Chapter 7

Alice woke to the sound of rain and the feel of water hitting her face, a soft pat-pat-pat that was steady in rhythm and warm in temperature. It splashed against her cheeks, eyelids, forehead and chin like kisses from an anxious lover, demanding and questioning. Wake up. Wake up. Are you well? Are you okay? Thank goodness, thank goodness...

She forced her eyes open and found herself staring up at a spectacular, bruised-colored sky. Dark purple clouds tinged with gray-green edges roiled in an angry mass above her, growing and bulging over and under each other in a slow motion throbbing that was unsettling to watch. Oddly, no crackling of lightning or booms of thunder accompanied the storm clouds, just rain. Falling steadily into her face.

Alice groaned and tried to roll away from it, but regretted the action immediately when it caused her muscles to seize up, the entire right side of her body twisting into one giant cramp.

She gasped and fell back, resisting the urge to fight her spasming muscles. She tried to distract herself from the pain by recalling how she had wound up like this, but the memories, as they trickled back, only made her feel worse.

The Red Knight showing up with all those Suits…

Charlie's sudden attack…

Guinevere running away… away from where Alice needed to be…

The feeling of being shot…

The last memory had her reaching up with her good arm to carefully feel around her shoulder, trying to get an idea of how bad the damage was without moving overmuch. The area was still mostly numb, unlike the rest of her body, and after some cautious probing she found a perfect, shallow hole, about the size of a BB pellet, clotted over and already hardening in the beginnings of a scab. There was no evidence of a bullet and the wound was too wide for a tranquilizer dart. The closest Alice could guess was that she'd been shot with some sort of sedative pellet, one that appeared to dissolve once it pierced the skin. A modest weapon for something so debilitating.

Slowly, her muscles began to loosen out. First in her leg, then in her side and arm, with her shoulder and neck last of all. When the pain had mostly subsided, Alice once again tried to rise. This time, she successfully made it all the way up into a sitting position before her muscles put up another protest, forcing her to once again pause and wait it out.

She took in her surroundings. The leaves and grasses surrounding her bounced and bobbed as the rain beat down on them. A cracked statue of a knight chess piece, half-covered in vine, said she was still in the Kingdom of the Knights, though not in a section she had ever been in before. Between the late hour and the rain, visibility was poor, but she was fairly certain she was alone. If the Suits had found her, they wouldn't have waited for her to rise before catching her. She would have woken up bound and already halfway back to the palace.

Next to her lay Hatter's old hat, now badly crumpled.

I must have landed on it when I fell off of Guinevere.

She looked around for the old horse, concerned enough to risk calling out when she didn't immediately see her. A muffled whinny responded, and a few seconds later her cowardly mount trotted into view. She bumped Alice with her nose and chuffed hotly, as if Alice were the frustrating one.

Alice grabbed up the hat, then used Guinevere's reins to pull herself up, clinging to the horse's mane when she suffered a head rush and her legs wobbled.

"Charlie?" said Alice, but unlike his horse, he did not appear at the sound of his name. It didn't come as a surprise, but Alice's heart still sank as she was forced to accept the fact that her faithful White Knight was gone. He had sacrificed himself so she could get away. If he lived—no, of course he was alive. Stay positive, Alice!—he was most likely back in the custody of the Red Knight, and soon would be back in Jack's.

"God, Charlie, why did you have to go and get brave on me like that?" she whispered, voice thick as frustration, guilt, shock, and gratitude all jostled for position inside of her. He'd kept her from capture, yes, that wonderful, crazy, selfless old man. And being free was infinitely better then being taken back to rot in the palace dungeon while who knew what became of Hatter. But now she found herself stuck in a different but equally grim set of circumstances. She had now lost her only ally, who had also been her only way of finding Hatter, and she didn't have the time to go after him or the means of staging a rescue—not with the Red Knight and almost two dozen Suits as his guard.

The situation was back to looking hopeless again.

One of Guinevere's saddlebags was missing; the one that had contained extra clothes. Alice didn't bother wasting a lot of time looking for it. After a cursory search of the area around her, she gave it up for lost and went to make sure the remaining one was still secure. Then she checked Guinevere's girth, popped the dirty, bent hat on top of her head, and mounted up. She had a choice to make. Either she went after Hatter blind and prayed she eventually stumbled across the correct trail before some hideous beast found her and devoured her whole, or she went after Charlie on what would virtually equate to a suicide mission. She was under no illusions about either option. Both were equally terrible and doomed to fail. But… if she could only pick one…

It hurt to do it, but she tightened her heels against Guinevere's sides and angled the horse south, deeper into the forest where she thought a White Queen most likely to reside. Charlie had sacrificed himself to give Alice this chance to continue on. Risking going back only to get herself recaptured would be a poor way to repay him for it. Besides, she refused to change her priorities. She had come here for Hatter. The Red Queen, even Charlie, they all had to come second to that. Because if she let herself be sidetracked—noble cause or no—and lost Hatter because of it… that was the one loss she wouldn't be able to take.

For the first time, she found herself not only understanding her ex, but empathizing with him. Lies, betrayal, sacrifice, Jack would do it all for Wonderland. Hatter—Hatter was her Wonderland. She wasn't sure when it had happened. There wasn't an exact moment she could point to and go, "Ah, there. That's when he became so important to me." Rather, every moment spent with him held the utmost significance to her. And over time, those moments had all built up into something that would've been terrifying if she didn't have such faith in Hatter—faith those moments had given her. She would either come back with him by her side, or she wouldn't come back at all.

For the next several hours she rode through the downpour, Guinevere plodded along willingly enough but so slowly it was hardly worth riding her. Alice couldn't even get mad about it, since she had no idea where she was going anyway. She tried to do as Charlie said and "follow the magic," but since magic wasn't exactly a visible thing she had no idea how to find it, much less how follow it anywhere. She'd head off to the left, only to second guess herself and try going more to the right, creating pointless zigzags that only slowed them down more.

Eventually the rain tapered off, leaving the air muggy and thickly perfumed with the smell of wet soil and wood. Dawn came along shortly after that, a reluctant sun breaking through the intimidating mass of storm clouds, and still, nothing magical revealed itself. Guinevere's pace continued to slow, head drooping lower and lower until Alice felt like she was riding a headless horse. She at last conceded to a rest, and left the tired horse to graze while she made a search of the immediate area on foot, peeking under fallen logs and searching places not easily visible on horseback, feeling more foolish and desperate by the moment. She had no idea what she was looking for or where she was going, if she was even headed in the right direction. Even if she was somehow going the right way, she couldn't possibly be making good enough time.

Follow the magic.

She had never dealt with magic before, and already she was sick of it.

Alice sighed and tugged angrily on a strand of hair, which, thanks to the humidity, was sticking out in a half-hearted curl that reminded her of how Hatter's hair used to be, back before he'd come to her world. That first day, seeing his hair so subdued, so not Hatter, that had be been a surprising change, to say the least.

At first, she'd assumed he'd changed it to make a good impression with her mother. But then he'd kept showing up that way, day after day, even when it was just the two of them, and Alice had finally been forced to ask what was up. Had he done something to it? Used some kind of gel or a straightener? And he'd smiled, slightly embarrassed, and said to her, "Ah, well, that's because there's no magic here."

Alice stopped dead in her tracks. She lost her grip on her hair and the frizzy strand was blown back by a straggling gust of wind left behind by the storm. She couldn't believe she had forgotten Hatter's innocent statement that day or the surreal and ridiculous conversation it had led them into after that.

"You see, magic was outlawed by the Red Queen when she first came to power. And since then, most of us have lost the ability to manipulate it with any kind of skill. Charlie would be your prime example of that. But magic still exists in its purest form in nature and in the body. Unless, of course, we leave Wonderland. Then… I guess you could say, it's like it goes dormant inside of us until we return."

Hatter's words, spoken in that usual, confident, fast-talking way of his, kick-started Alice's heart. Yes. Yes, she remembered this.

"So, what you're saying is, you have magic inside of you?" Her return query had been filled with amusement.

Hatter had smiled, but nodded seriously enough. "A small bit of magic resides inside of every living thing in Wonderland. Not much to do anythin' special, but it can enhance certain physical traits, like the brightness of someone's eyes or the smoothness of someone's skin. It can give certain animals unique skills…"

"Such as?"

"Humming birds, for instance."

"We have humming birds here, too," Alice had argued, unimpressed.

"Yes. But ours actually hum."

Alice turned and ran. Suddenly, she knew without a doubt where she could find such a thing. It was so obvious, she could kick herself for not having thought of it before.

Hold on, Hatter, she thought. I'm coming.

She mounted up quickly and rode back north, then turned east towards the grasslands she had passed when coming to the Kingdom of the Knights with Hatter and Charlie the first time.

The moment she broke through the treeline, she saw it—the giant mushroom. As tall as a small mountain and opalescent in color, what else but magic could be at work? There had to be something there that could help. If not a person, then a sign of where to go next. There just had to be.

It took the rest of the day for Alice to reach it—though in her defense, the day lasted only half as long as it should have. The last rays of sunlight were disappearing behind the horizon when she passed under the mushroom's mile-wide cap. From there, she dismounted and continued on foot to the base of the stalk. The mushroom's glow illuminated everything and cast it in soft focus. White particles shaped like oversized dandelion seeds fluttered down from the rippling gills above her, coating the ground like fuzzy snow. Alice moved forward cautiously, batting away the strange particles and squinting to see through the pale glare. Searching… hoping…

That's when she saw him.

His back was to her, but she'd recognize that messy mop of hair anywhere. It was back to its original, curling state, twice as wild without a hat to keep it in check. Her heart stuttered at the sight of that hair. It couldn't be. What were the odds? And yet, there was no denying that it was him. Free, alive, safe. Here.

"Hatter!"

At the sound of his name, he turned, and his face lit up at the sight of her. Alice ran to him. She threw herself into his arms and clung. His grip on her as just as strong.

"Thank god," she gasped out. "Thank god you're all right. How on earth did you—"

"I escaped." He said it simply, but there was undisguised pride in his voice. "I snuck out right from under the White Queen's nose. They probably won't even notice I'm gone 'til morning."

She ran her hands over his arms, shoulders, and back. Feeling, searching. "They didn't hurt you, did they?"

He shook his head, burying his face in her neck and scratching her skin with his stubble. "I missed you so much, Alice."

"I missed you, too," she whispered. Perfect, that's what it was. Things could not have worked out any better. Now they just had to rescue Charlie, stop the Red Queen, and they could go home and put this terrible nightmare behind them.

"Charlie's safe," Hatter said, and Alice looked up at him in surprise, realizing she must've spoken her thoughts aloud.

"He is?" she said. "How do you know?"

"He came by this way, looking for you. Managed to shake the Red Knight off his tail, he said, but didn't know where you had gone. He thought you'd find your way here eventually, though, so I decided to wait while he went and looked around some more. He should return soon enough."

"I can't believe he managed to get away," said Alice. "You either. That's just so…"

"Brilliant? Fantastic? Awe-inspiring?"

Alice smacked his arm and he winked at her, pulling her back close to him.

"So it's just the Red Queen then," she said.

"I wouldn't bother frettin' about that, if I were you," said Hatter. "Ol' Jackie boy is more than capable of taking care of those things. It's his fight, not ours."

Alice frowned. It wasn't like Hatter to talk like that, not anymore.

"Are you sure nothing happened with the White Queen?" she asked.

"Didn't hang around long enough for somethin' to happen."

"Did you find out why she had you kidnapped?"

"Nope. And I'm just as happy not knowing." He certainly sounded it. His mood was the epitome of light-hearted. Well, relief probably contributed a lot to that. Alice was feeling pretty damn giddy herself.

She hugged him to her and told herself not to borrow trouble. Hatter was safe, Charlie was safe, and Hatter was right, Jack could probably handle finding his mother without their help, war or no. Her part was over. It had ended a bit abruptly, but in the best possibly way. Once she saw that Charlie was safe, she and Hatter could head home and put this all behind them.

"Just you and me," he whispered.

Yes, just him and her.

She hugged him tighter.

"I must say, it's been ages since I've seen a reunion this touching," said a voice from behind Alice. "Usually it's all vengeance and victory around this place. But then, that's what makes you the Champion, I guess. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."

Alice twisted around to see who had spoken, keeping a hold of Hatter as she did so. After just getting him back, she was unwilling to leave his embrace unless she absolutely had to. Hatter, too, didn't let go of her.

At first, she thought it was Jack standing there; the height and posture were exactly the same. But this man was too skinny, his hair a shade too dark, and he sported a thin moustache and beard, whereas her ex had prided himself on always being clean-shaven.

Alice met his gaze and he gave a deferential nod. "It's an honor to meet you, Alice of Legend."

"Thanks, but I'm not a legend of anything," she said, in no mood for humoring undeserved bowing and scraping from a complete stranger.

He looked amused. "Is that right?"

"It is. Who are you?"

"My friends call me Lionel."

"Tough name."

Expression still pleasant, he replied, "I've had worse."

Perhaps he had. Alice looked him over. He didn't seem threatening. His eyes were kind, if slightly sad-looking. Maybe he was just tired. His clothes spoke of a man who traveled, far and often. Durable cloth, well-worn. A jacket with ragged cuffs. Scuffed boots.

"Was there something you needed help with?" Alice asked.

"On the contrary, it's you that seemed to need help," he said.

"What do you mean?"

Lionel gestured to Hatter. "You need to let go of him now."

"Excuse me?" said Alice.

Lionel either didn't catch the warning in her voice or chose to ignore it.

"You know better than this," he said, the words jarring with his sympathetic tone. It only riled Alice's temper more.

"What do you know about me?" she snapped.

"You're the Champion."

"I already said I'm not!" It came out a shout, surprising both him and Alice equally. She was just too tired; she didn't have the patience for this now.

"How many times do I have to say it? I'm not a champion and I'm not a legend. I'm just Alice, nothing else."

"But only a champion can save the Hatter."

"There's no need to save him," said Alice, giving Hatter's sleeves a pointed tug. "He's right here."

Lionel shook his head and sighed. "You only wish it were that simple. You wished for it, and the mushroom gave it to you. That's what mushrooms do, and unfortunately this one is exceptionally good at it. I think it's because of its size; too much magic. But it's not real. It's only an illusion."

"It's not," said Alice. "Hatter, tell him!"

"Of course I'm real," said Hatter. He was still smiling that sweet smile of his, completely untroubled by the argument taking place in front of him. And why should he get mad over it? This whole conversation was ridiculous and stupid.

"See?" said Alice. Of course Hatter was real. An illusion couldn't possibly hold onto her like this. He was real, safe, and they were going home. Just as soon as Charlie got back, they'd say their goodbyes and be on their way. Everything was fine; everything was perfect. This man, Lionel, he was the illusion, which was why Hatter wouldn't look at him, wouldn't acknowledge him. Yes, that was it.

When she said as much, Lionel only shook his head again, and there was definite sadness in his eyes now. "If you do not let go, then we will all be lost," he told her. "The Hatter will be lost."

But he was right here! She wanted to scream it at him. Hatter's grip on her was painful now. Alice's hands trembled where she held him.

"You escaped," murmured Alice. "You escaped from the White Queen without a scratch, and we met up here."

"We did," confirmed Hatter.

"Charlie wasn't caught. He got away from the Red Knight and is looking for me now. He'll be back soon."

"He will," reassured Hatter.

"Jack doesn't need my help. The Red Queen isn't my problem."

"He doesn't; she isn't," Hatter agreed promptly.

Alice's eyes burned. She pressed her face against his collar. He smelled exactly the same as always. He was as solid and warm as he ever was. She could even hear his heart beat. Her senses all said he was real.

Except…

Except Hatter wasn't one to humor her. Nor was he the type stay out of a fight when help was needed. He certainly wouldn't stand around and let some strange guy call him a mere illusion without having something to say about it.

Too cruel, thought Alice. The magic here was just too cruel.

She took a shaky breath and looked up at the man she'd give her life to protect, and who she knew would do the same for her without hesitation. That she'd been lucky enough to find someone like that… Lionel was right. She had to be better than this.

Even if it killed her to do it.

"Tell me you'll stay alive," she said.

"I will," Hatter promised.

"Tell me Charlie will be okay."

"He will be."

Alice nodded. She stretched up and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Hatter."

And because it was what she needed to hear, Hatter said, "I love you, too, Alice." As if it were a bygone fact and not something they had never admitted aloud to before.

Alice let go.

The moment her fingers released his sleeves, Hatter's grip on her went slack. He dissipated before her eyes like colorful smoke into the sky. Not once did his smile waver.

Within seconds, he was gone.

It took Alice a long time to turn around and leave. When she finally did, she found Lionel waiting for her near Guinevere, his own horse by his side.

She stopped in front of him, feeling awkward and embarrassed and a little angry too, which probably wasn't fair, but there it was.

"I should probably thank you…" she started, trailing off.

He nodded as if he could hear the end of that sentence, which was, "But I can't."

She nodded back dully, then moved past him to mount back up. She felt physically exhausted and mentally drained. She thought she had figured things out, but all she had found here was more heartbreak and no trail. Despite knowing she couldn't give up, she had never felt so discouraged in her life.

"You'll want to go that way," said Lionel, pointing east.

"And why's that?" said Alice.

"Because that's the way to the White Queen's place."

That got Alice's attention. She jerked her head up. "You know the way to the White Queen?"

"Didn't I just say as much?"

"But… how did you know I was looking for her?" Her illusion had showed only her desire to see Hatter.

"Word travels fast around here. Lots of rumors going around." He ticked them off on his fingers. "Alice of Legend is back; the White Queen lives and has taken the Hatter." His voice grew soft. "War is coming."

"Will you take me to the White Queen?" Alice asked, hardly daring to hope, again, that she had found a way.

He cocked his head as if debating it, but when he caught her gaze he smiled.

"If Alice of Legend needs my help," he said, "then help is what I will give her."

Alice could have kissed him. "Really? You really will?"

"It would be my honor."

Well, if his believing so got her to the White Queen, she wasn't going to argue it, not this time.

"I thought this was the place," she admitted to him as he mounted his own horse. "To find the Queen, I mean. A friend told me to follow the magic, so…"

"So you found the biggest bit of magical fungi in Wonderland, thinking something that huge had to be a sign of something, am I right?" She nodded. "Not a bad deduction to make, for an Oyster."

"But wrong," Alice guessed.

"You don't see magic," Lionel said, "only what it transforms. And just because something might contain more magic than something else is no definite sign of anything. It's certainly not something you can accurately follow to anywhere."

"Then what—"

"You have to feel it," he said. "Way down in your gut. That's what you follow. You feel the call to the magic inside of you, and you go. Oysters don't have magic, so the odds of them feeling it, well, let's just say I've never heard of it."

"Is… is that why I couldn't… I mean, is that why that illusion back there… of Hatter… is that why I couldn't see through it?" Alice asked, and just the memory pinched her heart.

Lionel shook his head. "Even Wonderlanders are fooled by mushroom illusions," he said. "It's nothing you need to feel ashamed about."

"But you were fine," Alice pointed out. She tried not to say it accusingly, but she couldn't help feeling a little suspicious by it.

"I had my run-in with this particular mushroom before," he told her. "It wears off after a while, like anything else. You would've escaped it on your own too, eventually. However, I'm glad I saw you. We really didn't have ten years to spare while you worked through it."

"Ten years is a bit of an exaggeration," mumbled Alice.

"You think so?" Lionel gestured to the far skyline, which was already growing light with the first signs of dawn. "I waited a while before interrupting you," he said quietly. "You'd be surprised how easily time will get away from you when you're caught in a moment like that."

Alice gaped. She'd stood there all night? But it had only felt like minutes…

"The nights and days are shorter now," she said defensively.

He didn't argue with her, for which she was grateful. Instead, he only said, "Shall I lead the way, then?"

After a brief hesitation, Alice nodded.

As they set off away from the giant mushroom, Alice made herself a vow: that the next time she found Hatter, it would be for real. She wouldn't give up; she wouldn't let go.

So wherever you are out there, Hatter, she thought, you can't let go either, okay? Promise you'll wait for me.

And maybe it was just the aftereffects of the mushroom's magic, but from within the morning breeze she swore she heard the words, "I promise," whispered softly. And illusion or not, it lightened her heart and gave her strength.

"I'm coming, Hatter," she said. "I'm coming."