A/N: Wow... this has been a long time in coming. I'm a little disappointed in myself because I don't even have a good excuse for having taken so long, except that I was awfully uninspired. Oh well, even muses have to take a vacation every once in a while, I guess, so I'm glad mine didn't leave me altogether.

This is going to be another two-shot, obviously, with the second part being already halfway done which means, of course, that the next update will be a lot sooner. ^^°

And after having met Ikkaku in chapter 5 I'm glad to announce that Yumichika will have a major role in this one!X3

Thanks goes to: Rachel Noelle, stormwolf527 and Evilhumour Author.

#7: Perceptions (pt.1)

Her forehead hit the table with a resonant smack, causing her long hair to spill over the wooden surface. Faintly she recognized the sound of a chair being dragged to where she sat but she didn't bother reacting to it.

A soft hand came down on her shoulder.

"Rangiku-san, you should probably stop drinking for today..."

And with astounding speed – at least for someone who was as inebriated as she was at the moment – she whipped her head up again and proceeded to glare at the personification of evil who had dared to spout such blasphemy.

"Yumichika", she said in a scolding tone, "You are talking nonsense..."

In response the be-feathered man scrunched up his nose in semi-hidden disgust. "Look, you've already out-drunk everyone else of our little posse -" Both their eyes flickered over to where Madarame, Hisagi, Abarai and Kira were lying on the ground in a drunken stupor. "- a little more and I'll have to drag you to the 4th division so that they can pump out your stomach. And that's not going to be beautiful."

But Matsumoto only waved his comment aside, grabbing her cup of sake and drowning it in one fell swoop.

Ayasegawa looked at her a little frustrated. "Why does it always have to be me who is the last one left sober?", he mumbled to himself, and could answer the question easily enough – because he knew when to damn freaking stop drinking before passing out.

Pushing that thought aside he concentrated on the blond debacle in front of him again.

"What is it with you anyway?", he asked, "You've been down for the last couple of days – weeks, even."

Matsumoto stared at him (or rather a little to his left) and made a few choking noises that turned into small giggles the longer they went.

Ayasegawa frowned, but didn't say anything else.

As the giggles subsided Matsumoto straightened herself again, pushing her hair behind her shoulders.

"Taichou's been staring at my breasts...", she slurred.

"Along with 99% of Soul Society's male population", Ayasegawa replied, looking faintly bemused.

"But not taichou... he's just ... he's just ... not supposed to stare at my breasts!!"

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'm pretty sure that it isn't illegal for Hitsugaya-kun to take a few glimpses. He's at the right age, after all. And it's not like you bother to hide them, do you?"

There was a slight pause in which Matsumoto set to worry her lower lip intensively. Then: "You are right ... actually I don't mind at all.."

"So what's bothering you?"

With a troubled expression on her features she turned to look at him (directly) and sighed. "I think I like it when he looks at me."

"You like it when he looks at you?"

"That's what I said, so – yeah..."

"Oh. Oh."

And Matsumoto saw the world toppling over in front of her very eyes. "But that's just a phase I'm in", she hurried to justify, "Not like I could actually ... I mean ... he's my superior... and he's so damn young ..."

A sinister grin spread over Ayasegawa's face, causing Matsumoto to cringe a tiny bit in fear.

"Is little Ran-chan becoming flustered?"

Matsumoto threw him a dirty look, then turned to gulp down another cup of sake. "And you know what's worst about this situation?"

"What is?"

"I can't stop teasing him!", she said, slamming the cup down, "I mean, you know, he is a normal boy, and he is scooped up with me for almost the entire day and then I go and press his face into my boobs! How evil is that?"

"Pretty evil, actually."

"Yumichikaaa~", she whined desperately, "What should I do now?"

"That depends, I guess."

"On what?"

"What you want to do."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for starters you could ask yourself why it is that you like it when he's looking at you -"

"That's easy: It's flattering. I like being appreciated, especially when it's coming from someone as stoic as him."

"Even if it's only because natural curiosity has finally gotten the better of him and you're the best and most convenient subject of study?"

"Subject of study? Pfft! I guide him through it the entire way ..." Suddenly, she perked up, as if an ingenious idea had just struck her – which usually wasn't a good sign with Matsumoto. "That means", she said giddily, "that I'll be his first time and every girl that comes after will be compared to me!"

But her giddiness deflated as fast as it had come and with another sigh that displayed her utter distress she pressed her face into her hands.

"I'm a cradle-robber!"

At this Ayasegawa couldn't help but laugh, hiding it behind a hand demurely. He took a few seconds to get his sudden outburst under control and after wiping a tear of mirth away from the corner of his eye he spoke again.

"Aw c'mon, Rangiku-san", he said, his voice still a little shaky, "he is not that young."

She looked at him incredulously. "Not that young? The boy can barely look over my shoulder when standing on tiptoes in front of me."

"Which merely means he is short."

"Yumichikaaa~! That's not good enough!"

He heaved a sigh of frustration. Why was it that people always needed to have the obvious pointed out?

"Listen, Rangiku-san, I don't care about your perception regarding the ideal constellation of couples or whatever it is you base your absurd thoughts on, but I'd like for you to keep in mind that that boy you are talking about has reached the top of Soul Society faster than anyone else before him, that there is a group of more than a hundred shinigami under his command, ready to follow his order doubtlessly, that he slays hollows and arrancars and whoever chooses to defy that which he loves and stands for diligently and, lastly, that in accordance to your own words he holds your unreserved trust – all of this despite his young age. So tell me then, Rangiku-san, what is it exactly that lets him appear too young in your eyes?"

Her buzzed brain had some difficulties keeping up with Ayasegawa's long and passionate speech but with every word he said Matsumoto found herself a little more awed by the view he so easily advanced.

But he had always been one to think out of the box, that Ayasegawa Yumichika, and geez, was he being persuasive.

"Damn straight!", she exclaimed (in response to his words or her thoughts, nobody would ever know) and, slamming her hands on the table, pushed herself upright.

Then everything around her went black.