A/N: Ok, to clear things up for each oneshot, I'll put Valkyrie's age, Skulduggery's form (ie human or skeleton) and the Valduggery status (ie are they dating, not together, married, or whatever).

Valkyrie's age: 23

Skulduggery's form: Skeleton

Valduggery status: Married

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie said sweetly, walking up to where her husband sat in his favorite armchair, reading.

"Yes?" Skulduggery didn't look up from his book.

"You know what I want? Like, really really want?"

Skulduggery put his novel down. He'd heard this one before from his last wife, before she got killed by Serpine. And he knew the answer. "A baby?"

"A dog,"

"What!"

"You heard me. A dog,"

"Are you sure you're twenty-three and not five?" If Skulduggery had a face, his eyebrow would be raised skeptically. He had thought that only little kids begged for puppies. Apparently he was mistaken.

"Pleeeeeeease? I'll feed him and walk him and clean up after him and everything,"

"Why do I get the feeling that you've had this conversation with your parents before? And, more importantly, do I look like a parent to you?"

Valkyrie bit her lip to contain her laughter. "I did ask my parents when I was seven. They said no."

"Why am I not surprised?" he muttered. When she was young, Valkyrie had had five fish and a guinea pig, and they all died within a month of being under her care.

"This is going to be different."

"You know why I don't like dogs…"

"Cause you're a pile of bones," she grinned.

"Exactly. So I would like a little empathy here?"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease?" Valkyrie put on her best puppy face, the one Skulduggery could never say no to.

"Fine," he groaned, giving in. "But give me three good reasons why I should let you."

"Cause, you. Love. Me." Valkyrie grinned triumphantly.

"That's not three reasons!"

"Yes it is! It's three words,"

"That doesn't mean that it's three reasons. That's one reason."

"What about this?" Valkyrie sat in his lap and pressed her lips to his mouth softly.

Skulduggery sighed, surrendering. "You don't play fair,"

She smirked a little. "I know,"

One week later…

"Skulduggery, this is Fang," Valkyrie said, gesturing to the black Labrador puppy at her heels. As soon as he saw Skulduggery, he gave an excited yelp and bounded towards the skeleton.

Skulduggery screamed bloody murder as the tiny puppy chewed on every bone he could reach.

A/N: I know this is totally random, but I felt like writing something happy and lighthearted. Plus, I've always thought that Skulduggery would be paranoid of dogs xD Well it's understandable, but that doesn't stop it from being funny.

The one good thing about insomnia is that I have a lot of time to write lol.

Oh, and, one more thing THIS IS IMPORTANT GUYS!1!ONE!1! (and girls) If you have any ideas please let me know, by a PM or by a review. These can include your OCs =)

Hope you liked it! Reviews are always welcome ^^ Reviews = happy writer = more chapters!