abby: Woop, another long review! I do love long reviews :D My favourite Recess episodes are The Experiment (of course), the one where Lawson has his crew and the one where Principal Prickly thinks he's a 6-year-old, I saw it today after all these years and I absolutely love it :D It's weird coz when I was around 8 or 9 I used to LOVE Recess, like I was obsessed with it, I saw every single episode, and it's only because of Fanfic that I've started getting into it again. It's easier for me to watch now that we have Sky, and it's great seeing them all again after quite a few years :) The thing with Ashley Mills/Spinelli being friends with the Ashleys is because a lot of Recess episodes are about discovering that not everyone is as bad as they seem, like the one where Spinelli stays at Miss Finster's house, and the one where Mikey befriends Kurst the Worst. I think it's absolutely ridiculous how the people in spot adverts never have spots in the first place, I think they definitely airbrush people. I LOVE MEAN GIRLS!! What an amazing film :D But back to the point. Thank you for reviewing, and enjoy the chapter!!

Prepare for an EXTREMELY shocking chapter- remember the summary? Well, we find out what Spinelli's dark secret is…

Jaws dropped open as the Ashleys, now with their new member, strutted down the school corridors together the next day.

"Hel-lo!" Guy Griswald said flirtilty, not taking his eyes off Ashley's chest. Ashley felt extremely uncomfortable. She knew she used to hate the Ashleys, and that Guy was nice when he was Gus- but Ashley still thought he was a jerk who really needed to get over himself.

To take her mind of Guy's hungry stare, Ashley counted the number of guys who did double takes at her new image in the corridor- she got thirteen before she wondered what TJ would think. He was going to be back in school today. Maybe he'd be just as impressed as these other guys and agree to go out with her… but Ashley didn't want a TJ to just like her for her body and wearing tight outfits. Now she thought about it, she be happier if TJ just didn't like her at all- although she wouldn't be happy if that happened… why was this so complicated?

Ashley's first period was a free one. The other Ashleys had classes and Mikey was still off sick, so Ashley had no one to hang out with- although she got a number of offers.

"Hey, Ashley, wanna go behind that dumster there?" Guy said. Ashley turned around, and if looks could kill, he would have died, right on the spot.

"I think I would rather scoop out my own eyes with a spork and eat them on toast, but hey, thanks for the offer," she said, and Guy looked slightly amused, slightly confused, and slightly annoyed. "Geez, babe, I was only asking."

There was only one person Ashley really wanted to see right now, and there he was, leaning against a wall, cigarette in hand, looking deep in thought. Ashley wondered what was going through his head…

Until he suddenly came back to Earth with a bang, took one look at Ashley's appearance and burst out laughing.

"What?!" Ashley said, hands on hips, annoyed. TJ, still laughing, said, "Oh God! What the hell have you done at yourself?"

"The Ashleys gave me a makeover."

"I can see that."

"They're not that bad once you get to know them."

"Funny how I'd rather kill myself than spend time with them."

There was an awkward silence. "I don't agree with suicide."

TJ shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned, people can do what the hell they like. I mean, I could understand why they'd want to- life sucks."

"It makes me sick that people would want to kill themselves," Ashley said, tears in her eyes- this was something she felt so strongly about. "Life's a gift, and there are loads of people that won't get to experience everything life has to offer, because they die young and against their will. It's selfish that people kill themselves intentionally."

"Whoa… deep stuff," TJ said. "Where did all this 'life's a gift' stuff come from anyway?"

"It's something I feel strongly about," Ashley said.

"I don't even know you and you're telling me all this junk that's on your mind?"

"You may know me more than you might think," Ashley said mysteriously, causing TJ to stare at her suspiciously- not at her chest or her hips or her butt, in her eyes, deep into her eyes.

Then TJ returned to his cigarette. "Maybe you have a point…" there was another silence, then TJ broke it by saying, "My dad was murdered."

Ashley wished she could have seen TJ's face at that moment. He had turned away from her. She wondered whether this tough guy thing was all an act. She didn't know what she'd do without her dad. She missed him incredibly when her parents split up all those years ago and her mom left, taking Ashley with her. And now, after a lot of persuasion, they were back, so that she could see him more before she…

Wait, did TJ say his dad was murdered? Oh God… Ashley felt all of her insides freeze. TJ's dad had been like a second dad to her in their childhood. "Oh. I'm sorry," Ashley said, trying to hide how upset she was- she didn't want TJ to get suspicious.

"That's what they all say. I dunno if they actually are, though." TJ said quietly. "A gang shot him. They had no reason to. He was a great man. He was kind and funny and smart, and I trusted him with my life. He always seemed to make my problems go away- well, most of them anyway. But the gang didn't care. They killed him anyway. The police just said he was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Did they catch the gang who did it?"

"Yup… and guess what they got?"

"What?"

"Community service," TJ said, his voice shaking with anger. "There's something not right with this world."

"Agreed," Ashley said quietly. And she knew what that something was; time. Because it always had to run out too soon. If it wasn't for time, the world would be a wonderful place.

"When did it happen?" Ashley said after a moment's pause, hoping the answer wouldn't be-

"Fifth grade…"

Ashley immediately felt that feeling again- the feeling she'd got when TJ had first told her about his dad just a minute ago- the one where all her organs froze. But this time it was a million times worse- because she'd left TJ just when he needed her most.

Maybe that was why TJ hated her so much- at least she now understood. It must have been horrible for TJ. He had told her he was in love with her- which must have took a lot of courage… Ashley liked to think of herself as tough, but she would never, ever, ever have the guts to confess her true feelings for TJ. And she hadn't said anything. She had a good reason to- but TJ didn't know that. So she had just gone home and left him standing there, bewildered and probably wondering what the hell he had done wrong. Then, even worse than that, it was the last time TJ had ever seen Spinelli- because she and her mother had left immediately after that, and Spinelli didn't even get a chance to say goodbye… then a few days later, his dad had been murdered. Death was a horrible, horrible, horrible thing, and it must have been so hard for a ten-year-old to deal with it when it was so sudden, so cruel and without his best friend there to hold him while he cried onto her shoulder. Sure, he would have had Mikey, Gus, Gretchen and Vince, but her and TJ… they'd always been… different. They'd always had this special connection… Ashley could never describe it until now.

They were soul mates.

And Ashley had deserted TJ without even telling him, in what was probably the worst time of his life.

That made her feel like such a terrible person.

"I suppose I always blamed Spinelli for what happened to my dad," TJ said, shrugging. "I always thought that if she was around, then it wouldn't have happened. Coz that's what she did… she took away all my problems. You see, she was my best friend when we were kids… though I'd always wanted to be more than just friends. I told her I loved her one night in fifth grade…" Ashley gulped, she knew this story too well. "She just ran away and I never saw her again… she didn't even say goodbye. I was heartbroken. Then a few days after she left, Dad died and I got miserable. Mom didn't care. She did the worst thing anyone could ever do- she replaced Dad. She married this other guy- and then those two had a baby, which replaced me. At school, the rest of the group just totally fell apart. You may or may not believe this, but me and Spin were friends with Vince Lassell, Gretchen Grundler, Mikey Blumberg and Guy or whatever he calls himself these days. And I always blamed her for everything."

"It probably wasn't her fault," Ashley said gently. "…she probably didn't want to leave." TJ nodded. "Her parents split up. But she could have at least said goodbye." "Maybe she didn't have time."

There it was again. Time. That stupid, horrible word.

Why did Ashley hate time so much?

Because she was running out of it.

"Mr. Spinelli, Mrs. Spinelli… Ms. Spinelli," the doctor said, glancing at Spinelli with a sad look in his eyes. "I'm very sorry, but our tests have shown that Ashley has leukaemia."

"NOOOO!!" Mrs. Spinelli cried out, bursting into tears. Mr. Spinelli looked angry. "No, that can't be right!" he said to the doctor.

Spinelli herself couldn't bring herself to be upset or angry. She was just in total shock. So shocked that she had become a block of ice- she probably wouldn't be able to move from the spot.

Her parents argued in the car all the way home about whether or not they should bother with chemotherapy. "It doesn't always work and it would just put Ashley through even more pain!" Mrs. Spinelli argued. "Oh, so you don't care about our girl, then? You don't want to save her?" Mr. Spinelli snapped back. They argued like this as if Spinelli wasn't even in the car.

They got home and without a word to her parents Spinelli went up the stairs and into her room. She didn't slam her door behind her- she wasn't angry. She was still in shock. Still in denial.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror, pale with shock. She wasn't going to die. Only old people died. She wasn't old. She was ten! She wasn't even a teenager yet. She wouldn't even get to do any of the things she wanted to do… and they worst part was, she didn't even know when she was going to die. It could happen any time. It could be ten years. It could be ten months. It could be ten weeks. It could be ten days. It could be ten minutes. Ten seconds…

Then Spinelli realised. What on earth would all the others say when they found out?

She didn't want to think about it. There was no one else she cared about more than Gretchen, Mikey, Gus, Vince and especially TJ, and she didn't want to hurt them… she would rather not have them know about it and be happy than find out and get hurt. She did not want to hurt them. It made her sick picturing their hurt faces…

And maybe she didn't have to worry anyway. Maybe she'd have chemo and it would work and she'd die an old lady…

Only it didn't work. She'd had chemo. Her hair had all fallen out and grown back into that short style the Ashleys liked. They'd tried everything. But it wasn't enough.

Last time Ashley had gone to the doctors, he'd said she had just months to live.

Did any of you see that coming? Look carefully over the chapters- I did drop a few hints. Anyway, hope you liked that dramatic little chapter- please review! Or I will be :( and we don't want that to happen, do we :)