Seven. Serena.

The rehearsal dinner was going unbelievably slowly, and all Serena wanted to do was leave. It wasn't like she was even going to speak, Lily had prevented that, citing the Debutante Ball as her reason. Serena couldn't argue with that. She wouldn't have had much to say anyway.

But Andrew as best man? He was baked, Serena could tell, the problem was Rufus and Lily couldn't, they were welling up with tears watching him stumble through his speech while trying not to get distracted by his fingernails or the gold braid at the edge of the tablecloth. What was worse was that his speech was frequently punctuated by "dude" and "like" and "totally awesome!"

She glanced across to Dan; he was gazing into his empty scotch glass miserably. She was surprised to see him drinking, even more surprised to see that he held liquor well. It wasn't what she'd expected, but then again, Dan didn't do anything she expected him to anymore. She let her mind drift back to the previous night. They hadn't spoken since but she had been thrown off balance by the subtle shift that had taken place, it was easier to be openly hostile towards someone than this, whatever this was. She thought back to the way they used to be, smiling a little to herself, it was bittersweet for her, to think of it. With hindsight she could tell that it was the only time she'd ever really been happy, or felt good about herself. She suddenly felt dizzy, a little sick, thankfully Andrew finished his speech, and she leant across to tell her mother that she was going out to take a breath of air.

Getting up, she saw Dan get up to, Blair looked to her quizzically, but she nodded to tell her she was fine, she saw Blair's eyes following, not her but Dan, and there was a sort of tenderness about Blair's expression that Serena didn't think she'd ever seen before.

Suddenly she felt like the air was too close, too hot, so she turned away and walked as steadily as she could to the door.

Sitting on the hotel steps, she tried to breathe deeply, and pressed her cold hands against her hot face. Now she was outside she felt much better, but she was freezing in her flimsy dress, she wished she'd remembered . . .

Her cardigan flopped down next to her and was followed by Dan, who wordlessly took a glass of ice and rolled it across her flushed forehead and cheeks.

"Th-thanks." She said shakily, she had been feeling much more clear-headed until he had come out.

He shrugged, took one of the ice cubes out of the glass and crushed it between his teeth, old habits die hard.

His silence disconcerted her; she remembered Blair's expression and paranoia descended on her, whispering half-formed fears in her ear.

"Blair's been weird lately." She said, immediately regretting it when he didn't react, "I don't know, have you spoken to her . . .recently?" she finished lamely.

Now, last year, Dan wouldn't have told Serena immediately, he would've talked it over with Blair, and procrastinated, and prepared Serena for what she was about to hear. Dan knew now that she would find out either way and it was better for her to hear it from him. Besides, although he liked Blair, the honest truth was that he liked Serena more.

"New Years' Eve" he said, "We slept together."

It took a moment for the meaning of these words to hit Serena. She felt winded.

"We broke up on Christmas." She said matter-of-factly.

He was looking at his shoes, the cars, the people walking by, anywhere but at her.

"We broke up on Christmas." She repeated. "We broke up on Christmas."

It was starting to irritate him, "I know." He said, a little too harshly. "It didn't have anything to do with you." He added sheepishly.

"I would say that my best friend and first love fucking five days after we broke up has quite a lot to do with me actually." Her voice was rising, becoming a little more hysterical; pedestrians were looking over, then away from the kitchen sink drama being played out before them.

He moved to stand up, they weren't getting anywhere, he turned and saw Blair, frozen, like a rabbit caught in the headlights, Serena saw his sudden stillness and turned to look at her as well.

She seemed to have forgotten about Dan, she strode over to Blair and stood in front of her for a second before slapping and scratching at her face, screaming words Blair couldn't make out at her.

Serena felt herself being pulled off of Blair by Dan, despite the situation and how much she hated him in that moment, she couldn't help but feel a jolt in her midriff as she felt his arms around hers arms and waist.

Blair had lost all composure too now, "You left him when he needed you! You broke his heart!" she screamed.

"That doesn't make what you did okay!" Serena was straining, trying to get back at Blair.

"No!" A tear slipped down her cheek, she buried her face in her hands for a moment and felt more composed when she started again. "But Chuck had left me. Which still doesn't make it okay. But I was alone and he was alone and you were probably off at some edgy, fashion house party in Milan or Paris or London with some hot, stupid foreign guy and we were both alone."

Serena stopped straining, Dan let go. She realised there was some truth in what Blair was saying, but she couldn't bear for her to be here.

"Leave."

Thankfully, Blair obliged, walking shakily straight into a cab that a woman in a trench coat had just left.

Serena turned to Dan, she saw a glimpse of the old him, he was sorry for what he had done, she could tell by the set of his eyebrows and how he was holding his shoulders.

There was a moment's silence. They looked at each other. There was a sensitivity to her face that he hadn't seen for a long time.

"I love you." She said it without really knowing why, she only said it because it was the truth and she didn't want to lie to him. "But I really wish I didn't right now."