Chapter Six: Dinner Confessions

Kimmy's hand shook, which was rather annoying, as she was trying to apply eyeliner at the time. She was still having trouble comprehending the fact that Jesse had actually asked her to dinner tonight, whatever his reasons. She couldn't believe her luck, finally a chance to spend some time alone with him, without any of his family members present.

Nervously she fiddled with her dress. After trying on numerous outfits she had settled on a dark blue short-sleeved blouse, and a short A-line black skirt. Again neither item of clothing was her usual style, but the last thing she wanted tonight was for Jesse to start criticizing her clothes, and she was determined not to embarrass him at the restaurant, by wearing anything that stood out too much.

Kimmy had spent a long time soaking in the tub, in the main house, as the garage apartment didn't have one. She had carefully shaved her legs and washed her hair. At one stage her father had knocked impatiently on the door, unused to her presence in his bathroom, but being Kimmy she had ignored him.

Mrs. Gibbler seeing the effort her daughter was making that enquired casually whether she had a 'hot' date tonight. Kimmy had been tempted to lie, but knowing her luck her mom would have run into one of the Tanner's. So she had stuck to the truth stating that it was simply a thank you dinner from Jesse, for taking care of his kids.

Kimmy glanced quickly at the clock beside her bed, as a wristwatch definitely didn't go with this outfit, and noted with disappointment that it only read six o'clock. Walking to her closet Kimmy opened it to retrieve a small black evening purse. Carrying it with her, she emptied the contents of her regular handbag onto the bed picking through it to see what she needed to take with her tonight. Her eyes felt on a foil square and with a frown she picked it up, disheartened to realize that unfortunately she wouldn't require a condom tonight. With a sigh she dropped it back on the bed. She did grab the mints though, not because she thought Jesse was going to kiss her, but stinky breath was the last thing she wanted.

Sinking down on the bed Kimmy's mind wandered back to a few days ago – the day of the water fight between her, Nicky, and Alex. She remembered the feeling of Jesse's warm hands on her naked skin, and his firm body against hers, when he had carried her to the paddling pool. She still couldn't believe he had actually done that; it had been incredible. She had made a hasty exit soon after, afraid that her feelings for him were written all over her face. It was unfortunate that she had to shower before dressing, as she was solely tempted never to wash again, but common sense had prevailed.

Unfortunately it was only a matter of time before thoughts of Jesse led her to thoughts of Nicky and Alex, in particular Alex's little face streaked with tears. Kimmy fought back the lump forming in her throat, as there was no way in hell she was going to ruin her eye makeup. Lying back on the bed, she glanced over at the clock again. The numerals read 6.07, boy what a slow moving hour this was going to be!

"Everything looks delicious," Jesse surveyed his meal.

Putting down her fork, she said, "Jesse!"

"Hmm."

Taking a deep breath she said, "I'm not so sure about Dartmouth."

Jesse looked up from his meal, "What do you mean?"

Kimmy shrugged, "I don't know. It's difficult to describe. You know how you think you really want something, but when you get it you're not sure you want it after all?"

Jesse nodded, "I think you are explaining it pretty well so far. Go on."

Kimmy continued, "I remember when DJ was accepted into Berkeley, and I was accepted nowhere, and how bad I felt about my life, and how I thought I had nothing going for me. So I ran off to San Reno to marry Duane, which luckily you and Mr. Tanner talked me out of, as it would have been a huge mistake. Remember how DJ suggested that I go to Summer School, improve my grades, and then apply to the local community college?" Jesse nodded again, but stayed quiet. "Well - I did all of that, and once my college marks started improving DJ was also the one who suggested applying to Dartmouth for my final year. And at the time I loved the idea. All I wanted was to be with DJ, because I had always tried to do everything DJ did, only less well."

"But now you've realized you're not DJ?"

"Exactly, those are DJ's dreams for me, not mine. She keeps going on about how much I'll love Dartmouth, and how I need to take specific courses, and join certain activities, and hang out with her friends, like I'm just some add-on that's going to slot right into her perfect life. And I don't know how to tell her. I love DJ, she's my best friend and she's always looked out for me."

"I think you should explain it to DJ exactly how you just explained it to me."

"I don't want DJ to be disappointed in me."

Jesse reached out, and without even realizing what he was doing put his hand on hers. "She won't be. You know DJ, she may be a little surprised, but if you decide that's your decision, she will understand."

At first Kimmy was too distracted to notice Jesse's hand on hers. "What if she doesn't? Oh I'm so confused, I don't know which is the right choice. What do you think I should do?"

"Kimmy, I can't make that choice for you, no one can, only you. But I will say that I'm very proud of you. You put a lot of work into your studies, and you deserve to be accepted by a decent school." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"You're proud of me – wow!" Kimmy was astonished.

"So is Danny. He mentioned it a few weeks back."

Looking down to hide her slightly reddened cheeks, she was both surprised, and pleased to note their hands were intertwined. "Jesse, what about Nicky and Alex?"

"I don't want you to worry about my boys. There are plenty of other people around for them, as you know. And I've explained again that you will be visiting, and that most people your age go away to college, and they are old enough to accept that. Therefore they shouldn't factor into your decision at all."

Removing her hand from his, Kimmy exploded, "How can you say that? You saw how unhappy Alex was over my leaving."

Jesse was firm, "I mean it Kimmy, you need to leave the twins to me. I'm their father. I realize you care about them, and they care about you, but I don't want them in any way to influence your decision whether or not to go, okay?"

Kimmy was silent for a moment deep in thought. "I'm sorry Jesse … I can't promise that. I know I'm not their mo … um … a relative … or anything, but Nicky and Alex are part of my life – and I can't ignore that."

"Kimmy, you're twenty-one; you have an opportunity to attend a fantastic school, with your best friend. Don't throw it away."

Kimmy sighed in frustration. "All I'm trying to do is look at both sides, before deciding, is all. What happened to, it's my choice – or does that only apply to DJ?"

Jesse shook his head, clearly still frustrated, but in what he hoped was a calm voice replied, "No it doesn't. It's entirely up to you Kimmy. Just promise me that you will consider all the options before deciding? And talk to DJ and lay it all out on the table; let her know how you feel."

"I will speak to her in the morning," Kimmy smiled. "Thanks Jesse, using you as a sounding board really helped."

"You're welcome! Any time!" he said, sparing a piece of potato with his fork.

"What are you doing up here Kimmy?" Jesse was surprised to see Kimmy in his bedroom. "I don't remember asking you to look after Nicky and Alex today?"

Kimmy took a couple of steps toward him, "You didn't. Nicky and Alex are at the park with Mr. T."

Jesse looked at her closely, "Are you wearing one of my shirts?" he exclaimed.

Kimmy continued walking, "Why yes I am. Is that a problem?"

Jesse just gaped at her, "I really don't think you should be dressed like that?"

Kimmy stopped walking, looking perplexed for a second, and then suddenly smiling. "Oh … don't you? Okay then, that's easily solved." And with that said she began to slowly undo the buttons. Jesse could see right away that she was definitely naked beneath the fabric.

"Um, Kimmy, what are you doing?" he backed away, but he didn't appear to moving anywhere, she was still the same distance away.

Kimmy regarded him strangely, "I thought this was what you wanted?" She had just opened the last button.

He shook his head, but at the same time he held his breath as in one sweep she removed his shirt, standing before him gloriously naked.

His eyes stayed on her as she quickly closed the distance between them. She pressed her naked body against him fully, her arms sliding around his neck. Reaching up she whispered in his ear, "I want you Jesse. Take me now …"

Jesse awoke with a start! Sitting up, he attempted to get both his thoughts, and his body under control. Great, he wasn't sure whether this dream was any better than the recurring one he had involving Becky's accident! His body was soaked in sweat, and he briefly wondered whether it would wake anyone, if took a cold shower right now! He sure could use one! Deciding against it, he threw himself back down on the pillows. Unlike the 'Becky dream' at least he didn't feel the overwhelming need to check on Nicky and Alex. And according to Kimmy tonight, it sounded like she wouldn't be attending Dartmouth after all, so his plan to put some distance between them appeared to have failed. It didn't take a dream analyst to work out that maybe his dream was a direct response to that. Jesse groaned, knowing that it would take a lot for him to be able to fall back to sleep tonight!