I've put you through too much."

"I..." Harry began but Snape silenced him,

"I will make sure that you never have to go back there again." Snape said definitely.

"Thank you." Harry said softly before shutting his eyes, he was exhausted.