The bus rumbled onward for hundreds of miles before grinding to a halt outside of a glass paned, luxurious looking hotel. Tegan yawned and stretched her stiff arms as she glanced around the cabin of the bus and caught a quick look out the window. Ahh, New York City. Slowly, the passengers of the bus began to bustle about plucking up their belongings in preparation for the several night stay. They were to play two shows in Manhattan with a day off in between; Tegan was grateful. She enjoyed days off the most in cities she was familiar with.
Tegan made her way towards Sara, who was slinging a heavy bag over her shoulder while juggling a bottle of water, a book and an open bag of gummy worms.
"Need some help?"
"I got it. But thank you." She smiled and waited politely for Tegan to lead them both towards the bus door. The sun shone bright against the cement, sending Tegan's hand directly up to shield her eyes as she set foot off the bus.
"Is this where we're staying?" She paused and surveyed the building. "It looks expensive."
"It is," Sara laughed, "It was my request. I love the Cooper Square hotel. The penthouse is amazing."
"And you would know this, how?" Tegan felt herself fluster a moment. Since when did Sara know so much about expensive hotels and penthouse suites?
"Research, Tegan. Research." They headed inside with their bags and made their way to the check in counter. "I wanted to stay somewhere nice on my day off," she explained.
They were shown their rooms, along the 7th floor—boys on the left, girls on the right. They'd always preferred it that way so they didn't have to continually ask each other what their room numbers were. Nothing like having a band-mate knock on your door at three a.m. when they intended it for the person down the hall.
"See you in two hours for soundcheck, right?" Tegan asked. Sara nodded and Tegan closed the door to her room behind her. She decided she had plenty of time to shower, unpack and get ready for the show tonight. It wasn't always lucky enough that they had extra time before shows, so when they did, she was relieved.
Soundcheck went off without a hitch. There was an excitement in the air; being back in New York, and playing at the Bowery Ballroom was always a fun night. They headed back to the hotel afterward.
"I need you guys downstairs at seven. The show starts at 8pm and you'll be on at 9," they were informed by their manager. Everyone nodded and dispersed their separate ways. The boys generally went out for food during this time while the girls usually did their best to catch up on much needed rest.
Tegan wanted to stay away and process the events of the morning over and over before she approached Sara with questions. She wanted to rest assured in every detail, every moment in her mind. Sara's body, her eyes, her touch, her warmth- she was swimming in it; her body was paralyzed as she thought it over.
Sara found herself unable to sleep, despite the soft, plush king size bed in her room. She lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling dissecting the events that had led her to the actions she made this morning. I thought I had this under control… I wasn't supposed to tell her anything. Tegan hadn't reacted the way she had anticipated when she had so freely told her how she felt, thanks to that bottle of red wine the night before. She had been prepared for a fight, for a verbal berating of the worst kind, for name calling and storming out of the room. She had not been prepared for Tegan to kiss her back softly and cup her face to wipe her tears. She had wanted it many, many times but told herself for the longest time that it could not, should not, and would not happen.
For the first time in months, she felt a nagging in her stomach—butterflies, uncertainty, nervousness? She was nervous for this show. She hadn't talked to Tegan about anything and surprisingly, Tegan had not attacked her for information either. In any other situation, Tegan would have clung to her until she gave some sort of indication of what it meant. Sara new exactly how Tegan would be feeling and it made her feel no better for what she'd done.
The show was uneventful, thankfully. It was an easy show with a calm crowd that wasn't overly aggressive toward them. Much to both girls surprise, they didn't have any trouble finding words for each other between songs. Tegan had desperately been afraid that Sara would have been completely silent and forced her to carry the show once again, but she wasn't. Sara even seemed, dare she think it, happy? She seemed to fall into the music, be absorbed in it, and emerge from each song refreshed and grinning at Tegan. They played a short encore set and called it a night. The buzz in the van on the way back to the hotel was fantastic, Tegan thought. She felt electric. She felt alive.
The consensus was that the show was too good not to have a drink afterward. The boys were rowdy and still pumped full of adrenaline and Tegan couldn't deny she felt the same way. She agreed and looked to Sara for her input. "I'll pass, I think," she said quietly, but still smiling.
"Aww, Sara, why?" Tegan made a face and did her best to pout.
"Nice face. I don't know, I just don't feel like going out—I want to stay in and just relax."
The boys meandered toward the door, questioning the concierge about the best place for a beer within walking distance. They were always careful to immediately distance themselves when they thought their might be a disagreement about to happen. Nobody wanted to get brought into it and asked to take sides.
"Come on, Saraaaa, please? Come with us? Just one drink?" Tegan jutted her lip out and batted her eyelashes. "I'll buy!"
Sara laughed, "We make the same amount of money you dink. And, no; thank you, but I'm just not up to it."
Tegan shrugged and turned toward the boys near the front door.
"But hey, come by my room when you get back—ya know, if it's not like four a.m." Tegan grinned and nodded. Sara watched as they excited the building and made their way down the street. She waited until they turned the corner before she went to the elevator. She smiled to herself as she pressed the button and waited for the doors to ding open.
She passed the seventh floor without stopping, removing herself from her position of leaning against the wall only when the elevator dinged for the twelfth floor. The doors slid open to reveal a small hallway, decorated with sleek, modern furniture. She made her way to the single door at the end of the hall and swiped her key.
The room was big enough to be a small studio apartment and had the most magnificent view of the Manhattan skyline she'd ever been able to afford in a hotel room. She had splurged on this room and no one knew it yet. She'd only done this once or twice before—upgrading her room quietly either before or as they were checking in. Sometimes, she just wanted a little more space, or a better view. Sometimes, she just wanted to isolate herself as much as possible. It was a necessary evil she figured, given that at any moment she was surrounded by ten to fifteen people or more. She could relax here.
Tegan and the boys made their way to McSorley's Old Ale House on East Seventh and settled in a booth in the back, ordering a round of drinks as soon as they waitress came over. They clinked their bottles and congratulated each other on a great show, without any technical difficulties, drama, punches or unruly fans—it was a rare occasion to not have a single incident.
Tegan took a long gulp out of her bottle and raised it once again, "And one for Sara!"
The boys followed suit, "For Sara!"
Meanwhile, Sara showered in the luxurious, cave-like shower that had three shower heads on each of its walls. It was one of the reasons she wanted this penthouse. It was like having a waterfall spraying on you from each direction and it felt fantastic. She stayed in the shower much longer than she really needed to, enjoying the way the water played against her skin and how it felt to not have one side of her body be neglected while the other side was being rinsed.
She toweled off and wrapped herself up in the fluffy robe provided by the hotel before settling in on the chaise lounge with a book. She tried to get lost in it so as to forget the time. She didn't want to be waiting up for Tegan for hours, but she couldn't focus enough to read the words and make sense of them. Her mind kept drifting back to this morning. They'd really done it. It seemed so final when she thought about it. It felt thrilling to remember the details until she remembered that Tegan was her sister, her twin, her family and then she felt the pangs of guilt kick in. She couldn't come up with a single reason to justify it if necessary. They'd never been separated more than a week or two at summer camp. It's not like they were fraternal twins, separated at birth that met thirty years later and fell in love. No, it wasn't like that at all.
To her surprise, her phone beeped about an hour and half later with a message from Tegan.
| 12:05am: Leaving the bar now. Still want me to come by?
She waited a few minutes before responding. She didn't want to seem desperate or too eager to see her sister.
|12:17am: Yes.
She could tell how many drinks Tegan usually had by how poorly her spelling was in her text messages—on nights when she stayed gone for hours, the messages were cryptic word puzzles with varying capital letters and symbols, but tonight everything was correct so she figured Tegan was (thankfully), still sober.
Thirty minutes later, her phone rang causing her to jump.
"Hello?"
"Sara! I'm here, why aren't you answering the door?"
"Oh! I forgot. Get back on the elevator…"
"Huh? Why?"
"I booked the penthouse."
"Oh, shit."
"Twelfth floor. Come on up."
Tegan made her way back to the elevator, hitting the button quickly and crossing her arms. What the hell does she need a penthouse for? Does she think she's Beyonce suddenly?
The doors opened and she cautiously entered the hallway, strolling to the door at the end of the hall. She raised her hand to knock but then realized there was a door bell to the left of the door. A doorbell. In a hotel. She shook her head and pressed it.
Sara appeared momentarily, opening the door and letting Tegan pass her. Tegan's eyes went wide looking around the room.
"You have a circular couch… and a doorbell! What the fuck Sara? Are you turning in to a diva or something?"
"Calm down, Tee," Sara said quietly, "I paid for this on my personal card. I'm not using the band's money."
Tegan turned to look at her. "Oh… well, what for?"
Sara shrugged and closed the door. "Just want some space, I guess." She walked over to the windows lining the entire corner of the room, "besides, look at this view!"
Tegan followed her and peered around at the hundred eighty degree view of the Manhattan skyline.
"This is incredible…," she trailed off. It had been dark for hours, but the city still shined—lights twinkling here and there, like little dots of life.
"Look Sara, those lights dance around like you do on stage!" Tegan giggled and looked up at Sara, who was now blushing. "Aww, it's okay! Don't be embarrassed. It's really kinda cute when you do that…"
Sara couldn't keep the flush out of her cheeks, but managed to smile anyway before looking down at her feet.
"I should go change," she whispered, turning away from the window.
Tegan reached out for Sara's hand quickly. "It's okay… you don't have to…"
She paused and turned to meet Tegan's gaze. They stayed that way for a few moments before Tegan looked away and glanced around the room. She hadn't noticed the candles on the tables before, or that the only light on was the lamp near the chaise lounge in the corner. She planned this…
The stain in Sara's cheeks told Tegan the truth without her having to ask.
"Sara… are you sure… about this?"
Sara swallowed any uncertainty she had at that moment. She'd waited this long, and so far she was getting the response she had least expected. She smiled at Tegan, softly, mischievously and reached her hand out to her left and yanked the cord on the lamp. The room went dark with the exception of the candles glowing on the tables about the room and the lights of the city outside the glass.
Tegan's heart fluttered and caught in her throat momentarily as she let go of Sara's hand. She glanced around the room, finding shapes in the dark and familiarizing herself with the room. Sara took a small step closer to her twin, already feeling the warmth of her body radiating toward her. She pulled the sash on her robe slowly, not looking away from Tegan's hazel eyes. She let the robe fall to the floor and stood perfectly still.
She figured, she had made the first move that morning and now she needed to know if Tegan was reacting to the situation, or if she was actually doing what she wanted. She guessed this was as good a way as any to figure it out. Her heart was heavy in her chest both excited at the potential outcome and fearful of being rejected by the one person she felt the closest to in the world.
It only took Tegan a second to take in Sara's body from head to toe and close the gap between them. She approached Sara the same way she approached the microphone on stage—heart thumping, head twisted ever so slightly to the side and careful not to come with such force to knock the mic stand over. Tegan found her lips in the dim light as if they'd done this countless times. Their lips parted. Their tongues danced. Sara licked her bottom lip. She counteracted and bit the younger's lip roughly.
Tegan was shaking. Her face was a mixture of expressions—flushed and full of longing, her pupils dilated and her breathing was labored; but she looked uncertain, and slightly scared. One time, they could possibly write off as a mistake, a bad choice—but twice, that showed intent, desire, want.
Sara cupped Tegan's face, making sure she was looking directly into her eyes. "I want this. I want you…." Sara's voice was husky and low, her breath shaky.
Tegan didn't wait another second.
Her hands gripped Sara's hips and pushed her toward the window, urging her gently to turn around. Sara did slowly and looked out over the city, her back to her sister only moments before she felt Tegan's hands on her again. She watched their faint reflections in the glass, unable to ignore their similarities, as Tegan slid her hands up and down Sara's arms, lightly. Tegan traced her fingers over the back of Sara's neck and across her shoulders, sending chills up and down Sara's spine. Tegan's fingers traced down over the spine of her back, down toward her hips where she gripped them firmly once again. Sara pressed both of her hands against the cool glass and closed her eyes, allowing Tegan to fully explore her body. Tegan slipped a hand around her waist, flattening her palm against Sara's stomach and letting her other hand give Sara a gentle push against her shoulder. Sara's eyes opened, meeting Tegan's fiery hazel eyes in the reflection. She resisted momentarily and allowed herself to bend forward, slowly—her eyes never leaving her sisters gaze in the window.
Tegan's hand once again grazed down her back, pausing to slide over the curve of her ass cheek before slipping between her legs. She let one finger slip inside of Sara, nudging her legs further apart. Tegan explored her body for a moment before adding a second digit and pressing deep into her, curving her fingers, causing Sara to let out a moan her damp hands becoming slippery against the glass. Sara's body pushed back against Tegan's skilled fingers, desperate for more. Tegan's breathing was quick, and her body ached to the core just from seeing Sara like this.
Sara whimpered once she felt Tegan's fingers withdraw from her warmth, but found herself being spun around quickly, this time with her back side being pressed up against the glass. She opened her eyes, expecting Tegan to be only inches from her; instead, Tegan was already planting kisses down the front of her body.
She nipped playfully down her stomach, steadily inching onto her knees as Sara watched in wonder. Tegan's tongue was on her instantly, lapping at her.
"Oh, fuck…" She didn't mean to let that slip out, but it only seemed to motivate the elder twin. Tegan was flicking her tongue furiously over her, in such perfect rhythm. Sara rested a hand in Tegan's hair, the feeling of her moving up and down driving Sara even closer to the edge. Sara felt her insides twist in the most delicious way. Tegan was relentless and didn't miss a beat. Sara felt a hand slip under her knee being nudged upward; Sara opened her eyes and watched in awe at Tegan working her magic, allowing her slender leg to slip over Tegan's shoulder as requested.
Tegan quickly slipped a finger inside her once again, immediately following it up with a second. Sara groaned loudly, throwing her head back against the glass.
"Oh, Christ, Tegan…" she panted, her face flushed beyond belief; her legs were sure to collapse soon, she was sure of it. She could feel Tegan's grin against her skin, breaking her rhythm only for that second before continuing. Tegan slid her free hand up Sara's other thigh, grazing her nails down the sensitive skin.
It was Sara's turn to shake. She shook violently against Tegan's relentless tongue, her fluids coursing through her body like lava before they ended up running down her legs, into Tegan's mouth and down the front of Tegan's favorite shirt. Sara released her grip on Tegan's hair slowly, as she opened her eyes and made her best attempt to keep standing. Tegan grinned up at her, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
Sara watched as Tegan stood, her body pressing close to hers still and allowed her twin to wrap both arms around her tightly, burying her face in Sara's neck.
"Please don't let me wake up," Tegan whispered. Sara's heart melted instantly and so did her balance. They both giggled at her still shaking legs.
"I've never had that happen before," Sara laughed.
Tegan winked at her playfully. "Want me to carry you?"
"I think you may have to or I'm just going to be a puddle on the floor."
Tegan flashed a grin and flexed her 'muscles', giggling insanely, as she put an arm around Sara's shoulder and one behind both of her shaky legs and scooped her up. "See! I told you it was good that I started working out!"
They laughed even harder as Tegan miscalculated a step, landing both of them on the giant bed with a thud.
"Oh my god, I'm so thirsty," Sara whined.
"Let's order room service!" Tegan grinned and most definitely did not bounce up and down at the idea.
Sara laughed, slipping under the covers as Tegan swiped the menu from the night table. "I'm starving, fuck. How about waffles?"
Sara nodded eagerly. "With whipped cream please!"
Tegan wiggled an eyebrow at her, "Hmmm, okay I see your whipped cream and I will raise you…strawberries…hand me the phone!"
An hour later, full of waffles, whipped cream and strawberries they had collapsed from exhaustion. Sara tucked carefully under Tegan's protective arm, she slept as Tegan watched her before drifting off to sleep herself.