Chapter 7.
Harvey was undeceive on what to do the next morning. He didn't think it would be a good idea to get someone over to stay with Mike during the day. But he needed to head to the office for at least a few hours today, however had placed a call to Donna so he had the morning free.
When he checked his e-mail at the kitchen island he saw that the bed he had ordered would be delivered the same day. At least something positive. Hopefully it would get Mike in a better mood.
Harvey made his way to check on the kid. To his surprise he found himself secretly wishing that Mike was still asleep. He almost felt ashamed of himself for that. Mike was awake though, he was just laying there on the couch staring up at the ceiling. How long had he been awake? And why hadn't he said anything?
"Good morning."
Mike looked at him then and shrugged a little.
"You up for some breakfast?"
Mike looked away again. "Not up." He mumbled. Harvey choose to pretend that he didn't hear it.
"I'll fix us something." He said instead and went to do just that.
Mike looked after him as he felt his stomach ache a bit. He was pretty hungry actually. Not that he had any real appetite, who would if you only could eat soup or smoothies? He hoped Harvey remembered that. Maybe he should say something, but he didn't bother.
He had been awake for some time now. He didn't know for how long. He had tried to go back to sleep but soon gave up. He had been woken up by a nightmare. Once again he had been back in that damn alley. It had been awful to relive it again, but when he was laying there feeling the sweat starting to dry and his heartbeat starting to calm, it actually didn't feel that much better to be awake. Being awake and helpless like this was another kind of nightmare. He just laid there and waited while he tried to not think of anything. He tried to not notice the way his back hurt and how his head ached.
At the hospital they had told him that he had injured his scull somehow, but they hadn't been overly worried about that. He just needed to take it easy. Like he could do anything else anyway.
"It's finished!" Harvey called from the kitchen. Mike didn't move or answer. It wasn't like he could do anything anyway.
"You ready to get up?" Harvey suddenly stood by the foot of the couch.
"I guess." Mike mumbled. He slowly heaved himself up to sitting. He had to use his arm to support himself, because if he didn't it felt like he would fall down again. That was also as far as he could get. It was that far but not longer. As he sat there staring down at his legs he felt something that he could only describe as fear creep up on him. Luckily before it got worse Harvey pushed the coffee table to the side so that he could get the wheel chair closer to Mike.
"Alright?" Harvey said and then without waiting for an answer lifted Mike over to the chair. Mike couldn't help but groan a bit when Harvey's arm pressed at his sore back.
"Did I hurt you?" Harvey asked. "Do you want some painkillers?
"Yeah, I can take some."
They had breakfast mostly in silence. Mike didn't really feel like talking and Harvey had his laptop in front of him. Normally Mike would have complained about that, but now he felt a bit relieved. Harvey having the computer meant that they didn't have to talk. Harvey was working or something.
Harvey cleaned up after them and Mike didn't know what to do, so he just remained where he was. He felt stupid for just sitting there at an empty table but what else could he do?
He could hear Harvey in the kitchen and he tried a little to move the wheelchair, but when he bumped into the wall behind him he just stayed. It wasn't like he had anywhere to go. He wished he could go back to bed and just sleep until the day was over. He wasn't so lucky though.
Harvey soon came back to the table though and Mike could tell that he was making an effort to try and act normal and engage Mike in conversation.
It wasn't that easy on Harvey's part, Mike didn't seem that interested in talking. He just sat there in his chair staring out the window behind Harvey. It was a long morning.
Mike's new bed arrived after lunch. It was a whole project to get it installed in Harvey's office that would now act as bedroom for Mike. Harvey was satisfied with the result though and Mike even smiled a bit.
"So what do you think?" he asked the kid when they both were standing versus sitting in front of the bed.
"It's great Harvey. Thank you." Mike quietly said. "I appreciate it."
"You're welcome." Harvey smiled down at him. "I couldn't have you hogging the couch all the time anyway."
Mike shook his head at him and reached forward to feel the bed. "Seems soft."
"You want to try it out?" Harvey asked, but Mike shook his head. "Not now."
Harvey let him be. It was something in the kid's tone that told him to not start something with Mike now. It wasn't his usual style, but everything was so different now. Mike was so different. He just shrugged now when Harvey asked what else he wanted to do.
Things between the two of them just felt so different. Mike threw glances once in a while in Harvey's direction. It seemed like he was working now. Harvey had just placed him next to the couch and given him the remote. Mike had just taken it without a word. He hadn't found anything that caught his attention and eventually he just chose something and ended up pretending to care.
Everything just felt so wrong now. He felt wrong. He felt like he was just invading on Harvey's privacy. Did the older man even want him there? Sure Harvey had bought a bed for him, it must mean that he didn't mind it so much that Mike was staying with him. Or was it just out of guilt? Harvey apparently stayed home from work today as well. That was probably because of the whole fiasco with Rachel yesterday. And now Harvey felt like he was forced to stay here with Mike. He probably wanted to leave. Mike glanced over towards his boss. Harvey was at the table with a bunch of files and his computer in front of him. He didn't want Mike to help him it seemed. He hadn't asked for it at least. Mike wanted to roll over there and ask him, he wanted to say something that would ease up the mood somehow but he didn't know what. And he didn't know if he would be able to roll somewhere. So he just remained where he was and kept quiet. He glanced down on his legs. He really didn't like to look at them. They did look pretty normal though. He carefully tapped one of them. Nothing. He pressed his fingers down a bit harder and saw how his muscles gave way. He didn't feel a single thing though. It was so strange. He digged his nails down as hard as he could, knew that it should hurt, but there was nothing.
"Mike?" Harvey's voice startled him. "What are you watching?" Harvey walked over to him and sat down on the couch.
Mike shrugged. "I don't even know." He confessed.
Harvey watched him and nodded then. "Donna is going to come over for a bit soon." He said. "I need to head over to the office for a while. Do you need help with anything before I go?"
Mike felt like he wanted to cry again. He felt how his eyes started to burn and he stared intently at the TV screen. He was able to will it away after a moment. It wasn't just the fact that Harvey just had asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom before he left it was also the fact that he was leaving. Harvey had just confirmed his suspensions.
Harvey waited while Mike was pretending to look at the TV. He knew that Mike was struggling. He had been working but looked up at Mike just to see him sit there and jab his fingers down onto his legs. He just had to intervene then. He wanted to get Mike's thoughts away from whatever he was thinking right now. But he wasn't that successful. Mike did not look happy at all, he rather looked the opposite.
"I'll just be gone for a few hours and I thought I could bring some dinner with me for when I get back." Harvey said.
"Okay." Was all Mike said. He didn't even look at Harvey.
"So do you want me to help you? I think Donna will be here soon."
"Okay, but can you give me five minutes though."
"Sure." Harvey went to his room to lay out his clothes and then collected the files on the table. Mike was in the same position as before. Harvey didn't know how to stall any longer. Mikel just nodded when he asked if he was ready. Mike didn't look or speak to him when Harvey helped him in the bathroom.
"So do want to lay down or keep sitting in the chair?" Harvey asked when they were done.
"Maybe the couch?" Mike said. So Harvey drove him as close as possibly and then awkwardly lifted Mike over to it. Mike was tense and had his lips pressed together. Harvey could feel how his arm had a hard grip around his neck.
"Are you in pain?" he asked and then felt bad as Mike nodded a little.
"Why didn't you say anything then?"
Mike just looked away. Harvey got his meds from the kitchen counter and gave him a couple. He really felt like he should say something encouraging, but just couldn't think of anything that he thought would really help Mike.
-SUITS-
Donna actually made him feel better when she arrived. She had something to eat with her that was kind of tasty. Some yoghurt that you drank. She had also brought a board game with her. At first Mike was hesitant and didn't really see the point. But she arranged the game so that he could easily reach it from where he was on the couch. They played it five times, Mike winning each of them. He wasn't sure if she let him win or not. Either way he enjoyed it.
Rachel arrived before they had finished the last round and Donna had suggested that they would stop then, but Mike had refused. He had wanted to finish so Rachel sat next to them and waited.
They had something to drink after that. Mike got some apple juice since Donna didn't think that coffee would be good for him yet. He didn't agree by didn't argue either.
Harvey came back with dinner for all of them. It would have been a rare occasion for all of them to eat dinner together but Mike found that he couldn't enjoy it the way he had wanted after they all saw how Harvey had to struggle a bit with getting him into a chair by the table. He just felt angry and embarrassed after that. Also the chair was really uncomfortable, but he hadn't wanted to sit in the wheelchair either. He barely spoke during dinner and suspected that his bad mood somehow effected the other cause no one said much. It was his fault of course.
Harvey did try to engage Mike in conversations but the younger man barely answered. Harvey had received a look from Donna and had left it alone. He was able to ask her after dinner if something had happened, but Donna said things had been fine before he arrived.
"What? So you think it was me?" Harvey said only half joking.
"No of course not Harvey." She said but Harvey didn't feel convinced. He looked over at Mike and Rachel by the table. They were talking but Mike stared down at the table.
Rachel wanted to know how things were going for him and how he was feeling. He wanted to ask her what she thought this was like, but didn't. He just said he was fine, however he couldn't look at her when he said it. He wished she would just go. Sure that was rude and all but he juts couldn't deal with the sympathetic looks she gave him and the way she wanted to talk about how he was doing all the time. It just made him angry. But he didn't want to be angry at her since he knew she only thought that she was helping.
"Look Rachel, let's just talk about something else, okay?" He said eventually. She still looked a bit surprised.
"Sure Mike, what do you want to talk about?" she asked.
"I don't know."
She nodded a bit and then reached for his hand. He let her take it and held on to it a bit.
"I really miss you at home." She said and smiled at him. He clenched his teeth and let go of her hand.
"It's not like I can do anything about that Rachel!" He exclaimed.
"I know Mike I didn't mean it like that. I just meant to say that I miss you and that I wish you were there."
"Yeah, do you think I want to be stuck here? Don't you think that I want to go home?"
"Of course…"
"But even if I could get up those damn stairs it's not like you can help me with anything anyway."
Rachel closed her eyes briefly. "That's not really fair Mike."
"Fair? You want to talk about what's fair?" He knew that he probably should stop but he didn't care. "Is any of this fair?" He waved with his broken arm towards his legs.
"No of course not, but I just meant that it's not fair of you to say that I can't help you with anything."
"Well, what can you help me with then?"
"I know I can't carry you Mike, but that's not all that matters."
"It's the only thing I need!"
She just looked at him now with a sad expression, and all changed for Mike. It was like his emotions just did a backflip and he felt his eyes burn. He shook his head.
"Sorry Rachel. I didn't mean that." They looked at each other but before Rachel could respond Harvey and Donna were standing next to them.
"Everything alright here?" Harvey asked.
Neither Mike nor Rachel answered for a moment as they looked at each other.
"Yes, everything is fine." Rachel smiled but Mike could tell that it wasn't real. It was his fault.
"I'm sorry." He said again ignoring Harvey that looked at him.
"It's fine. But I think it's time we left right, Donna?"
Two minutes later they had left. Rachel hadn't met his eyes as she said goodbye to him. He felt like shit.
"How are you doing?" Harvey said and sat down on Rachel's vacant seat.
Mike just shrugged. He didn't know what to say. Harvey nodded a little.
"Well, it's time you took some meds. You feel like laying down maybe?"
Mike just remained where he was as a Harvey got him his medication and a glass of water. After that Harvey yet again helped him over to the wheelchair and then to the bathroom. All he could think of in there where the conversation he had with Rachel.. He knew he had hurt her, but he had been right as well, it was no way that she could do what was needed. She must understand that right? It was his only problem. At least that was what he tried to tell himself. He did all he could to avoid looking at his legs. It was hard in the bathroom.
Harvey lifted him over to his new bed after that. It was pretty comfortable and Harvey seemed satisfied.
"So do you like it?" He asked and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Yeah, sure. Thanks." Mike said.
Harvey watched him for a minute. Mike didn't really look that well. He was pale and had dark circles around his eyes. He still had traces of a bruise along his face. He laid tense in bed and wasn't really looking at Harvey. Almost like he didn't notice him.
Harvey made another attempt at starting a conversation but Mike wasn't that interested.
"Are you tired?" Harvey asked.
Mike shrugged again.
"I'll just take care of some stuff, okay." Harvey left the room and started with making sure the kitchen was in order. An hour had passed when he returned to Mike's room. The kid was in the same position as before.
"I'm heading to bed Mike." Harvey announced. Mike turned his head to look at him then. He nodded a little.
"You need anything or are you good?" Harvey asked.
"I'm good." Mike mumbled eventually.
"Well, see you tomorrow then. Good night Mike."
"Good night."
"You want me to…?" Harvey mentioned for the lamp and Mike felt himself stiffen when he realized that he wouldn't be able to reach the switch. Harvey turned the light out. Then he left the room and closed the door after him. Mike bit his tongue to stop himself from calling Harvey back as darkness spread in the room. He wished that the door had remained opened. He immediately felt trapped. He breathed out deeply in an attempt to calm himself down. It was fine, he was fine. He was going to sleep anyway now. It didn't matter. He wasn't that tired though. He didn't like this at all. He wished he was back on the couch again. Somehow that had felt better than this.
The bed was nice though. Comfortable. He tried to think positive. Today had been a pretty good day. Donna and Rachel had come to visit him. Then he had screwed up with Rachel. The way she had looked at him came for him now. Disappointed and sad. He had almost yelled at her, told her she couldn't help him. But that wasn't true. Just the fact that she was there to see him helped. At least a little. He tried to feel helped by it anyway.
He tried to move his feet. Nothing of course. He didn't even know why he bothered trying. It wasn't going to happen. He was just stupid. His mind wandered away to that alley again. He had been stupid then too. He had begged Joe not to hurt him. If he only would have run. If he had as soon as he saw Joe with the crowbar. If he had he would probably still have the ability to walk. He would easily have outrun Joe. But he hadn't because he had been stupid. Joe had tried to get rid of him then. He had tried to stuff him in a dumpster, like he was trash. He often thought of that. The feeling he had had then when Joe tried to drag him over and he had been too broken to do anything. Just like he was now. He only had himself to blame. He was trash.
Shit! He tried with all he had to think of something else. But that wasn't easy. He felt how he shook and how his heart was beating hard in his chest. He felt all shaky and couldn't relax. He wished he wasn't alone. He wished Rachel was there, or Harvey. He felt himself tear up where he was laying in the dark. Rachel probably wouldn't want to help him anymore after what he had said today. He wondered if she would come if he asked her to stay the night with him. He was so afraid that she would say no now, if he asked.
He managed to fall asleep after an hour or so laying there like that. His night didn't get much better though since he woke from a nightmare. He felt totally pathetic when he cried again from it. He wanted to call out for Harvey, but didn't. Eventually he fell asleep yet again, just to have another nightmare. It was only 4:45 AM but he decided not to go back to sleep again.
-SUITS-
Mike didn't appear to be in the best of moods the next morning and when Harvey asked the kid what was up he just muttered that he was tired. He refused to get out of bed too until Harvey got annoyed with him and might have yelled a little. It didn't improve Mike's mood.
Mike had a doctor's appointment set for that afternoon and Harvey had decided to go with him. Mike was quiet in the car and leaned against the window. Harvey wanted to say something about it but didn't and next time he looked over Mike's eyes was closed and he looked relaxed.
He woke up from Harvey shaking his arm. He wasn't pleased about that and wished it had been a longer ride to the hospital. He found that he actually liked being in a car more than he used to because in the car he felt equal to Harvey or whoever was there. It had been nice to get some sleep as well. A sleep without dreams. But now they were there and he had to face reality again.
The hospital visit wasn't pleasant at all, not that he had expected it to be, but it was also worse than he thought it would be. He was examined again and told that there was no change. Then they spoke to a doctor that told them about all kinds of negative consequences that might come from being paralyzed. Apparently it was everything from pain and depression to breathing difficulties. It wasn't really that uplifting. They also told him again about the center and that he still had the option of going there. He avoided the subject the best he could.
They went back home after the visit. Mike was in a bad mood. He just felt angry. It wasn't fair. He wanted to yell that out loud but he wasn't a damn child so he didn't. He had to suppress it all, but it wasn't an easy thing to do. Another pretty unpleasant thing was that his pain medication had been lowered. It meant that he probably would start to experience a bit more pain, mostly in his back. But it was something with that they didn't want him to become addicted to the medication. Harvey had seemed positive about the whole thing which made Mike annoyed since he knew where Harvey's mind was going. He felt a bit nervous about the fact that his medication was lowered. So far he hadn't really been in much pain at all because of the pain killers but that might change now apparently. They had told him not to worry though. Easy for them to say. The thought of chronic pain wasn't easy to get out of mind, they had talked about that too.
The first day with a lower doze of painkillers was okay, he didn't feel all that much different. However the second day it all went south. When he woke up that morning it was to pain. It was radiating from his back and spread through his entire body. At least that was what it felt like. His jaw and head ached as well. He hadn't really been aware of how much the pain medication he had received had helped, but now he was. This was going to suck.
Harvey came a while later to help Mike out of bed and noticed right away that something was up with the kid. Mike was all tense and quiet. He barely answered when Harvey tried to talk to him. Harvey suppressed an urge to shake him and just ask what the hell it was now.
Instead he helped Mike get dressed and then to the bathroom and the breakfast table. After they had eaten Mike seemed to be in a bit of a better mood.
Mainly Mike felt better since he had taken some meds with breakfast and they were pretty fast acting. The worst pain came down to a mild ache and then to just a sort of numb feeling. He got the pills three times a day now. Morning, lunch and before he went to sleep. It turned out that the time between lunch and night pills were too long for him.
Rachel came over to babysit him after lunch and Harvey went to work. At first things were fine. Harvey helped him down on the couch before he left and Rachel and Mike started to watch some TV show Rachel had heard about from another paralegal. It was pretty okay but halfway into the third episode he started to feel worse, more in pain. He kept quiet about it since he didn't want to worry Rachel. She was pretty amazing to him. Kind and caring even though he knew that she didn't agree with him on his decisions.
An hour later though he couldn't take it anymore. Rachel had noticed as well and asked if everything was fine. He had lied and said he was fine. Not anymore.
The pain made in irritated and then angry. Rachel didn't appreciate it and they ended up fighting again. She wouldn't give him any pain killers either and it wasn't like he could get them himself. He could see them on the kitchen counter from where he sat.
"Just get them!" He yelled at Rachel and saw how her face hardened. He didn't care.
"No Mike, not yet. I told you that you have to wait some. Harvey told me about what could happened and I actually agree with him that…"
"Oh come on Rachel! You never agree with Harvey, he doesn't know what he is talking about anyway. It's not that bad if I take them a few hours early."
"I just think that we should wait until Harvey gets here. I told you that we could try something else to lessen the pain Mike…"
"Nothing else works!"
"You don't know that, if you haven't tried it."
Mike swore at her then and bored his head into a pillow. Damn Rachel and damn Harvey! He should have known Harvey had ordered Rachel to not let him touch the meds. He had talked her over on his side apparently and Mike hated the fact that he wasn't able to do anything by himself to get rid of the pain. It affected his ability to think clearly. He had never experienced anything like it either, pain like this.
It was like he was constantly being stabbed in the back. Like there was something there actually boring into him. He tried to move away from it, to keep pressure off his back, and ended up half slumped over the edge of the couch. Rachel was there and tried to talk to him, wanted him to move back, asked if he wanted her to massage his back. She suggested putting something warm or cold him his back, but he just yelled at her to leave him alone. He knew he was rude but he just didn't care. He couldn't because of the pain. He would apologize later.
Rachel didn't leave him alone though.
"Please Mike, just let me try and help you." She said next to him, he shrugged her of when she touched his shoulder.
"Give me the meds then!" He said. He heard how she sighed.
"Soon Mike." She said. He could hear how she walked away and then her faint voice. She must have called Harvey because she came back a little while later and told him that Harvey was on his way home.
"You want him to bail you out or what?" He threw out.
"No Mike."
"You are supposed to be on my side! Not Harvey's."
"Harvey and I are actually both on your side. We are trying to do what's best for you here."
"Really?! Cause this sucks!"
Rachel sighed. "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Mike chose to ignore her after that. At least he didn't answer her. He tried to focus on something else than the pain. Rachel didn't seem to understand how bad it was anyway. He could feel himself starting to sweat and sometimes his body would shutter involuntarily like he was cold.
Harvey arrived some time later and Mike immediately felt relieved.
"Hey there? What's up with you?" Harvey looked down on him from the side of the couch.
Mike glared at him. "I m excellent."
"You in pain?"
"A bit yes. Can you just give me the painkillers?"
"Look Mike, you know you are not supposed to take any until later this night. So you should probably wait for a few hours."
"Yeah, but I don't want to wait. I want to take them now. I'm in pain now."
The anger was so close now. Both Rachel and Harvey was just standing there looking at him, both clearly hesitant towards helping him. They seemed to want to really stick to his doctors orders and ignore the fact that it meant that Mike would have to be in severe pain for at least four more hours. The thought of that both made him want to cry and to scream at them.
"Just give them to me!" He exclaimed.
"But Mike if we just could try something else first and then we can…" Rachel started.
"Let's wait a few hours." Harvey said at the same time.
Mike wasn't going to back down though, he hated this treatment, like they thought he couldn't make the right decisions and when he didn't they just made it for him. The problem was that he was totally at their mercy since he couldn't get the pills himself. That wasn't fair and it made him so damn angry. They shouldn't do this to him.
The argument got more heated from all of them. However Mike was at a disadvantage since he was both stuck were he was and that Rachel and Harvey was at the same side.
It ended with Rachel leaving in anger, but not before saying that Mike was Harvey's to deal with now and she wished him good luck. Hearing her say that was awful and he could feel tears burn in his eyes. He still screamed for her to get out if that was what she wanted.
"I think we both could use a break." Harvey said then and he left the room and Mike. Mike didn't answer and didn't look at Harvey. He just heard him walk away.
He tried to take a few deep breaths to calm down. The pain from his back made it impossible to relax though. His eyes flooded over and he did an attempt to sit up but that didn't make anything better. Nothing had been better. He was going to have to stay here and wait it out just like Harvey and Rachel had decided. Like what he thought didn't matter anymore. Like he was nothing. Not worthy of his own opinions. Like he was trash. This time when that thought came over him he didn't bother to try and cast it away. He felt like it was true now.
He had behaved so badly as well. He had been rude towards Rachel. He had never spoken to her like that before. He knew she was trying to help him but still he hadn't been able to stop himself from speaking to her like that. Fear rose in him at that moment. What if she would leave him? He wouldn't be surprised if she did. What did he have to offer her now? What would their life be like?
And Harvey. Harvey who was stuck with him here at his place. What if Harvey got sick of having him here when all Mike did was demand his help and then yell at him once in a while. For God sakes Harvey had to help him to the bathroom. He must hate that. Who would want to do that for your employee? Harvey probably just did it out of guilt or pity.
He tried to turn on his side. The pain was unbearable when he was on his back. It got even worse when he changed position since he wasn't able to turn completely on his side. His legs weighed a ton and wouldn't follow his movements. He was crying now and couldn't suppress a moan when he fell back onto his back.
He wished with all he had that he could change the situation he was in somehow but didn't know how. He wished he would pass out.
-SUITS-
Things had not gone well with Mike. Harvey had gotten home and found Mike on the couch in a terrible mood. Not soon after Harvey had gotten home he had been screamed at. He had trouble letting that go. He was being yelled at in his own home. Sure Mike said that he had been in pain but that didn't excuse him.
The pain medication was an issue. They had been told at the hospital that it was important that they followed the instructions on the prescribed meds otherwise Mike might develop an addiction. Harvey had promised himself that he wasn't going to let that become an issue for Mike on top of everything else the kid was dealing with. But now it seemed like it wasn't as easy as he had thought to follow through. When he stepped into the living room and saw the state Mike was in his first thought had been to just give Mike the pain killers. He was clearly in pain. But Rachel had suggested that they try something else first and Mike flat out refused.
Mike didn't back down after that and had yelled at them and Harvey got annoyed. Rachel had gotten angry as well and had said some things to Mike that must have been pretty hurtful for the other man to hear. Rachel had left after that and Harvey had went into his office as well. He had closed the door and sat down on the chair. He now spun around on it so that he was facing the door. He tried to listen and see if he could hear Mike. His eyes fell on the bed and the new bag with more of Mike's things that Rachel had dropped off for him. It was the third bag so far. Harvey didn't know why he did it but he stepped over and carefully pulled the zipper to open the bag. It was mostly clothes but also some sort of book was stuffed in there. Harvey took it out and saw that it was a photo album. He was really invading Mike's privacy here but it wasn't like Mike could come and see him do it. He probably wasn't even sure the album was there or the bag for that matter.
Harvey opened the album at random. What meet him was a larger picture of a small family. It must be Mike and his parents. The young boy was wedged in between his parents that both held on to him. They were all smiling at the camera. They looked like a happy, loving family. At this picture the younger Mike was held and loved.
The older Mike on Harvey's couch was neither. No one was going to comfort him like it looked like his mother was capable of. Mike had been on his own a lot in his life, without everything that the picture held. And now if ever Mike really would have benefited from it. Now he needed it.
Harvey closed the album, put it back in the bag and closed it. He walked back out into the living room.
Mike was in a bad shape. It tore in Harvey to see that he was actually crying. Guilt spread within him. He was part of the reason why Mike was crying. His associate who had been badly hurt at work, during a time when Harvey was responsible for him, he was now laying on Harvey's own couch crying and in pain. Screw the damn doctor's instruction. He went to the kitchen and soon returned to Mike. He sat down on the coffee table. Mike groaned and made a weak attempt at turning away from him.
"I have the pills here Mike. I have them here." He said.
Mike's whole expression changed and relief was showing in eyes wet eyes. He didn't say anything just held out a shaky hand towards Harvey, his whole attention focused on the medication in Harvey's hand. He swallowed them dry and waved Harvey's hand away when he tried to hand him a glas of water.
Mike fell back against the pillow and closed his eyes. All he had to do now was wait. He just had to wait and it would feel better. It would go away. He would feel better. He had to. Just wait. Breathe and wait. He ignored Harvey. He ignored the fact that Harvey saw him cry. He pushed the humiliation away. Soon he would feel better. The pain would lessen. It had to.
Harvey made a few attempts to get the kid talking but it was like Mike didn't hear him. Or he totally ignored Harvey. He felt like shit for not realizing how bad it had been. Mike had been in serious pain and what had he done? He had argued with the man. He had told him that he could wait a few hours. Clearly Mike couldn't do that. He cursed the damn doctors. Mike was not in a shape of waiting for hours for pain relief. He would have to give the hospital a call later to straighten this out. For now he waited.
Mike seemed to be a bit calmer about fifteen minutes later. His breathing had slowed down a bit and he wasn't as tense.
"Doing better?" Harvey tried.
Mike opened his eyes slowly and looked at him then. It was almost like he was a bit surprised by the fact that Harvey was sitting next to him. Harvey couldn't help but notice that the kid tensed up again. They had to talk.
Mike swallowed and tried to smile a bit. He had been startled by Harvey. He had been so focused on breathing that he had forgotten that Harvey had been there. Now he felt nervous and worried. He had been yelling and all and now Harvey seemed to be nice to him. What was going on?
"You know I thought of rolling of the couch and hit my head against the floor." He tried to make it seem like a joke. Though the thought had entered his mind as a valid option. Harvey seemed actually shocked though.
"What? To knock yourself out?"
"It was my next option. Or my only option, except that rolling over was excruciating."
"Shit kid. Sorry. I… I didn't realize."
Harvey seemed genuinely sorry and that did something to Mike. Oh no. He didn't know if he could deal with this. Harvey was apologizing to him when he was the one that had been behaving badly. Harvey shouldn't apologize. He had been the rude one. He had been rude and ungrateful. It was him. Harvey should be mad at him. But Mike didn't want him to be.
Mike didn't answer Harvey at first. He stared off into space and Harvey saw how his eyes yet again started to tear up. Seeing that made him clench his fists. Mike's lips opened and then closed again. Then he spoke.
"I'm… I'm sorry too."
Harvey shook his head. "You don't need to be."
Mike looked up at him then. "Yes I do." He said. He had tears in his eyes and Harvey saw how he tensed. He gripped the blanked he had over him hard in his hand. Harvey wasn't sure on what to do to make it better. He wanted to joke it all away but that wasn't appropriate now. Instead he placed a hand on Mike's shoulder and squeezed a bit. He did his best to ignore the fact that Mike's first reaction was to flinch. Mike briefly met his eyes but then he looked away. He was tense below Harvey's hand. Harvey kept it there.
A moment later had Mike still tense and unmoving. Harvey just waited. He felt his heart twist a little when Mike then carefully lowered his head so that his cheek rested against Harvey's hand. He could feel moisture there from the younger man's tears. He understood that Mike was seeking comfort from him at this point. He didn't move.
"You are not mad right?" Mike whispered. He just had to know. He didn't think that Harvey was mad at him anymore, but he needed to be sure. He couldn't deal with it if Harvey was. He just felt so down and he couldn't even get a grip on himself enough to force those damn tears away. He had to blink a few times to see Harvey clearly.
Harvey squeezed Mike's shoulder a bit harder before answering.
"Absolutely not Mike." He said it with enough force so that he hoped Mike wouldn't doubt him.
Mike just nodded a little and stayed as he was. Cheek resting on Harvey's hand.
-SUITS-